


The Blooming of the Cherry Trees

by Fjeril



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M, angst apparently, tw: death, tw: rape attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:33:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 96,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9349211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fjeril/pseuds/Fjeril
Summary: Dream Festivals were fun, because they were nothing like the rest of the year. Especially this one, because they were competing against Akatsuki.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe we're there. I'm publishing the monster.  
> I want to thank @Eydol for bearing with me and my daily sendings the whole time, because she's been suffering this for three months and a half!  
> Hope you enjoy your reading!

He had been staying like that for a while, now. Staring at the younger one, hidden behind the curtain. Watching the long, purple hair swing, according to the man's moves. Watching it rest on his back during calmer songs. He could see him breathe, watch his muscles roll under his skin. The show was always different, and always fascinating. So fascinating, in fact, that Rei loved to tease him about it every change he got. Somehow, while he was watching Akatsuki's performance, he could feel the self-declared vampire approach him.

"Fascinating," UNDEAD's leader whispered, his mic off.

"Tsk. Don't start," Kaoru replied, his eyes fixated on his clubmate.

"Oh, I'm not mocking you," Rei replied, too close to him - he could feel the dark, curly hair fell on his neck. "I was just thinking about how fascinating it is that you can spend so much time watching him perform."

Kaoru's tongue ticked, telling his bandmate to _shut the fuck up_ before he'd say something he would regret. But, and he wasn't the least surprised about it, Rei didn't care about such trivial things.

"It's such a _shame_ you won't admit you're totally gay," the black-haired man chuckled.

"I'm not-

\- Okay, you might not be gay. You could totally be bi, too. Which is fine too."

No wonder Koga was constantly pissed off by their leader, and barked so much, if Rei was with the wolf the same way he was with him. Especially when he didn't want to be annoyed. Like right now. Actually, like everytime Akatsuki performed, and particularly if they were in the backstages. Because he loved the way it looked like, and, with the band's new stage costumes, he liked it even more from behind. It helped reminding him that Souma could _actually_ kill him, even if his katana were to ever be removed from him.

"Listen, Rei, I know you feel lonely in your little gay world, but please, stop trying to assume anyone's sexuality without asking," he sighed. "Especially when I told you a bazillion times that I'm _straight_. It's starting to become annoying, you know?"

Even if he was fully concentrated - or at least, tried to be - on the younger singer, Kaoru could perfectly see his leader roll his eyes. Yeah, he knew what that meant. He wasn't funny, he knew it. Especially when Rei told him approximately a thousand times a day. In fact he could say the same, since his bandmate didn't let him flirt with girls as much as he wanted. That was how he had started skipping training - that, and because he didn't need it (according to himself, of course).

"But didn't you start going to the club more often, lately?"

Rei was impossible to stop. And right now, Kaoru wanted him to meet the wall, with all the vigour he had. Unfortunately, neither the wall nor Rei were thinking the same. _What a shame._

"No, Rei. I don't go to the club more often. Stop looking for any clue that would make you think I'm gay. I know you're feeling lonely, but if you're looking for someone to have sex with, then it's a no."

He prepared himself for what was coming up: Rei probably trying to make him fall for him - which was useless, since he could only fall for women, and only ones that were as beautiful as... He looked more closely at Akatsuki's center. _Fuck._

"Oh, I don't need you for that," the leader sing-sang.

That was a first.

"I have more... _Majestic_ tastes."

Majestic? Did he seriously mean...

"What, are you telling me you're fucking with Tenshouin?"

Humming gleefully , UNDEAD's vampire went away, giving orders to the band's pet dog, who was barking a little too loud, as usual. Now that he could concentrate again, Kaoru observed the band saluting, the grace in Souma's moves, his hair falling above his shoulder, some of it sticking to his back. He surprised himself biting his lower lip, and almost panicked when the staff around him told him to get ready. What? ...Oh, right, it was their turn to go on stage, and the intro was going to play as soon as the other band would leave. So, he gathered his spirits, joined his comrades, and _oh fuck how am I supposed to stay concentrated when he's looking like that._

"Kaoru!"

His bandmate's voice had been harsh, and he couldn't help but get irritated at Rei's mocking expression, when Koga looked angry enough to give his best. _At least if I fuck up he'll get the attention away from it..._

"Lord Hakaze," a calmer voice called, and he froze.

He didn't think his clubmate's voice could be so soft and kind, nor have such a gentle feeling when he smiled. So, he turned towards Akatsuki's members, trying to remain calm when he saw his junior's happy face.

"Good luck," Souma added, just before UNDEAD's intro started.

Kaoru gulped, and watched the lights dance on the stage. He could vaguely hear the dog bark, but only reacted when a cold hand touched his shoulder.

"He told you «good luck». Don't spoil everything because of your crush when he's waiting for you to do your best."

The blond student took a deep breathe, noting he needed to have a talk with Rei after the festival - he did _not_ have a crush on Kanzaki, dammit! - before his leader added:

"You need to charm him too."

That was too much. Kaoru prepared to punch Rei in the face, until he heard the fans screaming his name. Oh, right, it was his turn to show up on the stage. So, looking into his friend's eyes, he answered:

"Thank you."

Before performing the best he could. _I'll show him. I'll show him I, too, can be the best, on stage._ From time to time, he took a look at his bandmates. Koga's energy was at its maximum, but right now, he had to surpass it. For the first time in a while, he had found a meaning to the lyrics he was used to sing. He had found a reason to give his energy. "Good luck", huh? How came those two words alone could give him so much willpower? _For how long haven't I heard them? And why him in particular? Why was he smiling?_

The crowd was cheering for them, and Kaoru gave his best, flirted with some of the fans, danced like never before, sang from the bottom of his heart. His energy seemed to reach his bandmates, because all of them seemed unusually enthusiastic. Adonis seemed to be almost smiling, something Kaoru had never seen before - last time Adonis had tried to smile, it had looked so awkward that Kaoru had felt bad for him. And thus, until the end, he gave his best.

Only when the live finished, the blond singer allowed himself to think about what he had seen during the other band's performance, about Souma's smile when they had exchanged a word, about the grace of that body. Once the band left the stage, Kaoru allowed himself to sit down, ignoring the pat he felt on his head - Sakuma was a real devil - and closed his eyes. His body felt weird, especially when he imagined Souma in his stage costume.

 _Oh wait_ , he suddenly realized, _I know this kind of weird..._

Oh no. Seriously, no. That couldn't be, right? Sighing, he opened his eyes, ready to make himself as tiny as possible while the results of the Dream Festival were being decided, and disappear in the toilets for the next few minutes; but before he could even get up, his eyes met the most beautiful view they had had in an hour. And his body took him by surprise.

While he refrained himself from touching the long, messy purple hair, Kaoru smiled at his clubmate, crossing his legs, but he couldn't even apologize and run to the bathroom that the other one's eyes were filled with stars. _Again. Could you please stop looking so attractive? You're a guy. A man. The most beautiful man I've ever seen, yes, but still. Not a woman. You don't have boobs._

"Lord Hakaze, I've never seen you like that before! Today, you've shown me that you're not such a disgrace," he explained, and Kaoru couldn't get his eyes off the finely drawn muscles appearing through the black fabric. "As a junior, that might sound weird, but I can't help but feel proud of you," he explained.

"That'sthankstoyou,actually," he managed to babble, trying not to focus on how _tight_ his leather pants were feeling.

_And oh please can you go somewhere I can't see you, because unless you plan on doing something about it I'd rather you not see the state my body's in..._

"Thanks to me? I didn't do anything, though," Akatsuki's center turned his head, and Kaoru was sure the red on his cheeks wasn't his imagination.

Taking a deep breath to try and calm his natural reaction - he was clutching his nails in the palm of his hand to make the blood rush elsewhere - Kaoru closed his eyes.

"You cheered for me... You never cheered for me, before. It's usually «disgrace» or «heathen», surrounded by words like «you're gonna lose», «I'll show you how it is done», and things like that. So... Seeing you smile and cheering me up... I was happily surprised."

Silence followed his sentence. Feeling a little better, and also quite curious of why he didn't get a response to his declaration, Kaoru opened an eye. His clubmate was still facing him, his left hand on his right arm, looking away. What was happening? Why did he have such an expression? Kaoru wasn't even able to tell what it was. The purple eyes seemed lost in the distance, and the younger one was biting his lower lip, his free fist clenched. Kaoru had never seen someone act like that - he never acted like that, nor did any of his girlfriends - and didn't understand.

"Hey. Souma-kyun."

The singer jumped out of surprised, his eyes wide open turning towards Kaoru. The thing made him laugh, and he looked at his junior with a smile.

"Thanks for the cheering, and the compliment. But you're gonna win, tonight."

Before Souma's astonished expression, he precised:

"Even if I did my best, you're a better singer and performer than I am. I'm a lazy ass, but you're the incarnation of grace and beauty."

Then, feeling better, he left his chair, trying to refrain from thinking about how Souma was cute when he blushed, and joined his own unit, where he... Had the surprise to not find Sakuma. Where was that shitty fake vampire, now? He had a punch to send in his face. Maybe.

"Ah Kaoru, you finally stopped flirting with the princess?" the wolf asked, seeming impatient.

"Shut the hell up. Where's-

\- Our beloved leader said he needed to have a talk with the Emperor and would come back soon, but he said that half an hour ago."

 _A_ talk _, right,_ Kaoru sighed. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what kind of talk Rei was having with Tenshouin, if what he had implied earlier was true.

"I seriously hope he's not trying to influence the results," the doggie snickered. "He's spending a real lot of time with that asshole, lately."

 _Asshole is the right word, just maybe not in the meaning you're thinking about..._ The blond managed to keep that for himself, and, taking a look at Adonis's usual impassible expression, he replied:

"Isn't Hibiki the one in charge of the DreamFes results, lately, though?"

Koga suddenly seemed to stop functionning.

"Oh... Right."

 _Yeah, right,_ he sighed. Why in the world was he in that unit, already? Sometimes he'd rather change to Akatsuki, at least they didn't seem to be fighting all the time, and their aesthetics were quite appealing to the eye. And then, he remembered that he wasn't really interested in the traditionnal apects of Japan - except for girls in Yukata during festivals. _I wonder how he would look like in a Yukata... Ugh, focus, Kaoru,_ he scolded himself. But Souma would look extra awesome in a Yukata.

Shaking these thoughts away, he looked for his pet bottle, and found a note taped on it. And honestly, if he didn't know what Rei was doing, he would have gone and made him eat his words. He really hoped Souma wasn't as observant as his leader was, because if he was... _If he is I'm fucked, and not in the meaning I want._ For the upteenth time, Kaoru sighed, and when Adonis asked him what the matter was, he found himself unable to answer.

"When people are in love, they tend to sigh because they can't meet the person they love."

Kaoru jumped, and almost hit the nearest person. But Rei had quick reflexes and caught his wrist just in time. Oh? He was back, then?

"You're already over? My, is it you or Tenshouin that is so fast?"

Honestly, he was disappointed. He'd think the most popular boys of the school would last longer than that, seriously!

"Huh? I think half an hour is correct, especially when you're in the middle of something."

Half an... What?

"Half an hour? It was like ten minutes ago..."

The surprised expression he could read on his leader's face slowly turned into amusement. Uh-oh, he wasn't going to like the next sentence, right?

"Ten minutes ago? Kaoru, does time go fast when you look at him?

\- Don't start.

\- Do you like simply spending time with him, and talk with him?

\- Do NOT!

\- Kaoru, you're in-

\- SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

His shouting apparently attracted the attention of their partners, and Kaoru wondered how much of their conversation Adonis and Koga had managed to hear. Fortunately, UNDEAD had taught them it was useless to pay too much attention at discussions between him and Sakuma, and they were practicing that point a _lot_. And that was good, because he didn't want them to hear about their matters - he wasn't ready to accept he was falling for a _man_ , not even to himself, so having to say it before his friend was worse. Sakuma sighed, shaking his head.

"I'm just trying to help you, there. What's so wrong with admitting it?"

What was so wrong? _Everything_ was wrong! Why would he like men in the first place?! He didn't mind Rei preferring guys, but _himself?_ No. Fucking. Way.

"Why would I like guys? There's no reason for that."

Rei's eyebrow lifted, and Kaoru felt like he had said something very stupid, though he didn't really understand what.

"Are you serious? Do you think there's a reason why I like guys?"

Kaoru blinked. Twice.

"What? There is none?"

His bandmate placed his hand on his face, apparently not agreeing with his way of thinking.

"I could tell you it's because I like how men's bodies are, or how I like their way of thinking, or how exciting the suave voice of a man is when moaning under me, and that wouldn't be completely wrong, but honestly? I just. Love people that share the same physical attributes as me. That's it."

The blond singer felt confused. He had always thought there was a reason behind that sexuality of Rei's, that something had occurred in the past. That maybe, that something had to do with the reason Ritsu hated his brother. But all he got was... That?

"But it's you... You've always been a particular man. I mean you're a self-proclaimed vampire, you sleep in a coffin,

\- I'm weak to the sun, and probably a million other things, yeah, I know. But then, give me one reason why you would only enjoy spending time with girls."

He felt stupid. He felt stupid and he hated it, because Rei was making him doubt who he had always thought he was.

"I... Like how cute they are, I like the curves of their bodies, their attitude, their voices..."

At least he thought so. But the more he thought about it, the more all of those were irritating him. Yeah, he loved spending time with girls, just a few hours, preferably not at karaoke, and he preferred calm ones, that didn't shout in super high-pitched voices all the time, about how everything was cute.

"And tell me. Just like that. What were your last thoughts about Kanzaki?"

His face suddenly turned red, when all the thought he had got a few minutes earlier came back to his mind. The last one was-

"Hey, girls, when you're finished chatting about the most handsome guy in that school and realized that it's me, would you please get ready to come back on stage? It's time to announce the results."

Mentally slapping himself, Kaoru noted he'd need to thank Hibiki for his interruption. It had been a challenge enough to accept who his body was reacting to, and his mind was now filled with too many questions he didn't have the answer to. Fuck, Rei was a real demon, no doubt on that. Maybe he really was a vampire... The young singer shivered at the idea, before he realized something had been weird all day long. _Adonis and Souma hadn't talked to each other_. Seeing how they usually spent a lot of time together, it was weird that neither of them had talked to the other when the two bands were to spend the day together.

Speaking about the devil, Adonis clicked his tongue, and arranged himself, ready to come on the stage. He seemed bothered by something, but Kaoru couldn't tell what, and to be honest, Adonis _always_ seemed bothered by something, that time was just worse than the usual. He wanted to ask, but the Glare of Ultimate Wrath that Wataru shot at him prevented him from doing any move towards anyone or anything that was not the stage. He gulped, and obeyed.

UNDEAD wasn't the most coherent unit according to their characters, and yet their entry still got lots of acclamations. He couldn't help but smile, knowing that at least _a quarter_ of those shouts were for him, and sent a kiss to his fans. He adored them, _though their screeches are starting to get on my nerves,_ and all of them looked like clones, all of them making the same face, screaming the same words, on the same tone, _again and again_. He remembered he used to love them, the way they called his name, the way they admired him... _Or rather the image of me._ _Why? Why am I thinking like that? Why so suddenly?_

"Hey," Sakuma whispered, "It's not the moment to be depressed. Keep that for the backstages, or at least for our eventual loss face to Akatsuki."

Kaoru suddenly blinked, and looked at his bandmate. It felt like he was in another world, that day. Nodding, he patiently waited for the result to be announced - he didn't really care about it, because no matter whoever would win, he had the feeling they would deserve it - his brain in such a funny mood it showed him again the images of Souma dancing, his moves graceful and beautiful, and he had to force himself out of these thoughts, because _damn_ , he didn't need to react like he did earlier.

The drums were rolling, and keeping as calm as possible when their hearts were racing, everybody waited for it to stop and announce the results. After Kaoru had been at his best, he knew he had no regret to have, whatever the result was - and it was lucky for him, because the name Wataru's voice shouted wasn't UNDEAD'S. Surprise could be read on Souma's face, and Akatsuki's center turned towards him, his mouth forming a shocked "o". But Kaoru smiled to him, the brightest of smiles he could - because he was so proud, so happy to see that people were thinking the same as him - and raised his thumb.

 _It's alright_ , he meant. _You were awesome. Don't worry for us._

The message seemed to reach him, because Souma smiled the brightest Kaoru had ever seen. It was so beautiful, and warmed his heart so much, he couldn't help but feel happy. Goodbye, the though he had had just a few minutes ago, goodbye the concerns towards Adonis, goodbye any problem. Nothing mattered anymore. Souma's sparkling eyes were the only thing he cared about anymore.

It wasn't their leader's case, though, and Sakuma seemed a little disappointed, so much he flicked Kaoru's forehead.

"Don't look so happy when we just lost face to your boyfriend," he scolded.

Yet, this wouldn't alter Kaoru's mood the least.

"He's not my boyfriend, but I honestly am glad we lost face to Akatsuki. They have something we miss," he commented, "And I see you coming: no, it's not _Souma_ I'm thinking about."

Sakuma pouted. He could understand why, but didn't let him know about that. Instead, he explained:

"They have a harmony we're missing. I mean... Our voices _do_ sound super harmonious, but, just once, you should watch them on stage. Our performances are a real mess next to theirs."

His leader seemed to be pondering, but didn't get to do so for long, since Wataru came to ask him about how he felt. Of course, Sakuma always had the right word in such a case, but Kaoru hadn't expected him to speak about what they were discussing just a minute ago. He felt a little ashamed, and couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed when he saw Akatsuki's center peek a him, a surprised look on his face. An akward smile on his lips, he just shrugged, hoping Souma wouldn't learn that he had spent the whole Akatsuki performance watching his every moves.

And even worse, _what if he learns about what I feel...?_ Suddenly, Kaoru felt terribly ill-at-ease with the situation, and the minutes they were spending on stage started feeling like hours. He almost wanted to tug on Rei's jacket to tell him he wanted to leave as soon as possible, but unfortunately, he wasn't a kid at a family dinner, and Sakuma wasn't his mom. And thus, he had to endure the torture until it ended. Luckily, it ended soon enough, with their leader congratulating the other band, Akatsuki's second thanks speech, and after a final salute, they finally got to leave the stage.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your reactions towards the first chapter, it made me very happy! Here's chapter two ~

He couldn't wait to get changed and go hide somewhere - but where? Home was hell, no way he was going there. The club? Oh right, the club. With Kanata and _Souma._ And _Souma_ was the exact reason why he wanted to hide. He had another solution: calling a girl so he'd spend the evening - and maybe the night - with her. But as he roamed through his phone, looking at names that he couldn't even really associate to a face, the screams of fangirls came to his mind. The irritating sound of their voices, the high-pitched screams at the sight of anything... He sighed.

_I'm doomed... I guess the best for me would be to go home and stay in my room, with the door closed for the night..._ _At least I wouldn't see anyone, or risk to fight with dad... I'd just be there, with my thoughts, and not even Sakuma would be able to tease me..._

Speaking about Sakuma, if he could borrow his coffin, he'd gleefully do it - though he knew that was a dream that couldn't get true. Especially if Tenshouin was to visit the said coffin... It really felt like he had nowhere to go. As he finished changing clothes to his uniform, he heard a familiar voice.

"Kaoru-kun! Congratulations!"

Okay. He knew Kanata lived in his own world, and had learnt to bear with it, but why would the club president congratulate him on his loss? Apparently, Koga thought the same, because the wolf sneered, behind him.

"Club president, I don't want to be mean, but we lost, you know? It's Souma you should go congratulate, not me..."

Instead of getting angry, or even disappointed, Kanata just smiled even more. No wonder Tenshouin called him an oddball.

"I know ♪" He sing-sang. "I'll go congratulate him, too, but I saw your performance, and it was awesome! So, Kaoru-kun, congratulations!"

That said, the Marine Life Club President left the room with his usual "bubble, bubble ♪", and Kaoru could hear him knock on Akatsuki's door. At least, Souma knew how to talk with the sea-obsessed student, and somehow, Kaoru felt better knowing his clubmates would leave him alone. Taking his bag, he quickly saluted his bandmates.

"Okay, see you guys," he lascively told them, opening the door with an obvious fustration.

"Wait a minute," Sakuma's voice was too soft, and there was a smile in it, he could swear it. "I do hope you're going to come practice evey time," he said, "or _at least_ twice a week, huh? You are the one who said we missed harmony, so I guess you'll work on that point, too. Right?"

_Oh crap, I should learn to shut my big mouth._ He sighed, and answered anyway.

"Yeah, understood... Can I go home, now, mom? I would like to spend some time alone with my thoughts."

A laugh answered him, and the self-proclaimed vampire finally let him go.

"Yeah, yeah, go home, don't forget to send your boyfriend a message or he'll worry for you!

\- As if."

...Wait, that wasn't the reaction he was supposed to have, right? Wasn't he supposed to say something along the lines of: "I don't have a boyfriend!", "I like girls!", or at least "Do you mean the one that calls me «disgrace» and want to cut me in half on a daily basis"?! What was happening? Clenching his fists, he left the room, and walked away, as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, the whole world had decided to league against him, and he heard Souma's voice again. Weak as he was, he stopped, sighed, and waited for his junior to catch up with him. Souma looked a bit worried, and bowed so low Kaoru thought his back was going to break. Honestly, right now, he didn't even understand what was happening. He was having a bad dream, right? A terribly terrifying one.

"Hey, Souma-kyun, you shouldn't stay like this, you're gonna hurt your back."

The younger one stopped bowing, and the grace in his moves impression Kaoru again. He couldn't help but bite his lips again, but the expression on Souma's face refrained him from thinking further. Why did he look so sad?

"I'm sorry, Lord Hakaze. I've got to atone for my sins with-

\- No, you are not doing that," the blond precipitaly replied, catching Souma's hands without thinking about it.

The flustered face his clubmate made was way too cute, but he couldn't let himself get shaken by that, and added:

"What sin would you even atone for, in the first place? Stop wanting to die, honestly, that's frightening."

The purple-haired student stayed silent for a few seconds, and, finally, his voice shaking:

"Because we won, though you did your very best for the performance..."

Jaded, Kaoru lifted an eyebrow. Was he serious? He wanted to die for that?

"Huh... Souma? Are you serious? Did you hear what Sakuma said during his speech? You won because you were the best. Because you train harder than we do. Because... Because I'm an irresponsible man who ditches his responsibilities and runs away from home."

Kanzaki seemed completely startled by his words, and he felt less resistance in his hands - as if his clubmate didn't care anymore that he was being restrained from cutting his own body.

"...Are you calling yourself a disgrace?"

He stopped thinking for a whole second. That wasn't his intention at all, yet he had to guess that... He did. It was hard to admit, but Akatsuki's center was right. He lived like a disgrace. Such a disgrace that his thought were invaded by a man.

"... I guess I did."

Souma blinked, and the only answer that came out of his mouth was:

"...Wow."

He wasn't very proud of it, but he had to admit he didn't do any effort in anything. Not that he really needed it - he had good grades even when not working on it, he had enough confidence in his singing, and he had suscribed to the Marine Life Club just for the excursions on the beach. But right now, it felt like he had missed a point, somewhere. And of course, Souma _had_ to be the one pointing him the problem, huh...

He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. He knew there was something he had to say, but how was he supposed to say that? A lot more had happened in just a few hours than in his three years of studying there.

"...I... Should be the one atoning for my sins with seppuku," he finally managed to say, his hands finally freeing his clubmate's.

Souma's eyes seemed lost, looking for something in his, but all he would find was guilt, and loss. He didn't even know where he was supposed to be.

"...Don't. Don't say things that imply your wishing to die. ...That's frightening," the younger one finally managed to articulate. "Especially when it's about past things. You cannot change the past, only the future. Lord Hakaze, as my senior, you should be the one showing me the future is brighter than in my mind. You should be the one showing me the right path.

\- But I'm a disgrace.

\- You're lost. The truth is, you remind me of a stray dog, taking every little good thing that life can bring you, play with it for some time, and then throw it away because it doesn't help you get out of your loneliness. This only goes for girls, though. Because there are things you like to come back to, things that may be comforting for you. A place where you can be yourself, with a home-like feeling, for when you feel too lonely. That is both UNDEAD and the Marine Life Club. But..."

The look in his junior's eyes seemed so determined Kaoru just froze in place.

"What I would like is for you to consider going to those places even when you're not feeling _too_ lonely. That you would consider both of these place as different parts of  <<home>>, that you would start thinking about how the other people going there are also feeling lonely. That some people _also_ feel lonely when _you_ are _not_ there. That they would feel better if you came more often, that it could brighten their lives. A lot."

He seemed to be looking in the void, as if he was thinking, then looked straight into his eyes.

"That's all I had to say. ...I think."

It took a little more time to Kaoru to really record all the things his clubmate had told him, and while his head asked a million questions - was it Sakuma, or Adonis, or even Kanata that had planted such ideas in his mind? Or something else? Were people really missing him? When had he ever been necessary in anybody's life? - only one came out of his mouth:

"Is this part of your training?"

The expression on Akatsuki's center's face was indescribable, and though he trid to detail it, he failed. (Was he even worth studying in this school? Why would anyone ever miss him for anything? Did he really have a place here?) In the end, while a good thirty-seven questions appeared in his mind without finding an answer, Souma gave him at least one:

"Somehow. Meditating is an important part of it."

_But why would you meditate about me?_

"And, also, I needed to get all of this out of my mind. Because it keeps me away from concentrating. Anyway, Lord Hakaze... Thank you for listening to me. And, even if I said all of that, I still think you were amazing, like you were never before, and I really should stop talking now."

Though he wondered why Souma had to stop talking - but it probably was because of his training, or he had to go to the club - UNDEAD's blond head kindly smiled. He had a lot of things to think about, and at least a good half of them concerned Souma, and it was probably time for him to go, too.

"Souma. Thank you for everything."

His heart squeezed at the look he was given.

"I'll think about it all. Now you should go celebrate with Hasumi and Kiryu, instead of losing your time with a stray dog," he smiled.

"Pardon my words, but I was merely trying to tame you, Lord Hakaze," the second year student almost whispered.

"Then," he took a deep breath, "Maybe you could start by using my first name."

Never had he even thought he'd see Souma's eye become so wide in his life, nor that he'd see him bow that much again. _Please, take care of your back..._

"Thank you Lord Haka... Kaoru!"

Heh, he wasn't very good at it, yet. Still, the effort pleased him, and he ruffled his junior's hair, waiting for him to stand up.

"Thanks, Souma. I'll think about it all. That's a lot of things, so it might take time, but... Anyway. Thanks."

The joyful smile on Akatsuki's center's face made him think of a happy little dog, and Kaoru couldn't help but make the relation with that stray dog metaphore. Yet, it was time to leave the school, and let people get back to their lives - even if his wasn't very thrilling.

"I'll let you get back to you training. I have things to do, tonight. Again, congrats on your victory."

These words said, he finally went away, hoping no other words were going to be said except for his junior's salutation: he couldn't bear with any more holding backs. So, headphones on his ears, he started walking home, trying to ignore the world around him. Consider these places as <<home>>, huh... He wasn't really ready to get a coffin like Rei did, or live in the fountain like Kanata... _Heh, I could still find my_ coffin _or_ fountain _, and become an oddball too, in the end, huh..._

Laughing at his own stupidity, Kaoru didn't even realise how much he had walked until he arrived in his room. He could hear his father shout already that he was already late for dinner, _again_ , and that it wasn't like they were really waiting for him in the first place, because if all he could do was sing an dance _like a girl_ and spend all his nights out, he wouldn't go anywhere in life, and since he was the only one without _real_ life plans, or even a girlfriend, a _stable_ one he could marry- "I'll end up chosing one for you if you keep playing around! And if you're a poof, I'll take that idea off your head!" - so he just rolled his eyes and went to bed, looking through his phone for a girl's name. None of them looked interesting, but then, he saw that name.

"...Bad idea, Kaoru," he told himself, closing his phone.

Sighing, he lied over the sheets, asking himself if he should sleep or just spend the night away. As he was looking for inspiration, his thoughts wandered towards everything that had happened that day. How he couln't help finding Souma super cute, or extremely attractive, _sexy_ even, whenever he saw him, even more when the singer was on stage. Oh, he didn't really see Akatsuki's performance. He saw Souma's. The precision of his moves, his solos, the beauty of his dance with his katana, the way too beautiful view on his back given by his new scene costume... Before he had even realized it, his hand had slipped on his lower abdomen. Souma's sweet voice whenever he talked or sang, its variations between the moments he called Kaoru "disgrace" and the ones when he was talking calmly, like he did just before...

He couldn't help but imagine his hands sliding on the younger man's body, tracing his torso, his hips, the delicate curve of his ass, the muscles of his thighs... Kaoru bit his lip so hard a drop of blood fell out of it. His fantasies were bringing him far, _way too far_ , and he knew it was too late the moment he could visualize his junior's reddened face, and imagine his voice moaning under his thrusts. He knew he had to face the truth the _second_ his body hit its climax.

As he regained his breath, eyes locked on the ceiling, he couldn't help but mutter:

"Well, yeah, sorry dad, but I might be a _poof_ , as you say. And then what...?"

Yeah, and then, what? What if he had been in love with Souma all this time? What if he had been flirting with all the girls he saw just _not_ to accept he liked that man? _Huh... Could that really be the case? Dad's not being very tender toward the idea of me liking men, and..._ And he really needed to think about it.

"You're like a stray dog," Souma's voice repeated in his mind.

A stray dog. A lost animal, looking for a place where he could be loved and accepted for who he was. An animal not fit for the place he is in, and yet stil forced to stay there, waiting for the person who'd take him away from that unfit place - or just for death, but he'd rather avoid that one.

"The old man's right," he phrased, "I'm useless shit. I can't even manage to find my place by myself..."

He laughed, knowing nobody could hear him anyway. The good part of his relation with his father was that since they couldn't stand each other, they tended not to hang out in the same area. _Aah, fuck_ , he could feel the tears falling on his cheeks. He hated that, feeling so weak and miserable. He felt so lost... So lonely.

"Help?" his voice myserably let out, while his was crying - or laughing, he wasn't sure which one it was anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After way too many weeks, here's chapter 3!  
> Have fun ~  
> As always, thanks to my dearest @Eydol for bearing with me ♪

A good hour after, he managed to calm down, and looked at his phone. As he looked through his contacts, his eyes stopped on Sakuma's name. It was just before _Souma's_ , and though he had hesitated for a few second, his band leader seemed the best person to talk to. So, he tapped the "call" icon, and waited for an answer. It came quicker than he had expected, and he didn't really know what to say.

"Aaaw, Kaoru-chan! Finally, you're calling me! I was waiting for you. Is it about Souma ?"

Kaoru almost hang up immediately, but remembered he _needed_ to talk.

"Well... Yeah it is," he admitted.

"Aah, I knew it. So, did he declare to you? Did you declare to him? Tell me."

He rolled his eyes. What, was he a teenager? He sighed, and started talking.

"None of those. He... Talked to me about my behaviour. About how he saw me as a stray dog. About how I only came to the places that felt the most like home from time to time, and how people could miss me. But that's unlikely, isn't it? Why would people miss me?"

The loud sigh on the other side of the line only added to his confusion. What had he said?

"Kaoru. You know, people have feelings. And sometimes, people feel affection towards other people. That's called friendship. You know what it is, it is exactly the bond there is between the two of us. And, spending time with your friends strenghtens that bond. Calling them does, too. And so, usually, people like spending time with their friends, doing things they can only do with their friends, like band activities, or club activities. And the thing is, everyone enjoys this, and it's just not the same when one is missing. ... Kaoru, we miss you. You bring an important energy to UNDEAD, and out of us, your singing is the best. And I think Souma meant he missed you, too. A lot. Because without you the club's atmosphere's probably not the same. After all, his trying to cut you is kind of a routine, now, isn't it? And he takes so much time worrying about you, and trying to take care of you... Urgh, that guy's completely in love with you!"

Kaoru sighed. Why did his friend have to come to such a conclusion? He didn't _want_ to admit it. Because admitting it would give his father a real reason to shout at him.

"Heh... I'll think about it. Oh, damn, I just can't be bi, it would be the end of me."

Sakuma seemed a little surprised.

"What do you mean? I'm gay and I survive. Pretty well, even. Better than you do as an heterosexual man, actually.

\- That's not what I meant. I was speaking about the situation at home... If my father even hears me bringing a man home when he wants me to get a wife as soon as I leave high school, he's gonna kill me. He hate fags, you know.

\- Don't say _fags_ , that's insulting.

\- Yeah, sorry... I'm just...

\- Lost ?

\- Yeah.

\- Of course you are. You had too much in too little time. Why did you even call me, you should have just gone to bed. Honestly, Kaoru, if there's one thing you need to know, it's that it's okay, and it's also okay if you take time, as long as you start doing efforts. Like, if you could just come to band practice even just once a week, but every week. Just that. Without skipping just because you feel bad. We're there for you, too. We're not just people you sing and dance with. And then... Well, you could also go to the club once to twice a week, and come every week, too. Just take it as spending time with Kanzaki and Shinkai." Kaoru felt a shiver down his spine when Sakuma pronounced Souma's familiy name, and the only thing that came to his mind was that he was more addicted than he had thought. "Same for practice : you're just going to spend good time with friends - if you even consider us as friends."

If he had listened to his instincts (but Kaoru was a champion at not doing that), he would have hung up. Yet, he just clenched his fist, and hummed.

"I'll think about trying that.

\- Kaoru ~ !

\- Haha, see you tomorrow."

He barely had the time to hear his friend answer him that he hung up. He heard his sister calling him, and someone knocking at his door.

"Kaoru, we left food for you in the fridge. I don't know and I don't want to know what you've been doing all evening long, but don't forget to eat. And remember that...

\- Your wedding is next week-end, I know, as if I could forget it when dad speaks about it from the second he wakes up to the second he falls asleep, shut the fuck up with that, I don't care.

\- You can come with your girlfriend, you know, so you'll both be able to see how it is to get married!

\- Heh, I'd rather not come at all, bro. Just go get married and leave that house for once."

"Fine, do whatever you want. It's not like I'd need such a lowlife as you, anyway. Just wanted to remind you how much of a disappointment you are."

Kaoru opened the door, looked at his brother, and smiled, as much as he could.

"Oh, yes, I know, I'm a disappointment. You know, it's been at least fourteen - no, fifteen, now - times that you've said me that in a total of..." he looked at his phone, "Oh, fourteen hours. Now, if you don't mind, dear brother, I'd like to, at least, spend eight hours, or more without hearing you saying this. Will you leave me alone so I can lay in my bed, close my eyes, and shut down my body for the night?"

His brother seemed irritated, but Kaoru did care. He closed and locked the door, and went to bed. And damn, if only he could see something else than Souma in his stage costume every time he closed his eyes...

When the end of the lessons came, Kaoru was desperate. He had spent the whole day without being able to follow even a thing the teacher had said, and had spent his time looking at his wristwatch. The hours had been long, and it felt like the day would never end. And he also had to remember he had to go to the Marine Life Club, that day. He had promised Souma. He had also promised Rei he'd come to practice at least one time a week... _What did I put myself in, dammit. I should have shut my big mouth_. He put his belongings in his bag, and left the room.

Out of it, he found Souma, arms crossed, apparently waiting for him. Kaoru sighed, and quickly joined him. He already knew why his junior had been waiting there.

"You were waiting for me so I couldn't run away from club activities, weren't you?" he asked.

"That, and I would like to talk, too.

\- To talk? About the things we spoke about yesterday? I think I need more time though..."

Souma placed a hand on his face, and sighed, surprising Kaoru.

"No, it's not about that. This time... I'm the one concerned," he admited. "I'll explain you on the way to the club."

Kaoru nodded, and the both of them starting walking towards the club, knowing Kanata was busy with Ryuuseitai that day and would join them later.

"You see... Uh. How should I start..."

Kaoru smiled.

"Just start the way it comes to you," he said, placing his hands in his pockets.

"Okay, then. I love... Men.

\- Yeah, and?"

Apparently taken aback, Souma then sighed so longly it seemed he felt relieved from a very, very heavy weight.

"And, well, the other day, Adonis confessed to me. But..."

Oh, he saw the problem. And now, he understood why his friend hadn't even approached Souma the day before. _But what if Sakuma was right..._ He shook the idea off, and continued the conversation :

"But you don't love him back, do you?"

The purple haired student nodded.

"And you told him, right?"

Another nod. He smiled, and ruffled Souma's hair.

"Don't worry. I don't think he'll stay away from you for too long. He's your friend in the first place, and even if he knows little about Japanese culture, he probably won't stay away from you. Just leave him some time so he can accept your refusal. Also, Adonis is a simple man. Soon enough, just spending time with you will be enough for him. Just feed him with meat if you need to tame him again."

The last sentence made his junior laugh, and his heart started beating a samba. Himself couldn't help but smile when hearing it, because when Souma laughed, it felt like the world turned into a brighter place. They arrived in front of the Marine Life Club, and Souma opened the door. He explained that, for some reason, Kanata had given him the keys to the club, and he seemed so happy he could feed the animals that he looked like a child, _a very cute, very grown up child_ , Kaoru thought.

The young man accompagnied him in the room, closed the door, and looked around him. In the tanks, the marine animals seemed... To be animals, for him, and though he loved the sea, he was still unfamiliar with all those things. It didn't really help that he was never there, actually. Also, Kanata and Souma usually were the ones who fed them, so he had never got a chance at trying it.

"Can you help me? We need to feed the tropical fishes, and change the water for those," Souma explained him, showing the animals.

"And what about Kamekichi?

\- It's Kamegorou, and I'm the one feeding him."

The answer had been a little harsh, but he probably had deserved it.

"Alright, alright. Then, what and how do I do?"

The second year student placed a strange, cylindar box in his hands, according to which it was food for the fishes. He barely knew how much the little things needed, but they were a lot of them, so he took on pouring "a lot", not really knowing how much of a lot it was.

"So I'm feeding the little ones?

\- Changing the water is a difficult task if you're not used to it, and I fear that you'd accidentally kill some of them, so I'll be the one in charge of it," Souma explained, and Kaoru couldn't help a sigh of relief - he didn't see himself change that water, and it there were explanations to be done, he'd probably space out because Souma was too close or he'd try recognizing his perfume.

Shaking his head, Kaoru finally executed his taks, feeding the tropical fishes. Following his clubmate's instructions, he tried not to pour too much food in the tank. Unfortunately, he tapped a little bit too strongly on the box, and so much food fell in the tank that you couldn't see the inside from the top anymore. He wanted to slam his head against a wall, but decided that explaining the situation instead would probably be better.

And the only response he got was a burst of laughter, as soon as the younger one saw the state of the tank - it looked decorated by an abstract painter. Ah, yeah, of course. He laughed, too, though he was a little frustrated. He couldn't even do a thing right, not even for his clubmates, huh?

"Don't worry," Souma tried to reassure him in the middle of his laughter, "They'll be alright, they probably won't even need us to feed them tomorrow, actually," he explained. "Haha, how did you manage to put so much of it in the tank!"

When Kaoru showed him how he had done - with the box closed, he took his hands, to show him how he was supposed to use the thing. It was way more delicate than he had thought it would, but he couldn't even bring himself to listening to his junior, because he was way too close, and he could smell his perfume, and feel his hands. And Kaoru was in another world. A world that smelled of cinnamon, a world in which hands were so soft, so delicate though the manipulated a katana on a daily basis, that he felt flabbergasted.

But he had to go down on earth, and to understand what Souma had told him, because even if he ever accepted the idea that he had feeling for his clubmate, he'd need to listen to what the other one would have to say. And though that was something he was used too, for some reason, his other senses were more reactive than his ears, when it was about Souma. _Ah, I hate myself in these moments. Things like that never happen when I'm with a girl, why did I accept and come here instead of seeing one of them?_

He shook his head, realizing that not only his thoughts were complete nonsense, but also that the door had been opened, and, at the entrance, Kanata could see the second-year student hold his hands and bring them up the tank. And it was at that precise moment that he became conscious of it all:

Souma's head on his shoulder. Souma's hands on his, Souma's body, way, way too close to his. He shivered at the realization of it all, and his face suddenly turned red because _Kanata could see them in that position_.

"I'm glad that the two of you finally became friends," he happily explained, before adding his usual "bubble, bubble!".

"Club president... Didn't you have things to do with your unit...?" Souma shyly asked, why shaking - Kaoru could feel it, and it made him even more uncomfortable.

The blond man slowly lowered his hands, letting his junior follow the movement so they could go back to less close positions.

"I did, didn't I?" he seemed to think, a finger on his chin. "I did! But I had to take something I forgot here, he happily added, opening the cupboard to find his... Scene costume?!

"Kanata, why is your costume in this room...

\- Because I know I'll find it here," the other third year simply answered, before taking the costume and putting it in his bag. "I have to go practice, be kind to our little friends!" he added, before leaving the room.

"I... wasn't expecting the Club President to come, to be honest," Souma admitted, rubbing his arm.

"I wasn't either, especially with us so close. If it wasn't Shinkai, I'd swear he was doing it on purpose.

\- Maybe he was.

\- Do you really think he'd leave his costume in this particular room where I never go just so he can catch us being friendly?"

Souma looked at him, and shook his head.

"No, you're right."

Kaoru smiled, and proceeded to ask Souma about what they were supposed to do, and how they were supposed to do it, and, in the end, they sat on the room's sofa. A few minutes later, someone knocked at the door, and Akatsuki's center looked like a child.

"Ah! Lord Hasumi! Please enter!"

A second later, Keito was in the room, with tea for two, and biscuits. Kaoru blinked, twice, three times, and looked at Keito.

"What is it for?

\- Souma has started catching a cold on stage, yesterday. So I'm bringing him hot tea for his throat. And since I assumed Shinkai would be there and you wouldn't, I prepared a second cup," he explained. "Anyway, take it, I don't care who drinks it as long as Souma has his."

Kaoru thanked him, and took the cup. He wasn't very fond of tea, and would rather have black coffe, but he'd take it anyway. He didn't want his clubmate to catch a cold either, and at least that would make a second one for him... Once the cookies placed on a table, Keito started leaving the room, not without a glance towards Kaoru.

"Don't you dare hurt him in any way, Hakaze. Or I'll punish you to death."

He gulped, and sank in the sofa. Why was Souma so surrounded by protective people? He was glad Kuro hadn't made his speech yet, because Akatsuki's last member felt at least as terrifying as the other two combined.

"Did you get yourself an anti-Kaoru protection squad?" he mumbled, looking at the cup of tea in his hands.

"I'd like to say I need at least that to protect me from disgrace," the younger mocked, "but actually I guess they're just being instinctively overprotective. Lord Hasumi and Lord Kiryu have been like that from the moment I joined them in Akatsuki, though," he precised.

Kaoru rolled his eyes. He was fucked. If he ever was to hurt Souma in any possible way, he now knew he'd die on the spot - not that he had already seen it coming from the very first time the second year student had tried cutting him with his katana.

"I see..."

He looked at the ceiling, thinking about how strange the day before had felt. About how weird his conversations had been, about how he had been talked to by his brother. During that time, he couldn't feel himself sank deeper in the sofa, and startled when Souma talked to him:

"Lor-... Kaoru, aren't you drinking your tea?"

He blinked, looked at the tea cup, and gave it to his junior.

"Ah, sorry, I forgot. I took it for you, I don't really like tea myself," he explained with an apologetic smile, before suddently thinking something that felt so evident he wanted to slap himself.

"Why don't I feel at home when I'm home..."

Had he really said that? He placed in hands in front of his mouth, feeling bad for having spurt out something like that in front of a junior classman. Souma smiled, and asked him:

"Where do you feel at home?"

He fell silent for a good minutes, trying to figure it out.

"I think... This place kind of feels like home. It's familiar, it has pleasant people in it, it can be both calm and agitated." He tried thinking harder about the things Souma had told him the day before, before deciding: "I'll go to practice, tomorrow. I agreed to go at least twice a week," he explained, and added: "I'm probably late on everyone in the band. I don't want to live the frustration from yesterday again."

_And I'd rather not relive the other frustration I felt yesterday_ , he added for himself. Yet, he was there, next to Souma, who was being so kind to him. Who hadn't even called him disgrace once that day. Who had trusted him with a thing he seemed not to have told anyone. Who hadn't even tried to cut him in half. What was happening?

"Hey, Souma..." he bit his lips. Was it a good idea to ask him that? Because he wasn't very sure about that point, especially when the whole world litteraly had told him to grow up and change a little so he could feel better, _just the day before_. "Is there something wrong with you? I mean... Apart from Adonis's declaration."

The younger one blushed, his eyes wide open, while looking at him in the eyes. He probably had put the finger on something.

"I don't know... Maybe, yeah. Maybe there's something a little wrong with me, lately. But if there is, then I appreciate it, and I don't really want it to change," he admitted.

Kaoru didn't understand how someone could like that there was something wrong with them, but whatever, after all, that man had never been like the others in any kind of way, and himself appreciated that point. So he smiled, and, taking a cookie, he replied:

"If you're happy with it, then keep it. I like it better when you smile."

Next to him, he suddenly heard Souma cough up his tea, and, confused, looked at him, helping him cough up whatever was blocking his breath. When the younger one was feeling a little better, Kaoru saw him grab his katana, and knew he had to flee.

"Are you mocking me?"

Kaoru blinked, more than once. What? What had he said?

"Huh? Why would I be?"

Souma looked at him, agape, and seemed to look for the slightest hint of his lying - of course, none was to be seen.

"I... Well... Sorry. And thank you."

The atmosphere felt kind of weird. Not completely awkward, but so different from the usual that Kaoru wasn't sure what to think about it. He did feel comfortable, though. Maybe a little more than he used to. It felt like he was discovering a new face of Souma's, and, unexpectedly, he liked it.

_A lot._

_Maybe just a little too much, to be honest._

"...Say, Souma. ...You said you loved men, right? ...Sakuma does, too, but.

\- But...?

\- ...How come it looks so natural, to you? How come both of you have no problem accepting it and living it as if it was the most normal thing on this planet?"

The look on Souma's face was so confused he looked adorable, and Kaoru felt even more uncomfortable, finding himself unable to look at his junior. His body, his heart, his mind seemed to be reacting to every little gesture, every little manner of Souma's, and that was starting to get unnerving. Of course, he knew what Sakuma said. Of course, he remembered how he had thought he had feelings for Akatsuki's center singer. But yet, he couldn't bring himself to _accept_ the fact he had feelings for the young man, because that would mean he wasn't who he had always believed he was, it would mean his family was right, and would have a reason to throw him out of their house. Yet, somehow, he couldn't wait for that moment. So why?

"Well... I guess it's just how it is? I'm not one to think deeply about futile things like love and all. I'm focused on my aims, which are completing my family's training, bring Akatsuki to the top, and become a voice actor. I never focused on love itself, but I did realise I had... Weird reactions when encountering some men."

He rubbed his own neck, seeming a little bit ashamed by what he was saying.

"Without precising the gender of the person, I asked my mother why my heart was beating faster, why my mind couldn't focus on the important things, why I felt so weird, but that it felt so good. She explained me. I think... The fact I like men isn't important. It's just that I never found women interesting."

He shrugged, and Kaoru felt his own heart beat faster, even more uneasy because of the mention of a person. There was - _had been_ , and probably _would be_ \- someone else than him, and suddenly, he felt like Sakuma had been mocking him all along, like it was only a joke to bring him to admit he wasn't as heterosexual as he used to claim it. _Well, maybe I just have a crush on_ one _man, and that's it_ , he told himself. _Maybe it's because Souma looks like a woman, or because he has long hair, is so graceful on stage..._

He thought again about what the younger one looked like on stage, and, definitely, it wasn't "like a woman". _Crap_. Even himself found a way to destroy his own arguments. How was he supposed to keep composure and kept sure he wasn't bi, or even gay, in such a situation?

"What do you mean, it doesn't matter? It does matter, when you think about getting married, have children, grandchildren, et caetera. It does matter for your family, so you can pass on their name, and their traditions."

His clubmate, next to him, sighed loudly, as if he was exasperated, and Kaoru was feeling even worse. He had probably said something either very wrong, or very stupid, or both. And Kanzaki didn't like that. So, after he had finished his second tea, the purple-haired student got up - he was probably going to leave the room, the third year told himself, and it was his very own fault, _what an idiot I am_. - and turned towards his senior.

"Lord Hakaze."

At least it was not "disgrace", he probably wasn't _that_ angry. Yet.

"Please pardon me for this."

And suddenly, the third year student felt the hardest, most violent - and painful! - slap he had ever gotten in his life. He placed a hand on his cheek, and looked at the other man in disbelief: was it really Souma who had done that?

Probably, actually, because he suddenly bowed very low, adding:

"Once again, I am sorry for this. I'd atone for my sins with seppuku, but you said yourself that I shouldn't want to die."

Kaoru sighed. Yeah, he at least needed that as a reminder. He patted the junior's head, and told him he could stop bowing or he'd hurt his back, and Kaoru didn't want him to hurt his beautiful back.

"Was what I said _that_ stupid?" the older one asked, feeling sorry.

"It was. And in particular, I don't understand why a man like yourself, who's constantly understating he hates his family, would want to protect it. Descendance... Yes, it _is_ an important point. But nobody should focus their lives on these. It's an important, happy event that just adds to all you already have, not the ultimate aim you can attain. And, look at your own family: does it look happy? Are you happy being surrounded by the father who insults you all day long? That brother who keeps talking about how successful he is in life? Oh, don't even try and make me think it has no impact on your life. Your face says it all when it happens."

Suddenly, UNDEAD's member stood up, and faced the man he was talking with:

"And how would you know? Why would you even care? Why would this be important? I was..."

...born for a reason? No. He was always reminded he was a mistake, he was always told how much of a failure he was, how he shouldn't have been born and they should have stopped after his sister, because himself wasn't worth anything, and because he was the one who killed his mother. Not that he had ever wanted to, actually. He hadn't even got the chance to know her. But she looked so kind, on the pictures he had seen... The pictures he would never be on.

"Is it why you are having difficulties accepting it?" Souma gently asked. "Because your family's so bad you'd like to form a better one with the person you love?"

He wasn't able to answer, yet his head nodded by itself. _What? No! Stop it! Stupid head!_ Yet, it was true. He never had the chance to see what a real family was. And now, the world was shouting to him: "you'll never get to know it! Ever!"

"I'm sorry I'm the one who has to say that to an upperclassman, but I also don't want you to keep feeling lonely. But a happy family isn't necessarily a father, a mother, and their children. As long as you're happy with the person you love, then that's what a family is. ...At least, it is what I think it is."

He lowered his eyes, and nodded. Understood.

"Sorry.

\- You'd better be," his clubmate's voice, light and sounding disappointed, answered him.

He saw the man walk towards the tanks, checking the temperature of the water he had changed a little before, play with his turtle and feed him, and suddenly...

"Say," Souma started, his voice almost blank.

"Yes?"

He heard a deep breath being taken, and waited for his punishment.

"...Would you hate going out with a man that much?"

 

He didn't understand. Why was Souma asking this question? Why this one in particular, why had he sounded like he had almost said «me» though Kaoru was certain he said «a man»? He could almost _hear_ his own heart beat, and put his hands on it, to try and calm it down. Unfortunately, that had never been how you calmed a fast-beating heart. _Okay, breathe. What do I answer him? Do I ask him why he asked that? No, no, he'll wonder why I don't answer. Then what? «Why, do you wanna go out with me»? ...No, he could take it either as an invitation, or a provocation. Bad idea. What can I say?_

"I...Don't know?" Oh, right, the truth. The truth was a good, very good thing, sometimes, though he tended to forget how it worked. "If you'd asked me that a few days ago I would have answered you something like «but that's disgusting» or «what can two men do together? Play cards?» but right now, I just... Don't know anymore. How is it, to go out with a man?" he asked, curious about the question, because apparently he was surrounded with people who thought that was a super great thing.

Or maybe was it all just a complot so he'd admit he wasn't completely het. Dammit, Sakuma.

"I don't know either," Souma simply stated, still in front of Kamekichi's - no, Kamegorou's - tank.

"What? What do you mean, you don't know?

\- I mean I like men, but I never went out with one."

He was flabbergasted. How was that even possible? How could have Souma stayed single when he was litteraly surrounded by men with perfect faces who were all aiming to become stars? _Especially_ when one of those men had declared his love to him?!

"...Then why didn't you accept Adonis's invitation? You could have known...

\- Because I am _not_ in love with Lord Adonis!"

The blond was taken aback again. First, why was Souma so different than his usual self, and second, why had he used the words «in love» when nothing of the sort had even been mentionned?

"...Does that mean you're in love, but with someone else?"

No answer came, and that moment, He hoped he'd finally get to know what his clubmate was hiding - because he _was_ hiding something, the third-year student could swear it. Especially when he avoided his eyes that much. But the only thing the younger did was to look for his katana, unsheathe it, and that very moment, Kaoru knew he had to run for his life, and thus started to run to the club door.

"You disgrace! Stop asking questions you don't even want to know the answer to!"

He managed to escape the club in time, and firmly closed the door so he could get out of it alive. Unfortunately, Souma was unexpectedly strong, and managed to open the door even with him guarding it with all his strength - moments like that reminded him he'd definitely need to go to practice, and also muscle up a little so he could fight back.

"I'm gonna cut you into pieces!"

Souma was smaller than him, but when he was enraged like that, he turned into a strong, terrible, terrifying demon that could break anything open, and that «anything» would probably be himself, very soon, if he didn't run fast enough.

"You're not gonna cut anyone into pieces, Souma," Keito replied, making his junior lower his sword.

Next to him was Tenshouin, his usual eerie smile on his lips. He didn't trust that man, he always looked like he was being envious of everything that surrounded him, and would be able to crush it all. He had already done it once, and Kaoru feared that he'd do it again anytime soon.

"Ah, Hakaze, you're here," the Emperor remarked, "I have a message for you from your leader."

He rolled his eyes. Couldn't Sakuma just send a text, like any normal person? Not that he was surrounded by the most normal people, especially when two of them weren't able to use a mobile phone, but Sakuma was able to at least send messages. Also, why would he send his message through Tenshouin-mobile?

"What does it say?

\- Something among the lines of «If you don't come to practice tomorrow as promised, I'll go look for Kanzaki myself and have him cut your head off. I'm sure he'll be happy to do so,» if I remember well."

He sighed. So now, Souma was used as a menace against him? What world did he live in? Jaded, he looked into Tenshouin's eyes, answering:

"Tell him I never intended not to come, I made a promise, after all. And that I already had my dose of Souma wanting to kill me for the week."

The Emperor nodded, and took advantage of the situation to escape from Keito and run away ; probably so he could spend time with Sakuma without his personnal bodyguard watching his every moves. That probably was tiring as hell, yet Kaoru couldn't help but find that attitude cute. He'd like to have someone who'd escape his duties so he could go and meet him... Just like himself tended to escape _all_ of his duties by going out with girls he barely knew. Was he already the person he needed?

The thought made him laugh, but still, he wasn't sure he was good example. Yet, wondering what took Keito so long, why Souma hadn't just calmed down and gone home, he approached the two of them. He heard the words «love», «tell», and «not now», but he couldn't get anything clear out of it, and jsut shrugged. Maybe it was better if he just went home, but...

He sighed, and went away. He'd wait in the school gardens, for now, and see what he could do when the sun would set. He'd probably find a girl to spend the night with, though that day, the thought seemed not only completely out of place, but also absolutely not enjoyable. So, he let it go, and decided he'd just wander in town, maybe he'd find something interesting to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Kaoru, I love you ♥  
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been long I knoooow, but HERE WE ARE! Have fun♪

"Disgrace! Wake up or I'll cut you in half, no matter what Lord Hasumi said," he heard.

The voice was tearing him aways from his dreams, and he moaned. He didn't want to wake up already, damn, he had just barely fallen asleep!

"Why aren't you home already?"

And, now, the inquiery. He hadn't even realised if he was supposed to know the voice - apparently yes, especially when it called him «disgrace» - that he was asked questions. He sat up on his bench, and looked at the other person.

"Souma?"

Without answering, his junior placed a combini bag into his hands.

"Uh, thank you, but what is it for?"

Somehow, Souma was clearly hiding his face from him, and the fact he was bad at it was so cute he'd jump in his arms, if he didn't know he risked death if he did that.

"...Seeing you sleeping here without even a jacket, I feared that you might get a cold, so I bought something for you to eat.

\- Thank you, Souma."

While he started eating, the smaller one sat next to him, peeking all around them. The place wasn't the most beautiful one of the town, but yet it still was quite interesting, and lots of people were passing by.

"Sorry for earlier," he apologized.

"No, it's okay. I am the one who shouldn't get angry that easily. I'm quick to calm down, but I'm also quick to get irritated. Damn, how can you even stand me."

Just for the teasing, between two portions of the Katsudon Souma had brought him, he answered:

"I don't."

And, right after, before his junior could even start talking, he placed a piece of the fried pork in his clubmate's mouth. He knew Souma, at least, didn't need it, but he didn't need all this food, after all.

"Why were you sleeping on this bench? I know you don't like to go home, but...

\- My brother's getting married, this week-end. Everybody's rushing for the preparations, and they don't want to include me because I'd ruin it all. Every night, my brother reminds me to look correct for the wedding, and to «fucking cut this ugly hair for once». It's getting on my nerves, and I have enough to think about for them not to be on my back tonight."

The younger one smiled, but the only answer he gave Kaoru was:

"I like your hair, though."

Before placing a hand before his mouth, his cheeks red, as if he had said something stupid. And he probably though it was, because he told his senior to forget it. The thing was, there was no way he'd forget it, especially with the tone he had used.

"Thank you for what you told me yesterday.

\- That you were a disgrace?

\- Not that point in particular since you say it quite often, but all the other things. About feeling home and all. I haven't found my place, or my answer, yet, but I hope I'll get to find it.

\- You will. And whatever it is, you'll always find a familiar face to welcome you there.

\- You're really becoming weird.

\- Maybe I really am in love.

\- What?

\- What?

\- You're in love?"

Okay, didn't he have enough changes in his cardiac rhythm over the past two days? Because he didn't like that he heart was, once again, suddenly beating faster, but this time, out of fear, angst, and jealousy. _Maybe he's in love. Ha. That's my luck for you. I could have my chance, but someone else has stolen his heart._

"I... didn't mean to say it out loud. I'm sorry. I'll just go home. See you... Well, whenever you come at the club. If you do.

\- I will. I promised, remember?

\- I know you."

Yeah, Souma knew him quite well, better than he'd have ever thought, but that one hurt quite a lot. _I know myself, too, and I know I_ need _to find my answer. I'll prove it. I'll prove to anyone that I don't need of their approval._ He erased the tears that had been falling down his cheeks, and bid the second-year student goodbye, before going back home. He could already hear the shouts, the questions he'd never answer, the «you're a disgrace»s. It made him chuckle. _As if I didn't know it. As if I didn't hear it often enough._ But, for some reason, it sounded more like a friendly nickname in Souma's mouth. Or maybe he had really fallen in love with that man, without realizing it at all in spite of all of Sakuma's efforts.

_Shit_.

It took him two weeks and a half before he finally decided on going to all practices, and going to the club when he didn't have them. The change had seemed a little strange at first, but soon, he felt he was singing better, dancing more smoothly, understanding the band's dynamic better. Now, they had a chance to win against Akatsuki, next time. If they put a little more effort into it, they probably could even make it against fine. And oh how much he wanted to kick the Empreror's ass once and for all. Sakuma could always make it up later.

"Kaoru," the leader's voice surprised him, and he realized Koga and Adonis both had disappeared.

Adonis had started spending time with Souma again, and he couldn't help but feel his heart squeeze every time he knew they were together. What if Souma had changed his mind. What if, in the end, it was Adonis he had fallen in love with. What if...

"Kaoru ! Are you listening to me?"

He shook his head, gettinf rid of his painful thoughts.

"Uh, sorry. You were saying?

\- I was asking you if you were alright.

\- Of course I am. Don't I look like it?

\- You don't. And you give nasty looks to Adonis. What's happening, he has stolen your princess?

\- He hasn't," Kaoru sighed, avoiding to add the word «yet», even though he perfectly remembered what Souma had said.

"And you haven't declared yet?

\- I haven't.

\- Why?

\- Because I'm an idiot."

The leader smiled, adding to the guilt.

"That's no news to anyone. Why are you making both of you suffer like that? You know, it's no different from all your dates - except you have real feelings for him. And I have my reasons to believe he, too, does have feelings for you too."

He rolled his eyes, changing back into his school uniform. They were to have a friendly live against Knights the next week, and though he knew Sakuma wanted to be the best face to his brother in the hope the latter would talk to him again, himself needed some rest, even if he had to stay at Koga's for that - he had been doing that for the past week, just so he could get some sleep.

"And how would you know that?

\- Because in case you forgot, my boyfriend's best friend is your lover's band's leader."

He tried to follow the path, because that made a lot of relationships, yet a single word made him freeze.

"Your «boyfriend»?

\- Yes. You know, Eichi. Have you forgotten already?

\- Oh. So you call him you boyfriend.

\- Well, that's what we are. Boyfriends. Lovers. A couple. Lovey-dovey and even cheesy.

\- Oh. So you're not just fuck-buddies.

\- Of course not. Things like that always get a bad ending anyway. ...Wait. Are you _that_ ignorant on homosexual relationships?"

Kaoru, agape, nodded.

"It appears that I am."

Sakuma blinked, but looked straight into his eyes, as if he was looking for something. Unfortunately, except genuine surprise, he wouldn't find anything. Undead's leader seemed so astonished he whispered:

"Is your family _that_ bad with relationships?"

Kaoru nodded, knowing his way of thinking was probably due to the fact he had been told his whole life long that he was useless and that fags were not only disgusting, but also _unnatural_ , and that it had something to do with the fact that some trauma happened when these people were younger. To be honest, he had been shocked, at first, to learn that his leader liked men, though he had learnt not to care too much about it. That probably was how he had accepted so easily the things Souma had told him, but what about _himself_?

"No wonder you're unable to accept yourself," Sakuma sighed, before ruffling through his own hair. "As long as you're willing to learn, it's okay, though," the older one smiled, before explaining: "See, a relationship between two men is like... Exactly the same thing as with a man and a woman. You do things together. You go to the cinema, eat at the restaurant, or together at home, you just like spending time together. Of course, there's sex, too, but it's not very different from any other couple. No exceptionnaly more, not exceptionally less, it just depends on the couples, on the people."

Kaoru nodded. That was a lot of information, but he was starting to get used to people giving him a shitload of informations at once.

"So you go out? And, people, in public, don't they react?"

Sakuma raised an eyebrow, taking his bag to let him know they could continue their conversation while walking. So, he took his, and both of them started leaving school.

"We're in Japan, Kaoru. Even if people cared they wouldn't say it to our faces. So just to annoy these people, I like being cheesy in public.

\- You really don't want to get a good job, do you.

\- I already have a good job. I won't stop it after I leave this place, you know. And I really think you shouldn't either, to be honest."

Following his senior's steps, he lowered his head.

"It's not like I really want to stop, actually.

\- I know. Anyway, just so you know, a relationship is a relationship, and all - let's just say most, actually - people are humans. What's important is : don't make him wait for too long. If you do, he'll go away, like any of your girls. Except this time it'll hurt you harder than you'd ever think it could."

The smile on Sakuma's face made him think he had lived the thing, though that probably had happened in the past. He didn't dare asking, and they fell silent until they reached the exterior.

"Oh, look who's here. You should probably check your phone for messages," his leader mocked.

"He doesn't know how to use it.

\- Well, that's a great occasion to teach him. See you tomorrow!"

On those words, his senior left, gleefuly walking towards his younger brother, who was on his way home. Poor Ritsu wouldn't get a single walk by himself, it seemed. He smiled, and walked towards Souma. Once he was behind his clubmate, he placed his hands on his eyes, asking:

"Who is it?

\- Disgrace, why are you so late?

\- Oh, so today's a _disgrace_ day.

\- I sent you messages, but you didn't answer them."

He blinked, and looked for his phone in his bag. When he checked it, there actually were messages. Badly written, but still messages. He laughed at the "Ehrn.Sre.yuo.grttinh.our.od.thiss.plqce?", and apologized.

"Sorry. I was speaking about serious things with Sakuma, and didn't get to see them. You're getting better at sending messages, though they could get a little amelioration."

His junior's cheeks reddened, and he avoided Kaoru's eyes, sounding a little bit embarrassed:

"Lord Hasumi's teaching me, but I'm still not very good at it. I'm sure you can't even read it.

\- Let's see. «Ehrn» must be something like, uh... When? «sre», you tried to write «are» I guess. And looking at the other words, I believe that's a «When are you getting out of this place», am I right?"

The purple-haired student nodded, and he could see the corner of a smile.

"Are you doing all this for me?" he gently teased, and Souma's face became even more red (was that even possible?!)

"Shut up."

He smiled, and took the younger one's hand. He didn't really know why he was doing that (or rather, he knew it very well, but couldn't bring himself to voice it), yet the feeling was so good he didn't want to let go. And then, he proceeded to drag Souma out of the school, towards the places he liked the most.

"W-wait! Where are we going?!"

A smile on his lips, Kaoru asked:

"Do you like sweet things?"

And he could swear Akatsuki's center was on the verge of exploding, according to the color of his face. He probably wasn't expecting this at all, and, to be honest, Kaoru himself hadn't been. He had just wanted to not go home, yet not going home because he was with Souma sounded like a better plan.

"I do. Don't think it's-

\- I know the perfect place."

So, together, they walked towards a café. It was a very small place, and it seemed hidden between all the high buildings all around it. But that place, that very small place, was his favorite. He sat with Souma, at his usual table, and the tennant came to their table to give them menus, looking strangely at Souma. He looked about to say something, but the man turned towards Kaoru, and told him:

"It's rare not to see you alone."

An apologetic smile on his lips, he answered:

"Well, sometimes, changes are a good thing.

\- Haha ! You're right, my boy. You already know what you want, I guess?

\- I do, but my friend here hasn't chosen yet."

The man nodded, and told the second-year student his speciality was the black forest cake, showing the picture to Souma, on the menu. The young man seemed ready to devour it, and, with a laugh, the tennant noted that on his paper, before asking Kaoru.

"You're taking the same as usual, aren't you?

\- Nope. As I said, changes can be good, and I want to taste the cinnamon apple cheesecake.

\- Understood," he said, before looking for the cakes, apparently freshly baked since only one or two parts had been taken from them.

Something seemed to be bothering the younger one, but he stayed silent. What was happening, this time...?

"Is something the matter?" the blond dared asking, ready to fight against anything.

The good part was that Souma couldn't try and cut him, since they were in a place that didn't allow too much movement.

"Actually, yes," the younger blushed, looking away. "Is it... I mean, are you okay with me tasting your cake? You can taste mine, too, in exchange."

Though he was surprised the swordsman didn't say anything about the tennant's words from earlier, somehow, he found the question very cute, and nodded.

"Of course you can," he accepted, keeping for himself that he knew the black forest cake's taste by heart, since it was what he usually took.

As soon as they were served, Kaoru cut a part of his cake with his fork, and gave it to his clubmate ; he had the intention of putting it in his plate, but ended, he didn't understand how, feeding him the part. It was soon in the younger one's stomach, and Souma seemed very content with it, which made Kaoru's heart dance. He wanted to ask it to calm down, because he didn't need it to do that - it was already excited enough at the mere thought of _Souma himself_ , no need to add to the weird feeling.

He found himself very surprised when the latter gave him a part of his own cake the same way, but didn't refuse it. He had wanted to, _because why would a man feed me? What am I, a girl_? and that trail of thoughts, added to what Sakuma had told him earlier, shocked him. Yeah. Maybe he had been raised in the wrong family. He tried to forget how much he was constantly angry with himself, and silently continued to eat his cake. _That's usually the moment I have girls talk about them so I can get to know them better, but I already know him... What am I even supposed to say?_

"Say," the second-year student hesitated.

"Yes?

\- Why did you bring me here?"

He blinked. Why had he brought Souma here. Yeah. Good question. Why.

"Apparently you don't even bring your girlfriends here. So, why me? Why now?"

Staying agape, mouth open and prone to eat flies, Kaoru just looked at his junior. Why. Why. Why. Why did he need a reason anyway.

"I... Don't know? I just... Like this place, and thought you'd like it too.

\- Were you going to come here in the first place, with or without me?

\- I don't think so? Honestly, I didn't even know where I was going in the first place before seeing you at the school's entrance. I was just going to wander in town and end up anywhere that could keep me away from home."

The younger one frowned, and seemed to get lost in his own mind. He was clearly thinking about something, and probably wondering if he was doing the write thing. Kaoru feared that he was thinking about atoning for his future sins with seppuku - suddenly, the frown became more intense - before probably remembering Kaoru had told him not to want to die because it was creepy. Or maybe, he was just trying to figure out how someone could not want to go home _that_ bad. Or... _I should stop thinking about all of this, I'm only torturing myself_ , he sighed.

"L...Kaoru, would you agree to come to my house?

\- That fast?"

He hadn't even controlled himself when he had pronounced those words, and he could feel Souma's «I'm gonna cut you so quickly you'll be dead before you understand what's happening» look on him.

"I'm sorry!" he apologized, while sliding under the table, terrified of what could happen to him next.

"I meant spending the-- ugh," the younger one sighed. "I can't formulate it in a way that you're not gonna change the meaning to. But. I just want you to spend one night in a family that's not yours, for once," he explained.

And that was surprising. Because nobody had ever suggested it that way. Of course, he had slept at his friends' houses, for one reason or another, but never had he done it for _that reason in particular_. Never had ever someone suggested they'd pull him away from his family, even if it was just for one evening.

"I'll need to talk to my parents about it first, but... I'd like to offer you a safe place. I can't even believe your own unit members never offered to do so in the first place. With all due respect, that's not very kind from them."

He felt like he was looking at his junior as if he was an alien, but a few seconds after, he was laughing out loud.

"Well, UNDEAD's members aren't exactly the most normal people in the first place. And about kindness...

\- Lord Adonis is kind.

\- Yeah, but why would he take care of a riv—"

He stopped himself. He had been on the verge of saying «rival» hadn't he? Oh fuck. _Shut the hell up, Kaoru, you're going too far._ He coughed, to hide what he was saying, and looked a little bit away.

"Anyway... Thank you for the invitation. If it's okay with your family, then I'd gladly accept it."

The smile on Souma's face looked like a child's, and it amused him. His clubmate usually had such a serious, adult look on his face, but whenever something made him happy, he suddenly looked like a child, and that was too cute. He hadn't got to see that face very often, to be honest, but he was discovering it, lately, and he liked it a lot.

"You look so different," he couldn't help but say, his face resting in his hands, while he was watching Souma eat.

His spoon in his mouth, the latter looked at him, cheeks red, eyes wide open. _Yep, like a child_ , the thing made him laugh, and himself continued eating his cake. He had made a good choice, not eating chocolate, for once, felt good. Also, it really did go well with the season ; the leaves had started turning red, in spite of the current warmth, and soon rain would start falling, and the weather would start getting colder.

"And, how different do I look?

\- Beautiful. Cute. Happy. You always look like something's upsetting you. Suddenly you're looking like a happy child who's having fun. That's..." Was he even allowed to say that? "Cute."

He heard a mumbled «Imnotcute» that made him laugh, and decided to stop looking only at Souma. It probably was a little creepy, actually. But yet, it was hard not to look at his friend.

Both of them finished their cakes, and, before going, Kaoru insisted on paying for both of them, saying it was his duty as a senior to pay for his junior, keeping for him the fact he was so happy he had managed to make Souma happy that he'd have paid for any crazy thing the second year student would have wanted. _Any_ thing that could make him happy. Just before he left, the tennant stopped him:

"If you had told me she was your date, I'd have offered a tea with the cake!

\- He's a «he»," he started. "And, thanks, but officially, that wasn't a date. I'll tell you if it ever becomes one.

\- What?

\- Thanks for today."

Smiling, he finally went next to his unofficial date, wondering what to do next - but Souma was on the phone, and he was already asking his parents about inviting Kaoru. Wait, what? That night? That _precise_ night?! He wasn't ready for this! And what would Souma's parents say if they saw his attitude towards their son? Because it definitely wasn't just a friendly one, was it? _Waitwaitwait_!

"They said it's okay, so we can either go home now, and spend a little more time in town, as long as we're in time for dinner."

He found himself in an impass. He had already accepted the invitation, so he couldn't go back anymore, could he? He wanted to slam his head against a wall. He wasn't ready for that...

"Thank them for me," he still answered, not very sure if he was thankful that it was happening so quickly. "Are you okay with going to the game center?

\- I'm very bad at video games. Technology isn't my thing...

\- I'm not very good either, but I can teach you. You'll get better step by step," he explained, and he probably was convincing enough, because Souma was smiling, and he accepted the invitation.

After spending a good two hours in the game center - Kaoru had had the chance to be the one taking his junior's hands in his so he could show him how to tap on the buttons, and for a second, Souma had leaned against him, feeling, it seemed, a little less tense - Souma had declared it was time to go home, before his mom started preparing dinner. This was weird for Kaoru, because in his house, you never brought someone home _befor_  the dinner was almost ready. But whatever, they all had different families, didn't they.

So they took the subway, and went to the Kanzaki domain. As the blond had expected it to be, it was a large, traditionnal mansion. The kind of houses you barely saw anymore in towns, yet this was was still here, and it felt exactly as if he was in a temple, or a sanctuary : like he was in another world.

He saw the dojo, far in the garden, but he had no intention to step a foot in it. Instead, both of them walked up the staired to the entrance, and got rid of their shoes when they entered the house. Unexpectedly, the interior, though it _did_ look very traditionnal, was more modern than he thought, and he somehow felt reassured he wouldn't have to sit on his knees all night long.

"Ah, Souma, welcome home!" his friend's mother saluted, before she saw him. "Oh, you must be Souma's friend, Hakaze, is that right?"

He bowed as low as possible, keeping his surprise for himself - he had expected her to call him «the disgrace», or something like that, but she only sounded as if they were still both children - and thanked her for letting him enter the house.

"No, no, it's nothing. My son always makes things appear as if it was a very important matter, but he always exaggerates everything. Maybe except one thing," she added, and he was curious. What was she talking about?

"Mother!" Souma reminded her, and she replied:

"Yes, yes, I know. Would the two of you be kind enough to wash your hands and help me cook?"

...Help her cook? Wait wait wait. That wasn't in the contract, was it? He hadn't signed for this, had he?

"Uhm, I'm sorry, madam, but I only know how to cook simple things, and I'm not very good at it in the first place," he explained, hoping he'd get to escape from it.

"It's okay," she replied with such a gentle voice he knew he was done for. "I'll explain you every step, and Souma will help you."

The second-year student nodded in agreement, with such a serious look Kaoru knew _exactly_ what it meant.

"Don't tell me. This is...

\- Part of my training, yes."

As they started preparing the meal, the blond following his clubmate's mother's instructions, she approached him, and whispered:

"Actually, it's not really part of his training. But if we tell him, he questions it and refuses to do it. I hope you are ready to deal with his character, because he can be very dense, sometimes."

The thing made him chuckle, and he thought about how they were together, at school. Yeah, maybe it would be a little... Fun.

"To be honest," Kaoru explained, making sure Souma wouldn't be able to hear him, "he tries to cut me with his katana at least twice a week. Though lately he's calming down a little, I think I've only be menaced once, this week."

The middle-aged woman giggled, and helped him hold his knife in a better way.

"You're gonna cut one of your fingers if you do it like that." She took his hand and placed it correctly: "This is how your hand must be positionned. Then, you cut in one time, firmly."

So he tried, and smiled when he was encouraged.

"Yes, exactly like that! You're quick to learn, my boy."

He had always known that point, to be honest, but it was the first time he had ever heard it be praised. His father used it as an excuse for him to get into an economics university the next year, while himself was ready to fail his third year (even though he had good marks) just so he could escape the university and spend one more year in this school. He'd keep UNDEAD alive for one more year, even if it would be without Sakuma, and, who knew, maybe a new member or two, and spend his third year with Souma... He sighed, and focused on his work.

_Anyway, if I re-took my third year, he'd probably cut me down before I can even finish telling him. Bad idea. Wait, why am I even thinking of us spending our third year together?_

He kept cutting, but suddenly realized he wasn't cutting anything at all, except himself if he kept going, and, confused, he asked what he should do now. So, under missus Kanzaki's instructions, he continued preparing the dish. When the three of them were over, the petite woman went and look for her husband in the dojo, leaving the two teenagers alone, together.

Or so he thought, because, probably smelling food, a small, young boy suddenly arrived in the kitchen. Kaoru was more than surprised, because he hadn't been expecting the boy, but his junior smiled and saluted the boy, telling him he'd make the introductions.

"Ryouta, this is Lord Hakaze Kaoru, my senior in school. Kaoru, this is my little brother, Ryouta."

The young boy bowed, his gaze not leaving him even for a mere second. Yes, he knew, he looked very different from Adonis, and yes, he had blond hair, and yes, that wasn't common.

"Are you big brother's uh..." he looked towards his brother, and Kaoru felt his heart beat faster. What was this child gonna say? Friend? Somehing else? "Ah! «Disgrace»?"

_Disgrace. Of course. Why didn't I think about it when out of the four people who call me like that, Souma's the one who uses it the most._

"Unfortunately, yes, I am your big brother's «disgrace». I'm sorry for this."

_I'm sorry that wherever I go people end up calling me that._

"Ah!" the boy hid behind his brother's back, and he saw the older of the brothers become suddenly very pale. Oh, had he said something about Kaoru to his brother? "I'm... Happy to meet you! Souma likes you very much!"

Hiding behind his own hands, Souma didn't confirm or deny the sentence ; but he probably would rather have his brother not say that, huh... That was why he liked younger brothers and sisters. They were always telling the truth. That was how he had learn some of his former dates were dating him only to see if he was an asshole, or for him to spend money in their place, or just because they thought that, as an idol, he could become famous and they'd took advantage of it. But this little one, there... Had said a truth that, though he could have guessed it by himself, he was happy to hear.

"Oh, really?

\- Stoppit," Akatsuki's singer begged, still hidden behind his hands.

"Yes! Big brother said even though he called you a bad name, he never really wanted to cut you in halves, and that it was a good way to hide his feelings!

\- Ryouta, please stop!" Souma begged again, and his little brother stopped hiding, to look at him.

"Huh, why?" he asked, so innocently Kaoru even wondered if that was possible.

"Because these are things I wanted to say myself," he gently explained, rubbing the little one's head. "Well, now he knows, anyway...

\- Oh. Was it bad for me to say it?

\- Let's say that next time, you can ask me if you can tell him that kind of things first."

The boy nodded, before asking:

"Can I tell him what you told me yesterday night?

\- NO! You can't..." he seemed about to break in pieces, and Kaoru started to get worried. "This is something I am the one to tell him, too."

The boy nodded, and started putting the plates on the dining room's table, determined to help. Kaoru noted he was only taking the cold ones, so he wouldn't get burned.

"He's a good kid," the senior said, "though he does talk quite a lot, doesn't he," he teased, and only got a "Shut up," and a fake punch in the stomach. "Shouldn't we help him, though?"

Souma nodded, and both of them brought the hot plates on the table, carefully. The younger boy sat on his chair, while the other two were placing the bowls, the chopsticks, and the glasses. Souma also went and filled a carafe with water, before he took out a soda bottle for his brother and the two of them, and a sake one for his parents.

When the said parents entered the dining room, Kaoru bowed as low as possible, trying to stay calm in front of his clubmate's father. The man had an impressive aura, and Kaoru couldn't help but feel small, next to him. He had the impression he'd have to be careful about the words he'd use, and didn't dare saying one. Souma thus introduced him to his father, before Ryouta started saying he was his brother's disgrace. He bit his lip, trying not to sigh, but the estranged look he was given surprised him, and he heard the man's voice for the first time.

"Oh, so you are the famous Hakaze," he stated, his voice as deep as the blond had imagined it.

He'd rather not hear that man shout after him for one reason or another.

"Pardon me, but «famous»? I'm just one of Souma's schoolmate."

The man smiled, and, accompanying his wife, he walked towards the table, before inviting the teenagers to do so.

"Souma talks about you a lot, I don't think he's even really aware of it."

He could feel his clubmate drown in shame next to him, and wanted to comfort him, but he wasn't sure physical contact was a thing in the family, and didn't dare trying.

"Please don't listen to him," he heard the second year student whisper while he was slowly sliding under the table, until you could only see his shoulders.

But that was too much of an occasion, and even though he appreciated being in his presence, he couldn't help a:

"I'm honored, even though he probably presented me as the worst living being on this planet, at least he talked about me."

The tuck on his shirt was so strong he thought Souma wanted him to drown, too, but Kaoru was having way too much fun.

"Do you want me to die?" the younger one asked, still in a whisper he probably was the only one to hear.

He didn't answer, and waited for his friend's parents' reaction, but they looked at each other, a smile on their lips, before turning towards Kaoru.

"Actually," and that single word, from such a deep voice, sounded like he was going to face his death, "It is never as such, that he talks about you. He does use the word «disgrace» a lot, but if you listen carefully, you'll hear he says it with a kind of tenderness. Souma's someone caring, and he cares about you a lot."

The sentence left him agape. What. So Souma not only talking about him a lot, at home, but he was talking about him in a _good_ way? That was new! Very new. At least to him, because maybe, just maybe, the world already knew what he didn't (want to) know yet.

"I'm... Surprised, to be honest," he managed to answer. "If there is one thing nobody ever does about me, it's being tender."

Yet, the purple-haired student, lately, had accepted showing him things he had never wanted to learn, before. He had told him the things nobody had ever bothered transmitting him. He had been kind, and comprehensive. From the very beginning. It felt weird.

"Are you and big brother getting married?" Ryouta asked, just before he asked his mother if she could give him the water carafe.

Suddenly, Souma just disappeared, and, if he could have done so, he would have, too. Because him and Souma, married? In his wildest fantasies - even the ones he had before he understood he had any kind of feelings for that guy - they had never been more than lovers. So married?

"Haha," he tried to regain composure, "but two men can't marry...

\- Why can't they?"

_Oh so_ that _'s what it is to have younger siblings,_ he realized, since being the said younger sibling didn't help understanding your elders as much.

"Because they..." _«shouldn't get married, it's against the natural order of the world, it's wrong, if people like the same sex, then it's because they had a trauma when they were young»_ , all the things his family had been telling him for years came to his mind, and, comparing those to how he felt just being sat next to Souma, he realized how wrong they were.

"Because Japan has said that you can't marry a man if you're a man," the mother explained, kindly, and _oh so simply_.

"And can you marry a woman if you're a woman?

\- Neither, darling," she told him, while serving everybody a portion of each plate.

"Why?"

She sighed, whispering something among the lines of «why is «why» every child's favorite word», before answering.

"Because some people think that because men like women, and women like men, it's like that for everyone, and that men can't like men, and women can't like women.

\- This is dumb," the child replied, playing with his soup while his brother seemed to be magically reappearing as his plates were being filled with food. "In my class, Minami likes Sunako, and they said they want to get married when they're adults."

Both his parents looked at each other, their mouths forming perfect "o"'s.

"Well, maybe, if they are lucky, they can get the chance to get married," Souma's mother said. "And maybe your brother can get married, too."

The said brother suddenly became so red Kaoru felt like he was going to explode, and suddenly, not only was the scene impressive, it was also very embarrassing, considering the motherly look the woman was addressing him. He had never thought about wedding. Well, he had, but because he was forced to. But never had he imagined that two men could marry each other, less that he and Souma could be the ones marrying each other. He breathed in, out, and in again. Was that what it was to have a mother?

"Isn't it a little early, though, to speak about marriage? Souma's still in his second year of high school. Also, I don't think the things will change that fast," the blond admitted, hoping it'd help.

And apparently, it did, even just a little, because his clubmate didn't look on the verge of exploding anymore. Souma wasn't completely calmed down, though, and his cheeks were still red. Yet, it was still better than having him want to hide. As if it hadn't happened already, that evening.

"Yes, it is way too early. Besides, no matter what happens around us, I can not get married before my training is over. And, if possible, not before I finish my studies in University."

_Oh, wow. So, he has plans to go to a university. What plans do I have already? Ah, yes, not going home tomorrow night. I'm so pityful._

"And you, Kaoru, what do you think about it?"

_What?_

He looked at the man who was facing him, and, once again, before his impressive stature, he felt like he couldn't lie even a little. What did he think about it, huh? He wasn't sure anymore.

"To be honest, lately, my thoughts on the matter are being constantly questioned. I used to believe that gays weren't a natural thing. That everybody was supposed to get married with someone from the opposite sex, and have at least one child, and form the perfect family. Yet I'm being proved that things are very different, in real life."

A little nervous, he glanced at his junior, who smiled at him. _Am I dreaming or does he look relieved?_ Anyway, he couldn't help but feel like he risked his life with each words he was saying. Yet, he turned towards Ryouta, smiled at the boy, and told him:

"I hope Minami and Sunako can get married when they grow up."

And the silence fell all around him. For three seconds, before the conversation was back to normal, and they talked about lots of things, like how him and Souma had met, how they had had conflicted relationships in the past, how he was a third year student while his friend was one year younger, how his life was back at the flat he was fleeing from. They told him to make himself at home there, and that they would always have a place for him if he needed one. The thing made him very happy, and he thanked them from the bottom of his heart, trying to ignore all the not-very-subtly implied things in their sentences.

Yet, somehow, he had the feeling that was the family he had always wanted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

After dinner, he offered his help to do the dishes, but his schoolmate's mother told him it'd be better if he just spent the night with Souma, and didn't let him touch a single plate. So, he followed the purple-haired man till his room, and was a bit surprised when he entered. He didn't really know what he had expected, but the walls were decorated with voice actors' pictures, among classical Japanese accessories. He even had a corner where he could record his voice, and if the men on the walls were actually singers, he'd have thought it was his personal studio for Akatsuki's songs.

"So, this is who you really are, huh..." Kaoru whispered, so low he wondered if Souma had heard it.

His parents had prepared him a futon - and for a futon, it looked very comfortable - and the sheets were accorded to the bed's : a dark red tone with traditional, sober prints. Actually, except for the number of voice actors' pictures on the wall, the room in itself was very sober. One place, though, seemed very empty.

"Did you plan to place something, there?"

Suddenly, a smile formed on the younger one's lips, and he looked at the empty place, explaining with glee:

"I plan on adopting a turtle, and this is the place where I'll put the tank."

_Oh, a turtle, why haven't I thought about that,_ he mentally laughed at himself. Because _of course_ , it would be for a turtle.

"When are you planning to adopt your turtle?"

Souma seemed to be dancing in place, and his voice was a little shaken by that fact when he answered:

"Either for Christmas, or during the spring break. It'll help me go through my hardships towards my third year in Yumenosaki."

He looked like a child when explaining this, and Kaoru wondered why himself couldn't get to be so honest, so natural. And, at the same time, he found Souma so beautiful he couldn't help looking at him, not able to speak at all. It was so weird. So different.

He used to date girls so he could feel a little less lonely, so they could cover him in presents he could feel pampered. He used to date women he never could bring himself to love just because something was missing in his life. But when he saw Souma...

When he saw Souma, everything was different.

He felt like he was... What was the word to describe such a feeling? Home? Maybe home, or something very close to it, actually. Him, the stray dog, had realized he had a «home». At least one. He had also kind of started liking going to practice, seeing how serious they were getting, and how they were working on their weak points. Sakuma really seemed to have taken his remark very deeply, at the Dream Festival, because he made them work on that _a lot_. He had let them know he wanted to beat _Fine_ , to show Eichi that even if he had become an idol, even if he was one of the best in his own school, he wasn't the most powerful.

Coming from the man's boyfriend, that was a little weird. But maybe, some things were better shown than explained. Maybe their couple wasn't the little paradise he was used to think about when he imagined them together. They were very discreet, and yet he had accidentally discovered they could be very noisy when they were sure nobody was around, but... Was there more? _There's probably more than meets the eye,_ he thought, _after all, that's what Sakuma was trying to explain me, earlier, I guess_.

And, somehow, just watching his junior looking so happy made him feel happy, too, and suddenly, he couldn't help but do one thing.

That was way purer, way more innocents than some of the thoughts that had started it all, way more simple than all the things he had thought about when Akatsuki was performing at the last Dream Festival.

Suddenly, he took Souma in his arms. He wasn't forcing the hug, and the younger one could escape it if he wanted to (and he probably would, that was why he was letting him do if he wanted), and rested his head on his shoulder. He was a little nervous, but felt way better when the second-year students' arms were placed around his waist, a hand touching his back. He didn't know what the younger one looked like at that precise second. He didn't know if it was important. But what he knew was important was that, in this embrace, so many things went away that he felt weak, very weak.

It was Souma who made him realize he had started crying. His breath had become more difficult, his voice didn't come out at all, or very deformed, and he hadn't felt the warm tears rolling on his cheeks. Not until a gentle hand came to take them away. And he understood: in this place, nobody was judging him for anything. For him being probably very obviously in love with their son, for him not having a girlfriend in a first place or just having the possibility to love men, for him to try and escape his home. He supposed that Souma had told them about his situation at home, because they had offered him to come anytime. He was just their son's friend, and according to his parents' looks, probably even a little more to their eyes.

For the first time, he had an idea of what a family looked like, and it felt so good, so relaxed that he cried all the tears he had. That probably was the reason he was sent here instead of being authorized to help with the dishes. And thus, he kept crying, until he had nothing anymore, and Souma let him do, gently, patiently, without saying a word. He felt the hug tighten a little, though, and the only words that were said - whispered - were:

"Do you want to lie on the bed? It'll be more comfortable."

To which he nodded in acceptance, letting his clubmate lead him to the bed, his eyes so filled with tears he couldn't see anymore. As soon as they arrived, both of them just laid on the bed, hugging, Kaoru crying everything he had. It seemed very long before he could manage to completely calm down, and he was in a very weird, dizzy state, able to think a little more clearly, but not as much as he would have like.

"Are you feeling a little better?"

He nodded, concentrating on the arabesques the younger's fingers were drawing on his back. It felt very good, very relaxing, and he liked the sensation a lot - if it were possible, he'd had asked Souma to keep doing it for hours.

"You seem way less tense," his junior smiled, still not letting him go - and even if he were, Kaoru wouldn't have gone anywhere.

"I'm sorry," he managed to gargle, "it's just... I've never felt like this, before. And I realized it was like I was missing something very, very important."

Souma nodded, and his eyes were so comprehensive, his touch so delicate, and they were so close... He wanted to thank him, but he wasn't sure his way of thanking him would be appreciated.

"I would like to do something, but I'm not sure you'll like it," he told, his eyes locked on the younger one's collarbone.

"What is it?"

He looked up, stopping on Souma's lips for a second, before meeting his eyes:

"Can I kiss you?"

That probably was unexpected, because the look on the other one's face was telling him he was flustered. That wasn't exactly what he had wanted to do, or to obtain, but he still hoped he would get an answer, be it positive or not. Souma seemed to think for a second, gulped, and approached him a little.

"I've never kissed anyone," he explained.

"If you don't want me to be your first, it's okay, don't worry."

But the chuckle that followed reassured him, a lot:

"No, you don't understand. I was saying I'm inexperienced. But your being my first is exactly what I want."

His heart was beating fast, and he wasn't sure he was hearing well. Because Souma, telling him he wanted him to be his first? That sounded like on of these dreams he was used to have before Sakuma voiced the fact he probably had some kind of feelings for the younger one.

"Is it?

\- Stop asking questions and kiss me, disgrace!"

So, without any further question, he kissed Souma's lips. And though he was really hesitant, because it was the first time he kissed a man - and he had a hard time telling himself it would be just like with women - it felt like a relief. The images of him admiring the singer from behind, the following hours and how difficult they had been, the struggle of the past days were suddenly relieved. He had understood. He had understood what he wanted, and though he was still a little lost with all the things around it, at least now he was sure of one thing: he wanted to keep kissing with Souma, to stay next to him, to see him smile first time in the morning. He wanted to spend more time with him, to just stay in his arms, because in a matter of days, it had become home to him.

When the kiss broke, they looked at each other, and he saw his junior's reddened cheeks. It was his first kiss, after all, and him, too, had been a little hesitant, and a little bit unsure of what he was doing, but it certainly did change something for him.

"So, how was your first kiss?" Kaoru asked, nervous, hoping Souma wouldn't have disliked it.

"It was weird... Different from what I expected. But good. Very good. Actually I'm not really sure I can put the right word on it..."

Kaoru was biting his lip, a little harder than he'd have wanted to, but he was at loss; he didn't really understand what it meant.

"Maybe if I got another one, it'd be easier," the younger student finally inquired, and the blond loudly sighed in relief.

So they kissed again, and it felt different already. Less hesitation from both of them, and maybe less stress, too. It was even better than the first time, and Kaoru wondered if it would get even better every time they'd kiss. Because if it did, then he'd probably want to kiss Souma all day long, until neither of them had any strength anymore. But for now, he needed to breathe.

"So, how were your first kisses with a man?" the purple-haired man asked, gently mocking him.

"Way better than expected," he replied, "I think I could totally get used to do it more often.

\- Good, because I plan on giving those to you quite often," Souma chuckled.

And that was when he realized. That was the second he realized the people around him had been right all along. That Sakuma had been encouraging him all along. He even wondered if his clubmate hadn't told his leader about it before himself had realized there was something.

"Mh, then I guess I can live with that," his heart's pounding had calmed down, and it seemed it, too, had realized this wasn't one of his dreams, that this time, it was real. "I'd probably live longer that way, actually."

Souma blinked, probably not understanding where he was going, so he explained:

"Because if you're busy kissing me you're not going to try and kill me."

The smile that met his eyes said a lot, and he started fearing for his life again.

"Do you really think I can't do both?

\- You never tried.

\- I could try right now.

\- I'm scared of you."

They both laughed, and even though the situation was very new, the third year student felt very comfortable with it all. As if it was the most natural thing ever. As if he was free. It was so different from home...

"I hope your parents aren't disappointed a disgrace stole their son's heart.

\- Come on, they basically pushed you in my bed, and by inviting you to come anytime, what they mean is «come live here»!"

The blond's mouth suddenly formed a perfect "o". He hadn't expected that. At all. So even his family was in it. Did the whole world know about Souma's feelings except him, until now? It was a little weird, though, but apparently everybody found it normal. So he smiled, and brushed away the younger's bangs.

"They did accept me quickly, for people who don't know me.

\- Well... I might probably spend a lot of time maybe speaking about, uh, you.

\- Do you love me _that_ much already?

\- Shut up. Also, they probably were a little bit disappointed I always brought Lord Adonis for dinner instead of you whom I spoke a lot about.

\- Yeah, why did you bring Adonis for dinner anyway?

\- Kaoru, he's my friend.

\- Wow...

\- What?"

He was so surprised. Until earlier, and even though it had been two weeks since the moment he had asked him to stop calling him «Lord Hakaze», it had been a really difficult thing to do for his junior, and yet...

"You called me by my name, without any hesitation."

Suddenly, Souma looked even more flustered, and wasn't able to say a word anymore. He was making sounds, but didn't seem to know how to start his sentence, until he finally managed to blurt out a:

"I trained a lot!"

_He trained a lot. He trained so he wouldn't call me «Lord Hakaze» anymore. Is this man even real, am I really holding him in my arms, do angels exist, because if they do I have one in my arms. Seriously, is he even real_.

He couldn't help but kiss him again, before asking something that had been bothering him since the moment they had talked together.

"I don't understand." The younger one lifted his gaze, clearly unsure of what to think. "Why do you do so much for me? Why are you making all these efforts, changing so much of your habits, _just for me_?"

Both of them fell silent, until Souma opened his eyes wide.

"I don't understand. Isn't it normal to just take your time and understand things, to try and help the person you love? Isn't it what you did, too?"

He was flabbergasted. Had he? Had he really changed that much? He felt like the only thing he had done was getting lost and try to find a way by touching walls. Of course his friends had taken his hand on a few meters, but it still felt like he had done random, not-like-him things and then tadah, he was right there.

"Did I?

\- You did. You stopped thinking liking men was disgusting. You said it yourself, you're questioning your own way of thinking. You listened to what I said, and look at you, so serious about your band you sometimes work on your weaknesses at the club. You even learnt how to take care of the plants and animals. Did you see how happy the Club President was?

\- He looks always the same to me, happy with his big, naive smile.

\- Well, his big, naive smile was even bigger and more naive when he saw you were keeping your promises, and were eager to learn. He told me he would like you to teach him how to surf.

\- He can't even swim...

\- I've been teaching him.

\- Oh. In the fountain?

\- He'd sink like a rock in a pool."

He wasn't able to stop his giggle, imagining how Kanata would do in a pool. But he was glad his friend wanted him to teach him something. It made him happy, even though he had originally entered the club because he had mistaken its concept, and thought it would be a good opportunity to meet girls.

"Oh.

\- Mh?

\- I was supposed to keep it secret until he knew how to swim. Can you try not to show him you know about it?"

And _he_ was the disgrace? The thought made him laugh, but he agreed on the thing, and told Souma that anyway he'd had more things to care about than telling Kanata he knew about that. They discussed a little more, agreeing on going to bed soon enough since they had had a very long day, but someone knocked on the door. So, letting go of each other, the two students sat on the bed, and Souma told the person they could come in.

Unexpectedly, it was Ryouta, who was holding a few books in his hands. Taking a quick glance at it, Kaoru saw it looked like Samurai stories only, and he laughed at how much the family seemed to like swordsmen. Souma got up, and joined his little brother.

"Is it time for you story?" he gently asked, smiling at the kid, who vigorously nodded in agreement.

"Can Kaoru read it to me?"

The young man blinked, and designated himself. What was happening?

"Me?

\- Yes, please!"

He smiled, and got up. It wasn't something he often told, but he liked children. He had even thought about teaching children how to surf, at a time, yet he still wasn't sure it would be a good idea. Maybe he'd have to think about it further, but for now, he had a story to read, and he wouldn't disappoint his lover's little brother.

"Okay, let's go, then."

He followed the young boy in his room, waving Souma goodbye, and let Ryouta put himself to bed. Once it was done, he made sure the child was correctly covered with the blankets, and asked:

"Okay, so which one do you want to hear?"

The child looked intensely at his books, eyebrows furrowed, and suddenly put them all aside.

"I want you to tell me a story of yours!" he happily said.

A story of his?! He didn't know how to tell stories of his own... Except maybe when he sang and danced. _Oh. Oh come on, Kaoru, you are_ living _a story worth telling_ , he scolded himself, and took a deep breath.

"Okay, so this is the story of the Swordsman and the Musician.

_"A long, long time ago, when samurai were important people who defended their villages, every night, a musician would play in the town's izakaya. Every night, people would cheer for him, ask him for songs, and every night, he would sing new songs, sometimes even dancing; and each and every of these songs was talking about love._

_"Every night, the same swordsman came to see him. He didn't drink a lot, he didn't eat that much, he didn't even say a word. But every night, he was there, and wouldn't look away from the musician, stars in his eyes, and a smile on his lips, just happy to listen to the musician's songs._

_"As the time passed, the swordsman started to eat and drink a little more. He kept away from the drunkards, but whenever he finished his plates, he asked for something new just so he could stay a little longer._

_"Behind the men of the village and their wives, sisters, cousins, he felt like he was invisible to the eyes of the musician. And the musician, every night, only sometimes glanced at him, while he was telling all the women how beautiful they were, and speaking only to them._

_"But after some time seeing always the same women, after they offered him presents because they liked him that much, he realized how lonely he was feeling. Because all these women had fallen under his charms, and told him they were in love with him, but he didn't love them back._

\- Not even one of them?" the child interrupted, and Kaoru smiled.

" _Not even one of them. Because you see, the musician didn't have a mom or a dad, and he didn't know what a mom was like. So, in women, he saw mamas, and you don't fall in love with your mama_."

Ryouta nodded, and asked:

"And thus, what happened?

\- _After some time, the musician managed to get an image of the swordsman who was always sitting in his corner. Before that, he couldn't see him, you know, because the other people were dancing in front of him, because they all wanted to participate, while the swordsman was so calm._

_"Soon, he even managed to see him correctly, and for a reason he didn't understand, he found that man so attractive, so beautiful, he was like a star in the dark, and who would avert their eyes from a star? So, one day, after he had finished singing, he looked for the swordsman, but the swordsman had already left._

_"After that, the man came a little less often to the Izakaya, though the musician kept playing every night. And the musician realized that when the swordsman wasn't here, he couldn't sing as good as the days he was there. And he thought he was getting sick. So for one week, instead of singing, he stayed home._

_"After that week, when he went, early, to the izakaya so he could prepare for his show, he found the swordsman waiting for him, in front of it, looking very worried. And, suddenly, the musician's heart started beating fast._

\- He was afraid?

\- _Terrified. Because he got the chance to speak with the swordsman, and while the swordsman was like a star, he didn't know how to speak with stars, you know? So when he arrived in front of the star, he stuttered a lot, just to tell him «hello». And the swordsman answered:_

_«Are you okay? You look pale.»_

_So the musician said he was okay, because right now he felt okay. But then, he asked:_

_«Why don't you come every night anymore?»_

_And the swordsman was very embarrassed when he said:_

_«Because I wasn't feeling very well.»_

_But that wasn't true, and the musician could hear it_.

\- How?

\- _Because he's a musician, and he can hear when people lie_.

\- Oh. So what did he do?

\- _The musician told the swordsman he knew it wasn't true, and asked for what really happened. But instead of answering, the swordsman asked a question:_

_«Do you believe in the love you sing about every night?»_

_So the musician, without even thinking about it, answered:_

_«Of course I do.»_

_But the swordsman wasn't satisfied, and he went away. The next day, he was waiting for the musician again, in front of the Izakaya, and asked the same question:_

_«Do you believe in the love you sing about every night?»_

_But the musician, at first a little surprised, answered the same thing as the day before, and, once again, the swordsman left. Every day, the same thing would happen, and every day, it took longer for the musician to answer. So, he started thinking about it._

_The seventeenth time the swordsman asked the question, the musician answered:_

_«I don't know. I don't know what love is.»_

_He was prepared for the swordsman to leave, but he didn't leave. Instead, he asked a new question :_

_«Are you sure about it?»_

_And the musician knew that if he said «yes», he would be lying, and the swordsman would leave. So, instead, he said:_

_«No, not really.»_

_And the swordsman smiled. That night, he came to see the musician's show, and that night, it was like all the men and women of the village didn't exist. He could only see the swordsman, and he understood. So, when he came the next day, before the swordsman could ask questions, he said:_

_«I think I know what love is. It is when you come to see me play and sing.»_

_And it was the right answer. Because the swordsman, too, knew that love was when he came to see the musician play and sing. After that, they lived together, and were happy forever. The End._ "

He breathed out, and looked at the child. He had hoped he would be asleep by the end of the story, but the kid had his eyes wide open, and he knew a new question was coming.

"Did they get married?"

Not asking why Ryouta was so focused on marriage (he thought they probably had talked about it in class, or it was the age at which they spoke about it, or maybe it was because he really wanted him and Souma to get married), he answered:

"They did. It was a beautiful wedding, and all the people in the village assisted to it, and they were happy for the two men."

It seemed to satisfy the child, because he replied with a whispered «great!» before tucking himself.

"Good night, Kaoru.

\- Good night, Ryouta."

He dared leaving a kiss on the child's forehead, and turned off the light.

"Isn't it a little early, to talk about wedding?" Souma's voice surprised him, and he smiled when he saw his junior waiting for him at the room's door.

"Tell that to your brother, he's the one insisting on that point."

The purple-haired boy answered him with a smile, and Kaoru left the room to join him.

"That was a cute story. Is it really how you see it?

\- In a way, yes. Though in the real life story I was helped by some of the villagers, and the village's ruled by an evil-doer."

The last sentence made Souma smile, and it made him happy. He loved when Souma smiled, because his heart suddenly felt warmer. And that was an awesome feeling. Together, they went back to the younger one's room, wanting to get ready to go to bed - except Kaoru didn't have anything prepared. Luckily, Souma lent him pajamas, and everything he needed to take a good shower.

Once they were both clean and ready to go to bed, Kaoru looked at the futon, on the ground, wondering. It would probably be better for them to sleep in separate bed, wouldn't it? After all, their story was just starting, and by experience, he knew parents were rarely fond of finding their children in the same bed as someone they barely knew.

Yet, without a warning, Souma folded the futon and placed it in a closet, muttering that he should have listened to his mother when she had told him it probably would be useless. _Wait what? He was the one to put the futon in place?_

"Your mother told you it would be useless...?

\- She did.

\- She knew?

\- I don't know how she found out, but yes, she knew. Or maybe she just guessed, I don't know. What I do know, though, is that when she told me it wasn't useful to put a futon, I thought she was just being jokingly mean to you."

_Oh._ His family probably wouldn't even have done half of what Souma's parents had done, and probably would never found out about them unless they were having sex in front of them - they were quite dense, to be honest, and they probably wouldn't even realize what it meant, or he would get thrown out of the house, which wouldn't be that bad either. Anyway, that wasn't a step to take now. He was already nervous enough sharing the bed with a man. _Not any man_ , he reminded himself, _Souma_. And that changed everything. He wouldn't share a bed with doggie, Adonis or the vampire. But this was different, and he needed to tell that to himself at least three or four times, before he thought:

_It's not like we're gonna have sex or anything. It's just spending the night in the same bed. It's not anyone, it's not even any of the girls you used to date. It's Souma._ He did let his host go to bed first, though, a little hesitant, but when he looked at him, smiling, Kaoru couldn't help but smile back and go to his sides. Alright, maybe it was just like any other relationship. But it did feel a little more precious than everything he had been through, and he couldn't really say why. Maybe there was no reason.

After all, it just felt that natural when took his junior in his arms, and Souma kissed him goodnight. Maybe, from now on, he'd have a very good reason to wake up in the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said once a week but motivation is back :D As always, thank you so much for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAM!  
> One (1) chapter of fluff for you (& also to make Kelly wait without exploding)

The smell of fresh food woke him up. It had been a while since he hadn't eaten something smelling this good (if he forgot about the night before) and he liked that a lot. It took him a moment before he remembered where he was, and especially with whom. He realized there was a weight against his chest, and saw Souma, peacefully sleeping. At first a little bewildered, he finally remembered everything that had happened the day before, and paused for a second, to register the fact that, no, it wasn't a dream, and yes, all of it was true.

He slipped his hand in his junior's hair. He looked so beautiful with his hair untied, and Kaoru felt blessed he got to see him like that. If he could, he'd sleep a little more, just to stay a little longer in this position. He really didn't want to go to school that morning, especially if it meant he had to go home on the evening. So he closed his eyes again, until he felt movement between his arms. A smile on his lips, he greeted his very dizzy looking junior with a kiss, that was quickly answered. Souma snuggled a little more against him, closing his eyes again, before saying:

"If this is a dream, let me dream a little longer."

Kaoru smiled, feeling happier than he should have, and whispered:

"This is not a dream, Souma. Or we are both dreaming."

A smile answered him, yet it took a couple more minutes before they looked at each other, to make sure it really wasn't a dream.

"Hello, then," the younger one told him, and he answered:

"Good morning."

Souma starting sitting up, his eyes still half-closed, and it made him think of a marmot, looking around itself so it could see what was all around. But, he guessed, what his junior was doing wasn't _looking_ around, but _smelling._ And he could totally understand, and his stomach proved it by gurgling noisily, which made the younger laugh.

"Understood, let's go eat," he said, and both of them got up and dressed so they could go and eat their breakfast.

They were greeted by Souma's parents, looking too adorable to be real. He thought his friend's father to be a very strict man, because of what his lover had told him about him, but still, that very strict man didn't seem that strict when it came to his son's relationships. The man interrupted his reading of the newspaper to greet the high-schooler, before checking the third empty chair.

"Ryouta's still not up?" he asked, and his wife answered almost immediately:

"I tried waking him up, but to no avail. He was peacefully sleeping, so I thought I could let him sleep a little more."

The father nodded, and went back to reading the news. Souma, as a very conscious big brother (something Kaoru wasn't really aware of until now), still turned on his feet, explaining:

"But it's already late, I don't want him to be late for school. I'm gonna wake him up.

\- Good luck," his parents wished him, before the mother smiled at Kaoru, showing him where he could sit.

So he did, unsure if it was okay to start eating, especially when everything seemed so beautifully organized. It was pure art, for him, and he really didn't want to break it. So he decided for another option: he took a picture of the plate, before looking towards the door his lover had gone through.

"You should eat, Kaoru. Don't worry for Souma, he'll finish it in time."

So he thanked her, and started eating. He wasn't very sure breakfasts were supposed to be that consistent, and yet, this one was the tastiest breakfast he had ever eaten. It was so good he wanted to take all his time to eat it.

"So, are you coming back tonight? We'll be pleased to have you home."

Trying not to choke on his food, the blond student took a whole minute to understand what he had been told. What?

"Am I?

\- Oh, if you want, of course. We're not forcing you on anything, but I think someone here would be happy to have you home."

He couldn't help blushing, and started praying for Souma to come back very soon, because he wasn't sure to be ready for such a discussion, especially at such an early hour. He still thought about it, because who wouldn't be in a loving home rather than in their own, cold and rejecting home? He shivered at the sole thought of the house he lived in, and closed his eyes.

"It would be a pleasure for me to come back anytime. Unfortunately, I have all my things at home, and I guess my father will end up angry sometime if he has no news from me."

He heard the newspaper being folded, and chopsticks being used. After a few seconds, Souma's father replied:

"We could accompany you to go and look for your things, and then come here. I heard your father's anger was never followed by relief. I don't understand how this is possible.

\- Well, I _am_ the one responsible for my mom's death," he sighed, hoping nobody would hear him.

Yet he wasn't as lucky as he had thought, that day, because his lover, sitting by his sides, immediately corrected him:

"You're not responsible for being given birth, nobody can be held responsible for what happened. Especially not for eighteen years."

His tone was a little harsh, but yet he recognized that very particular nuance in his voice, the one he had had when he had scolded him. And he understood; maybe he still had a few difficult steps to go through before feeling better. He shot an apologizing smile at his junior, who answered with a kiss on his cheek, before greeting the very sleepy Ryouta that had appeared in the room.

"Hello, darling," their mother greeted, too, covering her youngest son with kisses, that made him laugh.

"'Ello mama," he said, and Kaoru couldn't help but finding him adorable.

He wondered if Souma had been like that, too, when he was his age, and the thought made him grin ; because who would believe that the righteous, always straight-forward Souma Kanzaki would have been such a cute child? The thought probably was readable on his face, because he heard a:

"Ah, if only your brother were still like this," as the child kissed his mom on the cheek, too, "he was such an adorable child..."

So, a smile on his face, Kaoru turned towards the said big brother, who put a finger on his lips to prevent him from saying any word.

"Shut up, I know what you're thinking. And no, you're not watching pictures of me when I was a child. Never.

\- Ever?

\- ...Well maybe someday, but not now."

He chuckled, and continued eating his meal.

"Oh, right, Souma, we were asking your boyfriend if it would be okay to go and look for his things after school."

He heard his lover cough, trying to stay alive, and, biting his lips, waited for an answer. He didn't know if she had used the word «boyfriend» consciously (the answer was probably «yes»), but apparently it had its little effect.

_Wait. «Boyfriend». She said «boyfriend». As in «Souma's boyfriend». As in a couple. Lovers. What. How._ He had to remind himself the discussion he had had with his leader the day before, when he had been surprised that Sakuma used the word «boyfriend» to speak about Tenshouin. But in the end, it was just the same for him and Souma. He just hadn't thought of the word itself.

"I had understood you wanted him to live here, but are you sure about that?

\- Souma, you've been speaking about him for _months_. And from what I heard, I think that's not a situation one should stay in.

\- If I may, madam, I would just like to say it's not as terrible a situation as it sounds... I'm just a bad son."

The woman lifted an eyebrow, and looked at him. What he didn't see at first, was that the man was doing so, too, and he wanted to hide himself in a corner when he realized that Souma himself was watching him with a jaded look.

"I think you were just born in the wrong family, my boy," Souma's mother ended up telling him, "and that what you deserve and need is a loving house. Whatever you think, you don't seem like a bad boy."

He felt a little ashamed, and didn't dare telling her he'd love being pampered by a mother. After all, he had never had that chance, and though he feared he'd turn into a spoiled child, he sometimes dreamed he could just spend a nice moment with other people.

"Anyway, you think about it," the father told him while gathering the emptied breakfast plates, "and we'll be there whatever choice you make. I do think you'd better tell your father where you're going if you fear his anger that much, but if he has a problem with whatever choice you make, my boy, he'll have to face me."

He didn't really know if he was supposed to be thankful or scared, but judging by his lover's face, «scared» seemed a little safer. He did thank him, though, and answered he'd think about it during the day, but right now, not only was it too early in the morning, it also felt like it was a little too early at all to think about it. He was only discovering a lot of things about himself (and Souma, and himself _with_ Souma), and he wasn't sure staying in the house while they had only started their relationship was a good idea.

When they were on the way for school, after they had made sure Ryouta was at his and had joined his friends, Kaoru talked about it, because he didn't really know how to think about that. The younger one looked at the sky, seemingly thinking about it, too, before he told him:

"I know they sound a bit pressing, but don't worry, you have all the time in the world to think about it. I do fear, too, that it's a little early, I mean, if our relationship were to turn out badly, it would turn out to be a very uncomfortable situation. But they just want to help you feel better, that I can assure you.

\- When I hear them, it feels like my situation is hell itself... It _is_ a bad situation, but it's not like I was gonna die of that or something. It's not _that_ unbearable," he tried to explain, shrugging, his hands in his pockets.

"It sure _does_ sound unbearable, though. I don't even understand how you managed not running away. Honestly I was expecting you to say «yes» immediately so you could get out of that, and _then_ we'd have discussed if it was really a good idea, but..."

He lowered his head, trying to figure out what the best solution was. He wasn't sure what to do at all, and just wanted life to be okay. Just okay. And at school, and when he was with Souma, life was already even more than just «okay», and that made him smile. Maybe he just didn't _need_ to run away.

"Take your time to think about it, I'll think about it too, okay? We'll discuss their suggestion after classes."

He nodded, quietly thanking Souma for being so level-headed. After all, it was a big, big suggestion they had had towards him, and he feared that doing things too fast would be dangerous.

"You're right. For now let's just enjoy our time at school," Kaoru suggested, looking at the Yumenosaki campus they were arriving at.

He felt a little nervous: was it really okay if he kept Souma's hand in his until they had to go to their own homeroom? A little nervous, he fiddled with his junior's hand.

"Say?

\- Yes?

\- Is it okay letting the others know about us? I mean... Not hiding, like Sakuma and..."

He cut himself. If Sakuma and Tenshouin were hiding, it _was_ for people not to know about them, and he probably shouldn't tell his boyfriend about that.

"I'm the one who should ask you that question. Are you okay with people knowing about us? I know you're still uncomfortable with some points, and unfamiliar with others. So, do you want to hide, or not?"

He didn't know. He didn't know what to answer, because Souma didn't seem to care about what the others thought about that, yet himself was still uncomfortable with shattering his image of the Don Juan he had never really been. But yet, he wanted the world to know how happy he felt, now, and somehow, he just didn't want to let go of his junior's hand.

"It's not like Sakuma's little brother and Mao are hiding, right?" he tried to reassure himself, and saw a smile form on his boyfriend's lips.

"So you don't want to hide?

\- Part of me wants to hide, part of me just wants us to be us," he tried to explain, before telling himself it sounded very messy.

"If you need us to hide for a while, it's okay, you know? I want you to take the time you need to get accustomed.

\- I don't know. I don't know what's best.

\- What do your instincts say?

\- I don't want to let go of your hands and I want to hug you.

\- You have your answer, then," he simply said, smiling.

And oh damn how much his smile made everything seem better. Oh damn how he couldn't help but smile himself whenever Souma smiled. Oh how much he felt better that very second. If only everything was as simple as that smile, it would be awesome.

"Okay, let's try that way, then," Kaoru confirmed, "and if I don't feel good we'll talk about it again, alright?

\- Finally you're taking decisions. That's sexy~," the younger told him, before stealing a kiss from him.

The thing made Kaoru laugh. It was a little weird, but whatever, Souma had never been the most normal student in the school. He wasn't the weirdest either, luckily, because he wasn't sure he would be able to deal with someone like the Sakuma brothers or even _Wataru_ (he'd rather not even think about his junior's red-haired classmate, he'd rather not even approach that guy).

"What's that," he answered, his hand naturally looking for his boyfriend's.

"What, the kiss?

\- No, what you said just before."

But the younger one smiled, and, taking his hand, starting walking towards the school.

"Souma!

\- I'm not talking about it right now, bad, bad idea!" he only answered, leading him towards the buildings.

Their classes were on different floors, so it made very little time for both of them to stay together while waiting for the class to start. Still, they went together to the 2-A classroom, where they talked a little together about various things. Kaoru was sitting on his junior's desk, so he couldn't understand immediately why Souma suddenly became so pale. He did feel the very cold look on his back, though, and felt bad for a second. Yet, he didn't last long, and the person probably went towards their own place in the classroom, on another side. He still couldn't see who that had been, yet he had his idea - to be honest, he knew that perfume very well.

"It was Adonis, was it?" he whispered, hoping his band mate wouldn't hear it, and gulped when his lover nodded.

"I hope it won't be like that for too long, though. I don't want to spend all my lessons feeling bad just because he's jealous of you."

But the third-year student shook his head. The good thing with Adonis being his bandmate was that they knew each other quite well, and Kaoru didn't need to look at him.

"Don't worry, it won't last," he explained. "He's a good and simple man, and if anything goes wrong, I'll just talk with him.

\- Just be careful, please.

\- It's okay, you know he's not a brute."

The younger one nodded, yet he could still feel there was a little worry, so, he looked around, and, making sure people wouldn't be looking at them (or at least make a fuss about it), he kissed his club mate. He wasn't sure that would be enough to reassure him, but it would probably help, even just a little.

Soon after, the bells were tolling, and he had to go to his own class in time, and, while trying to take notes (in vain), Kaoru thought about what he had been suggested. On a notebook page, he had made two columns, one for the pros, and one for the cons. In the «pros» column, he already had written «Souma», «Escaping from hellish-family», «Adorable family», and «Delicious food». In the «cons» one was the sentence «What if I miss my family», followed by «No more time alone», and that was it.

Yet, in his head, the second one was the most important, but the idea of missing his family was still stuck in his head. He'd need to talk about it with Souma at lunch, and maybe he could ask Sakuma about it all, too. He wasn't sure he was ready for all that... But it wouldn't be the first time he wasn't ready for something.

When the teacher called his name, he jumped on his seat, as if he had been brought back to reality, suddenly. He was a little confused, and had to ask what the question was. Apparently, from history, they had turned towards maths, and his textbook wasn't the right one. He didn't really understand how it had ended up like that, and, with an apologetic smile, still tried to answer the question (of course, his answer was wrong, but he really couldn't care less about that point).

So, hours later, he took some time to talk with Sakuma about how the things had turned out, and his leader looked at him with the widest eyes he had ever seen on a Sakuma family member.

"Aren't you burning some steps?

\- The ones who suggested it were his parents. And they didn't even wait for us to get together before they asked me to stay with them, actually," he explained.

"It's very sudden though, are you sure this is what you want?

\- Are you listening? I'm saying that it's the reason I'm hesitating. I wonder if it's a good idea.

\- What about Kanzaki?

\- He thinks the same. We said we'd be thinking about it, today, but the only thing I managed to get sorted out is this ugly-ass table. And it doesn't really help."

He showed his notebook to the self-proclaimed vampire, whose face was enough to tell him it wouldn't be sufficient to decide about such a thing.

"Also, it's a very short time span. You could probably ask them if you can wait a little more before you give your answer, don't you think? One day is too short to take such an important decision. I already can't even believe you ended up with Kanzaki the very day I had to explain to you that yes, homosexual relationships were normal relationships."

An apologetic smile on his lips, he rubbed his neck. He couldn't believe it either, and if he had to be honest, he didn't even understand how thing had turned out how they were.

"Yeah, I know. But all of it was so... Natural. I felt bad for a moment because suddenly I was treated like a prince though I haven't ever deserved anything like that. And out of nowhere, I was there, in his arms, asking if I could kiss him. It's just... I'm not sure I remember everything. But this family's so sweet, so... _Not like mine_."

The dark-haired man seemed a little worried, and thought about it for a second, but just before he could say anything, Kaoru stood up. He had smelled the now too familiar perfume of _home_ , and didn't wait the purple-head to show up before joining him at the entrance of the class.

"Was this on purpose or were you leaving the class?

\- I smelled your perfume, so I wanted to greet you," he explained, under his leader's protective gaze.

Sakuma waved him goodbye, while he walked towards the opposite side of the classroom, where Tenshouin was. _Oh, come on, I thought the two of you were hiding your relationship?_ Yet, while he lad his junior to his table, the blond-haired man left the classroom, under Sakuma's embarrassed look. The man sighed, rubbed his neck, and left the classroom, too. _I guess he doesn't have a reason to stay here anymore_ , he thought, and made a weird face when he realized he had forgotten to buy something to eat.

"Ah, can you wait for me?" he asked, "I forgot to buy lunch, I'll be back quickly."

But before he could even stand up, the second-year student placed two lunchboxes on the desk, giving his the one enveloped in golden fabric.

"Mom prepared this for both of us," he explained. "She probably placed it in my bag while I was waking up Ryouta."

_A lunchbox. For me. A whole lunchbox, just for me,_ he told himself, not able to believe what was happening before his eyes. _No, there must be something wrong, it must be for Ryouta and Souma forgot giving it to him, or both are for Souma_... Still, he gently untied the fabric, and blinked when a piece of paper fell from it. He took it, and unfolded it.

«Dear Kaoru,

Thank you for taking care of our son, he looked happier than the usual, this morning. I hope you will enjoy your meal as much as we enjoyed your presence,

Love,

Satomi Kanzaki.»

He felt his heart beat at an irregular rhythm while reading the letter, and didn't even know how to react properly. So he silently thanked his boyfriend's mother, and placed the paper in his bag, so he wouldn't lose it.

Both of the started eating, and to Kaoru, it was exactly as if they were in a restaurant. The food was so good, and there was so much of it, he thought his stomach would explode before he could finish it all.

They didn't really talk before they were finished, but he knew they had to gather what they thought about the situation before the lunch break was over, so he was the one to start talking on the subject:

"So, I started thinking about your parents' suggestion. I don't have a final answer yet, of course," he said, and was greeted with a nod. "But I want to talk with you about one thing.

\- What is it?"

He took a deep breath, not really sure it was the right thing to do. It probably wasn't much, yet he still felt like it was the most important thing on earth:

"Apart from the fact we don't know yet how our relationship will turn out, I fear I might miss my family, if I come live with you," he explained. "I mean, of course, my dad is outright mean, sexist and homophobic, and my siblings are following his path. But they're still my family."

The younger one seemed to think about it for a moment, before he nodded:

"Of course you would miss them. But I don't know if it's a major problem. I mean, it's not like we're taking you as a hostage, you could still go there anytime you want, or if anything goes wrong, or if you wanna go back there, I don't think it'll be a problem. If you want to spend the holidays with them, or with us, too, you can do it anytime. And I think you want to go home tonight so you can get freshly washed clothes and some other things," Souma replied.

He had to repeat the speech at least four times in his mind before he could get a solid grip on it. He had some difficulties assimilating the fact he could still go and see his family anytime, but, he thought, he was probably just stupid; after all, there had been loads of things he hadn't been able to get a grip on, lately.

Still, he wasn't completely sure, and they decided together that, before they'd take any decision at all, Kaoru would go home for a few minutes - or a few hours, depending on how it would turn out - so he could at least grab a few of his things, or just stay there for the night. He was quite sure he'd just go home and sleep there, but in the end, things tended to turn out quite unexpectedly when his father was involved.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading ♪


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru decides to pay a little visit to his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hope you've been alright, guys! I originally intended to post this on Souma's birthday, but haven't been feeling very good in the end.
> 
> A warning though, this is the chapter with the graphic depictions of violence. Don't force yourself to read it if you don't feel good when confronted to that kind of situation.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it ♥

And, in the end, this time was just another one of those. When his father slapped him, asking where he had been, the second he had stepped a foot home, his decision was taken: at least for that night, he wasn't sleeping there.

"I guess you were sleeping with, how many of your whores?" the man asked, "Four? Five? Hah, they must have been good, but I guess you're not marrying any one of them," the man almost spitted to his face.

"You are right on one point," he angrily replied as he started walking towards his room, and the bathroom right next to it, "I'm not marrying any of them, and you know what? I'm not marrying any woman _at all_.

\- What do you mean, you're not marrying any woman at all? You're not one of those fags, are you?"

The man was following him, and he knew what he had to do. While walking as fast as possible, he tapped the call button on his phone, that was hidden in his pocket. He quickly gathered as much of his clothes and personal stuff as he could into a backpack, and, while closing it, replied:

"Yes I am!" he couldn't help himself shouting, "And then what?! What will you do about it, huh?!"

He had never seen that man so red, and was scared of the answer. Yet, he didn't let it show, and faced him with all the determination he could. Still, he was thrown with an incredible strength and violence on his own bed, and feared for his life when a hand slapped his face with so much strength he was relieved his neck wasn't broken.

"This is what I do to fags! I'll have you get back in the right path!" he shouted, while starting to undress both himself and his son, without any delicacy.

His fists clenched, he was ready to fight back, until the door was brutally opened, and his father suddenly completely stopped moving, as if time had been stopped. Kaoru could barely see the blade of a sword, and sighed of relief when he saw Souma's face.

"Kaoru, I think there's no need to hesitate anymore," he told, in the most severe tone the blond had ever heard from him. "You, get away from him or you'll taste my blade."

_Bless Souma and his katana_ , he thought as the man was getting away from him, letting him go. He readjusted his clothes, and, while his boyfriend was keeping his father under his control, gathered the last things he needed.

"I'll call the police," his father said, "you're not authorized to carry a weapon!

\- I am, actually. But I guess swines don't know about the name «Kanzaki», so I don't have much time to lose with you."

As soon as Kaoru was ready, he made a sign to his boyfriend so he could sheath his sword. He made sure he could always see the man until the left the house, but his father was so scared he hadn't moved from the bed at all.

"Are you okay?" Souma asked when they were far enough not to fear anything anymore.

"I am, thanks to you. ...I can't believe what was going to happen if you hadn't been there," he sighed, not feeling very good.

"I wish I had been faster. A few seconds earlier and he wouldn't have been able to lay a finger on you."

Kaoru shook his head. He was the one who had provoked his father, and though he had been ready for the slap, he just hadn't been prepared for what had come next. He felt so disgusted he needed to puke.

"You did your best, and you saved me from the worst. Besides, now I have a slightly better idea of what it is to be on the discriminated side."

He shook his head again, and asked his boyfriend to lead him to the closest public toilets so he could get to throw up. He felt Souma rub his back for as long as he was feeling bad, and flushed the toilets, and rinsed his mouth as soon as he was feeling better.

"Let's get home and rest," Akatsuki's center told him, and he nodded as an answer.

When they reached the traditional house, both of them saluted very calmly, and went towards Souma's room. They had just got to meet with his mother, and the purple-haired student quickly explained her things had turned bad at Kaoru's house before they both went and laid on the bed. The third-year student was feeling like a real child, and quickly hugged his boyfriend, still terrified by what had just happened. He didn't even want to believe his father had tried touching him under the pretext of «getting him back on the right path». As if he wasn't already confused enough about how things would evolve with Souma, if he hadn't been stopped in time Kaoru would probably actually have been disgusted of sexual relationships _at all_ for quite a while.

Trying to get rid of those dreadful thoughts, he realized that, in his arms, his junior was trembling, and he could even discern hints of upcoming tears in the corner of his eyes. So, he started kindly rubbing Souma's back in an attempt to comfort him, and asked:

"What's happening?"

The younger one gulped, and seemed to have difficulties finding his words. His eyes were wider than usual, and he was clingier than he had been until now.

"I was so scared," he admitted, "scared that I wouldn't be there in time, that he'd touch you, scared that he'd keep acting even when threatened with a sharpened katana..."

Shaking a little harder, he hid his face in the crook of Kaoru's neck.

"I wanted to get there earlier, what if he had done worse, what if he hadn't taken any of it?!"

The blond's free hand gently caressed his hair, and Kaoru tried looking for the right words.

"He hasn't, Souma. He hasn't and that's thanks to you," he was shaking, too, and wondered when it would stop, "We're safe. We're in your home, safe and sound, and he won't touch me anymore, okay?"

He wasn't sure about the last point, to be honest, since he could still feel the man almost tearing up his clothes, and he hated himself for feeling paralyzed at that moment - yet he tried to calm himself down, he had been almost knock out by the slap, to be honest.

Yet, Souma nodded, and that felt like a relief. They stayed a little more like that, tightly hugging, so strongly it almost hurt, but relieved to be home, safe, together. They kept communicating, whispering words of reassurance to each other, and it was only a few hours later that Satomi brought them two cups of tea, telling them they should drink it.

"Do you want to stay home instead of going to class, tomorrow?"

Even though the third-year didn't care (he was still trying to forget the images of the altercation), his junior looked a little more concerned:

"But it wouldn't be right, would it? I can't let my training down..."

His mother shook her head, and replied:

"Look at you, you're still trembling, and it seems what happened was traumatic enough. I don't think your father would force your training upon you to the point you'd have to go to school tomorrow. The two of you should care about yourselves until you feel a little better."

He had an hesitation, but finally replied:

"Thank you, mother.

\- You're welcome. I'll talk about it with your father. If you need to talk, we are here."

The younger smiled, and thanked his mother, before sighing out of relief. Kaoru knew it wouldn't go away right now, and, remembering he needed to open up, decided, for now, to send Sakuma a message. Though he didn't give any detail, he said a traumatic event had happened, and precised he wouldn't go to class the next day, apologizing for not being able to come to practice. He also sent Kanata a message to tell him neither of them would go to the club, not saying anything about what had happened. The Club President didn't need useless worries.

Then, while Souma was getting up to take his cup of tea, he looked around him, and, for a reason, suddenly felt protected. This house was like a shelter, a fortified one, where nothing could happen to him. It felt way safer than his house, where people would enter his room anytime or talk to him as if he was trash. So, he sat of the bed, and took the second cup of tea. He had tasted it the day before, and knew it was what he needed right now.

Suddenly, while they were quietly drinking, Kaoru telling his boyfriend he felt lucky for being so well cared of, someone knocked at the door, and Ryouta's voice called both of their names. The lovers smiled at each other, and let the child enter the room. His presence would probably help them forget a little.

"Mama told me you were sad," he explained, and showed them two drawings, "so I drew that for you! This one is for Kaoru," he gave him one of them, "and this one is for big brother!" he explained, giving his brother the second one.

Looking at his, Kaoru smiled. It showed the Kanzaki family surrounding him, in front of what he guessed was supposed to be their house. The child had written everyone's names under the characters, and in the sky floated the words: «I love big brother Kaoru!». He couldn't help but smile like a child, and ruffled the kid's hair.

"Thank you, Ryouta. It's very beautiful."

It wasn't wrong, the youngest member of the family was pretty good at drawing for his age. And he remarked it a second time when Souma showed him his. It represented just the two of them, hand in hand, and said: «I want big brother and Kaoru to be happy together forever!». That child was clever, and he definitely had understood what bonded the two of them.

"Thank you so much," Souma added, "your drawings are beautiful, let's display them on my chamber's walls!"

He seemed more enthusiastic than Kaoru would have thought, and the child looked very happy to hear those words. So the three of them decided together where they would put the drawings, and Ryouta looked so happy they had given his art so much attention that Kaoru's heart lightened a lot. He stayed a little with them, drawing in his brother's room, before their mother called them for dinner. Even though the youngest of them almost ran to the dining room, Kaoru and Souma looked at each other.

"Are you hungry?" the younger one asked, and Kaoru knew he didn't need to answer for his boyfriend to know how he felt.

"Not at all. My stomach feels completely blocked," he still said. "I feel sorry for your mother since the food she prepares is so delicious, but I fear I might puke again if I eat anything."

His junior nodded, but contrarily to his expectation, didn't leave the room.

"And you, aren't you hungry?

\- I'm not. I just feel like I can't eat anything at all, for now. And even though we're safe here, I'm afraid at the sole thought of leaving you alone right now. I'll just tell my mother we're both feeling bad, she'll understand. Are you gonna be okay? I'm back in a minute."

The blond nodded, and, while waiting for him to come back, went lying on the bed again. It felt comfortable, more than his, especially after what had happened. He was a little scared, though, but also angry. Because not only had his father completely rejected who he was, he had also tried _changing him_ and _traumatizing him_ , just so he'd reject any possible sexual relation with a man, and focus on women - not that he had ever agreed on any of his heterosexual relationships in the first place.

"I don't want to be traumatized about that," he groaned in the pillow. "I want to be able to think «I wanna have sex with Souma» on day, without blocking myself just because of that asshole!"

He hoped nobody heard him, yet it felt so good being able to express it with his own voice. It was different from just thinking it, as if saying it was releasing him from a self-installed prison. A few seconds later, the door opened again on his boyfriend, and Kaoru could swear his cheeks were a little red - he also looked like he was trying not to smile too brightly. _Oh crap. Did he hear me?_

"Mother and Father said it was fine for us not to eat dinner. They also said we should take our time to relax. Mother will bring us another cup of tea after the dinner."

Thankful, Kaoru expressed his gratitude, and closed his eyes. He wanted to sleep, but whenever he tried, the terrible scene came back to his mind, and he felt bad. It must have shown on his face, because before he could even understand what had happened, he was in Souma's arms, his face covered with kisses. The thing helped making him smile, and he answered the hug, his forehead against the younger's.

"Thank you, love," he whispered, and saw Souma's cheek redden even more, and his smile grow.

_Oh, right, it's the first time I call him that._ He had called him that again and again in his head, in his dreams, in his fantasies, but never had he pronounced the word before. And he liked the taste of it, the sound it made when he used the word. So, he laid it down on his lover's lips, and was gleefully greeted. It really felt like a shelter that could protect him from anything. Like another world where nothing was to fear.

"I'm sorry," his junior apologized, and he was a little curious, "It's my fault if it happened. Because I invited you. And because...

\- Shut up," Kaoru gently whispered. "It's not your fault if I accepted the invitation. It's not your fault if I fell in love with you I don't even know when because I never knew what it was, before; it's not your fault if I provoked that asshole, and it's not your fault if he reacted like that."

His boyfriend stayed agape for a few seconds, but finally smiled to him, probably a little more relaxed, now. And it helped him feeling better, too. It wasn't anybody's fault, except for the asshole to be so narrow-minded. He'd never understand. And he didn't care if he would ever understand or not.

Speaking about that point, he received two messages, and apologized to Souma while he looked at them. He expected answers from Sakuma and Kanata, but one of them was from his brother, and one from his sister. He also saw he had gotten answers from his friends; yet, he couldn't help but read his family's first.

«Dad told me you were a fag. So disgusting. Don't approach me anymore,» said his sister's, and he knew the next one wouldn't be much better: «It's better you didn't come to my wedding. I couldn't see myself explaining my family-in-law that my brother's a disgusting fag.»

He threw his phone away, without even looking at Sakuma and Kanata's messages, even if he just _knew_ they would be way more supportive. Right now, he just needed to stay away from any member of his family. So, he just snuggled a little more against Souma, letting him pet his head and draw arabesques on his back with his fingers.

"Was it from your family?

\- The shitheads that are supposed to be my siblings. I knew they wouldn't support me, but I didn't know they would blatantly reject me like that. I'm sorry if I ever was that way with anyone."

He heard a chuckle, and raised his head:

"What's so funny?

\- Kaoru. You're in my arms, assuming your relationship with me and handling it way better than yourself would have expected it, for a first day. I don't think this would be happening if you ever were like that with anyone. Also, you never even thought about leaving UNDEAD even after finding out you leader liked men."

_Oh_. He was right, Sakuma and him had a good relationship, and his classmate had even become his confident. Without the self-proclaimed vampire, he would still be lost, and Souma would probably not have waited for him. _I'm luckier than I thought._ He smiled, ready to fall asleep.

Unfortunately, the world had decided he wasn't supposed to sleep right now, because someone knocked at the door, and judging by the sound, it probably was Ryouta. Yet, Kaoru wasn't sure he was in any state to tell the kid a story. Himself wasn't very confident about his trail of thoughts, and had to force himself to be able to focus.

Souma still let his brother come in, though, and while he was getting up, asked what the matter was. Of course, he knew what it was about, and, of course, the child asked, once again, for the blond to read him a story. He felt like he had no other choice, and started getting up. But apparently, he wasn't supposed to do so, because his lover had him stay in place.

"I'm sorry, Ryouta," he explained, "Kaoru isn't feeling good at all, tonight. Is it okay if I'm the one who reads you the story?"

He bit his lip, he'd rather have him stay with him, but the child needed someone to tell him his bedtime stories. Ryouta pouted for a few seconds, so his brother added an argument:

"I'll continue the story of the Samurai and the Sorcerer," he said, and the kid smiled from ear to ear, accepting the suggestion.

"I'm sorry," Souma apologized, and Kaoru shook his head as an answer.

"What's the story of the Samurai and the Sorcerer?" he asked instead.

"It's about... Well, the sorcerer probably kind of looks like you, a lot, and may have a very, extremely similar name. Probably.

\- Oh." The thing made him laugh, considering the story he had told the kid just the night before. "Anyway, you should go, it's gonna be late," he said, smiling.

"Are you gonna be okay?

\- Sure. You're in the next room, I can survive that."

The younger one smiled, and left the room, following his little brother, and Kaoru sighed. He wasn't very happy being left alone, because it let him think about the things he wanted to forget. About how he had almost been abused, about what he had managed to avoid thanks to Souma, about all the possible scenarios that could have happened if he had been alone at that time. He also thought about the fact he had ended up in the Kanzaki house, and that if he didn't accept their suggestion, he was going to have to sleep in the streets. He could also ask friends to let him stay at their home, but for all he knew, their families weren't much better.

At least, here, he would have the chance to feel like he was in a real family, even if it had to last only a few days, or a few months (but even that he couldn't imagine, because that was a big amount of time, and he had rarely had relationships that lasted longer than two weeks and a half). In order to stop thinking about all those things, Kaoru got up, and took his phone. He saw his siblings' messages, and blatantly deleted their message threads, and even their phone numbers. He didn't need those assholes in his life.

Yet, it took him some time, because he was receiving messages every two seconds. From Sakuma, from Kanata, from Doggie, even from Adonis. He even got a message from Sakuma's little brother, which was quite surprising since they hardly talked together. So, he opened them all, starting by the most recent one.

"The thing that was unfortunately born from the same parents as me told me something happened. Hope you're okay. And please answer him, he's turning crazy, that's a such bother I can't sleep."

The message made him smile, and he apologized, explaining he was okay, now, and went through the next one. It was Sakuma's thread of messages : eighty-four in the last two hours, all asking if he was alright, if he needed to talk, if he was alive, if he should call the cops, and things like that. So, as he was receiving another one, Kaoru replied:

"Hey, calm down, vampire mom. I'm alright, I'm at the Kanzakis', and they're treating me well. I'll call you tomorrow to explain what happened, but right now it's... Anyway, thanks for the worries, sorry for practice."

As soon as he had sent it, he went through the next ones, telling Kanata that basically Souma saved his life and nothing was to fear, but they needed a good rest the next day, Koga was just saying he hoped everything was alright - he replied that, now, everything _was_ alright, but he had had the fear of his life - and Adonis...

"Sorry for my behavior, lately," the text said, "I hope you are alright."

An apologetic smile on his lips, he refrained from telling him he was sorry for taking Souma's heart, and only replied with a «thanks, I'll take care.». Once he was over with reading the wall-like message Sakuma had sent him in relief, he went back to lying on the bed, closing his eyes, hoping for Ryouta to fall asleep soon.

And right at that moment, someone knocked at the door. It wasn't the child, but Kaoru still let the person enter. He had the surprise to discover his boyfriend's mother, holding three cups of tea on a plate. She invited him to take one, explaining one was for her son, and the third for herself.

"So, tell me, how are you feeling?"

He was surprised she didn't ask for what happened, but let it be, and shrugged.

"I don't really know. I'm a little less scared. I feel reassured when he's here with me, but I can't help but think about what happened. It feels surreal, I didn't even know my father was able to go to such extremes. What should I do?"

He was shaking when he took his cup of tea, and told himself it would be better if he just held it for the moment.

"First of all," she explained, "you can talk about it to people you trust. It'll help you see the situation a little better. Then, depending on what it is, I think you can find help in associations, or with a psychologist if you decide it's better. And lastly, if you don't feel safe, I'm sure my husband will be happy to teach you how to fight back!"

He thanked her, and started drinking the tea. It tasted so good, now he was feeling a little better, and so warm - warmth was a thing he needed a lot right now, especially after he had been rejected from his family the way he had been. He hoped the asshole wouldn't try and join him, because he didn't know how he would react. But what he feared was to get stuck in place, the exact same way he had been a few hours earlier.

"...It was terrifying, you know," he started explaining, out of nowhere. "It lasted only a few seconds, because Souma was quick to react. But I don't know how he managed to throw me on that bed. He had so much strength I didn't know if I'd make it alive. He said he wanted to put me back in the right path..."

The woman placed a hand on his shoulder, not letting him continue immediately. She didn't seem to want him to talk if he didn't want to, and that was a good thing, because he wasn't sure he'd be able to tell the whole story.

"My boy, you _are_ in the right path. As long as you are happy with your choices, it means they were the right ones, alright?"

Not really sure his body was functioning correctly, he nodded, and thanked her. He wanted to tell her everything, but it was such a mess in his head, he could only tell what was going through it:

"I knew he wanted me to marry a woman after I graduated, and that's why I was flirting with girls... He was so terrifying, I thought he was going to kill me. Just because I dared telling him, looking into his eyes, that I liked men, he...

\- Stop," she said, on a stricter voice than the usual. "I understand, you don't need to force yourself to say it. I know you want to put a name on it, but you're being hard on yourself, right now. It was only a few hours ago."

He nodded again, feeling completely lost, and kept drinking. He didn't like that situation, and worse, he didn't like that he couldn't do anything about it right now. So, he tried changing subjects, in the hope it'd help him feel better.

"About your invitation to live here...

\- Oh, it's just a suggestion. You can take all the time you need to answer, of course, especially if things go wrong between you and Souma - I do not hope for it, of course - but, just know you'll always be welcome here," she gently explained, her lips curved into a big, and very cute smile.

"Thank you very much. May I abuse of that hospitality for at least the upcoming days? I cannot go back there. Or rather," he corrected, "I don't want to go back there. So for now...

\- For now, the roof above your head is your roof as well," she agreed before sipping her own cup of tea. "Don't think too much about everything, you'll hurt yourself for nothing. Whatever you decide, I think everybody will be glad to count you as a part of our family already," she said, so happily she was almost chuckling.

Seeing the door open behind her, Kaoru lifted his eyes towards his boyfriend, alerting the woman of her son's presence in the room.

"Mother," he kindly reprimanded, "are you trying to influence Kaoru so he can stay here?"

She answered with an amused laugh, and said:

"I'm just giving him a roof so he's not on the streets. I don't care if, when you both become student, you take a flat together, but for now, what this young man needs is not to be alone," she explained, and Souma sighed, while the blond laughed.

"It sounds like you're adopting him, and it's not like I'm against the idea, but I'd be quite uncomfortable to be having Kaoru as my brother." Since Satomi was about to say something, her son quickly added: "And we are not married!

\- But it _could_ happen.

\- Maybe. Someday, in the future. But mom, we've been together for twenty-four hours, can you please stop, I feel ashamed," he started saying, and the woman suddenly looked all around the room.

Kaoru wondered what that behavior meant, and started looking around the room, too, until he saw the katana, lying against a wall, and the woman sighed when she saw it; and he understood. He wondered if it was really a question of honor, or if his junior had had real suicidal thoughts, but apparently it was a matter of concern for his family, too. And that was something Souma was aware of, if he understood his sigh correctly.

"I'm not going to commit seppuku," he said. "I promised. And I want to keep that promise."

Softly, the dark-haired student took his hand, and started caressing it, as if he was trying to tell him he had listened to him. It felt reassuring to know he had promised he wouldn't want to die anymore, and somehow, Kaoru felt glad he had told him that.

"I do hope so," the woman added, and, placing a kiss on her son's cheek, and then on Kaoru's, she left the room.

He blinked. Twice. Three times. More times than he could count. Because he wasn't sure he understood what happened - did she kiss him on the cheek? As if he was one of her sons?

"You look quite shocked," Souma stated.

"I am. Is it a thing mothers do?

\- It is. How does it feel?

\- Weird, to be honest, but also good," he explained, touching his cheek. "Soft. Warm. Loving." He couldn't help his smile. "If that's what having a mother is like, I'm happy I got to know it."

Souma smiled in turn, and kissed his other cheek, before aiming for his lips. He let him do, and happily answered the kiss.

"I need to do something to thank your parents properly," he affirmed, trying to find something he was good at.

"Let's think about that later, if you will," his boyfriend told him, "and come take a shower."

He nodded in agreement, and stood up. He did need a shower, after all. Especially after everything that had happened that day. He wanted to wash that asshole's touch away from his body, and to feel clean, and comfortable - which, right now, he wasn't at all. So he followed Souma till the bathroom, and ticked.

"Wait. Are we showering together, or, how does it work?"

He felt a little confused, and very ashamed of being confused, but before answering, his junior started filling the bath in, and he understood. So, he took his clothes off, trying not to watch his boyfriend do so, because he wasn't sure how his body would react. Yet, it wasn't like he had never set foot in hot springs, and had never seen other men naked. The difference was only that he was attracted by this one. Not much, was it?

Yes, very much, it was. Because when he turned towards his junior, getting ready to shower, he hadn't thought about the fact his body was the same one he liked to see in the unit's stage clothes, and he felt uncomfortable, for a lot of reasons.

He still breathed in and out, trying to calm down while he let the younger one wash his back and his hair - a perfect chance not to be looking at him - and tell him simple things. He was shivering under the touch, biting his lip not to let any sound escape his mouth because of the contact. Because right now, what he wanted was to feel his lover's hands all over his body.

For some reason (probably to help him focus on something else that that day's story), Souma was narrating him how his day had been going during the class, how he was upset that Adonis still hadn't tried talking to him though he had offered his classmate to go to a gilled meat restaurant, and how Keito had noticed his efforts about not using his katana outside of the choreographies.

"He said I shouldn't keep it sharpened, for safety reasons," his tone had become very childish and pouty, "but I think it's safer the way it is."

The reaction made Kaoru laugh, and he answered:

"As long as you don't hurt yourself too badly and are certain you won't, you can keep it sharpened, I think," he said, while lifting his head towards the purple-haired student.

The smile that greeted him made him happy, and the kiss that followed even happier.

"Okay, let's exchange places," he continued, letting his junior sit before him.

It was weird, seeing him from that point of view. Souma had always been smaller than him, but it was the first time he saw him sitting before him, his long hair untied, and _don't think about his naked body, Kaoru, don't, I know you like it but give him time, damn,_ he scolded himself, before starting to wash his boyfriend's back and hair. It was the very first time he got to touch the skin he had spent _hours_ observing, and it felt like it was a treasure. A very soft, warm, and neat treasure.

It had always seemed to him that there was no imperfection on the younger's back; yet he probably hadn't looked correctly, because there were. They weren't easy to discern, but he could see lighter patches (probably scars due to some injury), he counted at least three beauty spots, and, and that was the weirdest thing to feel, it felt very stiff. It was probably due to his training, yet it was like there was a constant tension, and Kaoru didn't resist the need to massage him.

There was a surprised moan, when he started, and after a little explanation, he got the authorization to continue. Under his hands, he could feel the second year student relax, his muscles getting less tense, and he _loved_ hearing him moan.

_If I'm in such a state just hearing him moan because I'm massaging his back, I can't imagine what it could be like..._

A smile appeared on his lips, and, after he was sure Souma was feeling better («so relaxed he probably was going to fall asleep» to be exact), he started washing his hair. He was a little surprised, because Souma scented of cinnamon, but the shampoo wasn't perfumed at all. He wondered what it came from, for a few seconds, until his boyfriend gave him a bottle, explaining:

"Can you rince my hair and then cover it with this, please?"

Taking the bottle, Kaoru realized: it was a cinnamon-perfumed conditioner. _So, he uses conditioner... This is something I wouldn't have expected from him._ Still, he applied the product on the student's hair, before rinsing his own body; and turned towards the bathtub.

"Shouldn't we stop the water from running before it gets too high?"

Suddenly, Souma froze, and rushed towards the bathtub to stop the water's flow. He sighed in relief, and in surprise just after, when Kaoru turned the shower head towards him, to wash away the soap on his body.

"Did you just..."

He suddenly feared for his life, before trying to stop his boyfriend. After all, the ground was covered with water, and he didn't want Souma to slip and hurt himself, they had had their lot of adventure for the day.

"I did," he said, while walking towards the bath. "But you can't attack me, now," he said.

"That's what you think, d-" the second-year student stopped himself.

Kaoru knew exactly why: he had been about to say «disgrace», as he was used to call him. But apparently, his boyfriend refused to use the word, this time. He wondered why.

"I could replace it with «darling»," the younger thought aloud.

"Oh, come on, that's cheesy," Kaoru whined in reply. "Don't you have something else?

\- But «darling» starts with a «d», so anytime I start saying «disgrace» I can change it in time," he explained.

"Well, I'd prefer a better nickname, but if it helps you, let's start with that," he finally agreed.

After all, he could understand the idea. It was easier to do it that way, he had experienced it in another way.

"Anyway, are you coming in the bath or am I supposed to look at you all night long? Not that I mind doing so, though," he playfully smiled, and Souma's cheeks suddenly reddened.

A second later, they were together in the water. It was the first time he was taking a bath with someone, and that was a little weird, to him, especially because he would have expected spending such a time with a girl. Well, his life was full of surprises; maybe a little too much, actually.

It did feel good, though. The two of them, together in the water, just relaxing. They weren't accustomed to it yet, and didn't really know how to position themselves. It was a little awkward at first, until they found the perfect position: Souma laying his back against Kaoru's chest. It felt comfortable and intimate, and the silence that suddenly surrounded them felt good.

They stayed like that for a while, and Kaoru, looking at the tempting neck, finally placed a kiss on it. It was instinctive, and he had the intent of apologizing, until he heard the happy sigh he heard as a reaction. So, instead, he stayed silent, and closed his eyes, his chin resting against his boyfriend's shoulder.

Time seemed to have disappeared, and neither of them made any sign of wanting to get out of the bath, until someone knocked at the door. Almost asleep, both of them jumped at the sound, and looked at each other with dizzy smiles.

"I think my father would like to take his bath, too," Souma laughed.

"Then let's leave the place to him. We need to go and sleep," Kaoru replied, placing a kiss in the corner of his lover's lips.

At least, now, they were so tired they wouldn't be long to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading ♥  
> The Sorcerer and the Samurai story evoked in this chapter is actually Eydol's "The Fate of the Samurai" (/7340557)
> 
> If you're not feeling well, take your time to drink water, breathe, contact your friends or anyone that helps you feel better.


	8. Chapter 8

The next week, while everyone except Sakuma was in the practice room, Kaoru was stretching his body. Their leader was on fire, lately, and didn't let them a second to rest, so they'd better be prepared. But while he was stretching his body _and_ doing some vocal exercises (a single error and the vampire would turn into a dictator, he hoped it wasn't due to Tenshouin's influence), Adonis came towards him, clearly feeling uneasy. So, the blond looked at it, and asked:

"What is it, Adonis?"

The young man looked at Koga, and dragged him a little further away from the wolf.

"...I know there's something between you and Souma," he explained, and Kaoru laughed.

"Well, it's not like we're trying our hardest to hide it," he said, "so this is no big news. I guess there's something else, huh?"

There definitely _was_ something else, because his band mate wouldn't have taken him apart if it was just for that. But the young man just looked away, seeming even more uneasy.

"Well, hum. The thing is... I have feelings for Souma, too. And uh..."

He felt so sorry. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry you have to deal with that," he answered, before being stopped.

"No, no, that's not the problem. I mean, I feel bad because I haven't talked with him in a while, and I don't know how to apologize. He's my friend..."

That _did_ look very sincere, but Kaoru wasn't sure if he was about to say the right thing. Yet, his lover had already told him he didn't feel very good when Adonis didn't talk with him.

"He is your friend, indeed," the blond smiled. "Just go to him and say anything. You can tell him you're sorry, or suggest you have lunch together, or something like that. He misses you, too."

The surprise he could read on his band mate's face was hilarious, but he did his best not to show it.

"Really?

\- Of course.

\- You won't get angry?"

He blinked, more than once. Well, of course it squeezed his heart a little, but angry?

"Why would I be angry?

\- Because even if my feelings are not returned, I want to stay friends with him.

\- Why would I be angry about that? You have the right to be his friend, you know? Everybody has the right to be his friend, as long as it's not forced. I mean, he's not my property, or anything. The difference is, you'll have to get used to see me around a little more than before."

The expression on Adonis's face was like a child's, and Kaoru wasn't sure he wasn't dreaming. It wasn't like he had abducted Souma, was it? That guy was really weird, but Kaoru didn't really mind it. He just wondered how he lived on a daily basis... Shaking his head, he smiled, and wished luck to his band mate.

And then, the door opened in a very savage way. Sakuma seemed angrier than ever, and ever more determined than Kaoru had seen him until now. He looked at all of them, and, with a louder voice than he probably had wanted, he said:

"We are _not_ losing at the next dream festival. I'm not letting him the opportunity to disband us."

Kaoru refrained himself from saying they would probably have no other choice at the end of the year, since the both of them would graduate, but Koga didn't have as much consideration for their leader as he did.

"No offense, Mister Vampire, but you and Casanova are graduating in a few months."

For the first time, he saw Sakuma seriously angry against his band mate, and Koga was almost out of breath when he grabbed him by the collar.

"I do _not_ care about the end of the year. I _do_ care about Eichi's mind game, though, and I'm not letting him win, by any means."

His attitude was frightening, and Kaoru knew he couldn't let the situation worsen. So, he took Sakuma's hand, and, finger by finger, made him let go of their junior. As expected, though, Koga wanted to fight back, and the blond had to take his arm, too.

"Okay, I don't know what happened with Tenshouin, but first of all, if you want to win against your oh-so-dear Emperor, not killing Doggie would be the first step," he said, and while the said doggie was barking, he added: "And shouting against anyone won't do either. Let's just fight with all we have. Not between us, against the capricious baby," he added, and before his leader could add anything, he precised: "And yes, that's what he is, I don't care what you think about that point, Sakuma."

He released both of his friends, and looked at Adonis, to check if he was okay with it. The young man nodded, and got ready. Kaoru did as well, and a second later, they were joined by Koga. The self-claimed vampire, though, stayed agape, looking at them.

"Are you joining us or not?" he asked, starting the song.

Their leader finally moved, placed his bag and his jacket in a corner, and joined them. Practice, that day, ended way later than the usual, and Kaoru was pretty sure he had heard his phone vibrate more than once during that time. Yet, he decided not to let that distract him, and gave it all he had - and what he had was fear and anger, that he gladly released throughout his singing and his dancing.

He knew he was supposed to be the best singer in the band, and he usually didn't practice at all, but he still had a lot of work to do on harmonization and rhythm, especially for the dancing part. He was a little lost at first, but quickly got back on his feet, and started focusing on the exact second he had to make that step, and the second he'd better breathe in to sing that part correctly. It was a lot of work, and when they finally finished, they were all exhausted. It had been dark for a while, and it was Keito who had come to tell them the school was closing and they'd better go home.

"Also, you're making so much noise we can hear you from the student council room," Akatsuki's lead singer precised, immediately followed by Sakuma's "Good".

It didn't take long for Kaoru to realize Keito wasn't alone, and he silently apologized to his boyfriend, who answered with a smile.

"Alright," UNDEAD's leader told them, "That's what I was expecting. I want us to be so strong for the Dream Festival even Fine won't be able to fight back. Alright?

\- So you're gonna make us train as hard as today three to five times a week?" the wolf's tired voice asked.

"Of course I am."

Kaoru sighed, and told him:

"I agree we should train harder, but not until too late. It would just break everyone's health, which could have terrible repercussions on the Festival day.

\- Are you trying to find excuses not to come to practice too much?" the raven-haired man asked, filled with an anger the blond had never seen before.

"No, he's right." He felt glad Doggie was on his side, because he wasn't sure he'd have been able to fight alone. "Pushing us to our limits during practice will only lead us to our death. We'll give it all at the festival, but it's in a few months. Let's just practice hard, but finish on time, so we can, I don't know, also have good marks in class and have a chance to graduate. You already had to retake a year, Sakuma, and with all due respects, I'd rather not have you take it a third time."

The vampire froze, and looked at his band mates, who were preparing to go home. Kaoru quickly grabbed his stuff, and joined Souma in the hallway, kissing him as an apology.

"Sorry it took so long," he explained. "Sakuma's in such a mood he was ready to kill us if we didn't practice harder."

His junior's eyes widened. Of course he knew how UNDEAD's leader wasn't a very strict man, and how he had let him skip practice almost all the time until now. So, having him hold them up in the practice room until they were too tired to sing was very new from him.

"Did something happen between him and his boyfriend?"

He made a face, and shrugged.

"Probably, yeah. He said he wanted to fight and win against Tenshouin at the next Dream Festival. Which is a beautiful dream, but if they do train harder too, we're just dead."

The purple-haired man nodded, and seemed to be on the verge of bringing him back home, until Adonis approached them. So, he looked at his band mate, then at his boyfriend, and told him:

"I'm gonna try and see what I can get from Sakuma."

Though he looked a little uncomfortable, Souma still nodded, and looked at Adonis. Kaoru hoped their dialogue would go well, because if there was a thing his boyfriend didn't need, it was to feel even worse about his friendship.

In the meantime, he went towards his band leader, and placed a hand on his shoulder. He felt him sigh, and both of them walked towards a calmer place.

"I don't know what he did, but you clearly didn't like it, huh?" he inquired, and Sakuma looked away, a sad expression on his face.

"Yeah. I've been stupid, thinking he could changed easily. He's still himself, and the Emperor has decided that he wanted to disband us.

\- So you panicked and had us work harder than necessary.

\- Kind of. To be honest," he hesitated for a while, rubbing his neck, "I don't even understand why he does that. Or maybe... Maybe, because of what happened with the other oddballs, maybe because of our relationship, he's trying to have me just for himself, but... That's not what I want. My brother doesn't want to talk to me and it hurts on a daily basis already, I don't need that from the whole school," he admitted.

Kaoru tilted his head, and tried to understand what surrounded this sudden threat.

"Is that why you hide the fact you're a couple?"

He wasn't able at all to read the expression on his leader's face. It looked like the horrid mix between a smile and a despaired expression, only very ugly.

"Kind of," Sakuma started. "To bo honest, even though we _are_ a couple, there are a few things I want to make clear. One of those is that I won't ever let him influence me. Unfortunately, with that, he's been trying. Actually, he asked me to be the one who would disband UNDEAD after the Dream Festival. He's gonna have a surprise."

Okay, so that was why he had tortured them that day. Now he understood the motivations better, he wouldn't be against more intense training, though the thing didn't make him _that_ happy.

"But Koga is right on one point," Sakuma continued. "Next year, you and I won't be there anymore. And Eichi will...

\- Not be there either. I know his family possesses the school, but he won't be in it anymore, and he won't have as much influence anymore after he leaves school."

The sad expression on his leader's face made him uncomfortable, and Kaoru didn't feel that good, suddenly. He was even wondering why he was trying to have his friend rely on him when himself was bad at that. He saw his friend gulp, and tell him, with difficulties:

"I don't even know if he'll get to leave school, to be honest.

\- What do you mean?"

Silence again. It looked like the self-claimed vampire was looking more like a child than a vampire, suddenly, with tears hiding in the corners of his eyes;

"His disease is starting to get stronger. He probably won't last much longer than the schoolyear. It's now or never," he precised, a little harsher, "if we don't beat them, he'll have lived all his life like a capricious kid. I know he'll regret it when it's too late. I guess his wanting us to disband is a way to show he still has everything in control, but this is not what I want, Eichi or not. I don't care who says what. UNDEAD's very important to me, and I would like to find a solution for it to last as a real unit after we graduate," he explained, and Kaoru was starting to have difficulties to follow his speech. "Will you be with me on that?"

He was ready to reply that he didn't even know what he was doing after he graduated, that his father wanted him to get married and aim for the best university in Japan, that he didn't have a choice but to follow the man's orders. And then, he remembered: his father didn't have a single word to say on the matter anymore. He had rejected his family the same way they had rejected him, and though he felt like he shouldn't have done that, it was too late to go back.

"I'll..." _Do I want to keep singing in UNDEAD? Is this the life I really want?_ "...I'll be with you on that. For now, all I have is basically Souma, Kanata and UNDEAD. I don't know what I really want to do in the future, but I'll try this path," he said, a determined smile on his face. "Let's show Tenshouin what he doesn't know he wants to see."

Sakuma answered him with a reassured smile, and they kept talking for a little while, starting to walk towards the school's entrance. On their way, they met Souma and Adonis, who were speaking happily, and Kaoru felt relieved to see the tint of worry and uneasiness that was hiding in his eyes had completely disappeared. The world wasn't perfect yet, but he understood he was on his way to make it comfortable enough for himself and the people around him.

As soon as their paths separated, they bid each other goodbye, and the atmosphere seemed to have suddenly calmed down, while Souma and him were walking home together, hand in hand, people too busy eating or taking care of their children to see them being affectionate.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

He knew the answer, but he also knew Souma could be very talkative when he wanted, and that it helped him feel better.

"I feel like a very heavy weight has been taken off my chest," the younger one smiled, swinging their linked hands. "We're back to our normal friendship. Thanks."

A kiss on his cheek later, Kaoru turned towards his boyfriend:

"I didn't do anything, though.

\- You told Adonis what he needed to hear.

\- That was just the truth.

\- He needed that truth."

_He needed that truth_. The sentence played again and again in his head, as if it was concerning him, too. But why? How? He was curious, and hoped it wouldn't show too much. The solution wasn't very far away, he knew it, and it was only a matter of hours before he'd find it.

It only came to him in the middle of the night, between two dreams. He had woken up very suddenly, trying to escape another nightmare about his family, and, while he was still trying to sort out his thoughts, Kaoru realized: himself had needed to face the truth about his father. He had needed him to show his true face so he could finally understand what a situation he was in, what a terrible choice it would have been to stay in that place, where nobody was waiting for him. He probably would have stayed in that house, in this terrible situation, if his father hadn't showed his true face immediately; and he would have been taken by surprise the day that man would have tried to touch him. At least, when it had happened, he was prepared.

In the middle of his reflexions, the teenager realized he was thirsty, and decided to go and drink something. He placed a kiss on Souma's forehead, receiving a smile in return, and walked towards the kitchen, so he could take a glass of water. On his way, he met his boyfriend's father, who seemed in the same situation as him, and, quietly saluting him, he apologized for taking a glass of water in the middle of the night.

The man told him once again he didn't need to, and that he was _home_ , but that was a concept the student still had difficulties wrapping his head around. He was coming there every night, and lived as if he had always been there, but somehow, considering the place as _home_ was a little difficult.

"Were you having a nightmare?" the man asked him, and he nodded.

"Every night I dream about how my father trying to _touch_ me in a way or another. About how he wanted to rip my clothes off, about what could have happened afterwards."

The man nodded and offered him a second serving of water, before asking if he'd rather have tea or not. Still dizzy, he gladly accepted it, somehow knowing he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anytime soon.

"I see. I guess Souma told you more than once it wouldn't happen anymore, right?"

He nodded, sipped his drink.

"He did, and that helped a little. It also helps that he was the one who protected me, and that I know he's there. But I'm still terrified.

\- We are often terrified of things we cannot identify, if we can't put a word or a name on it, it feels like it's so big we can't fight it. Can you put a word on what happened?"

He had never really thought about that point. Terrified of things people couldn't put a name on... He wondered what the event could be called. He was inappropriately touched, but that wasn't harrassement, since it had happened only once. It wasn't a _rape_ either since his father hadn't have the chance to do anything. Then what...

"I think he tried to rape me?" the young man said, uncomfortable with the word.

"That was an attempted rape, then. An incestuous one." The man sighed, while pouring tea in two cups. "It's terrible that things like that exist in this world."

He nodded, and wondered if justice could ever do something for him; but in a way, he didn't want to have to face that man again. Ever.

"It is," he simply replied, his hands surrounding the cup he had just been given. "I'm starting to wonder a lot of things about the man, now," he admitted. "I fear I might be getting depressed."

He jumped at the realization he had said that aloud, and wanted to hide. Fuck, he barely even admitted to himself he was depressed, why would he say that to his boyfriend's father?!

"Alright," the man only answered. "If there is something you need to talk about, or you need to know, or you fear, everybody in this house is ready to help in their own way. We were thinking there was something like that, with my wife, but it makes it easier that you said it yourself."

The smile that faced him reflected relief, and support, and he wondered if he hadn't just fallen into a coma and was dreaming of a family that was normal.

"Also, Souma seemed to feel better when you got back home, together. He said it was thanks to you, so thank you for whatever you have done for my son."

Kaoru told him it was nothing much, after all, teenagers' friendships stories weren't that important to adults, and maybe they'd laugh about it someday. But for now it had been something important for Souma, and he was glad he could have done at least that for him. Because compared to what his junior did everyday for him, it really did feel like nothing much.

After his tea was finished, he thanked Mr Kanzaki, and washed his cup, before going back to bed. There, he looked at Souma, and smiled, before joining him in bed, and taking him in his arms. He knew life could be difficult, but he now also knew he wasn't alone to deal with it, and that made him feel way better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ♪


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's been a while! But ~ here we are!

And that was something he needed, considering how Sakuma seemed determined, and had them practice harder every week, how he seemed even more despaired every time. UNDEAD's leader was still carrying his usual smile, but seemed even more tired. Kaoru had heard from his classmates that his band mate had started missing classes, more and more, and Ritsu had even sent him a message to tell him he had heard his brother crying in his coffin when he was going past the light music club room.

And Kaoru thought it had something to do with Tenshouin's disease, but unlike every time he was feeling weak, his classmate still came every day. He just seemed a little different, in his own world, smiling in an absent-minded way at the birds or the clouds he could see through the window. So, when he got the chance, Kaoru went and talked with him.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

The student council president jumped on his seat, and looked at him from toe to head.

"Ah, Hakaze. Yes, of course, why?"

He wasn't going to buy that, because something had probably gone vey wrong in his head.

"Oh, I don't know? I was probably just wondering why you were trying to destroy someone precious to you. Maybe."

The Emperor, with a pale, but innocent smile, answered him.

"I don't understand who you are talking about.

\- Don't try and fool me. I'm talking about Sakuma. He's in the worst state I've ever seen him. Even his brother's worried about him."

The look that faced him seemed very surprised, and if it hadn't been Tenshouin, he would definitely have bought it. Unfortunately, he was talking with the school's dictator.

"Sakuma? I think you are the best placed in this school to know the last thing I wish for in the world is to destroy him.

\- Oh, really? Funny, because according to him, you're trying to destroy everything that's around him."

His classmate's lips curved into a fond smile, and he answered, with so much sincerity Kaoru wondered why Sakuma dated such a psychopath:

"Is it that wrong to want the man you love just for you?"

_...Yes?! Yes it is! Damn, how can one be so clueless about how things work?!_

"Wow," he finally whispered. "I can't believe you're _that much_ of an egoist. Thanks, Tenshouin. I have my answer."

He looked at the class's door, and turned one last time towards the Emperor:

"Fortunately, whiny kids never end up with what they want, in the end."

So he left the classroom, while his band mate was coming in. Sakuma looked more tired than ever, and Kaoru placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't even understand why you let him do that," he whispered, before going to the 2-A class so he could have his lunch with Souma.

That day, practice was cancelled. He was in front of UNDEAD's practice room, accompanied by Adonis and Koga, and saw Sakuma's note on the door, saying he cancelled practice that day and he would be resting in his coffin instead. The thing was unnerving, and Kaoru was in no mood to deal with it.

"Seriously? Before I started getting serious about practicing he wouldn't cancel it for me." He kicked the door, and tried opening it. To his surprised, it worked. "...I don't know about the two of you, but I'm not buying this cancelling thing."

The other too accepted his untold offer, and even without their leader, that day, they decided to practice anyway, with all their strength, no matter what the so-called vampire would say. So, once they were over, the three of them went to the light music club, and Koga kicked the coffin, in a rage Kaoru had never seen him exteriorize before.

"Hey, shitty vampire-thing! You'd better wake up and get out of that shit or I swear I'm dropping it from the window, with you inside!"

Unexpectedly, he didn't even receive a «calm down, doggie» as an answer. He didn't receive any answer, at all. So, he kicked in it again, swearing from the bottom of his heart, and ended up opening it, ready to punch their leader. Yet, when he opened the coffin, it was completely empty of any Sakuma.

"...He did write he would be here, didn't he?" Koga barked, and Kaoru confirmed.

"He did. I wonder why he's not here..."

He couldn't be with Tenshouin, could he? Not when the latter put him in such a state he looked more like a decaying zombie than like a sleepy vampire.

"Brother-thingy," they heard, from outside of the clubroom, "you know, you should get away, at least for a while. I like him, and I don't care about your relation with him, but you're going to kill yourself if it goes on."

The second-year students looked at each other, as if they were wondering what was going on, and Kaoru groaned, before he went and opened the room's door.

"Oh, hey, if it isn't our lying leader and his brother?"

While Ritsu was trying to convince them Sakuma wasn't his brother by groaning it while pouting, Rei looked at him with an exhausted smile, and told him:

"Kaoru, I don't think it's a good time to talk, can you wait another day? Or two? Or a week? Or like, forever?"

He shrugged, and turned towards the inside of the room, ready to leave - he was expected home, that night, since Satomi had told him she'd teach him to cook a new recipe, that night, and explained:

"Oh, I don't care. But I think Doggie and Adonis deserve explanations. I might be wrong, though," he shrugged, leaving the room for a second.

Ritsu smiled at him, thanking him for what he was doing, and Kaoru asked him about that thing that had been bothering him for a while:

"Say, you do seem to care about him, so why are you acting as if you hated him?"

He was a little worried, to be honest, and considered Sakuma had enough problems for now.

"He did hurt me in the past," he simply answered. "He knows it. Maybe just not _how much_ it hurt. He probably has realized and I think it's why he's trying to be so overprotective - that's disgusting, to be honest - but...

\- You can't just pardon him like that, huh?"

The young man nodded, and added:

"It's gonna take a little more time. I want to be able to pardon him, but we're not there yet, neither him or I," he said.

Then, the younger of the brothers turned towards one of the ends of the corridor, and smiled as a red tornado ran towards him to take him in his arms.

"Ritsu ~ ! Are you ready to go home?"

The younger of the Sakuma brothers peaked into the light music room.

"I think I am. UNDEAD will probably take care of thingy. If it's dead, don't bring it home, please," he precised, "that would be even more of a bother."

Kaoru nodded, letting him go with Mao, and went back to the light music room. Doggie wasn't letting Sakuma say a word, while Adonis was desperately trying to calm him, but to no avail. So, the blond pushed Koga away from their leader, and ignored him when he started trying to bark louder. He invited Sakuma to sit on his coffin, and, while Adonis was sitting on the chair facing it, Kaoru forced the angry dog to sit on the ground.

"Alright, so something happened, didn't it?"

The smile on Sakuma's face was so sad it squeezed his heart, and it hurt, because it seemed it wasn't just that he didn't like when girls were sad; he didn't like it when _anyone_ was sad.

"I'd like to say «no» but I guess I can't lie anymore, can I," the dark-haired leader started.

"You look tired and very sad," Adonis stated, as if it was the most natural thing.

Kaoru cringed, telling himself it would probably be time for them to try and teach him some subtleties about their language - for example, that you don't need to say such things to people's faces, especially when they're away of it - but tried to stay calm. It wasn't the moment for that, there was a more important matter to be discussed.

"Alright, care to talk about it?"

He heard Doggie growl, and slapped him. He could understand staying sat there was annoying, but he felt like it was important that the whole band was there, to support their leader.

"I don't know to what extent I'll be able to talk about it, but let's just try." He closed his eyes, and breathed in. "Okay, so, to make it short, the Emperor is after UNDEAD's asses. Mine in particular, and that shouldn't have been a problem if he could understand that you can _not_ possess someone.

\- Can you speak clearly, old man? We don't have all day."

He sighed:

"I told you guys already, but Eichi wants us to disband, and he's pretty determined. He wants me for himself, and I've been trying to show him I'm not a bird you can put in a cage; but he doesn't care about it. He doesn't understand how much UNDEAD is dear to me, and how I'd rather die than having it disband."

Koga had finally calmed down, and looked at Sakuma with big, round eyes, before looking away.

"Ah~, what's that leader," he said, "we're supposed to be the school's rebels and all, you're not supposed to say things like «I love you guys», dammit.

\- I didn't say it.

\- You meant it.

\- I still mean it."

Another swearing disappeared in Doggie's throat, and Kaoru decided to get back on track:

"So, he's trying to find a way to get rid of us. Why?

\- Because you're in the path for him to have me for himself.

\- That's insane, you know that? You should run away before it's too late.

\- I'm not running away. I'll face him. I'll face him the best way I can. I've been thinking about it a lot, but I need all of you to face him."

He was playing with his fingers, trying his best to look in their eyes, but he wasn't doing very well on that point. He seemed either tired or frightened, and whichever it was, it wasn't good at all.

"Yet you didn't come to practice today," Adonis pointed out.

"I had a talk with him, and I was trying to think about the best thing to do. I thought about lots of ways to improve our performances, about what to do. About how to show him we won't let him get us down. And I tried doing that during the day, which is why I look more like a zombie than a vampire.

\- You were with Ritsu, just before," Koga growled, while obviously trying not to punch something or someone.

"That's luck, I guess. He said Eichi had told him about his plans, and he wanted me know about it. I couldn't refuse, you see? Because my dear little brother was taking care of me~. What an adorable child."

While Kaoru was trying to keep for himself the fact that his brother treated him as if he was part of the decorations, and called him «it», once again, the calmer of their juniors pointed something out.

"Sakuma, you used to call the Emperor «Tenshouin», why did you start calling him by his first name?"

It was probably just out of curiosity, but it looked like the truth had hit Sakuma right in the face, and he turned towards his classmate. Kaoru shrugged: he hadn't said anything, at least he had done his best so he could keep it secret, and he couldn't be hold responsible for a thing the younger one had understood by himself.

"I... It's...

\- Come on, the whole school knows there's something between the two of you. Stop being a coward, and maybe that asshole wouldn't try to come and claim you for himself. Look, Souma and Kaoru never hid, and that never prevented them from keeping their friends," the grey-haired student voiced, and the blond thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest and fly very very far away.

But it was true: there had never been possessive problems between the two of them, yet they hadn't been together for very long, and even if his boyfriend was weird, he wasn't a psychopath.

"Ah... Ahaha..." he sighed. "I'm trying my best to make him understand that, too, but some people are thick-headed."

His smile looked so tired and sad Kaoru wondered if it could still be called a smile, especially with what he had just said. He wanted to tell Sakuma he should give up and just dump Tenshouin once and for all, but it seemed like the idea had never even crossed his mind.

"Are you sure you should stay with someone that can put you in such a state?" he asked. "Because if he can't understand it, then you'll have worked for nothing. Look at yourself. Look at what he did to you. Are you sure you're okay with dating a psychopath?"

This time, the vampire looked more confident, and shot him a real smile.

"It was written in the contract, after all, now I don't want to go back. I want to fight that way. I don't care if it seems useless. Somehow, I just know it'll work," he said. "Will all of you support me on that way?

\- Fuck you," Koga replied, grabbing him by his collar. "Fuck you and your stupid determination. Listen to me, you asshole: if it doesn't work, I'll make you pay me back all of our practice hours.

\- I'm glad I can count on you."

Doggie released him, and Kaoru smiled:

"You have too much to think about to take care of doggie, so you'll need me to keep his leash while you're looking away. Besides, I think we took a decision about UNDEAD the other day.

\- I knew you'd like it," Sakuma told him, and he was about to reply he didn't really like it when Adonis added:

"I'm on."

For a mere second, it looked like UNDEAD's vampire had gathered back all the energy he had lost, and had them shout a war cry. It felt like everybody was pumped up again, even himself, and he was ready to practice even more - but it probably wouldn't be a good idea, seeing how Sakuma seemed ready to collapse. He was on the verge of saying it was time for him to come home, when they heard footsteps in the corridor. Their leader ran that way, and they could hear him call:

"Eichi!"

The footsteps stopped.

"I'm gonna kick that fine ass of yours at the next Dream Festival."

Silence followed, and they all wondered what was happening, when suddenly, the Emperor's voice could be heard:

"Right, right, we'll see. Anyway, that fine ass of mine is waiting for you to look like something else than a zombie," he answered, and the dark-haired student went back in the room.

Surprised, he looked at his band mates, and started opening his coffin.

"What are you guys still doing there? Shoo, go home, you have things to do, and I have some sleep to get!" he told them, before getting in the large and decorated wooden box.

The other three left the room with not much more than a «goodbye», except for Koga who kicked in the coffin.

"You should rest as much as you can, shithead, because I won't let your shitty boyfriend bring us down."

Then, the grey-haired student walked faster than anyone could believe towards the schools entrance. Kaoru shrugged, and just kept talking with Adonis until they met Souma, who was happily waiting for them, and child-like smile on his face as he saw them having fun together.

"Oogami looked even more enraged than usual," he told them, "did something happen?

\- Sakuma's the next victim of the Emperor's," Adonis simply said, and Kaoru couldn't help but think it wasn't exact at all.

"Aah, I'll explain the details," he said, "but yeah, basically, that's what happened," he confirmed.

_And whatever you prepare, Tenshouin, remember we're ready to kick your ass._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, as always ~


	10. Chapter 10

The next few days, Kaoru didn't see Tenshouin come to class at all. He didn't get to see a glimpse of Sakuma, either, and got a little worried; but through Keito, he learnt that his classmate was being treated at the hospital, and that Sakuma had just called to say he wasn't feeling well enough to go to class, and that it shouldn't stop UNDEAD from maintaining their practice sessions. The blond nodded, and was ready to get back to his own matters, until Akatsuki's leader stopped him, looking at him right in the eyes.

"I know it has nothing to do with what we were just discussing, but I would like to remind you that, if you dare hurting Souma, if you make him sad, or anything, I'll kick your ass so hard you'll regret ever getting born in this world."

_I already regret being born in this world_ , he couldn't help but think. But only a few people were aware of that point, to be honest.

"Understood, sir. Anything else I should know?

\- Yes," another voice confirmed, and he suddenly straightened, "And it's that I, too, will make ya regret any hardship you impose on Souma."

He gulped. It wasn't like he had ever had any intention to hurt in boyfriend in the first place, but Hasumi and Kiryu were like over-protective adoptive parents towards their junior, and apparently, they were a little more strict than his real ones. He feared those two much more than the couple that let him live by their sides, to be honest.

"Alright," he said, not able to chill even a little, and added: "I don't have any intention to hurt him, but in case I do it anyway, I'll receive my punishment," he finally answered, bowing.

_I'm a masochist._ But if he wanted to stay with Souma, he had to make with it, and he _really_ wanted to stay with Souma. He was going to leave the room, when the subject of the discussion entered the class, a smile on his lips. Kaoru opened his arms, but he felt threatening looks on his back, and didn't dare looking behind him. He'd probably die on the spot, if he didn't have his boyfriend in his arms.

"Oh, Lord Hasumi, Lord Kiryu!" he enthusiastically called, and the tension got a little lighter.

"Souma, how are you?

\- I couldn't be better," he said, his eyes turning towards Kaoru, who couldn't help his smile. "I know both of you are worried for me, but you don't need to," he kindly scolded.

"You do know he's the Don Juan of this school, don't you?"

Souma rose an eyebrow, and turned towards Kaoru.

"Oh my. You're a playboy? Never knew that. I mean, I never heard anybody say how much you love girls and all. So, how many girls have you been with, while you were in my bed?"

Understanding the game, he replied with a smile.

"Oh, I'm not really sure, have you seen any of them? I can't even remember their faces. Damn, what a Don Juan I am. I always need a pretty someone to sleep in my arms. Every night. Look at me, I have someone in my arms again."

The other two sighed, but Kaoru knew he wasn't totally safe. He probably would never be, unless those two decided to stop being complementary parents for their friend.

"Alright," Kiryu said, patting Hasumi's head. "We know Keito like to spoil our baby, but I'm not forgetting what I said, and you shouldn't, either," he told the blond, who felt chills down his spine.

"As I said, I understood, and promise, I won't forget it," he confirmed.

_Especially not when the two of you could kill me on the spot if I were to do any mistake._ He shook his head, and went back to his place, where he was supposed to have lunch with his lover.

"Sorry about them," Souma apologized, while taking a chair to sit across the table. "I can't believe they took you apart just for that.

\- Actually, they didn't take me apart," Souma raised an eyebrow again. "I was asking Hasumi about Sakuma and Tenshouin. He told me they were both feeling bad, and I don't really like it. I can understand Tenshouin having to go to the hospital, but Sakuma being sick right at the same time?

\- He probably called in sick so he could stay with the Emperor," the younger guessed, taking his lunchbox and opening it.

"You're probably right, but... Sakuma seemed like he was on the verge of break-up, I'm sure there's something else."

Instead of answering, Souma placed a piece of food into his mouth, as if he didn't want to hear more. He could understand that, and took his time to eat before saying anything else.

"Why don't you call him, or send him a message?" the second-year finally told him. "And you should eat, too. I know you're preoccupied but you're looking like a zombie, lately, and I'm a little scared for you."

He stayed silent. Oh, so he had noticed. He tried smiling, but that probably wasn't very convincing, because Souma only gave him a jaded look, and a second piece of food. So, he took his own lunchbox, and ate what was inside. He was thinking about thousands of stuff at the same time, lately, but at least, he was happy he finally got to eat delicious meals, prepare with love.

"I'll try and go to sleep earlier, tonight, maybe it'll help," he said.

"You probably should try to stop looking for solutions for absolutely everything around you, in particular. And your nightmares seem less frequent," there was a smile on his boyfriend's face at that moment, and as each time, it made his heart beat a litle faster, "I guess they'll disappear soon."

He was probably right, his nightmare were frequent - he had those every night on the first week after he had left home, but started making dreams once to three times a week, which was a huge progress - but he wouldn't have to bear with it all his life. But on the other point...

"Sakuma did a lot for me, to help me see what I couldn't. He gave me lots of advices and helped me open my mind. And, in the end, he was the one who helped me accept I was in love with you," he admitted.

Wait, why was Souma blushing? And why was he looking away? Had he... _Did I say something embarrassing?_

"Ah, shut up, still not used to it," he said, trying to calm down. "It feels like I can't hear you express your feelings without blushing. That's embarrassing," he laughed, too.

_Oh._ Fuck, he was too cute. He couldn't bear with this, how was he supposed to stay alive with a boyfriend _that_ adorable? He could feel judgmental looks on him, but he looked back at Souma's adoptive parents with a jaded look. The only response he got was another piece of food in his mouth, and he had to swallow it before he would be able to talk again.

"Honestly, how can you say things that intimate when my parents are in the room," the purple-haired student continued.

"They're not-

\- I'm talking about Lord Hasumi and Lord Kiryu.

\- Oh, _those_ parents. Well, I don't care that they're in the room or not," he said. "I don't care if they heard it. ...Do you?"

He had to wait a whole minute before getting an answer, but he could understand that - himself wouldn't have known what to answer if it was asked that suddenly.

"I think I don't? Maybe they need to hear it, after all. They like to treat me like a child but I'm only one year younger...

\- Yes, but you can be dangerous, sometimes. Like that time when you came to school riding your horse."

He looked away, and whispered what the blond identified as «It'snotmyfaultifmodernjapanisn'tthoughtforhorse,hewasafraid,thepoorbabydidn'tlikethesoundofthecars». It made Kaoru smile and, he had to admit one point:

"That's one of the things I like about you.

\- What?

\- You have your own point of view on how things work," he casually said, finishing his lunch, before he looked outside. "The weather is clear and we have time, we should take a walk in the park."

To be honest, he wasn't used not to go out, and he had been staying in closed spaces for a while, now. His life had changed on numerous points, but it had been a little sudden, and it felt like he was starting to suffocate - between his nightmares, Sakuma's attitude, and the fact he had stopped dating girls every night and started to go to both club activities and practice, there was a lot of things on his mind. And Souma's words had confirmed at least him was aware of it. So, he hope he'd say yes, hesitating on suggesting for either Kanata or Adonis to accompany them.

"Let's do so. I feel like we haven't been _really_ alone for a while."

_Oh. Right. When we're home there's his family, and when we're at school there are the other students. I wanted us to spend some time with the others, but..._

"That's right. I had in mind to bring someone with us but... You're right. We haven't been alone for a while."

Souma nodded, and after he had finished his own lunch and they had put their things in their bags, the two of them went to take a walk in the park. There were a few people here and there, but most of them were on the benches around the fountain, where their Club President was happily resting, almost silent «bubble, bubble»'s as a background music. Kaoru almost stepped on Sakuma's little brother while they were in the flower garden, but as soon as they were far enough, there were only the two of them. No weirdo to appear suddenly, no Tenshouin to drive them crazy, no Sakuma to drain anyone's energy. Nobody to come and talk to them.

They sat on the grass, looking all around them, and discussing about unimportant things, taking their time just for them. And it felt good. It felt like it was another world, far from the stress, far from the constant shouting, far from all the questions he usually asked himself. It was silent. In his head, too, it was silent. There were just Souma and him, alone in there, and nothing else existed.

They ended up lying in the ground, against each other, hand in hand. It was weird, because he would thought he only liked contact if it was to be pampered by women was letting his boyfriend touch him constantly. He thought he hated the contact of men, when in the end, it was reassuring, and feeling so good. Actually, he even had realized he _wanted_ to be constantly in contact with Souma, and that he felt better when they were touching, even just a little, even so casually, for no reason, just because they would be side by side, or when they were asleep, his junior's ear against his heart.

"Look, that cloud looks like a fish," the second-year student blurted.

He tried to look at the cloud, and laughed. His point of view was a little different.

"It looks like Kanata's head, to me.

\- It's almost the same," his junior laughed, and he couldn't help but burst out of laughter too.

"You're right, except fishes can swim better," he added.

"Maybe he'll be able to swim as well as them, one day," the younger one sing-sang.

"How is he doing with his swimming lessons?

\- He has stopped sinking, and he can at least swim like a small dog.

\- What, you used Koga's dog to show him?"

He felt a very light punch on his shoulder, and laughed.

"Nah, I'm bad with enraged puppies.

\- Leon is quite calm, though.

\- But Lord Oogami isn't."

They laughed again, and he took a deep breath. It felt good, fleeing from all their problems once in a while. He would have fallen asleep if he could have. But he had to stay awake. Why, already...? A kiss on his cheek brought him back to his senses, and Souma's face hid the sun. And it was alright, because he liked it better like that. They exchanged a kiss, a long, but relaxed one. And another, and another. His boyfriend was lying on him, now, and he had started caressing his back.

He knew that feeling well enough to know what it was, and he definitely couldn't go back to class in that state. Definitely, this man had effects nobody had ever had on him, and he didn't hate it _at all_. And each time their kisses deepened, and each time his hand was clutching a little more on Souma's shirt. And he would have gotten rid of it if they weren't in the middle of their school's park, or if at least his partner was experienced. He'd have to calm down, because it was still too early, because he wanted to take his time. He knew he'd need patience with Souma, but Souma also knew he'd need time too. After all, in a way, they were both new to the experience.

In the end, they didn't go farther than a few caresses, and just kept lying there, in each other's arms, taking profit from the light of the sun. It felt good, just staying like that, and Kaoru discovered he liked peaceful places. He appreciated the silence, and he loved the proximity. It was the calmest of places, and the most relaxing thing he had had the chance to do in a while. A little farther away, he could hear voices, that he was unable to recognize right now (he didn't want to recognize them, to be honest, he preferred staying alone with his lover), saying that they looked peaceful, and the other one answering that he'd love for them to be able to spend time like that. The voices went away, leaving them alone, and neither of them moved before they heard - and felt - something sniffing them.

Souma raised his head, and started laughing, and Kaoru wondered why. So, he opened his eyes, and was surprised to discover Leon and Daikichi, happy to discover people on the ground. One of the two - he wasn't able to see which one - licked his face, making his boyfriend laugh even harder, and both of them sat on the ground, the younger one having fun with the Shiba, while the small corgi was watching Kaoru, as if he was waiting for something from him. He petted Leon's head and looked at his band mate.

"Koga, please, give me a tissue," he asked.

"Huh? Why would I give you one?

\- Because it's your dog who licked my face," he stated, still keeping the very impressive beast in his arms.

The small dog seemed super happy, and asked for pets, more pets, always more and more pets, which the blond gave him as much as he could with only one hand, the other waiting for a tissue.

"No way," Doggie said, so Kaoru turned towards the other dog's master. "Subaru! Do you have a tissue?

\- I do, it's 98yen each," he casually said, throwing a ball for his dog.

"98? For only one?

\- Yep.

\- Wasn't it 70yen, last time?

\- It was, but you know, the inflation, and the taxes...

\- Since when do you impose taxes..."

The younger one just smiled, and went to run with Souma and the _shiba_ , and soon enough, Leon ran to join them.

"Okay, back to you, Doggie," he stated.

He saw Koga roll his eyes and hand him a tissue, and rubbed his face with it, before handing it back to his band mate.

"What?

\- It's a present.

\- Nope. You're throwing it away yourself.

\- Not fun~. Still, what if it's the punition for disturbing my moment alone with Souma?" he tried.

After all, the only thing he was losing was time.

"Are you turning into Sakuma?!" the so-called wolf angrily asked.

"Heh, I would be hurt, only being able to live during the night and not see the sun again... Not for me. Leave that to the vampire and his psychopath of a boyfriend," he stated, smiling at the view.

"Yeah... Anyway, sorry for the disturbance. We didn't know you guys were here, or we would have gone elsewhere."

He nodded, and got up.

"Well, he seems to have a lot of fun, so I believe it's not a problem."

Koga shrugged, and went to play with the others, followed by his senior, who was just a little bit more reticent, but not completely against the idea. In the end, he was the one to spend the most time with the pets, and played with them a lot more than he'd have thought. They were cute, and fun. Maybe he'd adopt a dog, one day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, have a nice day ♪


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: bad puns

It took another week for Sakuma to come back to school, and though he looked a little bit better than the last time they had met, he still seemed quite pale, but at least, he had some motivation. On that point, he seemed on fire, and everyone had a hard time to follow him during practice, but still managed not to do too much mistakes. After all, except for their leader, they had kept practicing as much as possible and Sakuma seemed quite proud of it.

It was very different from what UNDEAD used to be. Less disordered, but still with the same passion and strength, and wilderness. They needed to be perfect for the next Dream Festival, even more perfect than perfection itself. And there was another reason than just beating fine in that match. Because it meant they'd get a new chance to compete against Akatsuki, and Kaoru was determined to show Souma what he was capable of. He wanted to show his boyfriend he wasn't just a stray dog, he was not only the sexiest of stray dogs, but together with the other weirdoes that were the members of his band, they were the best of units.

And while they were trying to get in sync on a particular step they just all missed, but never at the same time, and laughing about how much they failed at it, while he was trying not to miss a single step, while they just all ended up laughing, on the floor, out of tiredness and because they thought they needed a pause if they couldn't even get coordinated on their mistake, Sakuma poking his ribs and telling him he seemed to have fattened even just a little (and he had, the servings in the Kanzaki family were way larger than in his own, and his boyfriend's mother always insisted that he was too thin and he should take at least a little more food), he understood something.

"Hey, Sakuma," he called.

"Yeah, what is it?

\- I'm with you on keeping UNDEAD alive after we graduate."

The self-proclaimed vampire spit his water out of laughter, and Kaoru has to ask why.

"Haha, «Keeping UNDEAD alive», I love this kind of sentences," the leader told him, and he laughed, too.

"Yeah, you understood what I meant.

\- Ah, of course I did. But will the younglings follow us? I wonder~."

He took a look at the two other members, and smiled.

"They're good kids. Of course they will," he said, "Doggie would miss your bullying him if he couldn't meet you anymore."

Sakuma smiled, and answered:

"Ah, you're right. Let's just do that."

Kaoru couldn't believe his friend was literally whistling Doggie so he could have his attention, and Adonis just followed, because that was how he was. A very intimidating face for a very soft way of thinking.

"Hey, what do you think we'd keep," Kaoru saw him prevent himself from laughing, "«UNDEAD alive» even next year, and the years after?" their leader suggested, with a very kind and calm smile.

The other two were surprised, but Adonis answer:

"But it won't be possible, will it? Because of the school's system, and you have to study, and..."

Sakuma smiled softly, and replied:

"What I want to do after graduating is keeping UNDEAD going, making it grow, and all. And our dear Kaoru told me he wanted to do so. What are your opinions?"

Koga seemed a little angry, and Kaoru was ready to hear him shout and try to keep him as calm as possible, but the only thing he said was:

"Hah? I should keep being bullied by the vampire?"

To which Sakuma laughed, before he precised:

"I can cut it, you know. Not right now, because I want to bother you a little more, but...

\- Tsk. Whatever. I don't care. I like UNDEAD. At least I can be myself, here," he said, and Kaoru took that as a «yes».

"What about you, Adonis?" the leader asked, "Do you want to continue, or would you rather concentrate on the things you still need to learn about Japan and its culture?"

The second-year student seemed a little bit annoyed, but, after a moment, clicked his tongue, and replied:

"I think I can do both at the same time. It's with, uh... Ex... Exspearance...?

\- Experience?

\- Experience, that you learn new things. If UNDEAD really grows larger, then we might be uh, presented? to new things, and I want to take these opportunities to learn. More.

\- You were maybe looking for the word «confronted», weren't you?" the dark-haired vampire said, and Kaoru realised how attentive he was with the young man.

Actually, Sakuma probably was like that with everyone, he just hadn't noticed it. Yet, the man was the one who supported him the most, and was the most worried one when he had problems. So, he chuckled, and let out a:

"Ah, he's in vampire mom mode again~."

Adonis tilted his head, and rubbed his neck. He seemed a bit confused, and Kaoru could understand why. But in the end, he told them.

"I would like to keep going with UNDEAD."

A smile appeared on his seniors' faces, and it seemed to make him happy, because he had an awkward-looking expression, and Kaoru got up on his feet, to push his lips in the right position.

"It's like that, to smile," he said, before smiling himself. "Like that!"

He seemed to make an effort, and it looked a little less awkward, but he wasn't there yet. At least, the intention was clear.

"Well, that'll do," the blond laughed, "I guess you'll be able to do it naturally some day. It's a little sad, though, that you never really smiled."

Adonis rubbed his neck, and his cheeks reddened.

"Well, I used to when I was a child, but I guess a little too much happened while I was uh, a, «teenager»?"

Kaoru nodded, and so did Sakuma.

"It's alright," he said. "You'll get accustomed to about everything, and the day you can smile on stage, fans will just be even fonder of you. They already are," he stated, and it was the truth.

He had dated quite a few girls (sometimes more than one at the same time) between their fans, and some of them had told him how they thought Adonis was mysterious, and sexy, and attractive, and how he was so lucky to be his friend, while Kaoru was trying to hide the fact the Indian still had difficulties with some words and the writing system.

"You think so?

\- I know so," Kaoru confirmed, and judging by his own Guide to Adonis's Expressions, he seemed happy to hear it.

"Anyway, I'm proud of you all," Sakuma said, and they got up on their feet, "but we still have work to do. I'm counting on you to show all the other units we're ready to face them."

The other members shouting in response, and practice started again. In a month and a half, they'd show _fine_ what a band was.

* * *

He didn't have any strength when he opened the door to the club, and flopped on the couch. Souma wasn't there yet, but Kanata was, drinking tea from a well-decorated cup, that Kaoru could recognize as one of the Tea Club's.

"Hello, Kaoru! You seem like you had a lot of fun," the blue-haired man sing-sang, and he smiled.

"I did." He rectified his position, and asked: "Did someone from the Tea Club bring us tea?"

The Club President nodded, and said:

"There are two notes for you", he explained, giving them to him. "One is from Hasumi, the other from the younger Sakuma."

So he started by his unofficial mother-in-law's note, knowing it'd be both the longest and the hardest one.

«Dear Kaoru.

I heard you were spotted with Souma in the gardens this noon, and I hope you didn't do any incorrect thing to him, or I swear I'll tear your eyes out of there orbs and make you eat them.

Since there has been no proof of anything, I didn't poison your tea, but be careful. I have the means to make you regret any mistake of yours.

Please enjoy your tea,

Hasumi Keito.»

He didn't really know if he was supposed to be afraid, terrified, or wanting to turn into a mouse and hide somewhere in the school's walls, but he just closed the note and try to do as if he hadn't read anything, before glancing at the cups of tea. He really hoped it was true, and that none of the cups were poisoned. Then, he remembered there was a second note, and opened it.

«Kaoru, thanks for taking care of thingy. He looks a little better. Maybe, by the end of the year, I'll be able to talk with him again. Also I'm a little envious of your relationship with Kanzaki.»

The last word seemed written in haste, but Kaoru guessed his leader's younger brother was just falling asleep while writing, and smiled. He was a little intrigued, though, because why would Ritsu be envious of his relationship with Souma? It made no sense. So, he shook his head, and took one of the cups of tea, looking at it. He wasn't very fond of the drink, yet people loved to give him some - if he really had to be honest, he was beginning to like it, at least the one Satomi made. He'd take a coffee back home... And in the worst of cases he could just give it to his club mates.

"So, what are my tasks, today?" he asked.

"Souma wants to teach you how to feed Kamegorou," he happily explained. "Isn't it great?"

He wasn't sure it was supposed to be something particularly «great», but he knew how protective his boyfriend was with his turtle. Some nights, he had even caught him watching documentaries about turtles, and cry, hugging his turtle plushie. The first time, he hadn't said anything and had gone back to bed, but the next ones, he had come with his lover, to try and comfort him - and also to try and understand why he cried. The conclusion he had reached was that Souma just loved the creatures _that much_ , and that no other explanation was necessary.

"It's awesome," he finally answered, a smile on his lips.

"I'm so glad you finally became friends!" the Club President declared, and he had to explain:

"It's a little more than that, Kanata.

\- Oh! It's even better!"

Kanata, as always, looked uselessly happy, but that was how the guy was. He even wondered which planet he came from, because he was so secret about everything, and was able to look like a happy child even when scolding or threatening people, and somehow, Kaoru found him terrifying. Luckily, he hadn't been like that since he had started dating Souma, and in a way, he was happy about it. _So many people are gonna want my death if I ever hurt him!_ It was frightening, but he decided to keep it for himself.

"So, how are things going with Ryuuseitai?" he asked, biting his cheek not to talk about his friend's swimming lessons.

The blue-haired student looked at him with surprised eyes, and finally answered:

"Very great! We're «preparing» our new «song»," he said, wobbling happily on the sofa. "We're trying to «cheer» Midori up, but he still looks sad and «uncomfortable». We don't really «know» what to do..."

_Release him, maybe_ , he thought. Yet, it would cause troubles, a lot of them, and also, Tenshouin seemed to be the only one to decide about everything concerning the units. From what he had heard, even the other members of the student council were hardly authorized to say anything about that. So, he sighed, and just shrugged. This unit was just made of happy children who wanted to have fun, and had taken someone with them by mistake.

"Can't wait to hear the new song," Kaoru smiled, and saw the club door open.

A second later, Souma was flopping on the sofa, his head on Kaoru's knees.

"Hello, Souma!" Kanata greeted, his naive smile still in place on his face. "I told Kaoru the exciting news."

The only response their Club President got was a muffled moan. Kaoru was pretty sure there was a word, in it, but he was unable to understand it, and just slipped his hand in his lover's hair.

"Kanata said you wanted to teach me how to feed Kamek-gorou," he explained, "but you seem too dead to even stand on your feet."

So, the younger one turned towards his seniors, and, looking exhausted, told them something like:

"Let me rest anhourort..."

And fell asleep. What could have happened for him to be so tired? Souma had a lot of stamina, and easily surpassed his seniors on that point. So why would he be so tired? Did the other two harrass him with questions? He hoped not, they were already protective enough with him. Was there something else, then? He knew Hasumi was Tenshouin's childhood friend, but he was a cold-blooded one, usually.

"Souma," the Club President's voices sounded sad, and he looked uncomfortable. "If you have to sleep, I need to feed the fishies," he said, and the second-year student finally got up - just long enough for Kanata to get up too, before he laid again, his head still resting on his boyfriend's knees.

"Are you sure you don't want to go home?" Kaoru asked, checking his temperature - there was no fever, luckily.

The answer to his question was a single nod, so he let Souma rest a little more, telling him basic things about his day, and his practice with UNDEAD. He also told him what Kanata had said, checking all of his reactions. In the end, the purple-haired students finally managed to talk:

"I don't know what happened," he said, "but Lord Hasumi said he was very busy, and he probably wouldn't be able to come to all practices, so he showed us every part we needed to work on, and had us work double as hard. He said it was how practices were going to be as long as Tenshouin wasn't back, and I don't know if I can survive this."

He looked pretty annoyed, but the blond knew he'd still thoroughly come to each and every practice and give his everything, every time. It was important, for him.

"I can understand he's gonna have difficulties dealing with both, but shouldn't he be the one to practice harder while you can also practice by yourselves?" he asked.

"Oh, we're supposed to train harder, too. Kaoru, what is happening? Why is everyone so tense, lately?"

_That's a good question. And I don't like it either. If it goes on, Tenshouin will have won. This is not right._

"I don't know the reason, but I know it shouldn't stay like this. We're all gonna have troubles if it does. I can understand Sakuma's reasons, and we have all accepted them. But... I wonder if Tenshouin's not fearing his own death. If he doesn't want the school to turn into a chaos, one last time, before he leaves this world.

\- You think he's not gonna last long?

\- That's what Sakuma said. I think we should be prepared, but we also should care about the others."

He wanted to add something else, but saw the sad smile on Kanata's face, and wondered what could have gone wrong, so suddenly, with him. Luckily, he didn't even need to ask before he got his answer:

"A lot of us are «leaving» this school in a very few «months»," he said, "You, me, your «leader», Chiaki, Hasumi and Kiryu, even the «Emperor» himself. In each and every «unit», there is at «least» one third-year student," he explained, and Kaoru understood where he was going. "I think everybody's fearing what is going to happen after that."

_I guess the units are going to be disbanded, and they'll create new ones..._ It wasn't a really happy ending, no wonder people would fear it.

"You're probably right," Kaoru nodded, and he looked at his very tired boyfriend. "Poor you, now I understand why the Tea Club sent us some of its tea," he added. "Hasumi wanted to apologize."

He heard a muffled answer, but Souma's face was hidden by his clothes, and he was unable to understand any word of it.

"Can you repeat, please?"

Souma took an inspiration, and lifted his head:

"It's because Lord Hasumi takes great care of me," he said. "For once, I needed it. I hope he didn't poison yours," he added.

"He said he didn't, but I'm still frightened," Kaoru answered, playing with his boyfriend's hair.

"You'd better be, I think, him and Lord Kiryu are wary about our being together. They even felt the need to remind me I should take care about whom I date, and why I want to date them and blah, blah, blah. Fuck that shit," Kaoru jumped, eyes wides open, _what?_ "Because of their wariness I made myself wait for _months_ before I dared declare to you, and in the end you were the one to take the first step! I'm not against their caring about me but that's too much! Even my real parents weren't that protective!"

He had never seen his boyfriend like that, and Kaoru had to admit he wasn't sure if he liked that, or if he liked it _a lot_. That was weird to see Souma in such a state. He had seen him getting angry more than once, but not _that_ way. Since when was his junior talking bad?!

"Wow. You must be very angry," he stated.

"I am! I'm sorry for the words I used, but I just can't stand it anymore! Can't they just let me happy for _five fucking minutes_?!"

Kaoru wanted to retort that he hoped it was more than just five minutes, but didn't dare saying anything, fearing it'd just make him angrier. So, he just stayed there and waited for the rant to be over, and then sighed out of relief.

"...What?" Souma asked, and he started getting frightened.

"I didn't know you could let yourself go like that. Are you feeling better, now?" he asked, and was surprised by the second-year student's sudden adorable expression.

"I think I am... Sorry for that.

\- No, no, you don't need to be sorry."

Even though Kanata had done his best to stay away from their discussion, in the end, he was looking at the turtle's tank with a worried expression. So, he dared include himself in the conversation, and said:

"I'm sorry for interrupting the both of you, but do you want me to feed Kamegorou?

\- I said I wanted to show Kaoru how it is done...

\- Can you try and lift your arm, please?"

Looking a little bewildered by the request, Souma lifted one arm. Not very high, though, it wasn't higher than his chest before he let it fall. It was enough for Kaoru to understand what it meant.

"It's alright, you'll show me tomorrow. For now you should rest, I need you alive or I'll be very sad," he said, and the chuckle that answered him made him smile.

In the end, the third-years fed all the sea creatures of the club together, talking about things and others, Kaoru finally listened to a very happy Kanata's explanation about each and every of the creatures and plants, and, once he was sure Souma had fallen asleep, he asked:

"Say... Do you know where to adopt turtles? I want to offer him the adoption for Christmas," he said, "It's the least I can do.

\- Bubble, bubble!" the other one replied, before adding: "I do "know" some "places" that let you "adopt" turtles. I'll give you the "addresses", so you can "take" him in these places and have him "choose" one of them."

That only was the best Christmas present he could get, and he thanked his Club President. He also would probably leave some clues here and there... He didn't really know. And then, something suddenly came to his mind:

"And you, Kanata, what would you like for Christmas?"

The question seemed interesting, because the constant «bubble, bubble, bubble» sound stopped, and his blue-haired president seemed to think deeply about it.

"I guess... Having both of you happy would make it!"

And he sighed, smiling:

"Kanata, we already are. I'm still feeling a little bad about my father, yes, but otherwise we're happy," he explained.

"Then it's already christmas for me!"

He looked so happy that nobody could have complained, but Kaoru was despaired. He just wanted to offer presents to his friends, or at least the rare ones he considered as his friends (basically, all of UNDEAD, and Kanata, and Souma even though he was a lot more to him). He also needed to give presents to the Kanzakis... And he had a plan for that. He wasn't forgetting anyone in it.

He just hoped it would come in time, because there was no way he wasn't going to thank all of the people around him for all they had done for him. And he probably would also bring Akatsuki's members gifts to show he wasn't ill-intended. He had been called a disgrace for too long already.

When they had finally finished with everything, Kaoru kneeled next to the sofa, and looked at his boyfriend. He smiled, and caressed his cheek, under their president's look.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," he softly called.

He really didn't want to wake Souma up, but it was late already. Unfortunately, it seemed it would take a little more than that... He sighed, and placed a kiss on his lips.

"You'll rest better when we're home," he said, but the only reaction he obtained was a mischievous smile.

"But Kamegorou is here," the purple-haired student answered with his sleepy voice.

"I know, but Kamegorou will be sad if you can't play with him because you're too tired," and the reaction was immediate.

"I can't make him sad!" Souma blurted, looking worried, suddenly sitting on the sofa. "I'm so sorry, Kamegorou!"

Kaoru smiled, watched his boyfriend go and play a little with his turtle to which he was apologizing.

"I'm sorry Kamegorou," he said again, "I'm tired today. I hope the Club President and Kaoru took care of you the right way. I'll play with you next time."

The creature didn't seem to react in any way, to Kaoru's eyes, but his junior probably saw things he didn't, because he looked very happy, and said:

"Thank you, Kamegorou. See you tomorrow."

Kaoru just smiled, and prepared their stuff while waiting for Souma to end his playing with the turtle. It lasted a little longer than he expected, and had to wait at the entry of the club.

"Oh, you're going "home" too, Kaoru?" the President asked, looking surprised.

The blond wondered how his friend could be so late on the informations, but maybe he was just too much of an air-head. So, he messed the blue hair, and answered.

"Remember that message I sent you, that made you worried? I've been living at the Kanzakis' since then. They treat me very well."

Kanata didn't seem to understand it all, because he tilted his head.

"But, how come you ended up there?

\- It's a long story, Kanata. And it's not very fun. But there is a very good thing in it.

\- What is it?"

Kaoru looked at his sleepy boyfriend, who looked a little sad he had to go without being able to spend more time with his turtle, and smiled.

"Love."

The word seemed to make Souma react, and Kaoru saw his cheeks redden, and in a second, the second-year student's hand was on his katana. He probably realised what he was on the verge of doing, because suddenly, his expression changed, and he put his hand off his sword.

"Are you alright, Souma?

\- Ah, yes... I was going to try to cut you in halves because I felt embarrassed, but I forgot we were together," he stated, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "I'm still drowsy.

\- You didn't need to precise that point for us to understand it," Kaoru laughed, and he took his lover's hand. "Let's go home."

His junior nodded, and both of them said goodbye to their still surprised Club President. Did they break him? He wondered. He didn't really like letting him alone, especially after having spent so little time in the club, but he didn't feel like carrying Souma on his back all the way - he was tired, too, and he knew that the next time they'd have to face each other on the stage, it would be on a whole new level.

"The club president didn't seem to get what you meant," Souma told him, with an amused tone in his voice.

"He's probably trying to figure out how the you who's tried to cut me so many times and the me who spends his time picking on you could have «love» in common," he wondered, and though Souma didn't gave him any concrete answer, he knew it probably just sounded weird from their friend's point of view. "Anyway, I checked the programs, on TV, and there's a long documentary about marine life, tonight. Should we watch it together?"

Next to him, he saw his boyfriend's eyes begin to sparkle, and somehow, even if it wouldn't last very long, he felt like his lover would be very much awake until he'd have completely registered the information.

"But are you sure? I know you're not really passionate about it all, and..."

He shrugged.

"I just never really watched it before. But to be honest, I don't hate it, it's even interesting. I think about the fact all those creatures are under my feet when I surf, and it just sounds...

\- Incredible?

\- I was gonna say "amazing" but yeah, that's the idea," he smiled.

He would just keep for himself the fact that Souma couldn't help explaining him tons and tons of things about the creatures, and that he had kept in mind the informations that interested him the most: which ones were adoptable, and which ones he preferred. Exactly the things he needed to know. He wouldn't admit, though, that it was also because he liked that they spent the evening in each other's arms, cuddling on the sofa, under a warm blanket. Duh, he wasn't an old man, after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait ~ As always, thanks for reading ♥


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys ~ This chapter's explicitly nsfw, so please read at your own discretion ~

Kaoru spent a whole hour watching the snow fall through the window. He was completely tired, but he knew Ryouta would come and ask him for his bedtime story in a few minutes, so he had to wait a little more. He felt a little nostalgic. After all, if it snowed, it meant winter holidays were approaching, but for some reason, it made him nostalgic. He had no real reason for it, to be honest. But he always felt bad during that season.

This one was even worse, because there was not much time left before the Dream Festival. It would be the opening ceremony for the last schoolterm, and Sakuma had planned practices all over the holidays, preventing any of them from going anywhere. Well, it wasn't like he would be able to, anyway. Or like they didn't need it. But he was starting to wonder if his leader had made the right choice. If he really wanted to show Tenshouin what defeat was.

He pondered for a while, before someone knocked at the door, and he smiled, knowing why. Souma's little brother looked at him with stars in his eyes - he had learnt it would soon be the boy's birthday, so he had started preparing a little something for him. Ryouta had asked him if he would stil be with them for that day, to what Kaoru had answered there was no way he would miss the birthday, keeping for himself that, of course, it didn't depend only on him.

"Big brother Kaoru!" the youngling said, and the blond went to greet him.

Ryouta had started calling him «big brother» some time ago, after he had thought about it for very long. The boy had decided he was still like a big-brother-ish figure, even though everyone in the family had made sure he understood very well what the two student's relationship was, and to be honest, Kaoru liked it a lot.

"I was waiting for you," he smiled, and asked: "So, do you know what we're reading tonight?"

The boy shook his head, a lost look on his face.

"We finished The Samurai and the Sorcerer's story, yesterday, with Souma," he said, "and I feel sad because I liked it a lot. I felt attached to the characters."

The thing amused him, and he tried to find a way to reassure the kid without telling him two of the characters were supposed to be his brother and him.

"Don't worry, Ryouta. They're still there, in your heart. The story still exists, and I know Souma can tell it over and over again."

"Really?

\- Of course," he smiled, and took the child's hand. "Let's go and find a new story."

The kid seemed super happy, and Kaoru wondered if he would ever fall asleep - he looked a little bit too excited for this, though it was cute. Still, the child was kind, and quickly went to bed, being all ears for the new story Kaoru told him - it was a samurai story, a book the blond had bought for the young boy a few days earlier, while they were coming back from school. As usual, Ryouta asked a lot of questions during the story, and, once it was over, asked a new thing:

"Big brother Kaoru," he said, a worried look on his face. "Are you staying with us forever?"

The young man blinked, surprised, and wondered why the question suddenly came. He didn't remember ever fighting with Souma, or anything, or showing any wish to leave the house for now.

"I don't know, but maybe, yes," he told him. "As long as I have no reason to leave..."

But Ryouta wasn't satisfied. He wondered what could the matter be, and was about to ask about it, when his boyfriend's brother told him:

"Souma said that you are graduating in March, and that after you will probably go to a university..."

Kaoru ruffled his hair, and tried to reassure him.

"Can you keep a secret?

\- Yes?

\- You know, the truth is, after I graduate, I want to keep being an idol, so I can make people happy. And university isn't where you go when you're an idol. Even if, one day, I have to leave, you'll keep seeing me, alright? I'll be everywhere, you'll see me on the streets and on TV."

The young boy's eyes were filled with stars, and he had another pending question:

"Will Souma be everywhere, too?"

Would he... He wondered. Of course, Hasumi and Kiryu had been pampering him for almost two years, now, but what would happen after they'd graduate? The unit seemed to be what made his lover the happiest in the world, but he knew Souma also had other dreams, an even stronger one. He closed his eyes, and assured:

"Of course he will. Souma is made to become a star, and you can be proud of him. And whatever you do when you're his age, he will be proud of you, too."

The child nodded, and, his lips still smiling, he kissed the student's cheek.

"Thank you Kaoru. Good night.

\- Good night, Ryouta," he replied, placing a kiss on the kid's cheek.

He was happy to know Ryouta wouldn't have to go through what he had lived, because nodoby deserved hell. He would be happier if he never had to meet with someone like Tenshouin.

Kaoru turned the light off, and went back to the bedroom he shared with Souma. The latter was now wide awake, and he saw the same stars he had just seen in his brother's eyes a minute ago. He knew exactly what it meant: there was a documentary about turtles on TV, and he wanted to watch it. He smiled, and took a blanket with him, while the oldest of the Kanzaki brothers was taking his plushie with him, and they went to the living room. They prepared tea and coffee so they could drink while watching the documentary, and installed themselves in the sofa.

A few minutes before the program started, while they were cuddling, Kaoru felt his lover's chest move, and saw him laugh. To try and understand, he looked at the TV screen, but nothing especially funny was on it, and he couldn't get what made him so happy. So, he looked at his lover, smiling.

"What's so funny?

\- Don't you think we look like an old, married couple, with our habits and our hot drinks, the blanket on our knees?"

He looked all around him, and thought about it. An old, married couple, established in their own house... He wouldn't mind it, and he wouldn't mind getting a house with Souma one day. But for now, he wasn't even sure if they relationship would last that long, after all, they were young, and anything could happen. They had a good example with the Sakuma-Tenshouin couple, and he had found himself asking Sakuma if it wouldn't be better to just break-up at least once. But the vampire had refused, and he wasn't sure if he admired that, or if he thought it was completely stupid. Because if they had to keep hurting each other until the end... _Maybe he just wants to be able to be there until that end_.

He shook his head, and, acknowledging how it felt good to be just the two of them, cuddling under their blanket and on the sofa, he laughed, too.

"Yeah, maybe we look like one. But I like that," he said, and realized a month ago he would probably not have said that, "I..."

_Oh._

"I... love you?"

It was the very first time he _said_ it, and it felt like a big weight had been lifted from his shoulders. And he knew he couldn't get an answer immediately, and he accepted it. Because, now he knew it wasn't something that was easy to say. It wasn't like saying he liked this or that point about him, it wasn't like saying he loved his attitude, or what he looked like, or... He had suddenly understood it meant so much more, and incidentally, why nobody in his family every said it to him.

He felt tears about to fall on his cheeks when he thought about it, but a kiss in the corner of his lips suddenly lightened the room again, and he blinked, while looking at Souma. The younger one's cheeks were redder than ever, and he looked like he was trying to say something, but didn't manage to - and it made Kaoru's heart beat faster, out of a mix of anxiety and curiosity. Still, his lips were curved in the draft of a smile, while moving as if the didn't remember how to form the words they wanted to let him hear.

"...Ah... I..."

And he understood. He understood what was happening, and he understood that Souma was trying to go too fast about it. So, he smiled:

"Don't force yourself. It's alright. I know your feelings."

He didn't need words to understand. He didn't need words to notice all the small, insignificant things that had started changing, because he could see them all. Around them, people probably hadn't noticed - some _definitely_ hadn't seen it yet, or else he would fear a lot less for his life - but Souma conveyed his feelings in every little thing he did on a daily basis. And Kaoru hoped that himself was able to do it, too, because he didn't want Souma to feel left out. It sometimes felt like he wanted the whole world to know about them, and sometimes like he wanted the two of them to just stay alone, away from everybody's looks, in a little shell of theirs. And that was why he hoped he had managed to put it all in his words.

What he didn't expect, though, was to be hit in the arm, and get a pout as a response. Was what he had said _that_ embarrassing?

"I can't believe you're the one who had to be pushed into admitting your sexuality, and now _you're_ the one making all the first steps! That's frustrating, damn. Let me at least do one."

He laughed, and rubbed his neck. It was true he had supposed Souma would say it all first, but apparently, his mind had decided otherwise.

"I'll try," he answered, "But... I think you did the decisive one.

\- Which one?

\- Asking me to stay for one night.

\- And in the end you stayed _forever_ ," his junior replied, and the smile on his lips was very clear to Kaoru.

"Don't tell me you had planned all of this...

\- ...Oops?" He rolled his eyes. Unbelievable. "Well, to be honest, I hadn't _exactly_ planned it all. It's more like... Somehow, I knew there was a - very small - possibility. I wasn't sure what your feelings about me were, actually, though Lord Sakuma had let me know about his thoughts on the matter.

\- You _asked Sakuma_?

\- Not exactly...? I don't know, we talked about you after the Dream Festival, so it came to him in the middle of the discussion."

He wanted to hide in a corner. _And at the time I wasn't even sure about what I felt... Well, I don't have any reason to be ashamed of it anymore, I guess._

"Also, I know you know it, but, I didn't know about how your father was with you. I mean... You told us your relationship with him was bad, but I didn't expect it to be _that_ bad, actually.

\- Yeah... That's why I didn't want to talk about it at school. It's the place where I escape my father's behaviour. So when he...

\- It's alright, now. It's over. And the only people who know and will know about it are the people _you_ will let know about it."

He looked at Souma and gulped, trying to get back to reality. He was right. He was very right on that point, and somehow, it made another question jump to his mind.

"What would I do without you?"

The second year student suddenly blushed again, and punched him a little harder.

"Stop it with the declarations! The documentary is about to start, how am I supposed to survive so many emotions in one time?"

Kaoru laughed, and they exchanged a kiss before the program started. He'd probably need to focus on it, for once.

As the program went on, and the documentary followed a few families, their position in the sofa changed. At first, they were sitting a little apart, but holding hands, Souma all eyes and ears to the program, while Kaoru was doing his best to stay focused. As the turtles found companions and started to find their own places, they got a little closer, in each other's arms, but still focused on it. Neither of them realized their were slowly sliding in the sofa and getting closer as the documentary went on, that it was only when it ended, and Kaoru heard a noise behind them, that noticed his boyfriend's head was on his knees, and that he had been playing with the long, purple hair for a while.

"I'm gonna fall asleep," Souma said, his eyes half-closed, while turning to see him.

"I don't think your parents would be happy to find us sleeping in the sofa," he just softly said, but no movement was made.

"I often fall asleep in here when I watch documentaries," the younger precised, "They're used to it.

\- But that was before I was there.

\- Whatever," Souma replied, "I can't move anyway.

\- You can't, or you don't want to?

\- I d-... I can't! My head and my body are too heavy. So you can't move either, except if it's to lay on the sofa with me.

\- Wouldn't it be more comfortable in the bed, though?

\- Ka~o~ru. You're not fun, you know."

He smiled, and decided he'd give up. There was nothing he could do, right? He'd just have to accept his fate. Oh well, there were worse fates. ...Way worse.

"Alright, you win," he said, "but you'll have to let me move my legs so I can lie down."

His junior raised his head, and while he was placing himself to his sides, added:

"It's alright, I prefer listening to your heartbeat than to your legs," and smiled.

But the blond had to erase the tears on his cheeks. Oh, his clothes were covered with the turtle-maniac's tears, but he hadn't realised they were still there. So he kissed them away, hoping it'd make his boyfriend smile.

"What are you doing?" the purple-haired one gleefully asked.

"I'm turning your tears into happy tears," he said, and all he got was a pat on his head.

"You can't help your ridiculously romantic habits, can you?

\- Don't you like them?

\- I like them. But not because they're ridiculously romantic.

\- Why, then?

\- Because even though they sound stupid, they first and foremost sound sincere."

_Fuck. What do I do? Why does it have to be him? Why am I so lucky? It's not normal. I'm sure something's gonna go wrong at a moment or another. It has to be, right? Fuck, don't let me believe this is real, or I'll feel so down if it all ends._

"Kaoru, you're being anxious for nothing again," Souma told him, cupping his face with his hands. "Stop thinking too far in the future. Focus on what's happening right now. You know what's happening right now, don't you? It's simple: you and I, on the sofa, going to sleep. Us, together. Okay? Not letting anyone touch you or take you by force."

He was trying to understand what it all meant, but he wasn't sure. He felt lost. No, wait, it wasn't right, nothing of this was right, why would he be suddenly granted with all this love if it wasn't because it was going to be taken away from him sooner or later? It looked all dark around him. All dark, except for that voice he knew so much. He wasn't able to understand what it was saying, though, but he did his best to focus on it. So, he was a little surprised when he suddenly heard a heartbeat.

A heartbeat. Not _any_ heartbeat. One he had hardly ever heard, but one he knew very well, because he had sometimes felt it, in accordance to his own, while they were falling asleep. This heartbeat was life. Love. Compassion. Empathy. Apologies. _Wait, what_?

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked, his mouth numb and his throat sore.

The second-year student seemed confused, and he had to ask it again.

"Why are you apologizing, Souma?"

Silence. Not the silence that meant his lover hadn't understood. He knew that one.

"Because I've been calling you «disgrace» for so long. Because I was wrong. Because both of us have been wrong."

He tried to figure out what he meant, but finally understood there was nothing more than that. They had been wrong when they had thought they could never get close. Kaoru had been wrong every time he had said «if you were a girl» or «I don't like guys but». Especially when it concerned his junior. For some reason, for as long as they had known each other, Souma had been the only one he had said things like «you'd be so cute as a girl», or «Ah, if you were I girl I would date you». _I must have hurt him. So much. So many times._

"You should have thrown me in a sewer."

He felt a hand hit his head, not too strongly, and went back to his thinking. Wait. Hadn't he been saying such things since the day they had met? Wait. Wait.

"Fuck."

Had he said it out loud?! He wanted to go back, but it was too late, and he heard a sigh. _Yeah. I know. I'm exhausting. Sorry._

"Why did that sound like it was from the bottom of your heart?

\- Because it was. I'm an idiot and you should have sliced me in halves long ago.

\- Please explain yourself."

He tried looking up, but the eyes he met weren't showing any anger or despair, only cheering. And he was grateful for that.

"You know I've been raised in that ass-ish family, right? Like, I used to not even think it was possible for me to fall for a guy and things like that.

\- I think I'm the best placed to be aware of that, yeah.

\- Exactly. Well. Uuuh... I'm sorry. For all the things I've said. Things like «if you were a girl» and all... It must have hurt you. And in the meantime, I guess I was just hiding my real feelings from myself... I'm an asshole and an idiot. Sorry."

Second hit. Souma was probably angry with him, and had all the rights to be so.

"You're not wrong. It used to hurt, at the time. But hey, you _are_ an idiot.

\- Why?

\- Because if I wasn't over it you would still be an ignorant."

Kaoru blinked, and decided Souma was right. He probably thought too much about it all. He probably hurt himself too often. So, he gulped, and apologized for what had just happened, before he placed himself back on the same level as his boyfriend. He was met with a charming smile that he couldn't help but kiss. Again, and again, and again. And his hands were looking for his junior's body, and his body was reacting to the febrile touch of Souma's hands.

And he was in another world, his tongue dancing with his junior's, his hands looking for more skin to touch, for new places to discover. He could feel Souma wasn't sure how he was supposed to do it, and, to be honest, he wasn't completely sure if himself was doing right - he had experiences with _women_ , and their bodies were definitely different. For a mere second, he hoped that body would not only be the first masculine body he'd ever touch, but also that it would be the last _body_ he'd ever touch at all.

It was like the place they were had disappeared, as if the world had stopped existing around them, to him, and though he was a little lost at times, Souma was there to guide him; and even though he liked curved bodies _a lot_ , somehow, feeling the muscles under his lover's skin felt much more erotic than what he was expecting. _Hah, am I turning into a schoolgirl?_ Maybe, actually, but he didn't hate it.

It took him a long moment before he dared slide his hands under Souma's belt, and he forgot all his interrogations, all his fears. He didn't think anymore, and it was like he didn't need to, anyway - he had lost his mind the moment Souma's lips had left his to leave kisses in his neck.

They were battling for the lead, yet they were both a little shy, uncertain of what they should do, and Kaoru ended up, despite himself, being on top, freeing Souma from his shirt, and making sure he wouldn't hurt himself. A second later, he realized something.

"We... Probably should go back to your room," he said.

The younger raised an eyebrow, and asked:

"Why?

\- I'm not sure I want to go further on a sofa your whole family uses," he explained, a little awkward about that fact.

He saw his boyfriend's mouth turn into a perfect "o", and nod.

"I hadn't thought about that point.

\- So we're changing rooms?"

Another nod, way more vigorous. They gathered the things they had taken with them, and quietly went back to the room, hoping they wouldn't meet anyone on the way. Kaoru pulled a face when he saw the youngest member of the family go past them, but the child seemed half-asleep, and probably hadn't noticed them. Good, because he couldn't imagine himself explaining Souma's brother what was happening. The both of them then rushed to the room they shared, sighing in relief when they finally made it.

They looked at each other, and laughed uncontrollably. Now they were relieved from the small fear of being found out, they exchanged a long kiss, and Souma grabbed his shirt.

"So, where were we again?"

He grinned, kissed him, and replied:

"At «I'm a little too hot in that shirt», I think.

\- How sad it is, really," the younger told him, his hands playing with the border of the shirt. "What should I do about it?

\- Come on~!

\- No, you come on," Souma whispered in a voice he had never heard before, and though he had been surprised, he liked that voice.

While he captured his junior's lips, the said junior carefully lead him to the bed, where he sat, only to remove the blond's cloth. Kaoru had already seen that glint in his eyes, and that grin on his face, except neither of them were on him; also, it was the first time that expression made his heart beat that fast. When Souma finally, hesitantly, dared to touch the skin - he had already explored it, but it wasn't the same when clothes were off, wasn't it? - he waited a little, before taking one of his hands in his, so he could kiss it.

He was a little impatient - he always was - but forced himself to focus. After all, it was kind of special for both of them, and he didn't want to spoil it all. So, he focused, and both of them took place on the bed, Souma lying on his back, Kaoru upon him, and the last thing he expected was the:

"Fuck, you look too sexy for me," that escaped his lover's lips.

Souma probably realized it too late, because he placed a hand on his mouth, and it made the blond laugh.

"If you keep saying things like that, I might need to shut those lips of yours," he gently said, and the younger replied:

"They're waiting for it, or do I need to tell you how beautiful you look, and how lucky I am right now?"

A second later, he was capturing those talkative lips, and Kaoru took advantage of it to hide his face. He was going through a little bit too many emotions, and he'd rather not have that single tear fell on his boyfriend's face.

"What's happening?" Souma quietly asked when the kiss was broken.

"I'm happy," he answered. "I'm happy and I love you."

He could see his lover shiver, and it made his heart beat faster again. His face was probably very red and not sexy at all, but apparently it didn't affect Souma's will, at least not in a bad way, and he knew those kisses he received, on his lips, on his jaw, on his forehead, on his eyelids, meant at least as much as the words he had said just before.

Gulping, he felt a little surprised when he suddenly felt freer, and had to notice his trousers were gone. The mischievous smile on his lover's lips said it all, and he swore he'd get his revenge.

"You wanna play it like that, huh?

\- You can't imagine how much I want to see your naked body," the younger replied, and Kaoru had to note he was wrong.

"Well, I do have an idea of it," he stated, while sliding his fingers down his boyfriend's torso, and to the bump under his trousers.

Souma bit his lips, and Kaoru knew he had won that round.

"Okay, maybe you can imagine it," the purple-head replied, "then what are you waiting for?

\- For you to give me your authorization," he answered, and he slid his fingers under the trousers' belt, so he could rid Souma of it.

The purple-haired man bit his own lip when Kaoru's fingers brushed his body, and he wouldn't have missed it for anything in the world. Even though he wasn't very sure about what was next, he tried to stay sure of himself, and let his body decide. So, he started by leaving kisses on his lover's chest, at first a little too shyly, and then, way more passionately. Souma's reactions let him understand he wasn't doing too bad, and he felt reassured when the burning body arched towards his lips.

He took it as an authorization to pull Souma's boxer's away, and looked at the younger one's face. Even though he got approbation, he wasn't sure he was ready for that yet, and apologized with a kiss. In the middle of it, he felt a hand on his body, and soon, he was completely naked, too.

"Are you sure you want to go on?" Souma inquired, and though the blond hesitated for a second, staying silent, he already knew the answer.

"I am," he smiled.

"Sure, sure?

\- Shut up," he laughed, not expecting the caress that came just after.

"That's _my_ line, you know?"

Oh, he knew that, very well actually, and of course he had done that on purpose. Kissing his junior's jaw line, he finally dared let his hand explore that body that wasn't his. So, even if it was timid at first, his fingers closed around his boyfriend's member, coming and going, at first slowly, and then with a little more impatience. When he felt at ease, he finally dared inserting a finger inside Souma's body, and let him some time to get used to it. When he seemed relaxed enough, he started moving it, observing each and every of his lover's reaction - he feared he'd hurt him in a way or another, and thus was way more attentive than he was used to be. Presenting a second finger to the entrance, he voiced his question, in case he'd be wrong, and Souma probably liked it, because he kissed his nose. He did wait for a vocal answer before he entered it, though, and dared moving a little faster.

Though he knew he _wanted_ it - his body and mind had proved it to him more than once - he felt tense, because he feared making mistakes, or that his boyfriend wanted to stop - he'd respect that, of course, but still, right at that moment that was both stupid and unnerving, because he didn't want to do anything badly. In fact, though there were similarities, it wasn't anything like what he had experienced with girls in the past; one of the important points being that, for the first time, he had real feelings for the person he was going to make love to. That point let his relax a little, and in order to help his lover get ready, asked if it was okay to enter a third finger. As soon as he got the approbation, he did so. He hoped Souma was feeling at least as good under his care as himself felt, and decided the redness of his face and his expression was a good indicator.

After a moment, he completely left Souma's body, and opened his mouth, thinking about _that one point_. Not that he wouldn't like doing it that way, he wasn't willing anyone's life anyway.

"Wait a second," he said, "I need to find my wallet.

\- Why?" Souma blurted, and his confused - and pleased - expression almost made him laugh. "Are you gonna pay me?"

For once, he was the one to hit the younger's head, and though his boyfriend pouted for a second, he was pardoned as soon as he explained:

"I need to look for a condom, you idiot.

\- Oh. Ah, wait. Can you get up for a second?"

A little confused himself, he got up, and watched Souma look for something in one of his nightstand's drawers. When he found what he was looking for, Kaoru saw an unopened box of condom he was immediately given, and a tube of lube. _Oh, right..._

"I guess you don't have that in your wallet," the younger replied with a mischevious smile, and he was right.

First because it was too large for his wallet, and secondly because he wouldn't have immediately thought about it, especially when no so long ago he wouldn't have even thought about having sex with a man. After staying without a stupid expression on his face, Kaoru finally opened the box of condoms, and took one, so he could put it on. He then covered it with a thin film of lube, and waited for a signal that would tell him it was okay for him to enter his boyfriend.

As he did so, he checked each and every expression on Souma's face, kissing his lips, his jaw, his forehead, every inch of skin he could find so it would lessen the pain. Luckily for him, it seemed to work, and he regularly made sure everything was okay before he went further. Once fully inside, he paused. He wasn't sure if it was the same for both sexes, but waiting for his partner to be ready was an important point to him, and since it was Souma's first time, he double-checked before he started moving, and, once again, started by going slowly, at first. Even though his body was on fire, he did his best to tone it down and not be too fast.

He also had to admit that the sensation was different from what he had known until then, and he was a bit surprised, too. What was more surprising, was that he found himself uncontrollably joining his lover's moans, and though he'd rather have not silenced it, he didn't want the Kanzakis to wake up and find them like that. So, he hid his groans ans moans between his and Souma's lips, tongues, skin. He marked his pleasure from the tip of his teeth in his boyfriend's skin, and the said boyfriend got his revenge by nibbling on his ear.

Intoxicated with Souma's odor, presence, and body (it felt like he was everywhere around him, and the sensation warmed his heart like never before), he didn't even really know when or why his movements were going faster, or harder, or slowed down a little, nor at which moment his hands had started stroking his lover's member again, but he _did_ know it when Souma hit his climax, and, apologizing with hundreds of kisses and caring, thrusted a few more times before himself hit his climax.

Out of breath, but happy, he got out of Souma's body, and couldn't help but kiss the smile that welcomed him. Cupping his junior's face with his hands, he knew he didn't even have to wonder if his feelings would be returned with the same strength as his.

_They already were_.

He stayed next to Souma for a while, checking how he was feeling, making sure he wasn't hurt, or tired, or feeling bad in any possible way while they were cuddling, before he went got rid of the condom and went looking for something to clean both of them. Once done, he returned into the welcoming arms - actually, it was more like Souma wasn't letting him go anywhere, and he didn't want to go anywhere else anyway. Once again, he made sure everything was okay, until his head was hit.

"Calm down, for the tenth time, I _am_ okay. I'm _more_ than okay. Both physically and in my mind."

He was a little troubled, still a little stressed, and opened his mouth, closed it, only to open it again. He was at loss for words and wanted to apologize, and ended up babbling a confused mess of words.

"Hey. For a minute. Try thinking about yourself."

_Himself...?_ Whenever he thought about himself, his life turned upside down, or he started hating the things he had done - or just himself for being who he was. So thinking about himself, right at that moment?

"How are you feeling? Apart from stressed, because you're still stressed.

\- Stressed."

He got hit a second time, but laughed about it. How was he feeling... Good. Very good. Loved. More relaxed than he seemed. At peace... At peace.

"I'm feeling better than ever," he said. "Better than I thought was possible."

It was just completely different than the usual. Completely different from what he had felt with women. Completely different than every time he was going to love hotels with random girls whose name he couldn't remember and spend an hour there. It was better. It had felt more natural to him, and even though they had both been a little clumsy, he couldn't find the right words to explain it.

Of course, he had already heard those questions: «how are you feeling», «can you stop freaking out about if you hurt me or not», and the likes. Of course, if he was so careful after love, it was because he used to be terrible, leaving them without even really talking, or hurting them without realising, or, not checking twice if they didn't change their minds... _Oh._ He was just realizing how _himself_ had changed.

"Sure? You didn't hate it, or thought it was too gay for you?" his lover's voice was teasing, and it made him smile.

"It was very gay, indeed," he affirmed, a malicious smile ornating his lips, "But I might be very gay for you in any case, so I guess it wasn't horrible at all~."

Fuck, he had _loved_ it, and was ready to make love to Souma all day and night long if he could. Especially when, in his eyes, reigned that very small glint of desire. If Souma were to ask for it again, he wouldn't say no...

"We should sleep, though," his junior told him, tracing arabesques on his chest with the tip of his finger, and Kaoru wondered if he was really sure about that sleeping thing, "It's very late already."

The blond raised his head to look at the alarm clock, and, considering it was almost four o'clock, decided his junior was right.

"We probably should, yeah," he replied, unable to prevent his yawning.

"Ow, senior, did I exhaust you?" the younger playfully asked.

It was a bad idea, was it?

"Exhaust me? Hah! I'm in top form. But you can try to exhaust me again," he suggested, but was received with a:

"Maybe tomorrow, or another day, because _you_ did exhaust me," and the almost childish smile on his lips made Kaoru smile, and he nodded.

"Alright. Good night, sleepy beauty.

\- Don't start with the stupid names.

\- Admit it, you wouldn't love me _that_ much if you weren't prepared for the nicknames.

\- Shut up, I hate you so much," the purple-head told him, before snuggling against him.

"Yeah, that's obvious," Kaoru laughed, immediately followed by his boyfriend. "You hate me so much."

He was answered by a sleepy laugh, and decided it was time to calm down and let his junior sleep. A few seconds later, he barely felt the goodnight kiss they exchanged, and fell into Morpheus's arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed ♥ Thanks for reading, as always!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there ♪

They had been training for hours. It was a very special day, and they were ready to fight. Only a few units had access to the school since it was Sunday, but of course, UNDEAD and fine were a part of it. He had heard the new unit was here too, but hadn't seen any of them. Not that he really knew any of them, since they were a little bit... Special. Akatsuki, though, wasn't supposed to be there, and somehow, it probably was better like that. First because Souma hadn't been able to really wake up or get out of the bed in the morning, secondly because he would probably have been killed by Kiryu and Hasumi, and he wanted to live at least one more day in his life.

They were working on the same part of the same song for a whole hour, now, since they still had some difficulties with the coordination of it, and Koga had suggested they should probably change the part if they weren't able to do it correctly. So, they had been looking for different moves, that they would be able to coordinate on. It was problematic to change the choreography _now_ , but at least, they managed what they had been looking for.

Once Sakuma let them rest for fifteen minutes, the younglings went out the room so they could go and bring drinks for everyone, leaving their seniors alone together. And that was a good thing, because Kaoru was wondering something, and he wouldn't be able to focus completely unless he got an answer.

"Say, is Tenshouin there, today?"

Sakuma bit his lip, and sighed.

"He is.

\- You don't seem to like it, though.

\- He just got out of the hospital yesterday night. I told him he wasn't ready to even train to perform, and long story short, we fought, and he decided he'd come here anyway. I'm just worried, you know? But he's...

\- Paranoid. Voice it. He's paranoid." He lowered his eyes, knowing what he wanted to say wouldn't be liked by his friend, but it was because he wanted his friend to be happy that he wanted to say it. "Sakuma, are you sure you want to stay with that guy? I mean, he's not the angel he looks like, and like, everybody knows it. To be honest, if you think you'll be the one that can change him... I fear you might be wrong."

His leader shook his head, and drank half of his bottle of water before saying any further word. The expression on his face looked so pained Kaoru wondered how he was able to manage the practice.

"I know that. It has been hard to accept, but I am aware of it. And don't get me wrong, on a daily basis, we're happy together. I think changing him isn't the solution, nor what I really want. I just... Want to show him that there's more. That this school isn't a prison, or the world, or anything else than a very particular school."

Kaoru smiled, and ruffled his leader's hair - not for long, because they were sticky - before adding:

"You're a hopeless romantic, aren't you?

\- I never hid it. That goes with the vampire-thing," Sakuma smiled, and Kaoru was surprised at how much he looked like a happy child.

"Haha, at least you have an excuse thanks to your persona... Not that it's bad anyway."

After all, himself was a hopeless romantic too when he was with Souma. He hoped his junior was alright, and checked his phone for the umpteenth time for news from Souma. He had actually received a cheering message, to which he responded with a sticker, and a message to ask if everything was okay, and tell him he had left clothes on the bed so Souma wouldn't need to get up to get dressed.

"I'm not the only one, huh?"

Suprised and embarrassed, Kaoru jumped, and felt his face get too warm for his good. Uh-oh, busted.

"I guess I was drawn to it," he replied while putting his phone back in his bag. "Playboys often sound like hopeless romantics, I just lost my game of love.

\- This sounds both lyrical and ridiculous.

\- I know, right?"

The dark-haired student smiled.

"I can't believe we're supposed to have a rebel-ish image, when in fact we're just a bunch of over-romantic gay guys.

\- What, Koga too?

\- I don't know. I don't think I've ever seen him date anyone, so everything is possible, I guess.

\- Oh. I hadn't seen things like that.

\- Don't tell me, you're still assuming that people are straight until it's obvious they're not?"

He sighed a little, and rubbed his neck, before looking at his reflection on the mirror. He didn't look anything like proud or confident at all. He also looked very tired, and pulled a face at himself. He knew he was getting put to bed for the next two days, with no right to move away from it except if it was to go shower or to the toilets. At least, he'd be pampered and get his meals in bed.

"I'm trying to work on myself, and... Souma proved me I'm not doing it in vain. But you know, it's hard to take the ideas you've learned to have all your life, so suddenly."

He got a little slap on his head, and wondered why the people around him all wanted to slap him. _Well maybe I deserve it on some points..._ Still, his smile didn't leave him, especially when he got an answer.

"We know. We all know. Even Souma's adoptive parents know it.

\- Oh so it's their official naming?

\- I guess it is," Sakuma confirmed, "But anyway, the point is, I have hope for you. Until now I was never wrong to have faith in you, I'm not giving up now.

\- Thanks. You're a real friend."

He got one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen on his leader's face, and it made him very happy.

"See? Now you see me as a real friend. So you can stop using my family name, and call me «Rei», alright?"

He was stunned for a second. Calling his leader by his first name? Madness. But he also considered him as a friend, so maybe... _Oh._ It reminded him something, except the roles were exchanged. It reminded him the starting point of his relationship with Souma. _But I don't want to go out with Sakuma..._ A little voice had to remind him «friendship» was a thing and that it was okay to call your friends by their first name.

"Understood, I'll do my best.

\- Okay," the older of the two stood up, looked around him and stopped on everyone's face, and Kaoru knew what it meant; "fun time is over. Let's get ready, we've got to kick Fine's asses so hard they'll remember it for the next three years."

Kaoru was sure he could discern a hint of sadness in his friend's gaze at that moment, but was persuaded to forget about it before he could even examine it closer. It probably wasn't the right time for it. And he knew Sakuma was right - they had more important matters to take care of.

So they spent the rest of the day working on their upcoming performance, again and again, strenghtening the weak points and confirming the strong ones. It was the most important thing of the day, the most important thing for the next weeks. And they put so much energy in it they were shaking when the time came for them to get home. They were told by Tenshouin - which surprised Kaoru at first, because he was expecting Keito due to the Student Council president's health state - who looked like he had been rolled over by a truck. Sakuma seemed devastated when he saw him like that, and ran to the door with an energy Kaoru wouldn't have thought possible after such a long day. Especially when the rest of the unit was trying to catch their breath, lying on the floor.

But what took him back to his senses was when he heard Sakuma - _Ineedtogetusedtocallinghim«Rei»_ \- shout his boyfriend's name. The tone of his voice was terrifying, and he knew something bad had happened. So, before he could think about anything else, he called for help, while he saw his friend checking for Tenshouin's breathe and pulse. Trying to stay as calm as possible, he answered all of the questions that were asked, approaching Rei to confirm the information he needed. The woman on the phone was kind, and patient, and explained him everything before the ambulance arrived.

He was reassured to know his classmate was still breathing and having a pulse, but Rei was shaking, even though the second-years had took place beside him and helped him place Tenshouin in a safe position.

"Rei. Look at me," he said. "Look at me in the eyes."

The red eyes turned towards him, and for the first time in two years and a half, he found them terrifying.

"It's gonna be alright. He's breathing. He's alive. He just overworked himself." He could hear the sirens - the Yumenosaki hospital was very close to the school, and they were used to Tenshouin's sudden problems. "See? Hasumi's coming to shout at him, and also probably at us. He's okay. You just need to stay by his sides. He needs your support before everything else."

He saw Rei nod, and he looked a little more present. But it wasn't until Hasumi reached their practice room that he managed to open his mouth.

"Keito, Kaoru tells me he's gonna be okay... Is he?"

Hasumi looked at him in a mix of fear and sorrow, and finally answered:

"Don't worry. He'll be alright. It's not the first time he overworks himself. By the way, thanks for telling me, Adonis."

Kaoru looked at his band mate, and smiled at him, nodding. He probably had done the only thing he could to help, huh... And Oogami had stayed by their sides. But Rei was too shocked to even realize what was happening around him. He just absent-mindedly nodded, and thanked Akatsuki's leader. Hasumi then looked at Kaoru, who was holding his friends in his arms to try and comfort him, and told him:

"Souma's waiting for you in our practice room." Kaoru bit his lower lip, feeling himself get pale. He could join Souma in the practice room, but right now, it wasn't what he wanted. "...Alright, I'll just tell him to come here."

...Wait, what? Had Hasumi turned mad or something? He couldn't believe it, but at least he was grateful.

"Thanks. And sorry. That was so sudden...

\- I know. I told him not to do that, Sakuma told him not to do that, Hibiki told him not to do that. I hope he learns his lesson, this time."

Kaoru nodded, and saw Hasumi leave the room for a moment, until he came back with Souma. In the meantime, the ambulance arrived, and he saw the doctors put Tenshouin on a stretcher, and talk a little bit with them. Sakuma was still shocked, and they were, too - maybe just not as much as him, and Kaoru could swear his friend was on the verge of crying.

Still, he listened to the woman who explained them that they shouldn't be too worried. That they knew him, his condition and how it evolved, and he would be okay. They insisted on the fact it wasn't the first time that happened, and that the young man always did way better than expected with the situation. Even though they were doing their best to try and comfort them, the blond felt quick moves next to him, and he didn't need more to know his unit leader was crying.

When they were alone, they talked together about whether they should let Rei accompany Tenshouin to the hospital, and it was the moment Hasumi and Souma reached the room. They probably had heard the conversation, because Akatsuki's leader looked at them thoughtfully, and, with a wince, told the black-haired student he could drive him to the hospital - so he wouldn't have to take the ambulance, and he would probably be able to relax at least a little.

"Also, I would like to talk to you," he said in the voice Kaoru knew way too well, and he couldn't help but feel a little tense, even though the words weren't addressed to him.

Souma probably saw it, because he came closer, and put a hand on his arm, delicately, so Kaoru wouldn't be surprised. They exchanged a gaze that meant something among the lines of «Are you alright?», to which he replied with a nod. He was shocked, but clearly not as much as his friend, and he was still able to think normally.

So, with Koga, he helped Sakuma get up, and Adonis made sure he wouldn't lose his steadiness - which almost happened. Rei tried to erase his tears, but they immediately start falling again, and he felt sorry.

"Look at me in the eyes, Sakuma."

The man tried, but his red eyes were filled with tears.

"Eichi is gonna be alright. I know what he told you. He told Hibiki and me too. But this is not the time, not the place. He still had the strength to live, and he will live. He's breathing, and his heart is beating. They always make sure of that."

Rei nodded, but the words he tried to say all turned into a meaningless gurgle, interrupted by a hiccup.

"Let's go. I'll drive you to the hospital."

He nodded, and looked at the room, where all of their things were scattered all around.

"Take some time to change and put everything in place. I'll wait for you."

After a nod, the man changed, while the rest of the unit, plus Souma, was gathering all they could, so it would be easier to put them back in place. Once they had made sure (three times at least) that their leader had everything, they let him go.

Kaoru could see a very sad expression in his boyfriend's eyes when Souma helped him gather his own things, and he was a little surprised. That was no secret that he hated the Emperor (and everybody understood he had his reasons, actually almost everybody in that school had reasons to hate Tenshouin), so he was a little curious about the worry and sadness he was able to recognize. So, he took his hands, and had him look into his eyes.

"Hey. It's gonna be alright," he said, "the doctors and Hasumi insisted on that point.

\- It's not for that monster that I'm worried. It's for Sakuma. And you. All of you."

Ah. He hadn't thought about that, and barely opened his mouth. He would be okay, after all. It had been a shocking view, but he could go past it, huh?

"You already have difficulties sleeping, even though you don't have nightmares anymore. I don't want you to have nightmares again."

The pout on his face was cute, and even though it wasn't really a happy one, a small smile appeared on the third-year student's lips.

"I'll do my best. Also, you're by my sides, as well as Adonis and Koga," he said, "They know what happened. They were there. It's not gonna be the same thing all over again."

The younger one didn't look completely convinced, and he could understand why: after all, nothing was sure, especially when everything around him tended to get shattered to pieces, lately. But what he was sure about was that he had had enough with his own trauma.

"I hope you're right," he simply said, while closing Kaoru's bag.

He had a worried look towards Adonis, and Kaoru nodded to him, to tell him he could wait until Souma had checked on his classmate. Adonis needed it, to be honest. What he didn't expect, though, was for Doggie to come next to him, and ask him:

"Are you gonna be okay? I mean, you clearly had a trauma recently, you didn't need a second one."

Oh, he had understood? _What a good dog_. He tried to smile, and assured him:

"I'll do my best, at least. Take care of you, too. Must have been quite the shock, heh?

\- I'm mostly worried for Sakuma, to be honest. That asshole, I don't really care about him, but I care about my friend's state, and he's already not been very good for a few weeks. I hope he doesn't get stupid ideas. He's obsessed enough with death..."

And it made sense. Rei was obsessed with death, he had always been. More than once, Kaoru had feared his friend was wishing to end his own life, but it had, luckily, turned out it wasn't the case. But he had seen old, almost invisible scars on the skin of his wrists, and even though that seemed old, he feared things would go back to what they were at that time.

"We probably should manage all together to change his ideas and keep an eye on him. Let's talk about it with Adonis, for now. Rei's not alone for now, that's the only thing that matters."

His junior nodded, and both of them waited for the two friends' discussion to be over before they'd dare entering their space. They took a moment before they noticed the last two members of UNDEAD were there, but as soon as they did, Akatsuki's center came towards him, and hold his hand.

"Want to go home?" he asked, clearly worried.

"Not right now. Koga and I thought about something, and we would like to talk about it with you, Adonis."

The metis tilted his head, and they explained what they intended to do, hoping he would join them in it. To their surprise, he didn't even take time to think about it, and agreed immediately, adding that he was worried for Sakuma, too. Somehow, Kaoru had the feeling there was something more in there, but he kept it for him. Everybody had their secrets, and he knew sometime, people just didn't want to talk about it. So he just answered he was happy everybody thought the same, and they finally decided to go home and rest a while.

Kaoru just didn't expect Souma to fall after two steps. A bit confused, he took a second to understand where his boyfriend had gone, and hurriedly checked if he wasn't hurt.

"What happened?!" he asked.

He was not ready for another accident. He was not ready for Souma to be injured too. _When will that hell stop?!_

"I'm alright, my tension just lowered suddenly. I'm as surprised as you, to be honest," the second-year told him, an innocent expression on his face.

Thanks god, there was no sign of pain at all, and Kaoru thought he would have the same problem soon after - his legs were shaking, and he had to sit on the ground for a second. The Corgi started shouting for a second - «Why are you sitting in the middle of the corridor, seriously, I could walk on you!» before he was suddenly stopped, his voice being muffled.

Kaoru blinked a few times, before a home-made melon pan appeared before his eyes. He took it, and thanked Adonis, who had sat next to them, and was giving another one to Souma.

"How come you still have food after such a tiresome day?" he wondered.

His band mate tugged Doggie's sleeve to make him sit.

"My sisters. Their being too careful about me has its advantages," he explained. "But you all should eat meat tonight, to stay strong."

The last sentence made everyone laugh, but he was right on that point. They needed to eat a lot, after all those efforts, but he had come to realize Satomi used to cook more consistant meals the days they had practice.

"We will," Kaoru answered, and the fact was immediately confirmed by Souma, who was savoring his melon pan.

"My mom is the best when it comes to food."

The innocent, happy smile on his face made Kaoru heart stop for a second, and it surprised him. He had been touched by people’s feelings in the past, but never that often, and for that long. Love was a weird thing, he thought, but he didn't hate it at all.

"Ah, you're lucky," Koga said, "my parents aren't too bad at cooking, but most of the time we eat in restaurant because they're busy."

He looked a little sad, and Souma immediately turned towards Kaoru, with a determined look that still gave him chills - not as much as it used to when there was the threat of the katana, but still.

"Let's ask my parents if we can invite them someday!" he suggested, and the blond suddenly felt way less tense.

"Alright, as long as it doesn't end up like it did for me," he joked.

"No, that was completely different, and as you know, maybe just a little planned in advance."

The fact that it was only the truth still made it sound so strange to his hears, but he shook it off immediately. That wasn't the important part of their discussion, right now.

"Anyway, we should probably suggest that on a week-end so we all have time. And-

\- Wait a minute. It's not that I don't like the idea, but why would you invite us at your home?"

Doggie seemed intrigued, more than vexed, and it seemed like he wasn't really sure about what he was supposed to think about it.

"Because you need to think about what to do about your leader, don't you? Also, since Kaoru lives with my family, and you're his friends, I was thinking it was a good place to talk further about it?"

Kaoru swore he heard a «And nobody deserves to drown under Lord Adonis's sisters», but it was so low it could also have been his imagination. Anyway, the sincere suggestion pleased him, though he wondered how Souma's parents would react. Oh, after all, it was for one day...

"We'll ask them tonight," he said, wondering if Ryouta wouldn't like to join the group if so many people were home considering how he loved playing with «his big brothers» as he had started calling them.

That would be problematic, because he didn't want the child to be confronted with what they needed to talk about... _Stop focusing on little things like that_ , he told himself, while devouring his melon pan. It was delicious, and thought his friend was lucky to have such skilled sisters - even if he often described them as annoying or frightening.

"Thank your sisters for me," Kaoru said, "Never tasted such a good melon pan."

The younger seemed happy, and he looked towards Koga, who almost looked like the happiest man in the world.

"Can I just spend the rest of my life eating your sisters' melon pans?" he asked, and Kaoru took his phone out.

While he was activating the camera in filming mode, Souma came next to him.

"What are you doing?

\- This is so rare, I need to record it. For posterity.

\- Can that thing film it?

\- Yes. With the sound, too. We'll probably hear our own voices.

\- Oh. Can mine do that?

\- Of course it can. I'll show you."

He received a kiss on his cheek that made him happy, and kept filming until he was busted.

"Hakaze..."

He shot a smile to Doggie, and got up on his legs, before running as far as he could - which was not very far, because both of them were exhausted. The Doggie gave up first, though, and Kaoru had to wait for the whole group to be up on their feet and to join him before going any further.

They took way longer than the usual to leave the place, but they had fun on the way, with Koga showing them the dozen of new pictures of his dog he had taken in the morning with such an enthusiasm nobody would have believe he was training hard an hour earlier. So many things had happened, that day, and Kaoru was glad it was over. He couldn't wait to be home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ♥


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! A Christmas chapter, to feel fresher under the current temperatures!

The Christmas live was a special event the whole school participated to, on Christmas Eve. It was the same every year, so the practice was lighter than the usual, especially since they had training days regarding the following month's festival. They were more relaxed than the usual, except probably for UNDEAD of fine, this year, because of what had been happening.

Kaoru could see his classmate sit on a chair, backstage, every single time he could, away from the crowd. Rei usually was with him, except when he needed to concentrate, and at those times, he was replaced by Hibiki, who looked way more serious than the usual - Kaoru would have found it suspicious not so long ago, but now he was aware of what could happen, he just let it go.

Himself had spent time with Souma, playing and practicing the Christmas songs the shuffle units were supposed to sing - one of them included the both of them, with Kanata, and they were as happy as children, beautifully ignoring the looks they got. Though the blond, at some point, just _knew_ one of the pair of eyes stuck on them was Hasumi's, but when he checked, he had the surprise to find a smile on his face. Surprised, he decided it was a Christmas miracle, so he'd keep it for him.

But right now, the next performance was a friendly UNDEAD versus _fine_ song fight, and Kaoru prayed for everything to go right. They always had had problems during rehearsals, like Tenshouin and Rei unable to talk without shouting at each other, or injuries, or coordination failures, or even part of the decoration break and fall next to them; if Kaoru were paranoid, he'd have thought somebody was trying to sabotage their representation. But he wasn't.

So, after UNDEAD had their war shout, they took place in their part of the decoration, while fine was to appear on the other side of the rotating panel after the beginning of their song.

"Eichi," he heard Rei whisper after he took place, "Let me show you what Christmas really is."

He winked, and the Emperor addressed him a surprised look, that disappeared from Kaoru's field of vision as the panel started turning. They were facing the red curtain that was separating them for their public, and he breathed in.

"I really hope you don't have any stupid idea in mind," he took the time to murmur to his leader before the starting signal was sent.

The only answer he received was a wink, and he had to contain his sigh and focus. It was time to start and show the world they weren't the same as they used to be.

And he was glad, because though he couldn't help but stay a little tense during the whole live, he was happy the opening act went as smoothly as it was originally planned to. _No, it's different,_ he told himself. _The atmosphere is different._ But he couldn't tell why. It just _was_.

Maybe because of the holidays. Maybe because it was Christmas, and everybody was having fun. He knew in the western countries, the holiday had much more impact than in his own country, and that made him want to make the night even more beautiful. Hah! Maybe that was what Rei meant when he had told Tenshouin he'd show him what Christmas was really like. And he realized. _Himself had never known how Christmas was really like_.

The thing made him more energetic. He didn't know it, alright, and then? He could create a meaning for it. He could create it for the family that had saved his life, for the people who loved and accepted him for whom he was - better than himself did - and, as soon as he had found Souma's parents and brother, shot a wink at them, a big smile on his lips.

After all, even though he didn't always know the feelings he had to represent didn't mean he couldn't try and find what it was like. After all, life was unpredictable. And thus, it was with the largest of smiles that he faces fine, finally on the same side of the decoration as them, exchanging their places and dancing together, Rei and Tenshouin in the middle.

He didn't dare moving for a while after the act ended, staying in his last position, catching his breath until the cheering stopped and the two leaders started talking, freeing them from the ending pose - after detailing it for a while, looking at them under all angles, trying to destabilize them.

But the only thing Tenshouin obtained from him was a corner smile, because that was the maximum he was determined to give up: that bitchy expression they liked idols to have of the time and that he hated.

Finally, the dialogue started between the two units, as if none of it was scripted, and they talked about the live, the units that would be there tonight and the program, about how _excited_ they were for that all-school-wide live since it was a very special day, and the leaders finally presented the theme to that night.

"What is Christmas to you?"

_If only I knew. Until today it has been shouts, cries, hatred and bad words. It has been, at most, spending time at friends'. But that's over, Kaoru. What should I make it, now?_

While the Trickstar versus Ryuuseitai part was announced and the hall turned dark, both units' members started to leave the stage, and changed in order to be ready for their next show. Kaoru's was a solo, and the costume Itsuki had designed him was a magnificent purple one, that matched the other Marine Life Club members', so they had decided to keep them for their shuffle unit part.

After he put it on, he stayed a long time in front of the mirror, looking at himself. He didn't know if that was right, he didn't know if he would do well. He didn't like the tired expression on his face, because it wasn't just due to the fact UNDEAD had been rehearsing with all their strength, but mostly because he had been having all nighters and spent more time with Sakuma than the usual, and even though he really wanted to support his friend, he was exhausted.

He knew the fans couldn't see it. The make-up artists were magicians, and they had the power to hide all of his tiredness and just make him look perfect - to the other's eyes. Souma had told him he could see the exhaustion on his face (but it was Souma), and the rest of UNDEAD did too. At least, they looked as exhausted as he did, it just added to the character.

Kaoru sighed, and, called by the make-up and hair artists, went to the chair they were waiting next to, ready to look different from his UNDEAD self. He watched the metamorphose go on, and his mouth formed a perfect "o" when he got to look at his own face in the mirror. Was it really him?

As he was observing his own face under all kinds of angles, he happily smiled, and thanked the two women. They were great at what they did, and he was sad they probably wouldn't be credited for their work at the live. _After all, the word «artist» is in their job description, they're almost more legit ones than us..._ He'd talk about it with Rei, at least.

He was going to get up so he could concentrate and work on his solo, but suddenly, he was hugged very strongly from behind, and he didn't need the reflection in the mirror to understand what was happening; the familiar cinnamon scent had reached him first.

"You're gonna be okay," he said, placing a hand on Souma's. "You're gonna be perfect. Be careful not to hurt yourself with your katana, and just be you."

He felt a nod against his shoulder, and a quick kiss on his cheek.

"I'll be back right after," he said, and Kaoru nodded.

Akatsuki was having their duo with Valkyrie, then would come Ra*bits and 2wink, and the versus part of the live would end with Knights and Switch. Then, the solo parts would start - the first one was supposed to be Rei's, but he had managed to exchange with Tenshouin, just so he could watch and support his little brother during their part - the empty place the blond had seen next to his friend's parents probably was his.

And then, the shuffle units... How lucky had the Marine Life Club been to stay together? Well, apparently, the Emperor had been tired of the oddballs being together all the time, and too lazy to think further, and some shuffle units were just basically club units. Theirs having only three members probably was a perfect occasion - or maybe he had just made it on purpose. Whatever was the truth didn't matter next to the fact he would sing with two of the most precious people in his life.

_Maybe it's just that, maybe this year, Christmas just can be me singing with those two_ , he thought, _Maybe it can be sharing it with everyone in the public_. He hoped his family wasn't in the public, but there weren't any chance for them to be, so he would be safe. _I would have loved for the asshole to be there, though, he would have had learned the lesson of his life! ...Or maybe he would just hate me a little more._

Sighing, he decided it was time to stop thinking about too many things, and to go on the balcony, where he would be able to watch the two bands on stage. He didn't want to miss any of Akatsuki's performance, and he had promised he'd watch over Souma from where he was. Not to add that he couldn't help but being a little worried he'd hurt himself during his sword dancing.

When he arrived at the balcony, he had the surprise to find Adonis and Koga, next to each other, calmly watching the live. Well, Adonis's attitude wasn't a surprise, but Doggie's definitely was. First of all, never had he seen him so calm, and second, he wouldn't have imagined the Corgi would have been interested in either Akatsuki or Valkyrie's performance - but maybe he was just being curious about what could happen, especially since it meant Itsuki and Kiryu were on the same stage - those two seemed to have unsettled business, and with Tenshouin's orchestration, who knew how it could turn out? Doggie probably was there just for the potential fighting.

Though, Kaoru couldn't help but notice, he was standing very close to Adonis.

_Calm down, Kaoru, you're just inventing things were there aren't_. He could hear the applauses, and came closer from the barrier. He didn't want to miss a thing, from the opening of the curtains to the moment they would leave the stage.

The red curtains opened to let the public see a simple Christmas themed rotating scene, reminding a traditional Japanese town in winter. Akatsuki had adapted their songs to give them a softer feeling, and they seemed very winter-like. Even Souma's solo-dancing looked less aggressive than usual, his moves conveying more tender feelings than what Kaoru was used to see. At the end of the solo, the young man raised his eyes for a mere second, but he raised them _towards him_ specifically. And, for some reason, he felt observed.

He sighed, and tried to ignore his band mates, and also the fact Rei had disappeared for no reason just after their performance. After all, what was happening on the stage was way more interesting - and oh _how much_ he loved that outfit, and _Souma don't look at me like that, I'm supposed to survive the event, you know?_ \- and his heart beat faster when his boyfriend's look was clearly aiming at him, the moment Souma's tongue followed the curves of his lips, and Kaoru had to bite his own so he could try and stay focused.

For some reason, now, he couldn't wait for the versus performance to end, so other units could go instead, but he had to stay calm. Also, he didn't want to ruin the make-up and hair artist's work. They would be angry against him and perfectly in their right, but every time he watched Akatsuki perform ( _Oh, come on, Kaoru, stop lying to yourself, it's never really_ Akatsuki _that you are watching, is it?_ ) he had this same sensation. Except now, he knew what it was, and though it was totally assumed - or at least he did his best to, because at times he just didn't dare admitting it - knowing his band mates were around, and perfectly _aware of the situation_ made him uncomfortable.

So he tried to breathe and calm down, and watch the performance until the end, and the second he started running off to the backstage, he could _swear_ Koga and Adonis were just a little _too_ close, but it probably was his imagination.

_Kaoru, don't start seeing gays everywhere just because you started accepting you liked men, damn it. Well, Adonis_ is, _but Corgi? Hah!_

...Actually, he was confused, because Doggie loved his dog very much, probably at least as much as Souma loved Kamegorou, but when it came to humans, it was a little different, after all. And he didn't even know if Koga was capable of love towards a human being...

_Mind, can you please shut up, do you know there's Souma coming away from the stage in like five seconds?_

And so he managed shutting down his thoughts, until his lover was in his arms, happily hugging him with all his strength - and he had a lot of strength, maybe a little too much for Kaoru to survive. He probably should accept Nobuhiko's suggestion about taking kendo lessons with him. But for now, instead of looking for air, he hugged Souma as much as he can, putting all sorts of feeling in it. _Thank you_ , _you were wonderful_ , _that session was awesome_ , _I can't wait for ours_. He received the biggest of smiles and a very light kiss on his lips (make-up was a real curse), and was freed.

"You need to go change," he remarked, noticing how Souma's hands were taking his.

"Can you help me~?"

He rolled his eyes, and accepted - he was still Kaoru Hakaze, after all - hoping they wouldn't bump into the Guardian Gods of Overprotection or he would be dead on the spot. Fortunately, the said Gods were busy elsewhere, it probably was Hasumi's turn to watch over the Emperor or something like that, and he felt relieved.

"Mom and dad are not home, it seems," Souma teased, and Kaoru moaned:

"Why are you doing this to me? You know I just got prepared for my solo! That's cruel!"

The mischievous smile that answered him said it all. Of course he knew. Of course he would do it on purpose.

"You're a little devil," he added, "did you take lessons?"

Souma shrugged, turning away from him and putting his hair up.

"I need help," he said, "I can't reach the string.

\- Of course you can," the blond said, tugging on the string the kept the black shirt in place. "You're just teasing, aren't you?"

He pulled it, and the top fell down his lover's chest. He was definitely doing that on purpose.

"To answer your question, I didn't take lessons, but I did ask a few technical questions to your unit leader," he sing-sang, facing Kaoru again, raising his hands to cup his face.

But the blond stopped him in time, and caught Souma's wrists.

"Bad idea. Foundation," he precised.

"Oh. Right. Damn, why can't I touch you when you look so hot, it's unfair!

\- Have you even _looked_ at yourself in a mirror to say that?"

Souma's mouth opened and he breathed in, but no sound followed it, as if he was trying to process the information. In the end, he shut his mouth, took Kaoru's hands and placed them on his belt. This was hell. Real hell. Way different than the time he used to watch Souma from afar. Way more real, too.

So, he untied the belt, watched the lower part of the costume fall, and had to turn his back to his boyfriend, so he could breathe.

"...What's happening? You've seen me naked countless times, don't tell me you're suddenly getting shy?"

_Haha, if only it was for that..._

"No, darling, it's rather because I like seeing you naked _a little bit too much_ , you know? But we also have to stay focused, because we're supposed to be giving a Christmas concert, not a moaning concert."

The room stayed silent for a second, until he heard his junior whisper:

"Oh, right, it isn't completely over yet... What a pity."

But the smile that followed wasn't sorry at all, and after Souma had started changing - he only wore his trousers, but that was already more than a few seconds ago - he placed another chaste kiss on his lips.

"Sorry. I think the event is putting me a little too much in the mood," he admitted, and Kaoru had to agree.

"I'll try and survive," he falsely complained, a hand dramatically resting on his forehead.

"Wow, that was so good, I could almost believe it," Souma replied. "Way better than what any member of the theater club could do."

The younger one nodded, and answered when someone knocked at the door, still buttoning his shirt.

"Souma~! Kaoru~! Congratulations!" their Club president told them, and both were surprised to find him already ready for his solo - it was only natural, since the solo part was only one shortened song by person, and they had to be fast to come up with the next song so they wouldn't lose time.

"Thanks, Kanata, I'm sorry I couldn't see your performance," Kaoru apologized, but his friend shook his head.

"It's alright! You were «in my heart»," he explained, and the blond thought for the umpteenth time in three years that this guy was definitely too weird.

"That was cheesy, Kanata," he remarked, helping Souma readjust his shirt.

He was glad their Club President had arrived, at least it would probably calm him down a little - and Souma too, he needed that.

"I don't mind being «cheesy» if it's because I'm being «honest»," he replied. "Especially because I'm «proud» of my «friends»."

The words made him smile. Few people had been proud of him in his life, but it looked like their number was increasing, lately.

"Thank you, Kanata," he replied, while at the same time, the second-year added:

"Thank you very much, Lord Club President."

The blue-haired super-hero pouted, making frustrated noises. That was a first, and Kaoru wondered what was happening.

"Souma," he started, with that voice that usually meant Kaoru should better run fast or not try to oppose him, "Can you «drop» the «lord»? I really don't «like» it," he said, "It makes me «sad»."

It seemed it would take some time for the sword dancer to process the information, but unexpectedly quickly, he smiled.

"Understood, Lo- Club President."

The marine life lover's face suddenly seemed all light and happiness, and he «bubble, bubble»'d happily.

They stayed there a little more, talking together, until they heard other voices, and his boyfriend's face turned into a very happy one. Suddenly tense, Kaoru tried to erase his presence as much as possible - he _knew_ what was coming, and really, he was _very_ glad Kanata had decided to pay them a visit.

As usual, the two pairs of eyes glared at him until Souma distracted them, showing them how he looked like in his solo clothes, and how much he was having fun at the event, to which the other two members of the band replied he shouldn't stay in the dressing room, without explaining why. Yet, he didn't need for words to be said to understand what it meant, because he felt like if looks could kill, he'd already be dead fifteen time in the last ten seconds.

Luckily, they finally saw Kanata, and he heard faint sighs of relief, that made him angry. Damn, why did they need to be so overprotective? And what was their problem with him? He'd need to ask them very soon, because that was becoming a real problem. So, just to annoy both of them, and let them understand they didn't need to be on Souma's and his back all the time, he walked towards his boyfriend, and placing himself in his back, hugged him. That way, he could see Souma's overprotective adoptive parents' faces, and smile at them all he wanted.

It lasted for a while before they finally reacted, probably a little pissed off by his behaviour. Perfect, that was exactly what he wanted.

"Geez, Hazake, what's yer problem?" Kiryu seemed he was ready to grab him by his collar, but prevented himself from doing so.

"What's yours~?" he kindly replied, still smiling.

"Why are ya looking at us with that stupid smile on yer face?" the red-haired demon asked, and Kaoru wondered if that hair could suddenly turn into fire.

"I just want my parents-in-law to accept me~!" he falsely implored, though it wasn't totally wrong.

"Hah? Stop kidding us, Hakaze, you're-

\- Kuro, calm down. We don't want anyone hurt, tonight." Kiryu sighed, and looked away. "But I must admit I myself am rather curious about that smile, too, please explain?"

He breathed in, kissed his boyfriend on the cheek, and let him away - to which the younger didn't seem to agree at first, but he wanted to face the other two himself.

"Listen, I know both of you are wary of me. I know you fear for me to hurt Souma, and it's alright, I mean, you're his friends and band mates, of course you'd be afraid I did something wrong. But, first of all: it's the first time I'm with a man. Of course I might do mistakes. I believe I did some already, but as you can see, we're old enough to settle this by ourselves and, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think we're going pretty well." Still, he checked his lover's reactions, in case he was the only one thinking like that, but Souma agreed, smiling happily. He sighed in relief, and continued: "Second, you do _not_ need to be on our backs all the time. We can take care of ourselves. The day I hurt him for good, you can be ready to kill me. But when nothing happens? Come on, guys, relax. Look, Kanata's also ready to kill me in the most cruel ways that exist if things were to go wrong, and yet, he still thinks of me as a friend, and we were having a fun discussion before you came in," he could see his Club President happily nod, and just in case it wasn't enough, the «bubble, bubble» that followed confirmed it, "So please. Try and see me as something else than a walking threat for the man I love."

Silence fell, and he felt his hand squeezed by his boyfriend's, whose eyes were now hidden by his bangs.

"Please," the second-year added, "it hurts me that you're acting like that. I know both of you only want good things for me. But then, can't you see Kaoru's a good thing for me? Can't you see I'm happy right now? Of course there's always a possibility that one of us hurts the other and that we both feel horrible. But please keep that attitude for that day. We're not there yet. Also, you are my _friends,_ not my _parents_ , and even my parents are okay with the situation. Damn, it's Christmas, can't you guys have at least a little consideration?"

He probably sounded angrier than he would have liked, and Kaoru was surprised about all this. He didn't even expect his boyfriend to support him at all, yet he probably hadn't been feeling good about it either. Somehow, he felt relieved just knowing that, and, to be honest, the other ones' faces were too funny. He couldn't help laughing, and felt way better.

"Aah, anyway, it's almost my turn," he said, "thanks for listening, guys, and thanks for coming here, Kanata.

\- And me?

\- Thank you for existing," he said, and got a weak punch in his stomach.

"Shut up.

\- You were the one who asked.

\- Go to that stage and charm the public, you don't need that to have me, damn it."

He smiled, and went away, feeling his boyfriend's look on his back. Just after he left the dressing room, he was sure he heard the words: «What? I love him!», and it made him happy.

When he stepped on the stage, it was like it was the first time ever. He had been on this stage countless times, and sometimes even alone, but until then he had never really thought about it. He had been doing what he knew, without putting too much efforts into it, and that was how it had always worked. He used to shot glances at some girls in the public, and after the live was over, he'd just meet one, or two, or three of them, and invited them out, just so he could hear them praise him and have them giving him presents.

Yet this time, he had a family in the public, and he didn't care about seducing girls anymore. He cared about his performance, and about his singing, so he had to process it a little before going on stage. Just before he had to be ready to get on the scene, Rei, who was coming back from his own solo part, put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey. Don't over think it, and just have fun."

The raven-haired vampire smiled to him, and it made him feel better. He nodded, and placed himself so he could wait in the dark for Hajime's performance to be over. There, in his hidden place, he looked at the Kanzakis, who seemed completely enjoying the first year's performance, and Ryouta was so into it it made him smile. Not too far from them, he could see the Sakumas. Precisely, he could see Ritsu discretely leaving the free place next to them (he wasn't _that_ discreet with his white costume, but he probably had forgotten it), and smiled. _Leaving just after your brother ended, huh?_ Maybe this situation, at least, would be solved soon enough. He checked the public one last time, because something bothered him - but not matter how much he looked, there didn't seem to be anybody with blond hair and looking so rich they'd puke gold and shit platinum. And his heart squeezed, because no matter if he resented Tenshouin, he knew what it was not to have a family around you.

He shook his head, and started to concentrate on his song, on the meaning he had given it. _Get rid of the past, and start your life anew, because there will always be someone to give you a chance and take you where you need to go._ He had chosen it on purpose, of course. It was the best «thank you» he could have thought of, to all the people that surrounded him.

And the second the music started, he didn't think about anything more. He wanted to transmit his message, he wanted the world to hear it, and that was all that counted. He wanted to tell the earth he had been a horrible man but he was doing his best to change, and he liked it so much he never wanted to go back. That for a moment, he had hated his former self, but now everything was alright, because he had learnt his actions were in the past, and the people around him had helped him improve instead of turning their back to him. He wanted to tell the world he was in love, and that even if love wasn't the solution to everything, it was a good motivation to go forward.

For the first time in his cursus in Yumenosaki, he fell in tears before the second half of the song - and it was only lasting a minute and a half - and he probably looked like a mess at the end of it. He didn't really remember where he was, until he heard the coordinator's voice in his earplug, who was asking him if he needed help. He formed the «I'm okay» sign with his hand, and, the light now away from him to focus on Tsumugi, he went backstage, where his leader, his lover, and his band mates almost glomped him, all of them seeming worried.

At least, maybe his message had gone through. He didn't think about anything else, and placed his arms around Souma's and Rei's hips, hugging the two of them as strongly as he could. He felt a very familiar hand in his hair, and closed his eyes.

"Are you okay?" UNDEAD's leader asked, and he nodded, without opening his eyes or leaving any embrace.

"I'm alright. I'm happy, that's all," he smiled, and finally let his friend go, still keeping Souma for himself a few more seconds.

"I'm relieved," Rei told him. "You might say I'm paranoid, but you were basically saying «thank you» while crying during a whole minute and a half, I feared you had some bad idea in mind."

He shook his head, and looked at Souma, before turning towards his leader again.

"No, I don't. And I hope I never will, at least for a good chunk of time. I just wanted to express how grateful I was to have all of you as friends. I'm weird, I know."

Koga looked at him with the most jaded look he had ever seen, and he wondered what it meant - he didn't have to wonder for too long, though.

"Seriously, Kaoru. Have you seen anyone that wasn't weird in that school? You're one of the most normal students in here. Or you were, at least. Welcome to the weirdo club.

\- Thanks. I'm proud. I'm not weird enough to become an oddball yet, though, what a pity.

\- Come on, even Adonis could become an oddball before you reached that level of weird. Besides, Mom here is enough not to get a second one," Doggie precised, and he wasn't wrong.

After all, their vampire mom, who seemed a little disappointed by the nickname, was enough of an oddball. And he probably didn't want them to keep going on the subject, judging by his face.

"Come on, at least call me «Mother»," he told them, his eyes keeping going from his friends to his lover, sat on the wheelchair they had rented for him that day.

"Alright, mother," Kaoru smiled, and was surprised when Tenshouin approached them.

The way the dictator was looking at him was troubling, and he feared he had done something wrong. So, he stayed on his guards, especially when a beautiful smile appeared on his lips. The kind he had never seen on that face, and that made him understand a little better how came that Rei had fallen in love with him.

"Hakaze. I'm surprised," the Emperor told him. "Your performance was very different than usual."

Oh yes it had been, and he was very proud of it. Because for once, music had been way more than just a distraction, or fun time spent with his friends. He had understood the point he had been missing until then.

"Say, where did you find all these feelings?" The question was unexpected, and his mind stayed blank for a second. "I mean you looked so different than the usual. It's like you've changed.

\- I told you he had," Rei answered in his place, and nodded to him.

"Tenshouin, I don't understand what you mean, but yeah, maybe I have changed. You know, things have happened that lifted the veil in front on my eyes. People have happened too. And you know, people happen to you too, so maybe you too can lift the veil in front of your eyes. Just try and see, it's worth it," he said, hoping it'd help a little.

He felt his leader's hand squeeze his shoulder, probably to thank him, and smiled. That was the least he could do for now. His classmate seemed to ponder for a while, until Rei suddenly called happily:

"Ritsu!"

Only to be ignored, while the younger vampire approached his club mate.

"Ecchan," he said, "I would like to talk to you for a second." He peaked at his brother, and added: "Away from thingie."

Tenshouin nodded, and let his friend drive the wheelchair away, while a sad expression appeared on Rei's face. Even if he did his best to hide it, and happily jumped towards his little brother every time he got the chance, the situation was probably very hard for him.

"You know what the worst is?" he asked, and Doggie replied: "What, that you miniature version can bring your boyfriend wherever he wants?"

He got a slap, and while Adonis was going to get his own turn on the stage, Rei answered:

"Almost. It's that Ritsu seems to consider Eichi as a big brother more than he does about me," he added, and Kaoru ruffled his hair.

"Hey. Chin up," _I mustn't tell him what Ritsu told me, I mustn't tell him..._ "I'm sure there's a little more than that. They probably talk about you together. You're one of the things they have in common, after all."

He had tried to sound as confident as possible - with his shaken voice, it probably didn't sound as cool as intended, but at least he had tried, and the fact that his friend nodded to that was reassuring. A few seconds later, while Doggie disappeared, telling them he wanted to watch Adonis's performance, and Souma had to go to the stage for his own solo - just after his friend's - Kaoru witnessed Isara throwing himself on Ritsu, and noticed the smile on his band mate's face.

"I'm glad Mao's there," he admitted out of the blue.

"Huh?

\- Because Ritsu's not alone. You know, he needs all the support he can get, especially with a big brother such as me, and Mao's always been supportive with him, without always agreeing. He's the presence I can't be. And probably the reason why Ritsu didn't..."

He stopped his sentence there, frowning, as if trying to keep for himself something he wasn't supposed to say. So Kaoru didn't try and look for more answers, and just got happy when Isara took Ritsu's hands in his, sparkles in his eyes, and saw the younger Sakuma nod. He then disappeared right behind the curtains, backstage, ready to step there himself.

"I gotta go," Kaoru finally admitted. "You know where to find me for next three minutes.

\- My brother's turn's in ten anyway, so just go, we'll meet again at that time," the leader smiled, and went back towards his boyfriend's wheelchair.

He'd stay at the balcony, then. Once there, he was surprised to see the Corgi so close to the balcony border, and with so many stars filling his eyes. He knew the unit's second-years were close friends, but his attitude seemed a little different than the usual, and somehow, Kaoru couldn't help but finding it... Quite familiar. His looking unexpectedly happy when the UNDEAD's purple-head was in the spotlight, his way to enjoy the performance... He wondered if his band mate was even aware of it - probably not - and found it amusing.

Interesting, even. Was it what he looked like when he used to cheer on Akatsuki by himself, hidden in backstage, just so he could observe Souma? He wasn't sure if it was cute or ridiculous, maybe a little of both (or maybe more ridiculous than cute actually), but whatever. He'd rather just watch his friend's performance, and though nobody could understand the lyrics - they were written in Adonis's mother tongue, which sounded beautiful but a little weird to his ears - the emotions were there. He seemed a little confused about Christmas in itself and everything around it (he remembered how shocked he was when he had learnt that, in Middle-East, they _didn't celebrate Christmas_ ) but at least he had grabbed the feeling that it was supposed to convey, and that, everybody could understand it.

He was one to applause loudly after the performance, though Koga was noisier than him, and almost didn't stop before Akatsuki's youngest member was in the spotlight. Silence had fallen on the stage, and he wondered what his boyfriend had prepared - they had kept their performances secret from each other so it could stay a surprise until the day of the representation.

He was a little nervous about that, because his boyfriend had spent a lot of time practicing alone (or with his father) in the family dojo, so he supposed it was difficult. Yet, he did his best to stay calm and just watched the show - but it was as if himself was about to perform.

The music started, and it was a lot calmer than he had thought. Very different from what he used to hear from Akatsuki, but also very beautiful. He had difficulties understanding the lyrics, at first, because he was speaking in ancient Japanese, and Kaoru was one of those people who'd rather skip boring lessons about the old version of his own language so he could spend time with girls, and just have his mind wander freely.

But Souma was different, Souma had always been different. And if his tale seemed to be old as time, it was but a mere illusion. It talked about a Samurai that entered a battle, which violence he didn't expect, before, in the end, he found support and love that helped him go through the battle, and get stronger. In the meantime, the enemy was getting weaker and weaker, and the samurai was looking down on him, his saber pointed on the enemy’s neck.

"He just hates me that much, doesn't he~?"

Tenshouin's voice sounded amused, and somehow a little proud, by the fact.

"Maybe he has his reasons," Kaoru replied, "a lot of people here have reasons to hate you," he answered. "Now, if you're majesty'll excuse me !"

He rushed towards the backstages so he could meet his lover, and they could wait for Kanata's performance together. He took his boyfriend in his arms, congratulating him for the beauty of his performance - he hoped he'd get the entire story, next time, though - and they went back to the balcony, with Souma majestically ignoring Tenshouin. Yes, he probably just hated him _that_ much, and even though Kaoru felt bad because himself didn't hate the Emperor as much (but also because he wanted his friend to be happy, and for Rei to be happy, it took Tenshouin, so he had to bear with it), he let it go. After all, he wasn't there to send bad vibes, only to spend a good time with his friends, and try to find a meaning to Christmas.

Speaking about Christmas, Kanata's song was about to start, and their Marine Life Club president, being himself, sang a very Christmas-y song about fishes and sea creatures. It wasn't the best song of all, but it spoke about the things that were important to him, and his feelings were going through, so that was good enough, to Kaoru's eyes. Him and his junior had a lot of fun, and their friend seemed to have at least as much, so that was the important part.

Once Kanata joined them at the balcony, they congratulated him. Without asking them anything, he sat next to Kaoru's sides, and they watched the next performances, waiting for Rei's. The moment Morisawa's performance ended, Kaoru saw his classmate try to get up, before he turned towards him.

"Hakaze," the blond said with that voice that said «I need you to do something for me», and there was no way he was getting what he wanted, "Can you help me get up? I want to watch Ritsu's performance."

It felt very weird to hear the younger Sakuma's first name in Tenshouin's mouth, but after all, he had gotten used to hear the word «Eichi» on a regular basis.

"Oh? He's your beloved friend, that does so much for you, though, can't you even do that for him, or do you need a servant to put your feet on the ground?"

Tenshouin shot him an angry glance, and lift himself up on his feet. He stumbled to the barrier, and almost hit his head on it, after he had tripped. Unfortunately, Kaoru had quick reflexes, and he had helped it in time.

"Oh..." His classmate's voice was tired, and right now, that was frightening. "In the end you came to help me.

\- ...You did get on your feet by yourself, though."

Kaoru could feel the angry glances coming from Souma, and turned towards him, and apologizing look on his face. He got a smile as a reply, and understood his boyfriend was only angry at Tenshouin for living on the surface of the planet.

"Eichi~," a lazy-sounding voice told. "Why are you bothering my unit members? Let Kaoru have his time with Kanzaki, it's Christmas, it's for lovers! And you know who else has a lover?"

Kaoru saw a smile appear on Tenshouin's face, a smile he had never seen before. Wow, was he so different when he was with Rei?

"Me?

\- I was thinking about Ritsu," he said, showing Isara who was so excited about seeing his boyfriend on the stage he had almost managed to fall down the barrier. "But that works, too. Come on, Kaoru, I'll free you from that bug."

_What cute kind of love it is_ , he noted, and went back between Souma and Kanata, one placing his head on Kaoru's shoulder out of tenderness, the other doing the same probably because he assumed that was a thing friends did - and he had come to realize that, outside his «no homo» world, they actually did - so Kaoru had to bear with both of them at the same time. He placed his arms around both of them, and watched the performance. They still had some time before their turn, and they knew they'd be able to correct their make-up afterwards.

Because somehow, Kaoru was curious. He was curious about what Ritsu's performance would be, about that secret he had told Tenshouin, about what the youngest of the vampires wanted to say that night.

It was to be expected, but the song actually sounded very much like Knights' usually did, though the lyrics were filled with metaphors that didn't seem to have any meaning in the first place, except if you were called Rei Sakuma or Eichi Tenshouin, apparently. Because, from where he was, he could see tears on his leader's cheeks, and consoling, small gestures coming from the ill Emperor.

"I have a special request, today," and the blond could see a happy smile on Isara's face, and the said young man's eyes were going from one Sakuma to the other. "Brother, I know you're watching me. But tonight, I would like you to come on the stage with me."

Rei suddenly froze. It took him a whole minute of being called by Ritsu before he moved, checking both Ritsu's and Tenshouin's faces. Kaoru barely saw a smile of approval, before Isara came to hold Tenshouin, and told him to go, _quick_. A second later, Rei was on the stage, tears filling his lost and moved eyes.

"I know we didn't practice for this, brother," Ritsu told him. "But I think you can sing it with me."

The blond could see his friend gulp, erase his tears, and nod. He was shaking.

"I'll do my best," he replied, his voice changed by the tears of emotions he was holding back.

"Come on, what's that voice? You can't sing like that!" the younger one said, and Rei replied:

"You're right, sorry." He gulped again, breathed a few times. "I'm following you, then."

Ritsu nodded, and the song started.

From where they were, all of them could see the surprised and tender expression on Rei's face when he heard the first notes. He hid behind his arm for a moment, before breathing, and joining his brother in singing the song. Kaoru had never got the chance to hear it before, but he liked the strength of the two pretend-vampires' voices, and the tenderness, the love that came from it. He liked the enamored smiles on Isara and Tenshouin's faces - _how come everybody around me is both gay and so cheesy?_ \- and he liked that, this once, the smile on Rei's face was so bright, so happy. So different from the usual.

The fatigue and nervousness his leader had showed lately seemed to have disappeared. It felt so strange, so good, that for once, the world seemed to shine to everyone. It was like they were in a different world, a way less cruel one, where there were no brotherly dispute, no control on anyone, no hatred. Like a pause. Exactly like this whole live was, actually, but with a cherry on top.

When the ballad ended, the two brothers looked into each other's eyes, and Rei seemed completely lost. The blond saw him try to formulate something twice, but in vain, and his cheeks were overflowing with tears.

"I don't know what to say," he finally managed to tell Ritsu, while his younger sibling was gently mocking him for being in tears. "Thank you, Ritsu. Thank you so much. I missed you."

It looked like the younger one was thinking the same, because he rubbed his neck, and looked all around him, glancing a few times at Mao - who placed his thumb up, his smile never leaving his face - before he managed to answer.

"I... I missed you too, brother." It sounded strange to everyone to hear that word in Ritsu's mouth, and probably to himself because, Kaoru had realised, he seemed to put his hand on his lips every time he pronounced it. "This was my Christmas present to you. It took me some time to get to it, but this was what I wanted to say."

Rei, as fond of his brother as he was, took him in his arms for two whole minutes before he managed to say anything. His voice was a real mess, and that made Kaoru happy. He turned towards Souma, and liking the bright smile he saw on his face, met it with his lips.

"This is the best Christmas present I could ever receive. I really don't know what to say... I'm just happy right now."

Kaoru heard the public support them, and went back to what happened on the stage. The Sakuma brothers looked at each other, a bright smile lighting both their faces, and announced the next part of the live - the shuffle units.

"Souma, Kanata, we should go," he told them, and his unit members nodded.

They were of the last ones to get on stage, but they needed to correct what they looked like after their solo, and to make sure they knew their lyrics one last time - they had managed to create a song about the marine life, and turtles, and Christmas, and he had been so impressed by how Kanata and Souma had managed creating it that he couldn't have refused singing it.

At the end of the live, the whole school members were to join the stage together, for a Christmas carols medley, before they were allowed to go back home with their families. It felt a bit weird to Kaoru to think of the Kanzakis as his «family», yet it was, and he couldn't be more glad to have them, especially that night. But to him... He turned towards the other two members of the shuffle unit.

_Yeah. Maybe there's a little more than just the Kanzakis._

In response, he got the brightest of smiles, and his boyfriend was in his arms a second later.

"What's with that look~? Do I look that good?

\- Even more, actually," he confessed, before adding. "But I was just thinking about how much I love you."

He got lightly hit in the stomach, before Souma's lips formed a perfect "o".

"Hey, are you doing sports in secret, lately?

\- Come on, darling, it's not a secret, it's UNDEAD's practices!"

A chuckle escaped his lovers lips, before his junior hugged him again, his body _way too close_ and he whispered in his ear:

"I love you too."

Kaoru felt suddenly very hot, and was pretty sure his face was as red as one can be, because he wasn't expecting that _at all_. It was the first time Souma told him that way, and it was as unexpected and random as it was beautiful, to him. Right now, he was very glad they had half an hour to get ready, because he needed at least that to be able to even speak again.

He heard Kanata call him a few times, but he didn't really care. He had all he needed right now. And hiding his face the crook of his lover's neck was way more important on the moment. If he could have stayed like that forever, he would definitely have.

He finally managed to move and speak again after a good fifteen minutes, and they got the chance to be ready on time, so they could go on stage.

After the live was over, and all the bands had joined the stage to make a comment about the live, about Christmas, and shared their thoughts about it - Kaoru had decided he'd talk about the chance he had had lately, and how incredible it still seemed to him - they changed, and joined their family.

In the hall, he couldn't help but notice neither Tenshouin nor Rei were around, and believed they were just being their usual selves, disappearing after concerts to be alone together. But they finally appeared, a few seconds later. The Emperor looked very tired, sat on the wheelchair Rei was pushing, but both of them were talking together, and seemed to have fun, and Kaoru wondered.

He wondered how the man who was toying with all the other students could be naturally having so much fun with the one who was fighting him. He wondered how they could love each other so much when they way of thinking were so different. _Maybe he's like me...? Maybe he just wears a mask, just like I used to, without realizing it. Maybe he's not that bad of a person...? Or maybe I'm just trying to appreciate him._ He sighed, not really knowing what to think about it all, barely seeing the lovers joining the Sakumas and the Isara family.

Instead, he just spent time with his family-in-law, all of them happily discussing the concert, Ryouta having his eyes filled with stars. He took the child in his arms - he was almost not a child anymore and was heavier than Kaoru had expected - and Ryouta was even happier. He told the two young men he wanted to meet the other ones, too. Apparently, he knew of Hasumi and Kiryu, and, leaving Kaoru's arms, rushed towards them, to congratulate them for the Christmas concert. Both of them answered happily, and offered small presents to Ryouta, wishing him a Merry Christmas, and the blond was surprised. He barely even knew - oh, he had vaguely heard about it - that his boyfriend had a brother until the day he went sleeping there for the first time, but apparently he was the only one... _What an egoist I am_.

After discussing with the child, though, the older two Akatsuki members turned towards him, and once again, Kaoru feared for his life. But neither of them seemed angry, or ready to give him another lesson. Instead, he saw Hasumi smile, and that was rare enough not to demand Kiryu to do the same. The blond tilted his head, a bit confused by what was happening, and both the third-years bowed to him.

"Hakaze, we're sorry for the way we've been treating you until now. Souma's our priority as overprotective unit members, but now I understand he's yours, too. So, even though I don't really care about you as much as I care about him, I hope for you to be happy for as long as possible."

He couldn't help but feel his lips curl up, and he was clearly not the one deciding about it. But he had realized where that was going, and he was quite glad about it.

"Thanks. I hope so myself. And I'm glad to hear that."

He got a second, apologizing, smile, and while the student council member was turning his head towards the right, he saw Kiryu rub his neck, probably a bit awkward.

"Yeah... Same as he said. I want Souma to be happy, so I can only wish you all the best.

\- Thanks. I'm glad, you know? To hear such things. I mean, look at him. Look at that smile. I could die for it. Of course I'll do my best to protect it. And if it has to not work, well. That's life."

_I'll probably be on the streets, but whatever._ He shrugged, and was answered with a nod.

"Anyway, I wish both of you a Merry Christmas," he said, and saw Ryouta run to talk with a young girl that resembled Kiryu a lot. "Oh. Is she your sister?

\- She is. Adorable, isn't she?"

The smile that appeared on the man's lips when he saw his sister play with Ryouta made Kaoru almost want to mock him, at first, but he knew better. After all, he was the same with Souma's brother.

"So, that's what Christmas is," he heard from behind, and turned towards the voice.

Tenshouin looked extremely tired, it was as if he didn't have any strength at all anymore, and Kaoru surprised himself being worried about how long he had to live. He even had difficulties to breathe, and Rei held him his inhaler, a very mixed expression on his face, as if he was trying to hide his worrying.

"Everybody being nice to each other, singing songs about love, having a good time together... Looks a lot like a cheesy dream," he laughed, and Kaoru was ready to fight him if he was mocking that. "I wish I could have that at home."

The smile on his face was almost pitiful. His lips seemed twisted, and the expression in his eyes only looked half happy. As if he was going to cry. And Kaoru knew exactly the feeling.

"But you got to have it," he answered his classmate. "At least once, you got to see what Christmas is like to people.

\- You're lucky...

\- Don't start me on that, it's the first time I get to see what Christmas really is, too.

\- But you'll be able to experience it again, and again."

That wasn't wrong, and at least he hoped so - going back to his former life seemed like a nightmare he didn't want to live again - but for some reason, he just wanted to cheer Tenshouin up.

"Shut up, Eichi," Rei replied, and Kaoru was surprised to hear him talk like that. "It doesn't have to be Christmas to be like that. Of course the holiday puts everybody in the mood, but people aren't nice just one time a year, you know?"

The Emperor, eyes closed, shrugged.

"Well, some people can't even be nice once a year, because they think «being nice» means «giving money»," he replied, and a sad smile appeared on his lips. "It's sad you weren't there earlier."

He tilted his head. What did he mean? There were there the precedent years, too, right?

"Are you conscious of what you're saying? Because we've all been in this school for at least a year and a half," Kaoru said.

"Oh, yeah. I was talking to myself," Tenshouin told him, a bright smile on his lips, and a second earlier, he was slapped on the head.

Kaoru couldn't help but notice Rei had been careful when he had slapped his lover, and if he had to be honest, he hadn't been expecting that at all.

"Shut your mouth, mister. And stop thinking about death all the time. You're alive, and I'd rather have you around a little longer. Especially tonight.

\- Says the man who repeats he wants to be dead. You're not better than me on that point, my very dear Sakuma Rei.

\- My, what a twisted couple we are."

And the kiss they exchanged next clicked something in Kaoru's mind. Maybe that was because he finally saw the reality of their proximity, maybe it was because he was, for the first time, seeing them acting _as a couple_ and not as rivals or enemies, and, for once, he felt no hostility, either from or towards his classmate. For the first time, he realized they were equals, and even though he had tried grabbing the concept of everything not being all white or all black, that sole vision just shoved it in his face. He understood. In the end, Tenshouin was just like anyone. A child fighting to survive. He was just less lucky on some points, and had compensated his flaws the only way he knew.

Somehow, he found it sad, and disappointing, that he never understood what there really was when you were kind. He found it sad that the end was so near for Tenshouin, because it meant he wouldn't get to enjoy what he could discover and understand what could happen if he stuck around. And that sole thought made him even more determined to win the school's opening Ceremony's Dream Festival. But apparently, that didn't seem to be a problem to the man himself, and he rather joyfully greeted his friends when they arrived around them, rolling his eyes at Hasumi's lessons.

"Keito," he sing-sang, "Please, stop. I would like to enjoy this night, and my body condition is alright, you know? Especially sat in this wheelchair. It's super comfortable, and I get more time with the people I appreciate. You should stop worrying about everything, just for once. Look, Mao is having fun," he smiled, showing their hard-working treasurer.

"He's carrying Ritsu who fell asleep," Rei stated, "that's more of a chore than having fun, you know?

\- I don't get what you mean," Tenshouin replied. "He doesn't seem to dislike that."

And actually, Isara had a smile plastered on his face when he joined them, Ritsu sleeping peacefully on his back.

"Rei, Eichi!" he called, making sure the young vampire wouldn't fall, "We should go, missus Sakuma said there was a lot to eat, and we need Ritsu awake for the dinner."

Rei nodded, and looked at the rest of the group:

"Well, Merry Christmas, everyone, have fun tonight!

\- Merry Christmas," Isara added, and, bringing Tenshouin and Ritsu with them, joined the Sakuma family and went away.

Kaoru was a little confused by what had just happened, but decided to just let it go. They, too, would have to go soon, right? He was about to talk about it to his boyfriend, when he saw something that confirmed his earlier suspicions.

"Say," he addressed Souma, "Aren't Doggie and Adonis quite close, lately?

\- Mh? Oh... Yeah, I think Lord Adonis asked me for some advices, lately. Not very directly, as if he was trying to hide it..."

They looked at each other.

"Oh come on. Not him too.

\- You're surrounded by gays, mister Hakaze. You couldn't be the lone het one forever.

\- Did you have that planned, too?

\- No, but I _love_ the coincidence."

The sadistic smile on Souma's lips made him want to get his revenge, and he realized that now, the live was over, so having their make-up messed up wasn't a problem anymore; so, he took his revenge and kissed Souma. The second-year student seemed surprised at first, and Kaoru wondered if he had done right, but quickly enough, the kiss was answered, and he felt relieved.

"...Maybe we should go home, too," the younger stated, and the sentence was quickly agreed.

"Yeah, I'm quite... _Hungry_ , actually," the blond replied.

"Aw, poor you, and you're going to _starve_ until tonight!

\- Maybe not _starve_ , but I saw a very tasty-looking dish earlier, and I'd like to try it.

\- «Try»? Isn't it something you eat quite often, though?

\- Well, it is, but let's be honest, tonight, it looks tastier than usual," he pointed out, and knew he had a good point.

He saw Souma bite his lip, and before he knew what was happening, his lips were captured by his boyfriends, until they heard:

"Children, instead of kissing as if there were nobody around, maybe you should worry about Ryouta!" It was Satomi's voice, and Kaoru incidentally bit his lover's lip because of the surprise. "We need to find him to go back home and eat our Christmas Eve dinner," she smiled, and Kaoru checked on Souma, to see if he had hurt him or not.

"Mother, Ryouta's with Lady Akane, and Lord Kiryu is watching over them," he precised, sighing.

Kaoru felt despaired for a second, that Souma even called girls «lady», but somehow, couldn't help but also feel very proud to be the only one who didn't get honorifics anymore. Though, he still went looking for Ryouta, a bit sad for taking him away from his friend, but the child happily joined him, saying goodbye to Kiryu's sister.

"What are we eating, tonight?" Ryouta asked, while his brother joined the two of them.

"I don't know," Souma replied, "Father said he wanted to do us a surprise.

\- Oh, it's father cooking tonight!" Ryouta seemed unusually happy, and considering Nobuhiko was usually too busy to cook and Kaoru never got the chance to taste his recipes, he believed that was great news.

Anything would be great news, as long as it didn't involve anyone else with the name «Hakaze».

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ♪


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Here's a short, transition chapter to rest from the precedent one ♥

****Even though it was still early in the morning, and they were still exhausted, even though the snow had been falling all night long, and he had to insist on how important it was, they were walking in the town. While Souma was grumbling about how he had told Kaoru, and that it was too early, and that it was the twenty-fifth so shops would probably open later, Kaoru had managed to bring him to a quite small, and old-looking shop. Inside, a man was playing with a snake, watching its every move, calling it by an affectionate surname. When he saw the two young men, he smiled to them, and warmly welcomed the two of them.

"Hello, young men! It's rare to see people this early," he exclaimed, and while the second-year student was looking at his boyfriend with big, round eyes, the man added: "One of you must be the one who called me, right?"

Kaoru nodded, and confirmed:

"Yes, it's me. But the one who needs to meet their new friend isn't me," he smiled, looking at Souma.

He didn't think his lover's eyes could be even wider than they already were, but discovered how wrong he was.

"Are you... What do you mean... Which new friend?" he asked, and Kaoru showed him the interesting part of the shop.

"You wanted to get a turtle, right? I talked with your parents, and Kanata helped me. This is my Christmas present, so go and meet those turtles."

The entire universe seemed to fill Souma's eyes, and before he could even voice the "Really" that was forming on his lips, Kaoru pushed him towards the turtles' area.

"Yes, Souma. Really. Really really. And the only thing I care about the one you choose is that you like each other."

The second-year student seemed like he was about to say something else, but refrained from doing so, and hugged him instead.

"I shall not disappoint you! I'll become friends with one of those turtles, and make them happy with their new life!" he said, before going towards the animals.

Kaoru wanted to let him do, but the man told him it was okay if he approached them too. He knew what it meant - he was probably trying to sell two turtles instead of one - but the young man wanted to leave the pleasure of adopting a turtle to his boyfriend. Himself would have rather adopted a dog, or a cat, when he'd get his own appartment. For now, he considered himself enough of a bother to the Kanzakis.

Watching his boyfriend play with the turtles was fun, and even though he knew it wasn't the first nor the last time, Kaoru always found it amazing how Souma could be happy just with meeting the creatures.

It took him a little more than half an hour to decide which one he liked the best, but that didn't seem to bother anyone. Only one other client entered the shop, to meet with a snake, and she was still there when that enamoured look appeared on Souma's face. This was the look he had when playing with Kamegorou, and thus, Kaoru knew it was the one.

"So, we're going with this kid?" he softly asked, while the turtle enjoyed being softly caressed by his lover.

He got a nod as an answer, and smiled. The turtle was smaller than he would have expected, but he couldn't help but find it cute, too.

"I already found his name," Souma sing-sang, turning his soon-to-be pet towards he blond, who dared caressing it with one finger (it seemed so fragile, he feared he might break it if he touched it).

"What is it?"

The smile that appeared on his lover's lips made him fear what the answer was, and he bit his lips, hoping he'd remember that one.

"Kamekichi."

A jaded look appeared on his face, and he didn't really know how to take it. Souma seemed to find that hilarious, though.

"Are you kididng me?

\- I thought that at least, you would remember his name," the purple-head explained, before adding: "Kamekichi, meet Kaoru. I know it's hard, but you'll have to bear with him everyday, and probably for a long, long time, so please be kind to him!"

Kaoru wasn't sure that getting pinched on the nose by a turtle was being «kindly treated», but it didn't seem to have hurt him, so he let it go.

"Hello Kamekichi. Your new dad forgets to tell you I'm probably gonna call you Kamegorou by mistake because he likes teasing me, but welcome in our lives," he told the little one, and got pinched a second time. "If my nose survives."

He checked everyting was okay, and, fortunately, it was. The reptile hadn't been too violent, and he was glad about that point, because he wasn't sure he would have won against a turtle.

"It's his way to show you affection," Souma explained, before raising a finger in front of the pet's mouth, who immediately pinched it. "And if he nibbles, it's that he's hungry."

It was like those two had been sharing their lives for a while, and Kaoru couldn't help but feel a little jealous, but that was erased almost immediately by the joy in Souma's eyes. He felt glad he could have made at least one person happy during Christmas, and that it was Souma added to his joy. _I can't believe I used to hang out with some random girls_ , he thought, _I don't remember being so happy for a single Christmas._ And at home, for him, it used to be an average day, because his father thought a child that killed his mother didn't deserve to get presents, when they took the most important one away from the whole family.

"I'm sorry, mom..."

He always thought that on that very day - and on his own birthday, too - because that was the last and only thing he could do. That was also why he had already told the Kanzaki he wanted to spend an hour or two alone, in the afternoon. And wanted to go there and tell her how sorry he was, and just speak to her like he did every year. Maybe, one day, she'd pardon him.

"...ru? Are you okay?"

Souma's voice got him out of his thoughts, and he realized tears were falling from his eyes, on Kamekichi's back.

"Ah..." He softly rubbed the tears away from the pet. "I'm sorry, Kamekichi, I didn't want to do that," he explained, "I hope you don't mind."

The turtle pinched his finger, and he sighed out of relief.

"...Kaoru, what happened?

\- ... I'll tell you later," he said, unable to tell exactly what was going through his mind. "Maybe after I go and speak to her..."

He shook his tears away, and peaked at the store owner.

"Maybe we should choose equipments for Kamekichi and bring him home first, shouldn't we?"

Though there was that expression in his boyfriend's eyes, that told him they would probably talk about it again later, the second-year student finally vigorously nodded, and called the store owner. The old man came towards them, and after they explained Souma had found the one, he placed Kamekichi in another tank, so they could look for the equipments they wanted.

"Do you need help with it?" he asked, but Souma had already chose the tank, the sand, the decorations, the lights, everything his new pet needed.

"I think he knows what he wants," the blond laughed.

The old man looked impressed, but happy.

"I'm glad this kid goes with someone who knows what they're doing," he sighed in relief, before checking on the turtle. "He's been hard to manage, and I feared his new master wouldn't know how to do with him, and bring him back to the store soon."

Kaoru couldn't help but feel proud of his boyfriend. _Of course_ he knew what he was doing!

"He has experience with turtles," Kaoru explained, smiling at his way-too-much-happy boyfriend. "He's the one who takes care of our club's turtle at school, and has been waiting for this moment for a while, now," he explained, and the store manager looked at him.

"You're a very caring friend, aren't you?" the old man told him, and he laughed, quite awkwardly.

_Friend, right,_ he kept for himself. It was probably better that the store manager had no idea about their true relationship, in the end.

"So, do you have everything you need for Kamekichi?" Kaoru asked, and his junior vigorously nodded, almost letting the tank fall.

The storne owner put the turtle in a way smaller tank with water, and looked at both of them, not knowing who was going to take it. Kaoru offered to take the largest one and all it had inside just so Souma could take care of his new turtle on the way, so he started by paying for all of it, before they took all they needed, and started walking back home.

On the way, Kaoru couldn't help but notice Souma's attention was all focused on the turtle, and that made him smile. He had, more than once, had to push him on the right way, and almost stumbled when they crossed ways with his sister. The woman looked at both of them with curious eyes, but suddenly looked angry. _Hah, did you take Souma for a woman? Sorry to announce that, sis, but he's hotter like that._ A proud grin took place on his lips, and the woman looked even angrier.

"Souma, careful," he said, noticing his boyfriend was too close to the cars.

He deliberately placed a hand on his waist to pull him closer, and heard his sister call him a «fucking fag, glad you're out of the family» the second they crossed each other's paths.

"Good, because I'm glad I'm out too," he replied loudly, not stopping a second.

His junior looked at him, confused, and Kaoru sighed, not really wanting to explain.

"That was my sister," he casually said, "an asshole who hates that her brother has a better-looking boyfriend than her."

He had said that last part loud enough for her to hear, but his provocation did not get an answer. _Aw, come on, at least look at me as if I was your worst ennemy!_ But he didn't get anything, except the satisfaction of saying what he thought out loud. He just hoped people around them didn't take care, he wasn't sure his public coming out would be appreciated. On the other side, he saw his lover blush, and wonder what he had done for that, and if it was good or bad news.

"You're lucky both my hands are holding Kamekichi, or I would have punched you," the purple-haired young man finally answered.

Good news, then.

He smiled, and placed the tank on the ground while he opened the Kanzaki's front door.

"We're home!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be having lotsa tests very soon, so here's yet another, loooong chapter for you guys ♥ Have fun!

Every morning was the same, during the holidays: Souma woke up first, went to his kendo lesson with his father, while Kaoru took his time, and helped doing the house chores. When the younger came back, he was the one to have his kendo lessons, and he talked with his father-in-law, a moment nobody else was aware of, and that made him feel better. They talked about lots of things, sometimes very random, sometimes just about how he felt about the lesson, or his current life, about what he wanted and was going to do after graduation. They talked about him getting a flat, and if Souma would live with him or not - at first, Kaoru had in mind that _of course_ he would come, but, while talking with Nobuhiko, understood there were a few things to consider first.

After that, Satomi usually came home from work and, after sharing a meal, Kaoru left for UNDEAD's practice. It wasn't as intense as it used to be, but they practiced for the whole afternoon, in a way more relaxed atmosphere than they did before the holidays. It probably was thanks to Christmas and the New Year, and that relaxed ambiance allowed them to correct points they were having hardships before.

On the New Year's Eve, Souma, Kaoru and both their units went to eat in a fancy restaurant together, before they went and watched the first sunrise of the year, and did their first visit to the shrine. Kaoru had wished for the end of the schoolyear to go well, and he hoped it would go the way it was supposed to.

And then, the last term opening ceremony came up. The tension had been rising from the new year on, and Kaoru fought a few times with his junior. He knew - at least he hoped - it was only due to the nervousness, and the risk there was at the end of the dream festival, but he found himself wondering more than once if their relationship was a good thing.

_Shut up, mind, you're just trying to make me confused,_ he told himself. _I know what it is, it's not the first time, after all you tried to make me believe I didn't like men, I know how you work!_

It wasn't always efficient, but it had been enough for him not to bring the subject up, and somehow, he preferred that. The night before the opening ceremony, he had had a lot of difficulties to fall asleep. There was too much on his mind. Luckily, he got a slap on the head, and a kiss on his forehead, another one on his nose, a last one on his lips, and Souma had told him that he didn't need to fear anything. That they were the best of the world - it wasn't true, and sounded childish, but at least it made Kaoru laugh. Thanks to that, even if it was already two o'clock, he fell asleep.

They were almost late on the fatal day, and Kaoru hated himself for not hearing his fifteen alarms. Or rather, he had probably heard them, but also stopped them and fallen asleep again right away. Luckily, his unit members were the obstinate type, and Rei called him only eight time before he finally realized what was happening.

"Shit, we're late!" he blurted out, and saw Souma's confused look, before the younger realized what the problem was.

"Glad you realize it. Don't worry, though, I just called you to check if you were up or not, did that with the others too. You can still manage and be at school on time."

He could hear the mocking smile in his best friend's voice, and if he had been there, would probably have punched him in the face. But it wasn't the right thing to think about, and Kaoru prepared himself and his things as quick as possible, followed by Souma.

He checked he had his scene costume, and everything he needed, and probably never ate his breakfast that quickly before the two of them rushed to school. Once there, he quickly kissed his boyfriend, leaving him with his class for the moment, and joined his unit's lodge.

"Sorry I'm late!" he apologized, and immediately went to change.

He felt his leader's look on his back the whole time, and wondered what he could have done to be looked at like that. Had he done anything weird?

"Kaoru.

\- Yes!

\- You're early.

\- Yes!... Wait, what?"

Half naked, he turned towards Rei, and tilted his head.

"I'm _what_?

\- You probably stressed out too much, because you're like, half-an-hour early.

\- ... But you?

\- I'm a whole hour early, because I was at Eichi's, and he has a whole speech to do before the Dream Festival starts."

_...Oh._ For a mere second, Kaoru wondered if it would be alright for the Emperor, but he remembered UNDEAD was supposed to go first, and that was probably better for him. He didn't want to fight against someone whose energy wasn't at its best. No way. Especially if they were going to show him he couldn't do everything he wanted.

"...Are you sure we can win this? I mean, _fine_ has a lot of fans. More than we do."

He heard a sigh, and turned towards Rei.

"I don't care," he said. "I don't care that they have more fans or that people bet on them rather than us. I just want to give everything I have. Listen to me, Hakaze. I. am not. losing. this Dream Festival. Neither of us are. We're gonna kick _fine_ 's ass, and I'm gonna give him the lesson of his life... If it has to be the last."

Silence fell, and Kaoru bit his lip for a second.

"You probably shouldn't think about that last point.

\- You're wrong. I _am_ thinking about this point, and it's in the center of my thinking.

\- Isn't it gonna bring you down?

\- It's the exact opposite." The harsh tone in Rei's voice startled him. "If I don't think about it, I - we might lose our motivation. It's because it's probably the last that it is so important, Kaoru. It's because it's the only thing I can do," he heard tears starting to mix with his leader's voice, "to help the man I love," he could swear Rei was on the verge of breaking down, and he didn't know what to do to prevent that, " _to_ _find any worth in his life_!"

He had to force Rei to sit, and bring him a glass of water so he would calm down. He had understood. But he needed Rei not to break down if he wanted him to keep his energy till the end.

"Understood. It's okay, Rei. I understand. I think. I'm bad at this, but anyway, we're gonna win."

His leader nodded, and once he had made sure Rei would be okay, finished changing. At least, that would be done. He closed his eyes for a minute, and sat on the room's sofa.

"Hey," he finally told Rei. "Do you know anything about Adonis and Koga?"

He was curious about that point, and he wasn't completely sure it was a good thing, because it was the first time he cared about something like that, but he needed to know.

"Mh? I know a lot of things about both of them, what's with that question?"

Okay, his unit was just a bunch of idiots, and their leader was the ultimate idiot.

"No, I mean. Them. Together. As in «Are they having a relationship or am I seeing gays everywhere now that accepted myself?».

\- Oh..." The self-proclaimed vampire seemed to think about it, but finally shrugged. "If there's something between them, I am not aware of it. But I must admit you're right on one point: they _are_ being very close, lately. Mh..."

A smile started to take place on Rei's face, and Kaoru suddenly regretted talking about that.

"Okay, I'm afraid of you.

\- Don't be. I just want to help my friends, after all~."

_That's precisely why I'm afraid of you, actually._ He kept his thought for himself, hoping his friend wouldn't do stupid things, and finally decided to check his lyrics, before walking for a few minutes. As long as he was ready on time, it would be okay, right?

On his way, he met Hibiki, who was actively playing magic tricks to curious children who were there for the Dream Festival, and filled their eyes with stars. Even though he wasn't really close to that creature, the scene made him happy, and he stayed for a few seconds to observe the magic tricks. A few minutes later, he left the place, and stumbled upon the unit's hair and make-up artists, who took his by the shoulders and had him walk back, towards the dressing room. He couldn't help but charm them with a punchline (it felt safer now he knew he didn't mean them, and that it wouldn't lead anywhere) but ended up following them quite willingly, after being rejected (he faked being hurt by that, but at least it was clear to everyone that he didn't mean it).

When he entered the dressing room again, he had the surprise to discover his bandmates had arrived - he wasn't out for very long, though, when did they come? - and were talking happily. Doggie seemed to have a considerable amout of energy, and that was a good thing, because it would raise everybody's energy, and they needed it to win against their adversaries that day. Though the last member of the unit seemed calmer, he still seemed touched by Koga's energy, and that was a good thing.

"Okay, guys, I hope your holidays were good," Rei started, "because we are going to provoke an _explosion_. I know it won't be easy, and I don't know how many people are gonna support us, but this won't bring us down, alright?"

The whole unit shouted in response.

"Perfect. This is what I'm expecting from you. So now, guys, get ready, we have asses to kick out of this game."

Another war cry answered him, before they finally went under the cares of the make-up and hair artists. _You can't fight your nemesis without looking great, huh?_ He smiled at the idea, and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He felt good. For the first time, he really had the feeling that he looked good. And that was awesome.

A few minutes later, the units had their last reharsals, and finally, the Dream Festival started. Tenshouin's opening speech was the same as always, and the hall was filled with screams and cheers, until he went backstage.

"It's your turn, now," he told UNDEAD when he crossed their path. "Don't disappoint me.

\- Have I ever disappointed you?" Rei replied with a mocking smile.

"You, never, but those children of yours? Except for Blondie, the last DreamFes was terrible," he replied, a smirk on his lips, before leaving.

Kaoru immediately noticed the expression on Adonis's face, knowing it way too well. So, while Corgi was barking insanities at the Emperor, Kaoru faced his friend, having him look into his eyes.

"Hey. Adonis. Look at me. Look at us. The last DreamFes wasn't perfect, but we trained like the demons we are for today, alright?"

He had to wait a little, but finally got a nod, before his junior's face was back to its usual.

"You're right, Hakaze, we can't let them win."

The determination the blond was seeing made him very happy, and he finally managed to focus on the important part: getting on stage, offer the best performance ever, and then go backstage. _Heh, easy-peasy._ Or so he liked to think; but he knew it wouldn't be that easy.

So, when they stepped on the stage, his heart was beating fast. He couldn't allow himself any mistake. He couldn't help but feel nervous. Yet, as soon as the music started, that sensation disappeared: he was feeling ready to conquer the world. He was filled with an assurance that surprised even himself, and somehow, during the performance, felt like they were doing even better than in any rehearsal. _Beat that,_ fine _, or at least try, heh._

He would give everything, until his last breath, for the performance, and sometime during Darkness4, he almost lost his breath. _Fuck, we worked on that, though!_ Fortunately, he managed for it to be discreet enough (at least he hoped so), and, even though his body was hurting, even though his voice was harder and harder to get out, even though he used so much energy his breath was something he had to focus on reaching for, Kaoru decided not to give up, and he hoped the other members were doing the same. He could feel them, around him, he could feel their energy, and he could feel the cheerings in the audience.

Thanks to that, he managed to regain his energy, and gave everything he could in the rest of the Dream Festival. He couldn't allow himself to give less, and, fortunately, all of UNDEAD seemed to be in the same mood. It seemed that nothing could take their energy away anymore, and that even if they were close to death, they'd keep singing and dancing. Just so they could stay together. Just so they could keep going as UNDEAD. _Just so I can get a dream, and follow it_.

At that mere second, he had understood. He had been looking for it for so long, yet there it was. In front of his eyes. From the beginning. _I_ have _a dream..._ He could almost reach it. And he needed to reach it before the end of the live, because that was how he would be able to go on.

As all the members were getting closer for a step, he could feel their love and support, and gave them his. They were a team. They were close friends. They were what _fine_ would never be. He exchanged a charming smile with Rei, that made the fans scream, and he had to do his best to ignore the crushing death look he was getting, or he wouldn't be able to focus on the live.

_Oh, so you're jealous, darling?_

He sent a kiss towards Akatsuki, who were sitting at the balcony, away from the fans, as well as the other units, and smiled when he received another look. That one was still a little angry, but the will to kill him had disappeared, and that was the only thing he had hoped for.

When the performance finally ended, UNDEAD's members were all out of breath, exhausted, and Rei even laid on the stage, making people whistle and scream again. Any student would have guessed he was just tired and wanted to lay down, but the fans seemed to interpret that as something else, and the voices got louder when he dropped the jacket.

"Grandpa, you know, if you do that, your fans won't be able to control themselves," Kaoru told him, off mic.

His leader just shrugged, and, between two breathes, asked him:

"Can you help me get up? My back hurts too much."

He nodded, and helped his friend get up, hoping this wouldn't be interpreted as anything else than what it was. He knew he could dream, but at least Souma wasn't threatening to cut him just with his eyes, and that was the important point.

After an ending speech, thanks, and a few goodbyes, the unit left the stage, getting to their dressing room. On their way, they met the rival unit, and the smile on Tenshouin's face wasn't reassuring at all.

"I see... I underestimated you," he told them, before walking towards the scene, accompanied by the rest of the unit.

Hibiki shot them an «amazing!» while crossing their path, and at least, that made Kaoru smile. But right now, he just wanted to rest.

"Heh," the fake vampire started, "He's terrified.

\- Hah? He looked pretty confident, though," Doggie replied, and Kaoru only noticed how much calmer than usual he was.

"That's exactly what it is: looks. That's the thing he counts on, but I've seen enough of his expresions to assure you that you can believe me when I say he's terrified."

And that seemed to please Rei way more than needed. Kaoru, though, wasn't so sure about that. Or, rather, he had in mind that they shouldn't lower their guard while their opponents were on stage. He could guess it just by the cheers of the crowd: _fine_ had many, many fans.

"Let's just rest, for now.

\- Aah, I wanna see their performance, though...

\- Rei, you almost fainted on the stage. Get some rest, you'll watch them through the TV."

The idea didn't seem to please his leader, but when the oldest member of the unit tried to walk by himself and opened their dressing room's door, he almost fell out of exhaustion.

"See? Rest first. If you feel better, you can go and watch them," Adonis argued, and they all sat, except Corgi who was looking for water for everyone.

He gave everybody a bottle, then sat on one chair, next to Adonis.

"I don't know if we'll win," he admitted. "I almost collapsed during DESTRUCTION ROAD."

His gaze lowered, and Kaoru bit his lips. Rei almost fainted, himself had lost his breath, Koga almost collapsed... He looked at the other second-year student, hoping everything had been right for him.

"To be honest, my chest started hurting at some point, I almost lost my breath, and it still hurts a little."

_Fuck._ None of these had never happened in rehearsal, and they had repeated their whole performance more than once. Why did these problem have to occur during the real thing? _I just hope it's not gonna make us lose points..._ He drank a gulp of water, and suddenly noticed he was shaking. He spilled part on his water on his clothes, but that didn't matter. They were already covered with sweat, and would have to be washed as soon as possible.

As soon as he was feeling a little better, while the second-years were changing places to sit on the dressing room's armchair - Koga on Adonis's laps, he noted - he changed his t-shirt for the unit's generic one, but didn't get the chance to put it on before someone knocked at the door, invited to come in by the other members.

"My, you could wait for me before taking your clothes off," he heard, and, a smile on his lips, finished putting his shirt on.

"Oh, but that would be indecent for my unit, if I waited for you," Kaoru replied, while Souma approached him to take him in his arms.

In the meantime, he could swear he had heard the sound of a camera shutter, but apparently none of those, not even a smartphone, was turned towards them.

"Are you sure about that?" the younger asked, and Kaoru raised an eyebrow. "Because your unit members aren't very decent either."

His boyfriend had to show him his classmates, who were very obviously making out in their corner, probably not aware that the vampire was taking so many pictures of them.

"Oh. ...Oh. So we were right, apparently.

\- We were," his lover nodded. "That's great, though.

\- I'm not so sure about that," the blond immediately admitted, and bit his lips. "I mean, it's awesome for them, but the day something goes wrong, it might just blow UNDEAD up."

He was a bit nervous about that point, because he had gotten to the Rei level of «protect UNDEAD», and wanted to fight for it with all his strength.

"Nah," the leader replied, from his sofa, "there's no way that happens."

Kaoru looked at him, ready to tell him anything could happen (one proof of it was that they had been having frequent fights for a while, with Souma, and though he hadn't expected it, on the moment it had scared and hurt him), but the leader didn't let him talk:

"They communicate a lot, and they're made to be together, just like you guys. Also, you shouldn't worry, the day Doggie does something very wrong, he's dead on the spot, killed by Adonis's sisters.

\- That's a point we _should_ be worrying about, I think."

Kaoru got a confused look from his friend on the sofa, and ignored the «oh, you're cute» probably due to his proximity with Souma.

"What do you mean?

\- I mean that, if Doggie's six feet under thanks to Adonis's demonic sisters," his boyfriend nodded vigorously, and Kaoru wondered what had happened with them, "UNDEAD will be down to three, and that's a problem, too."

Silence fell, until the raven-haired student finally let out a «...Ah.» that meant everything, before he went back to peaking at the other two. Suddenly, it was like something had stinged him, and he went up on his feet.

"Oh fuck," he said, "I need to go to the live hall."

Rei's eyes were sticking to the screen in a horrified way, and before any of the other four could say anything, he hurriedly left the room. Souma looked a bit confused, and had to turn towards Kaoru, who shrugged before he looked at the television, transmitting images of the show. And there, he saw _fine_ 's performance. It didn't seem bad at all, but somehow, he had the feeling that something was wrong with it. He couldn't put his finger on what the problem was, right now, and went to sit on the sofa so he could get a better look at it, gently tugging his junior's hand in case he wanted to come closer, too.

Both of them focused on what was happening on the scene but nothing seemed clear to the third-year student until a deep voice remarked:

"Tenshouin looks paler than usual."

He jumped, and next to him, Souma did, too. It took him a minute to remember they weren't alone in the room, and that Adonis was at his sides, Doggie behind them, his arms resting around his bandmate's neck.

"Yeah," Koga confirmed, "and all the other ones seem to be focused on him more than on beating us. That's unnerving, seriously, we did our best and that's what we fight against? What a joke."

Kaoru looked at the screen, and clenched his fist. For once, he perfectly understood his junior's feelings, and that pissed him off. So he stood up, trying not to shout.

"Kaoru?" Souma's voice seemed worried, and he felt sorry for that.

"Let's go and join that vampire-bastard. We need to cheer on them.

\- Wow, wait a minute, you want to cheer on our rivals?"

_Yes. That is exactly what I want. That is exactly what they need._

"Yes. If we don't, everything we've done would have been for nothing. This is the last time we confront _fine_. Ever. Do you really want to win against them when they're not at their top? Especially you, Corgi?"

He saw an image of his junior raging against him for calling him «Corgi», but none of this happened. Instead, the young one disappeared in an instant, before re-opening the door.

"What are you waiting for, guys? We have to get there before the end of their performance!"

Kaoru smiled, and looked at his friends. Adonis was already joining Doggie, and Souma...

"Do you wanna come with us? You don't need to. I know how you feel about _fine_.

\- You should also know how I feel towards fighting, and opponents. They're not worthy of you for that Festival, if they don't give their best." The third-year student smiled: he had his answer already. "That's not something I can accept. I'm coming."

So, joining the other two, they rushed towards the hall balcony, and took place next to their leader, so they could cheer on their rivals with all their strength. Rei seemed, at first, surprised to see them around, but Kaoru placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You should have dragged us all here first, you know," he told his friend, before they were back to what they were here for.

_fine_ didn't seem to react to it at first, but as soon as the song ended, all the unit's faces turned towards UNDEAD and their extra Akatsuki. Hibiki took his mic, shouting an «Amazing!» at them.

"Looks like even our opponents for today are cheering for us, what an honour!" he said, and that clearly was unexpected from the other members, "Let's not disappoint them, and show them which unit is the best!"

Next to him, Kaoru heard a sigh of relief.

"That's more like it," Rei said with a tenderness the blond had never heard from him, and he heard Tenshouin chuckle.

"You're right, Wataru~! They offered us a great show, so let's show them something at least twice better. Are you ready?"

The Emperor asked the question to the audience, before repeating it for the unit, and as soon as all members had confirmed their will, the music started. Kaoru had never been very fond of _fine_ 's music style, but he had to admit that, at least, that one was beautiful, and there were feelings in it. The performance itself was suddenly very different than what it had been just a few minutes earlier, and the atmosphere at the balcony felt way more relaxed.

"Looks like things are back to normal," he heard his lover whisper, and felt a hand slide against his hips.

Kaoru rested his head on his junior's shoulder, leaving a kiss in the crook of his neck.

"You're right. Feels weird to be cheering for them, but..." He looked at his best friend, who was giving all his attention to his lover's unit. "...Let's let him enjoy it as long as he can."

The sole answer he got was a nod, and he closed his eyes. The calmer atmosphere felt so good he could have fallen asleep there, with _fine_ 's songs as a lullaby, and his junior next to him.

"I'll miss this school," he admitted without really being aware he was saying it out loud.

"Oh?

\- I'll miss being able to see you randomly during the day," the explanation was, "and to have to go to the club or practices. I'll miss having to fight to stay in the competition. I'll miss all those weirdos, too.

\- Am I one of the weirdos?

\- You are, but unless you wish I do, I'm not leaving you."

He heard a huff, and got as an answer:

"Shut up and look for a flat big enough for two."

He blinked, and his lips formed a silent "o". _A flat big enough for two..._ He couldn't wait, even though that meant they'd have to wait for one more year for Souma to join him. Looked like life had decided to make it up for all the years before. He voiced a quiet «thank you», before the next song started.

_fine_ 's performance seemed to last longer than the usual, and Kaoru was glad he saw such a fighting spirit in their eyes. He was quite fascinated by Tenshouin's attitude - the heinous feeling that usually emerged from him had let its place to... Pure fun? He glanced very often towards the balcony, where Rei was never averting his eyes away from the unit, and, somehow, this had a very comforting feeling. At least, for once, the Emperor's unit seemed to have real fun.

Hibiki seemed to face the hatred that had started developping towards him with as much joy and fun as he could, and Himemiya and Fushimi seemed like children. It was strange, honestly, to see Himemiya give instead of taking. It was so rare. _If this is the last_ fine _performance I ever watch, I'm glad it's this one..._

For the whole time, his eyes couldn't avert from the stage, and apparently, none of UNDEAD reacted immediately when ther rivals left. It took Souma snapping his fingers in front of their eyes before any of them got back on earth.

"Are you alright?

\- ...Yeah, I'm amazed. For once... Their performance had a good feeling," Kaoru blinked, before checking on his band mates, especially Rei, who didn't seem to react to his junior's fatal finger snap. "Hey, Vampire mom," he called, and barely saw his comrade move, "come back on earth. He's waiting for you backstage."

Rei took another second before he finally turned his head towards his friend, and Kaoru crossed his arms on his chest while waiting for any response at all. The younger ones were already going back where they belonged, and the three of them were to follow. But for the first time ever, he saw the fake vampire rush in the stairs - all of them feared he tripped and hurt himself - and run in the corridors. While Kaoru blinked two or three times, Doggie clicked his tongue.

"Fuck it," he barked, "we're doomed. Their performance was better than ours."

It seemed to turn him crazy, but Kaoru wasn't so sure of that, and the victorious unit remained a mystery for now. And somehow, for now, it didn't bother him that much. After all, what was important had already been learned. Except...

"So, are we gonna see UNDEAD disbanding today?" the Emperor teased, and Kaoru suddenly wanted to punch him.

But before he could say anything, his leader huffed, and replied:

"Come on, our performance was better," he falsely bragged, making the others smile. "And..." His face was suddenly so serious Kaoru had to bite his lips. He _knew_ that face, for he had seen it too often, lately. "Whether we lose or not will have no influence on my decision. Your disbanding UNDEAD will have no effect on us. For we _are_ UNDEAD. You can't kill us."

Everyone was probably expecting the azur-eyed man to laugh or mock him - at least that was what Kaoru had expected - but he did neither. Instead, his gaze lowered, and he took his time, breathing a few times, while his hand was clutching on his wheelchair's armrest, before he finally replied:

"I know."

And those simple words were enough to amaze everyone. Because, wasn't that an acceptance of his attitude, in some way? Wasn't he recognizing he had gone too far?

"The message was clear enough. The four of you are gonna fight until your existence vanishes from this world. I'm sorry," he finally said. "I'm sorry for what I've done." He turned towards his own unit members, and added: "I'm sorry for what I did to you too. Because of me, you've been hated by so many people... It's okay, now. I won't be around for long anymore, anyway."

_What?_

"Eichi," Rei started, but he was interrupted.

"Eichi. Don't apologize for all this. We followed you on our own will. Please lead us until the end. Because you are, to us, our irreplaceable friend, and our leader."

Hibiki used to seem so carefree, and then, suddenly, he seemed more serious than ever. That was strange, and somehow difficult to conceive. What was going on here?

"Thank you, Wataru, Tori, Yuzuru," Tenshouin smiled, and the blond had to double-check he wasn't dreaming the sincerity in it. "You are... All, dear friends to me."

Rei's eyebrows furrowed, but the man didn't act at all.

"You are a dear friend to us too," Fushimi replied, and that was confirmed by the other two.

"Shouldn't we leave them alone?" Kaoru asked, feeling like a third wheel, but instead of replying, his leader approached Tenshouin.

"Hey. We're gonna rest a moment. You should do so. I put an extra ventolin spray in your bag, in case you need it," he casually said, "we'll be in our dressing room while waiting for the results."

The school dictator nodded, smiling, and let them go away, leaving Kaoru suspicious. He turned towards his boyfriend, hoping for a confirmation he wasn't getting paranoid, and got a worried nod. _Okay, that's bad news._

"Hey, Rei," he called.

"Yeah?

\- ...That advice was unusual of you, wasn't it?"

The leader's face suddenly seemed darker, and, hands in his pockets, the man took a deep breath, letting the UNDEAD-only couple walk together towards the dressing room.

"He's starting to have difficulties breathing. You heard it too, didn't you?

\- I wasn't sure of it," Souma was the one who replied, but Kaoru nodded in agreement.

"I'm scared," Rei admitted. "I'm scared because I don't want that to happen. Even though I knew I'd have to deal with it from the beginning... It's still terrifying. I'm not ready," he admitted, looking suddenly very tired.

"I don't think you can ever be prepared," Kaoru admitted. "I never knew my mother, but if my family hates me so much because of her death, I think it says it all."

His face darkened, and he told himself he rather not think about that at all. The uneasy silence around him was speaking enough.

"I'll do my best, then," the vampire finally told him while they were entering the dressing room.

Kaoru nodded, and followed him, but Souma's hand stopped him. He was surprised, but realized his boyfriend wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place. So, he was ready to let him go back to his place, but before he could say anything, Akatsuki's center placed a hand on his cheek, and told him:

"Hey. It's okay. It's over now. Nobody's blaming you for something you're not responsible of. She loved you. She loved you so much she had you born without thinking about her own health. She's here, in your heart. She's here with you. And I'm sure she, at least, is proud of her son." If, at first, he thought it was just to comfort him, the determined and sincere gaze he was getting told him it wasn't. "Look. You're trying your hardest to be a good man - I admire you on that point. And you are a good man. Now, go in that room, and take care of your best friend. I have to go back next to my unit so I can cheer on the man I love," the smile on Souma's face warmed his heart, and he hugged his lover before letting him go.

_Alright. But how do you comfort someone who's about to lose an important person?_ He shook the question away, and joined his unit in the dressing room. Even though Rei was, as usual, bullying the dog, Kaoru could see his gaze was different than usual, and breathed in. _Okay._ He approached, and looked into his junior's eyes. Of course, Koga barked, and he couldn't help but let a mocking smile appear on his lips.

"Sooo, Doggie, you and Adonis were hiding things from us, apparently!"

In the corner of his eyes, he could see the other second-year freeze, blush, and gulp. Adonis probably didn't intend on hiding anything, but Koga was, what, too shy?

"It's none of your concern!" Corgi replied, and Kaoru nodded.

"Yes of course. But have you considered your kissing as if there were no tomorrow in front of us would give it away?"

The teased one froze, too, and seemed horrified, as if a terrible truth had been revealed to him. _Don't tell me..._

"Don't tell me neither of you thought about that?" Rei interrupted. "Come on. Even Kaoru and Kanzaki are more discreet than that, and they're not even _trying_.

\- Hey!

\- What, that's the truth!"

He bit his lip. Actually, he had no argument: that was the pure truth.

"...Yeah, actually it is," he admitted, and that seemed to make his leader smile.

"See? So, Doggie, how long have you known you liked men? I'm curious," the raven-haired singer admitted.

"What?!

\- Actually, I'm curious too. I wasn't expecting UNDEAD to just be a bunch of gay dorks," Kaoru insisted, seeing Adonis try to disappear, a little farther. "Adonis, come on, it's okay, nobody's judging anything."

The purple-head seemed hesitant at first, but finally joined the trio, sitting quietly. He wasn't the one who could answer the question, but at least he wouldn't be staying in his corner. In the meantime, held by their vampire mom, Koga gave up.

"Okay, don't mock me. I just never thought about it. I mean, guys, you know me, love isn't my central interest, contrarily to that pervert playboy, here," Kaoru faked being shocked, "and, I don't know? Adonis and I just started spending more time together, and I got aware I was enjoying his presence more than others', and uh. Well, you know the thing, nights spent thinking about the person and all, I don't need to draw a picture, especially to you all."

The blond sighed deeply, congratulating his friends, before he added:

"Looks like I was the only stuck-up «I can't like men» one. That's sad," he told them.

"From what I understood, «stuck-up» doesn't define you at all anymore," the metis finally spoke-up, and Kaoru couldn't help but blush violently.

"How much does Souma tell you about us...

\- Oh, he just implies things, sometimes, but you know, sub-text expressions in japanese are close to the ones we use in my language," the second-year declared, and Kaoru wanted to get sucked in by the sofa and disappear in it.

"By the way, Kaoru," Rei started, _when did the conversation turned towards me, weren't we talking about Corgi?_ , "You said UNDEAD was a bunch of «gay dorks», but aren't you bi?"

_Hah, good question. Can I answer «Souma-sexual»? Because I'm very Souma-sexual._ He sighed, and rubbed his neck.

"I'm still thinking about it, trying to get things sorted out in my head. Considering how much I find the women I used to date irritating, I just don't know? I mean, as friends they were cool, but the ones I dated just because they were fans, well...

\- Don't think about it too much," Adonis interrupted him. "That's a thing you often do."

Their leader nodded, before explaining further:

"Yeah, you might never know the real answer, and that's alright. Look, Koga never thought about it and he's doing pretty good.

\- I'd do better if you released me, demon.

\- Also, cheesy you seems in very deep love - that's quite astounding to be honest, I'd never have thought you could become so addicted to someone - so maybe, at least for now, as long as you treat him well, that doesn't matter, does it?"

He blinked, and opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind. That was quite a deep discourse, actually, and he wasn't sure he was ready to give his answer yet. He'd have to think further about it, but _please, not right now._

"Thanks for all your points of view, guys," he finally managed to say. "I'll think about it.

\- Remember," Rei insisted, "not having an answer is okay too."

He smiled, and nodded. For now, the only answer he had gotten was that he was blessed to be surrounded by such friends.

So, he thanked them, and they went on talking about more casual things, until they were called for the results.

"So, time to know how it worked," Rei told them, and they got out of the dressing room, ready to go back on stage, after everyone had changed into their unit's t-shirt.

For the first time ever, Kaoru felt very tense about the results. He didn't want to lose, especially not if it meant disbanding. He had fought with all his strength. They all had. And that, despise of their health. When _fine_ was on sight, they seemed a lot more relaxed, and though Koga was suggesting it was because they were sure they'd win, Kaoru replied _fine_ had nothing much to lose. It wasn't their last Dream Festival, and they weren't threatened of disbanding if they lost. They were the only ones in danger. And that raised the tension a little more, but Rei, at least, seemed determined more than stressed out, and Kaoru knew it could only mean one thing: if they lost, he wouldn't accept their disbanding without fighting again.

As Hasumi approached the two units, he looked at both of them. And, unexpectedly, didn't give Kaoru the Disapproving Mother look he was used to. If it was part of his efforts in accepting him or just courtesy, Kaoru would never know, because he didn't get the time to ask, given his classmate went on stage for the ending speech. Even though it was the exact same length as it always was, for once, it seemed to never end, as if the results were to be kept a secret for the longest time possible; and that made him nervous. It was probably the same for the others, because the silence was so thick they could almost touch it.

Finally, the two units were called on stage - in the audience, exclamations about how this looked like «angels versus demons» were heard here and there - and Hasumi talked a little more, congratulating both units for their performances, before the results were finally given.

"Tonight's battle was long and harsh," he stated, "so much that we had difficulties establishing a winner. Even the results show it, for the winner's score is just a little higher than the loser's. But we did establish one. Everyone, tonight's winner is..."

_Probably_ fine _, right? Because they got more energy when we came to support them. And they learnt something in the end. Ah, it's not like I didn't expect it..._ They probably all expected it, in silence, even though they had fought with everything they had in order for it not to happen. But if the results were so close...

"UNDEAD!"

_What?!_

He raised his head, shook it, and looked around him. He was dreaming, right? They had never, ever won a Dream Festival against _fine_. Actually, had anybody won one? His bandmates seemed as surprised as him, and all of them turned towards Hasumi.

"You fought with all your strength, and you wholeheartedly supported your opponents. Your performance's level was way higher than it usually is," the student council vice-president told them. "Everybody was impressed. Your score is way higher than it usually is. UNDEAD, congratulations. May we get your impressions?"

Rei seemed to be frozen on spot, and tears were in the corner of his eyes. Kaoru suspected they'd have been there even if they had lost (out of frustration, probably), but didn't say a word about it. Finally, their leader dared speaking.

"I am very grateful to you all. I cannot be more grateful than that, to be honest. There was so much at stake, none of us wanted to lose this. I think... I want to thank my unit members, who were the most destermined buch of guys I've ever seen. At the last Festival, I said we were lacking harmony," he reminded everyone, "but I think we found what we were missing at the time. Of course, we still have a lot to learn. And that's why we won't stop now. Please, everyone, keep following UNDEAD at least a little more," he smiled, and turned towards Hasumi, telling him, off-mic: "I hope you consider this as Akatsuki, because the next time we face each other won't be like the last one."

The man facing him smiled in return, and, still off-mic, replied:

"Don't worry, I already knew it. Because Akatsuki's gonna beat your ass majestically. And believe me, I won't let the lovebirds spoil that.

\- I won't let them either. We'll have our Kaoru at max level," he said, looking at his bandmate, and the blond had to refrain from telling them he was there and could hear them. The raven-haired singer turned his mic on again, looked at the audience, and told them: "Thank you for your support today. You were an amazing audience. Please support us at least until the end of the year, and I wish you to support _fine_ , too. They are great fighters, but all of us still have things to learn."

His speech over, he let Hasumi go towards the other unit, and, of course, the speech was held by Tenshouin. He had to wait before he started, because the audience was cheering on them, expressing their love and support even though they had lost. _Somehow, I can't help but hope it would have been the same for us if we had lost, but... Anyway. At least we don't have to announce that to them._ He saw the azur-eyed dictator make signs for _fine_ 's fans to calm down, and looked at them for a few seconds, in silence, before he started speaking.

"First of all, I would like to thank all of you. It's the first time we lose, and I think that means a lot about how supported and cheered on we are. But tonight, the real stars were UNDEAD. Because if they hadn't been there to support us, our losing would have been way uglier - way more deserved - and that is not how I want to fight those guys. So, thank you, UNDEAD. We learnt a lot of things, tonight, in addition to the fact you can't always win." He closed his eyes, and placed a hand on his heart; next to Kaoru, Rei was tensing up. "We learnt what we were missing in regards to mutual support, and open-mindedness. In regards to our attitude towards other units, and in regards to love. It is quite sad that we learnt it all in the last three months of _fine_ 's existence, since some of us are graduating in March. But at least, we're not ignorant of this anymore. So, thank you and congratulations on your victory, UNDEAD, thank you, everybody who supported us. Please support both of our units in the upcoming Dream Festivals."

The Emperor bowed very low, and was cheered on by the audience, until he got back up again. Frustration was readable on his face, but he didn't make a fuss out of it. Instead, Hasumi took the mic again.

"Indeed, this was only the opening of this school year's last term, and both units are to appear in a few more Dream Festivals. Please support all of this school's units in those, and may you do your best for your studies."

The curtains closed, and applauses could be heard. All mics went off, and the atmosphere seemed more relaxed. As both units were going back to their dressing room one last time so they could shower and change, he felt someone ruffling his hair, and saw Hasumi walk beyond them, going back to his original place. Kaoru looked at him in surprise, until his leader told him:

"Seems your mother-in-law finally accepted you," Rei declared.

"Seems so," he smiled. "It was about time!"           

His friend confirmed the fact, before he started walking towards Tenshouin. What, was he going to congratulate his opponent? That was quite cliché... So Kaoru didn't think too much about it, until he heard a muffled sound. He didn't react at first, but in the corner of his eyes, he could see Rei holding his boyfriend, a worried expression on his face.

"Wataru, his wheelchair!"

Kaoru noticed the long-haired magician had disappeared before his friend had finished his sentence. UNDEAD's leader was checking everything was okay, and, luckily, Tenshouin was conscious.

"Eichi, are you with me?" he asked.

"I am," the man replied, his voice so low Kaoru almost didn't hear it. "I'm alright, my body's just tired. Don't worry so much."

Kaoru saw his leader sigh, and guessed the «I can't not worry» that never left his lips. Hibiki finally came back, and Tenshouin placed himself in the wheelchair, before he caught his breath. Somehow, Kaoru couldn't help but wonder if he would really last until the end of the term, but kept that for himself. It wasn't a thing to say.

"Are you gonna be alright?" the blond couldn't help but ask, and the surprised expression on the Emperor's face was priceless.

It turned into a soft smile, before he answered:

"Yes, thank you, Hakaze. Okay, everyone, congratulations on this event. Now we should probably change and rest. I believe I'm not the only one strained by the performance."

As he talked, the expression on his face told so much. He seemed to be destroyed by what had happened, and Kaoru could only hope things would start changing in Yumenosaki. He closed his eyes, thinking about what life used to be before Tenshouin took control - it used to be so different, how come they had let all of this get done? - and found himself smiling. It was okay, all of this would be over soon, in some way or another.

"We should go home," the fake vampire suggested, and, except Himemiya, everybody confirmed.

The youngest of the lot seemed frustrated, and not very happy with what had just happened, and that made Kaoru winced. He wasn't there to hear any caprice, especially when the one who did the worst of those seemed to finally question his own behaviour. The pink-haired student looked at all of them in anger, and asked:

"Why do all of you think this is okay?" he asked. "Why didn't we win? We always win! Why is this time different?! There's something wrong, I'm sure you guys cheated!"

Fushimi seemed on the verge to tell him off, but Tenshouin and Hibiki were faster.

"Calm down, Tori," the dictator said, and before the youngest could say anything, Hibiki reacted:

"UNDEAD would never cheat."

The expression on Rei's face was weird, and Kaoru hoped what Hibiki had just said was true: he didn't want to have won if there had been cheating.

"How would you know?" Himemiya insisted. "Look at them, look at those losers! They just want us to feel bad! They want to take our place!"

This time, Rei seemed really angry, and was about to say something; but it was too late: Fushimi had slapped the kid. And that felt very strange, because this wasn't something anyone would expect from him.

"Listen, young master. I can not let you disrespect our opponents just because you are frustrated they won and we didn't. You can not always get everything you want; that's what you should have understood by now. Besides, I really doubt any of these people would ever think of cheating. But I'll let the people who know them be the judge about it."

There was such a frustrated expression on the first-year student's face that Kaoru felt pity. Cheating, huh? There were few things he would never have allowed, and cheating was one of them. And he knew that his unit members were unable to think about something like that. Doggie would rather punch someone directly in the face than cheat, the thing didn't even seem a possibility to Adonis, and Rei? he would have killed himself before even thinking about it.

"I'll let Eichi confirm this," Hibiki started, "but my friend here," he showed Rei, "would have probably ejected any cheater out of his unit. I trust his righteous way of thinking. You should understand, Tori. I'm not frustrated. I had lots of fun, it was an amazing live!"

As an answer, Tenshouin smiled and nodded.

"I had a lot of fun, too. And I think that, if UNDEAD hadn't been here to support us, then we would have gotten a reason to be frustrated. But it is not the case. Please, Tori. Don't hate people when you don't get what you want. Don't be like me."

On this words, he looked at Hibiki, and they suggested it was time to get changed. Kaoru was about to tell his leader the same, but noticed the younger members of their unit had disappeared... He sighed, and looked at his friend.

"...We should probably leave them alone for a while," he suggested, before frowning: he didn't know what the expression on his friend's face meant, but he was sure he wouldn't like it.

"Or maybe we should interrupt them!" _I knew I wouldn't like it._ "I mean, the dressing room is not the place to do such things, especially when people are supposed to get changed there.

\- Rei?

\- Yes?

\- Remind me what you did at our last Dream Festival. Something that implied you disappearing for half an hour after Tenshouin captured you."

The leader seemed to think about his, his finger tapping on his chin, before he remembered.

"Oh, that! Well, first of all nobody was going to use the dressing room, and secondly, it was my coffin we were in, not the dressing room. So unless either of them has a coffin, I see no reason not to interrupt them."

... _Remind me why I'm friends with this guy already?_ He let out an amused sigh, before walking towards their dressing room. Alright, they'd interrupt their friends' making out session. He knocked on the door, and heard Doggie's voice immediately answer them to come in. The older ones looked at each other, before entering, only to see their juniors already completely changed.

"Oh.

\- Sad.

\- Yeah. I'm disappointed.

\- They're still young, after all.

\- I can assure you «young» doesn't mean «pure».

\- What are the two of you talking about?!" Corgi finally shouted, throwing himself at them, only to be stopped by the leader's grip.

"Forget it, stay innocent for a few more months. You'll understand when you're older," he explained.

"Huh? Don't talk to me as if I was a child!"

_But you_ look _like a child_ , Kaoru kept for himself, before getting changed while the other two were fighting. After which he spent a few minutes just chatting with Adonis, hoping for their friends to stop fighting and just get changed. Unfortunately, they didn't seem decided. The blond sighed, and looked at his junior:

"Let's just go, they'll join us later," he suggested, and Adonis approved.

Now that the opening ceremony was over, he only had one thing in mind: going back to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading~!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened, but it happened

After that event, life seemed way calmer at Yumenosaki. Even if they were still training hard, the threat of their disbanding was now gone, and that helped focusing. And, contrarily to what the other members seemed to have thought, having to fight against Souma again before the end of the last term wasn't distracting, to him; it actually was a way greater motivation.

In the meantime, _fine_ 's loss seemed to have given strength to all the other units. They had finally come to think Tenshouin's unit wasn't unbeatable, and had started giving even more at every live, at every Dream Festival. Those were funnier than before, and units had started interacting with each other, and supporting each other so their opponents could give the best of themselves. Some people around weren't completely okay with that, at first, and Kaoru sometimes witnessed fights in the hallways - one time, especially, he saw Kagehira shouting at Kiryu, but the Karate club leader had just patiently waited for him to finish what he was saying and told him it was sad he wasn't able to overcome things that didn't affect him in the first place, especially when the concerned one had already overcome it - but the general atmosphere was completely different than it used to.

What he couldn't help but notice, was also that Tenshouin's health was quickly waning, and that he came less and less often to class. Sometimes, he seemed to fall asleep during lessons, and, before each of _fine_ 's live, he spent a few days in hospital. And Kaoru couldn't help but worry. Because first of all, his classmate was a human being, and he never had wanted anyone's death - not even his father's, not even after what had happened - especially when they were trying to do what they could. They had had long discussions about lots of things after the Dream Festival. About how the school should be ruled after his graduation (he remembered the Emperor almost saying "passing" instead), about how nobody should make the same mistakes. About how he never hated anyone, though he had taken all the hate on himself. About how lonely he had always thought he was, and how he had accepted it, and turned that into a twisted way of thinking.

About how hard it was for Rei to manage with both their relationship and that way of thinking he didn't like; how hard he had worked towards helping him change it, even just a little bit, everyday.

Kaoru had understood that everybody managed their loneliness in different ways. Himself used to date girls to try and hide it, get rid of it, but not in the best of ways. Yet, his unit and his club had proved him he would never be alone anymore. But Tenshouin had enclosed himself in it, only letting very few people enter his circle. And he knew that, if people liked him, if such people as Rei's younger brother, or even Hibiki liked him, then maybe he wasn't completely evil. Just lost. Besides, Hasumi would probably have thrown him through a window if he was _that_ evil of a person - the thought made him shiver. _I don't want Hasumi to throw me out a window_.

So, as the term was going on, and he was focusing on so many things; the club, practices, lessons (Souma working so hard on them had first made him feel bad for not working on them, and he gradually had started working hard), and even kendo lessons (Nobuhiko wouldn't let him skip those anyway); that somehow, he had just stopped thinking about his fear of graduating and not knowing what to do after that. Instead, he was focused on UNDEAD last Dream Festival of the school year: their last fight against Akatsuki.

He didn't talk about practice to Souma, or rather very vaguely, but they spent lots of time playfully bickering about how their own unit was going to win. Though, when it came to coming up in the stories they were telling Ryouta before he went to bed, Souma's parents told them to stop - that must have been a lot to stand, and they probably were too enthusiastic about that day. It actually shocked him the day his boyfriend forgot to feed Kamekichi - Souma usually fed him in the mornings and Kaoru in the evening, and if they ever forgot to do so, the turtle would pinch their fingers harder. That was how he had discovered it, because he usually was the one who forgot to feed the poor pet, and Souma just did it second thing in the morning - the first being kissing Kaoru until he woke up.

"Maybe we should calm down," he suggested, and the purple-haired student vigorously nodded.

"You're right. I'm so sorry, Kamekichi. Here you are, eat well, and not too fast."

The turtle seemed the happiest pet in the world, and Kaoru suddenly realized he was able to understand its expressions, now.

"...Oh.

\- «Oh»?

\- His happy expression looks different from Kamegorou's," he explained, and his junior jumped.

"Wait, are you telling me you can tell them apart now?"

It was true he had a hard time telling both turtles apart, so on pictures, he always bluffed on which turtle it was - more than half of the time, he was wrong, indeed, but why did his lover take so many pictures of both pets?

"Well, yeah," he answered, showing Kamekichi's head with the tip of his finger. "Kamekichi's red line on his head is continuous, until his shell. Kamegorou's breaks right here."

He delicately put his finger at the place the other turtle's red line broke, and Kamekichi stopped eating, to pinch his finger and push it away, as if he was saying «Let me eat in peace!».

"Sorry, Kamekichi, I was just showing something to Souma," he apologized, placing his hand out of the tank. "Have a nice day," he told the pet, and Souma hugged him. "Huh?"

The second-year student softly punched him in the abs, and he smiled. He still found that habit cute, especially since his boyfriend always made sure he never hurt him. Not to add that he'd rather have Souma punch him than try to cut him in halves. He had stop threatening him, but he knew the habit wasn't completely gone, since Hasumi sometimes came to his desk, slapping his hand on it, to tell Kaoru he should be careful because Souma had _yet again_ tried to cut something in halves - usually a vending machine. At least, he had completely stopped talking about committing seppuku, and that was a relief for the whole family - or should he say famil _ies_ , because Kiryu and Hasumi seemed more relaxed on that point, too.

"Hey, we're gonna be late," he whispered, but instead of letting him go, Souma just hugged him harder.

That felt weird, because it used to be the contrary. At a time, he was a slacker who would do anything just so he could not go back home, he skipped some classes, club meetings and practices, while Souma would try cutting him just because he had said something stupid (and hurt him), and would never miss a lesson. And right now...

He sighed, and hugged his lover back, feeling the uselessly happy smile on his neck, where a kiss was given. Oh, so that was all he was waiting for... That made him happy, and he even hugged Souma a little harder, before the hug broke itself, and the blond placed his forehead on his lover's.

"Is it because the year is almost over?

\- Kind of. And to make up for all the teasing," the purple-haired student explained. "And... I'm afraid.

\- Afraid of what?

\- Of you going away. Of your living alone in your flat, and all. I got used to never waking up alone very quickly, you know? And I fear... I don't know. Loneliness. Abandonment."

He looked into his junior's eyes, shocked. _I hadn't thought about that._ Of course he had thought it might have been better for him to live alone at first, because he'd have different working hours, and they had concluded Souma would be better staying home for his third year in Yumenosaki, but he hadn't thought about what there would be around it.

"Souma, look at me. In the eyes." He waited for a response, and as soon as he was sure Souma was being attentive, he continued: "I am never leaving you alone, or abandoning you. I've been thinking about how to manage, and I wanted to spend my free days here - I talked about it with your father, don't worry. But since I haven't signed for any flat yet, I can also stay here one more year. I just don't want it to have any influence on your studies, alright?" Souma nodded, and Kaoru added: "You know, I think I'd do badly sleeping alone, too. I never thought I'd grow so addicted to simple things. I never thought I'd ever want to share my life so much with anyone."

At first, silence answered him, before he saw Souma's fist clench, ready to punch him. But the punch never came. Instead, tears filled his junior's eyes, and he wondered: had he said something wrong? Was he the only one thinking like that? Did Souma not want to hear that? He was so anxious his heart was beating at double the usual rhythm - or so he thought.

" _Kaoru Hakaze_!" he tensed up a little more. Oops? "Are these your wedding vows?"

It took him a few seconds to understand the question.

"...What?!

\- Because it sounds like wedding vows! And now I wish we could get married!" he replied, tears starting to roll down his face.

Kaoru immediately took to erasing them, and thought about the matter. Wedding huh? He wasn't sure he was ready for wedding. They probably were a little too young for that, too. But for sure, if Souma was the one proposing to him, and if they had a possibility to do so, he'd definitively say «yes». But somehow, he knew they didn't need that.

"So do I," he replied. "But you know, I don't need any wedding to tell the world I am already sharing my life with the most perfect man for me."

He had never seen his boyfriend become so red in his life, and he had to admit that was quite cute. But before any of them could say anything, Satomi knocked at the door, telling them they were late for school. _Crap_.

"We should hurry," his boyfriend told him, his face still very red, and Kaoru agreed.

And thus, they rushed to school, where they had to stay a little longer, that day, because of the Dream Festival rehearsals. Both units were supposed to rehearse on the scene, so while one was performing, the other was practicing in their own practice room. Just a few months earlier, Kaoru would have been the happiest in the world, knowing UNDEAD was going second and thus staying later at school, but now, the situation was very different. Not to mention it meant they'd be late for that night's meal, and meals were now something he never wanted to miss. Nothing to do anymore with the time he used to buy a tasteless rice ball in a conbini.

At least, he was hyped for the festival: he had kept a frustration after their last Festival against Akatsuki (though _a lot of frustrations from that day_ had gone away), and wanted to show them. He wanted their last Festival of the year to be the best, and to start the spring in the best of ways. He probably wouldn't sleep very well that night, but that didn't matter: he would give everything he had, until his very last bit of energy. And that time, it wouldn't just rely on his junior wishing him luck or not.

Still, that night, instead of going to sleep quickly after being back home, they took Souma's big turtle plushie, a blanket, prepared a tea and a coffee, and placed themselves on the sofa. There was a brand-new documentary on turtles, and they wouldn't miss it for any Dream Festival in the world.

It seemed to do its job, because for once, Kaoru slept pretty well, noticing how comfortable the sofa was - both of them had fallen asleep before the end of the documentary, and he could still see remnants of his lover's tears in the corner of his eyes - and, luckily, Souma's phone's alarm clock had ringed early enough, even though he'd rather not have it ring every two minutes, especially when the ringtone was an annoying bell sound.

"Yes, yes," the purple-head muttered, his right arm popping out of the blanket to try and stop the alarm.

To no avail. It kept ringing, and Souma's eyebrows were frowned, as he tried to comprehend how it all worked. He finally gave up, and placed it on the blond's chest, before burying his face in the crook of his senior's neck.

"Kaoru~," he implored, and the blond laughed.

"Alright, I'm stopping it." he slid the «stop» button, and gave the phone back to its owner.

"...I can't believe you do that so simply.

\- It's okay, you'll get there someday. It's already great that you can send readable texts, now. Both your biological parents and your adoptive ones seemed so proud of you."

The thing made Souma laugh, and he got up quickly.

"I can't forget Kamekichi today!" he suddenly blurted out, and ran to the room, making Kaoru laugh.

Though, the time Souma spent with his turtle let him time to think, especially about what they had discussed the day before. The festival, that day, would be the last he'd be in, and though he was now sure he wanted to continue his activities as an idol, even more as UNDEAD's Kaoru, he wasn't really sure anymore if it was a good idea to leave the house.

He also knew that «last Dream Festival» meant «End of the year», and he started feeling a little sad. It wasn't like he had ever really wanted to leave school, no matter how things had been going there. But it was time for him, and all third year students, to go. But the saddest part of this day was that he knew his classmate only had less than a month to live, and death was a concept he always had difficulties to grab. He knew, he understood what was happening was terrible. But the only death he has known was just an empty seat in a broken family. At least, he got the fact that he'd need to support his best friend as long as needed.

Sighing, he finally went to the room, so he could take his clothes, leave a kiss on Souma's cheek, and go take a shower. Once ready, he came back to the room, preparing everything he needed - his scene clothes, accessories and vanity were already at school, but he wanted to add the bracelet the Kanzakis had given him for Christmas. As he did all the time, he touched the necklace Souma had offered him, and checked he didn't miss anything, while Souma went to take a shower. After that, he went and played with Kamekichi.

"Hello you~. I hope you cheered on Souma this morning, so he can give all he has for the Festival. Whoever wins," he looked around him and whispered: "we'll bring you very fresh food for your dinner!"

He kept talking to the turtle for a while, until he heard a laugh behind him. Blushing violently, he turned towards the origin of the laugh, but before he could ask his lover since when he was watching his dialogue with the turtle, the other one - trying to stop laughing - told him:

"That's way too cute! I'm sorry, I didn't know you talked with him in the morning."

He froze, and bit his lower lip:

"I always talk with Kamekichi while you're in the shower. He's very good at listening, and he always smiles," he explained, and Souma laughed harder. "Hey! Don't mock me!

\- I'm not!" the second-year replied, while laughing even harder, and it was difficult to believe. "I just can't help, that's so adorable, I didn't know you liked him that much!"

Kaoru pouted. Of course, he liked Kamekichi that much. And he knew Kamekichi liked him just the same.

"See, Kamekichi, your dad is cruel with me. He's mocking us having a parent-child bonding time," a smirk had appeared on his lips, and the laughter finally stopped.

"«Parent-child bonding time»?" he parroted, and Kaoru sticked his tongue out. "Oh, so you _are_ aware of how much you actually love him.

\- Of course I am. Look!" he said, delicately taking the turtle in his hands to show it to its owner. "He likes when I talk with him. It makes him happy, can you see his smile?

\- I can."

Satisfied by the answer, a smile on his lips, Kaoru carefully placed the pet back in his tank, before waving him goodbye.

"We have to go take our breakfast and go to school. Wish us luck!" he explained the pet, and Souma asked for the same, before they took their bags and went to the kitchen for their breakfast.

There, Ryouta greeted them first, before Souma's parents. The Kanzakis served the breakfast, giving an extra portion to the two students, saying they'd need extra energy for that day. That was a good enough reason for him, and he gladly accepted the serving. They'd need a lot of energy, to give the school the best of festivals.

And they knew they were determined, when facing each other. A few days prior, worried about how it would go, Nobuhiko had them face each other in kendo. He didn't give anyone a privilege or a handicap, even though their levels were completely different, since Kaoru had only been training for a few months. Of course he had very few chances to win, but that hadn't been what he had been concentrated on, and he had focused his determination on being able to see and feel where the attacks came from and how to fight back. He had lost, of course, but not as easily as he had thought he would, for he had been focused on doing his best.

Apparently, Nobuhiko had been satisfied with the fight, and seemed way more relaxed about their fight.

Kaoru, though, hoped his mind wouldn't be parasitized by thoughts about his future. Because at that moment, it wouldn't have its place on the stage.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe ~ Thanks for reading ~


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there ~ We're going back to a more "normal"-sized chapter (to my standards, haha), please enjoy your chapter ~

They arrived at school a little early, and no matter how much, on any other day, they'd have loved to use that extra time to just spend some time alone together in the park, they still went their separate ways, to their units' practice room. Kaoru was surprised to find out he was first, but quickly shrugged it off and started exercising his muscles. He had slacked off for two years and a half, after all, so he didn't lose anything by starting earlier. He used that time alone to take his mp3 player and start listening to music he liked, and focus on his exercises.

He was working on his very own weaknesses when the door opened. He hadn't noticed it at first, trying to perfect the new moves they had recently added in the choreography, but noticed Rei when he stopped the music.

"Hello, Mom," he playfully greeted, and was answered by a yawn.

"I'm not your mom," the self-proclaimed vampire replied, without much conviction.

"You said UNDEAD members were your children, so I'm just accepting your point of view," the blond defended himself, taking a bottle of water out of his bag.

"Have you ever thought of "dad"?" his friend asked while changing into his practice clothes, and Kaoru looked at him.

"Mh... No. Mom."

He smiled, and they trained a little more. When the other two arrived, they let their friends practice together, while they were changing and going under the make-up and hair artists' hands.

So many things went through his mind that a very few tears rolled down his cheeks, and his make-up had to be redone - he felt sorry for that, and did his best not to waste it all again. It was too early to cry, after all. When he looked at his reflection, his look became determined.

"Okay guys, I hope you're not planning on giving Akatsuki any present, because I'm not," he told his (finally reunited) band mates.

"That's what I hoped I'd hear," Rei commented, before nodding. "I never had any intention to lose.

\- Bah," Doggie barked away, "we won against _fine_ , we can win against Akatsuki.

\- That's exactly what I was fearing," Rei sighed, and Kaoru approved.

"What do you mean?

\- I've seen you more determined than that, Corgi," Kaoru explained. "We won against _fine_ , yeah. But because we had the _rage_ to win against them. We never lowered our guard. And if you lower it today, then we already have lost."

The second-year student froze, and looked around him for a second.

"And you?

\- Hah, do you really think I'm gonna lose face to Souma? He'd cut me into pieces if I lowered my guard. Be the enraged dog you usually are and don't lose your energy. The festival is about to begin."

The grey-haired student seemed to be reflecting about it, his eyes looking at the floor, and frowned. Kaoru had an idea - he wanted to see Akatsuki performing anyway, so why not bring Koga with him? He took his friend by the arm, and had him follow him.

"Huh? Where are you dragging me, pervert!

\- Stop barking, Corgi. We're gonna watch Akatsuki's performance.

\- Hah? Why would I want to see it?"

He didn't answer, and brought Koga to the balcony. The curtain opened the second they climbed the last step, and Kaoru ran to be on the first row - actually, there wasn't much place anymore, but Kanata had been waiting for him and had kept enough space. Kaoru thanked his Club President, and had Koga place himself next to him. Kaoru noticed how excited Kanata was to see Souma on stage - almost as much as him.

He had to admit, he was a little bit nervous watching them - Akatsuki's performances were always a pleasure to see, and they always took it seriously, giving everything they had to make it smooth, and beautiful. Of course they would be at the top. Nothing was neglected, be it the singing, the dancing, or the presence on stage. And, of course, as usual, Kaoru couldn't take his eyes off Souma. His boyfriend had clearly seen it, but he was a strong man, who wouldn't let that influence his performance in any way - except maybe for that smile, that looked brighter than usual.

Akatsuki was clearly having so much fun. And the audience was having at least as much fun, considering their cheers, and their behaviour. That was exactly what Kaoru had hoped for. That was exactly what he wanted to show his band mate, to try and motivate him. Koga could be the best of fighters when he wanted, but he needed a motivation. At his sides, Kaoru could feel his junior tense up. Perfect. A smile appeared on his lips, and he did his best not to miss anything - every single move, so little was it, was perfectly measured, and planned. And if anything went in an unplanned way, well - it didn't show, because they always managed to turn it into something beautiful.

That was how he had first been captivated by Akatsuki. At first he hadn't considered them much, except that Kanata had forced him to watch a few of their performances because «As «club mates», we should all «support» each other, bubble!». And then he had seen Souma. And then, every time they had performed, it was like he had been enchanted. And then... _We all know the story._

He smiled tenderly, blew a kiss towards the performing unit's center, who blew one to him in answer. That was cheesy, ridiculous, and he _loved_ it. He barely even heard the «disgusting» coming from his side, knowing Doggie wouldn't have said the same if it was about Adonis: he would probably have found that «super cute» and been impossible to hold back.

Speaking of the devil, the other second-year from the unit joined them, too. He explained that his dear friend was on stage, and he couldn't miss that, no matter how much he had told himself Kaoru probably had something important to tell Koga. The blond greeted him happily, telling him than more people meant more fun.

And after all, the only thing he cared about, right now, was how the live was going on, how much fun they could have as the audience - Kaoru actually danced with Kanata, cheered on his boyfriend with him, and it didn't take very long before his band mates finally joined them in their fun. The end of the year was almost there, and the atmosphere was getting more relaxed, that day, why wouldn't they take advantage of it? Not to say, anything that could distract him from thinking about how sexy he found Souma every time he performed was good to take, because they had to stay focused until the end of the Festival. Anything that would happen afterwards... Was their own concern.

After the last song, the blond, his heart pounding, excused himself to both his friends, telling them he had a lot of fun. While the grey-haired student looked at him as if he was mad, Kanata seemed happy.

"He's got someone to meet," the blue-haired third-year explained, and that was the last thing Kaoru heard of them before he rushed in the corridors, running until he reached backstage, and launched himself on the purple-head.

He heard a laugh, and felt a hand in his hair. He couldn't help but smile, and super excited and impatient for UNDEAD's performance, didn't manage to refrain from pecking Souma's lips - that was the most he could do for now, though he wouldn't say no to way more if he didn't have to be on the stage in a few minutes.

"So, how was it?" his junior's exhausted voice asking him, while he was catching up his breath.

"Awesome. We had tons of fun. I don't know if you saw Doggie, he was like a child. I think having Club President and Adonis with us helped."

Souma laughed again, and Kaoru could write novels about how much he loved that laugh. He finally stepped back, and looked at his junior's eyes. There were sparkles in them, so many he felt his own smile grow wider.

"I saw the four of you. Thanks for the support. Now, you, mister. You'd better do at least as good, or I swear my _katana_ will finally cut you," he threatened, and the blond felt tensed.

"I know," he answered on a falsely complaining tone, "but why must you terrify me like that?

\- Because I know it works," the teasing smirk on Souma's lips accompanied his finger, tracing his jawline, and could he have melted, he would have. "Now it's time for us to change positions, right?"

The smile in the corner of his lips formed before he had the time to tell himself that no, _he wasn't talking about sex_ , and that he should calm down on that point. He breathe in, and out, watching Akatsuki walk towards their own dressing room, and Kaoru decided to join UNDEAD's. On his way, he met Doggie.

"Kaoru," his junior addressed him, and he cocked his head. "Sorry for earlier. I understood what you meant. We're gonna destroy them.

\- I like that," he smiled, and both of them entered the dressing room.

"Okay, guys!" Rei had barely let them enough time to enter before he spoke. "We need to be even better than them! Think we can make it?"

The entire unit answering by a «yes» shouted so loud it could probably be heard from the other rooms placed a smile on his lips, and the unit leader told them:

"Okay, let's get prepared, and concentrate. I want all of you at your top, for this is UNDEAD's last dream Festival with its current members. Do we all agree on that?

\- I bet we do," Kaoru replied. "Unless younglings don't understand it~.

\- I told you I was sorry!" Doggie shouted, almost jumping at his senior's neck, and added: "Of _course_ we agree! I'm not gonna let Akatsuki get me down! Especially today!"

The rage in his voice made both of the third-year students smile, before Adonis calmly replied:

"I wouldn't agree more. I want to show my friend that I, too, can shine brightly. We managed to beat _fine_ last time, I don't want it to appear as sheer luck."

The motherly look the fake vampire gave them made Kaoru ruffle his hair.

"Don't cry, vampire mom.

\- But I'm so proud of you!

\- You'll be even prouder after we perform, okay?"

Rei nodded, and they finally took a very few minutes to get concentrated, train their voices, and exercise their muscles a last time, before it was time for them to get on stage.

Kaoru did his best not to think about anything else than giving all he had to sing and dance. One last time, in this school, one last battle before freedom. He breathed deeply, before the curtain opened, and the performance started. He used to check every smile on every face during Festivals, looking for the cutest girl in the lot, so he could find her later and ask for her number. But that day...

That day, again, if he wanted to see a beautiful face, a beautiful smile, he just had to raise his head towards the balcony. He _knew_ Souma was there, and he didn't have to think too hard to find him - he could only be next to Kanata. So, whenever he needed comfort, he just looked towards that area, watched the two of them, and his smile grew larger. Because he felt invincible. Nothing could get to him, but positive feelings.

He could feel his unit's voices reach him, he could feel the music linking the four of them, and he had to admit he was having a lot of fun. It was like they were children, playing together a game called UNDEAD, and the game was to sing each line better than the precedent one, to be as harmonious as possible.

And he felt _alive_. He felt more alive than ever, he felt _himself_ more than ever, and not one second, regretted the decision he had made with Rei. He had been sure, since the last time, against _fine_. He had felt what he had never noticed until now, what he had never even _bothered_ to notice until then. He had understood what passion was, he had realized he was doing something he loved, and he had opened his eyes: he wanted to stay with those three guys, no matter how weird or annoying they could be, sometimes.

He remembered Souma's speech, the last time they had fought against Akatsuki. About how he was a stray dog who needed to find his home... UNDEAD clearly felt like home. And he loved being home, and he wanted the world to understand it, right here, right _now_. Even if he had to give so much energy he'd lose his breath between two songs. As long as it didn't show much, as long as he got enough time to get it back before the next song, he had nothing to fear. And he was glad the others seemed to think the same. He had never seen them that confident, that energetic. That stage was a place where nothing mattered more than the bond linking them, and the fun it allowed them to have.

Whenever his gaze crossed his band mates', their smiles just encouraged him to smile brighter, and knowing the people in the audience just warmed his heart, knowing that two of the people he held the highest in his heart were supporting him at that very second just empowered him.

So, when the last note of the last song resounded in the hall, and they were facing the public, each one at their own position, and he had the highest difficulties catching his breath, he was smiling so wide his face hurt him. He wanted to cry. And, before he could be aware of it, he did. His vision was blurred, and his face was covered in tears. The results didn't matter at all, to him, right now. It only mattered the performance made him happy. He had feared there would be misses (there always were), but apparently, those happened to only be very minor - major ones had kept happening at the rehearsals. He was glad, so glad they didn't spoil their last time in a Dream Festival.

He suddenly felt an arm around his shoulders, and turned his head. His right hand erasing his tears, he finally saw Rei's face, and smiled to him, before his leader ruffled his hair, making him laugh.

"Hey, what's happening with you, crying and all?" he told Kaoru, laughing.

"Sorry, I'm just happy, I love performing," he answered, and got lightly hit.

"It's not over, you know? It's just the beginning, no matter if we win or lose."

The blond nodded, and their juniors joined them for a group hug, even if, for the sake of it, Doggie had to act angry. The audience seemed to like it (they always seemed to love interactions between artists, on stage), even though that wasn't the original aim. The hug broke, and the four of them saluted the audience one last time, before the curtain fell again. Kaoru had already noticed the figure hiding backstage, and opened his arms as soon as they were hidden from the hall.

He never knew Souma was so fast, because he didn't even get the time to see him run that he almost fell under his boyfriend's speed. He hugged the second year as if his life was depending on it, as if he was his own life.

"You made it," his junior whispered, and Kaoru nodded.

"Yes, I made it. Thanks to you, Souma."

If the others were listening to them, they probably wouldn't have understood what the two of them meant, but Kaoru didn't care. He cared that they understood each other, and that was it.

He was still shaking, tears of joy still threatening to fall, but it didn't matter. It mattered they had given their best, until the last second of the performance. It mattered that this marked all the changes in his life. The two of them stayed in each other arms for what seemed an eternity - but it probably wasn't that long, given the other members were still around when they broke their hug, only to look in each other's eyes.

"I'm proud of you," Souma told him, and his heart started beating faster.

It felt good. It felt so good, finally hearing someone was proud of you, he couldn't help but smile from ear to ear.

"I wouldn't have been able to do it if you hadn't been there, you know?" he replied, and that made his junior smile even more. "Thank you so much, Souma."

He cupped his lovers face in the palm of his hands, and delicately kissed him. He would have asked for much more if his body wasn't so exhausted, but he was shaking so much he needed to sit. So, he looked around, smiled at his band mates - apparently, Souma and him weren't the only ones being all lovey-dovey, and now he had an idea of how much the others could have wanted to tease him a few months earlier. But he was a responsible man, now! He wouldn't tease them. _Too much_.

"We should go and rest," he finally said, and the suggestion was approved.

After such a performance, of course the unit would need to rest a little. So they all started walking towards the dressing rooms, and, arriving in front of UNDEAD's, Rei turned towards Souma:

"So, what are you doing? Wanna stay with us, or are you kidnapping Kaoru?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"Well, I abused your generosity last time, so I think I'm gonna kidnap this thing, and introduce him to my parents," the younger answered, and Kaoru gave him a jaded look.

"But isn't he already living at your parents'?

\- My _other_ parents.

\- Oh, the scary ones. Good luck, Kaoru."

Kaoru wanted to reply he already knew them, especially since one of them was in his class, but apparently didn't have the right to say anything, so he just let it go and followed Souma until his unit's dressing room. Hasumi and Kiryu were chatting there, and raised their eyes towards the couple the second they came in. Kaoru felt like he was being judged, and if he had to be honest, that was quite terrifying, especially knowing those two. But for once, what he got was two smiles, and the right to sit with his lover. _What an unexpected development,_ he told himself.

"Congrats, Hakaze. We were watching your performance, UNDEAD really leveled up these last months."

He thanked Kiryu, finally relaxing, and closed his eyes.

"Well, I guess there was a starting point to that," he replied, looking at Souma.

He got a smile as a response, and Souma added:

"It's a good thing. UNDEAD was never bad, but the difference between our last battle and this one is so clear... It was almost like it was a completely different unit, on stage.

\- We did work much more than before," he admitted.

They had trained so much that, at the beginning, muscles he didn't know existed had hurt him for _days_ , and he had to practice, even like that. He was glad bathtubs existed, because otherwise, he wouldn't have got the strength to practice the way they did.

"Anyway, I'm very curious about the results," Hasumi said, "because even though last time was clearly all decided," it hurt to hear that, but Kaoru had to admit it was the truth, "this time will be way more complicated. I wouldn't be surprised if we lost, honestly," he admitted, and the blond understood that was his way of congratulating his opponents.

So, he silently thanked him, and closed his eyes.

"I really don't know," he finally answered. "And I'm not sure it is that important. The important thing is, we gave the audience a performance worth of them. At least, I hope so."

He saw the surprised expression on his classmate's face, and couldn't help but feel a little proud to see it. For a second, Kaoru closed his eyes - he needed to regain strength before they announced the results - so he didn't expect what followed.

"I didn't think Souma would change you that much," his classmate admitted, and he opened his eyes wide.

"Huh?

\- You're not the slacker I was used to anymore. I really feared your behaviour would affect our center, but apparently, it's the opposite, that happened. I'm glad."

Okay, what had just happened? Was Hasumi turning crazy? Or just old, like Rei? He wasn't sure what was happening anymore, but that was pretty great.

"Well, uh... Thanks," he replied, a little lost.

"You're welcome. Please take care of each other, and be happy together."

He stayed voiceless for a second, and looked at both Hasumi and Kiryu, in turns, trying to find his words.

"Does that mean you finally approve of our relationship?" he finally managed to ask.

"That's exactly what it means," Kiryu replied, and Kaoru had never felt so relieved in his life.

He sighed loudly, making Akatsuki laugh. Now he could feel completely relaxed. Smiling, he snuggled against Souma, who patted his head.

"See? Nothing to fear anymore. Be proud, darling," his junior told him, and Kaoru laughed.

"How could I not be?"

He got a kiss on his forehead as a reply, and couldn't help but smile. Life felt so good, at this second. He hoped this feeling lasted forever.

What wasn't supposed to last forever, though, was the time they had before the results, and a knock on the dressing room's door made him aware of it. It was time to know the truth. He was confident, because even if Akatsuki won, his unit and him had fought with all their strength, and their defeat would only be fair. So, the two units joined each other backstage, chatting happily while _fine_ 's leader joined them. Rei turned towards him, helping him get up from his wheelchair.

"Are you sure you're gonna be alright?" he asked, clearly worried, and Tenshouin tried to comfort him:

"I am. And in case I'm not alright, I'll have my best bodyguards on each side of the stage, right?"

He was probably speaking about Hasumi and Rei, and the fake vampire finally smiled.

"Alright. But don't do more than you can."

Kaoru noticed Rei was still holding his boyfriend's arms to help him stand, and he only understood why when the raven-haired singer said:

"Don't let go off my arms until you feel steady, okay?

\- If I did so, I'd never let go off them," the blond replied, before shooting a charming smile, and starting to walk by himself.

_Right._ While they were having a good time, that, too, was a truth. He was a little worried, wondering if Tenshouin would be able to reach the stand, but his classmate was stronger than he looked, and if you didn't know about his health, you'd have thought he was perfectly fine. That didn't seem enough to Rei, who still looks worried, and Kaoru wondered if he could see things they couldn't, because except Hasumi, nobody, himself included, seemed to notice anything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe ~ I wonder what the result will be?  
> Can't wait to see your suggestions ~ !
> 
> And of course, thank you for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, we finally have a total number of chapters! I wonder what might happen?

In the end, the two units joined the stage. It was time for them to know. Kaoru was nervous, because he didn't know what he was really hoping for: of course he wished for victory, but he couldn't help thinking there was a high chance for Akatsuki to get a better score than theirs, too. So, he tried to keep calm, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply. He tried to remind himself that the results didn't really matter. That he would be happy in any case.

"Oh? This is something new. I think it never happened before..."

Tenshouin seemed genuinely surprised, and Kaoru opened his eyes, a little worried, not daring to hope for the best. The Emperor smiled, and added:

"I guess it's deserved, since both units gave so much, today. Ladies and gentlemen, for the very first time..."

Kaoru heart was beating fast, and he felt very nervous. _Come on, finish your sentence!_

"We have a draw!"

_We what?_ The audience seemed as surprised as them, and Kaoru exchanged a look with Souma, who shrugged, apparently as astonished as him. That was a first, and nobody really seemed to know what to think of it. Tenshouin, though, calmed down the audience, and asked them to listen to what he had to say. He had always been good at speeches, and the bewildered crowd toned down almost immediately. For a mere second, Kaoru couldn't help but admire him.

"I know this might sound frustrating," he explained, "but I owe you a further explanation. The scores reached by both units are exactly the same," he told everyone, and somehow it sounded like he wanted to comfort the two units, too, "but they're also the highest ones each of them have ever reached, surpassing by far their precedent high scores. Akatsuki, UNDEAD, congratulations. Tonight's performance was a unique, wonderful experience. It's a victory, for both of you."

_Wait. Wait, wait, wait. That means we did better than last time? Was that possible?!_ He stayed silent a few minutes, too surprised by this to even react properly. Until he turned to Rei, the biggest smile ever on his face. His leader seemed as excited as him, and the other two did so - though Koga looked a bit frustrated. Still, Tenshouin asked for reaction from each leader, letting Akatsuki talk first. He hoped the reaction would be the same from each side, because Kaoru was proud - not only that UNDEAD had equaled Akatsuki, but also that both units had worked so hard.

"I might surprise everyone but... I was expecting this," Hasumi said, smiling. "I was almost hoping for it, to be honest, because I had the feeling that either we were having a draw, or we would lose to UNDEAD. Though, in such circumstances, I wouldn't have taken it badly. The difference in level in our opponents’ performance, comparing to the last time, was impressive. So, congratulations, UNDEAD, and congratulations, Kanzaki, Kiryu. For my, and Kiryu's, last Dream Festival as Akatsuki members, I feel I can say it was a success. I take pride in those results."

Somehow, it was a real relief that the other unit appreciated the draw. And Kaoru felt lighter: he would probably have felt bad in some way if either of them had won over the other. The frustration would have been too big, for one reason or another. But right now, they had proven they could always surpass themselves, and there was worth in keeping going on as UNDEAD.

Tenshouin turned towards them, letting Rei speak in UNDEAD's name, and never had the fake vampire looked so much like a proud mom. The thought made the blond huff, but he let his leader speak.

"Thank you, Akatsuki, and congratulations to you too. I can only feel joy that you also managed to beat your own record. The last time we had to face each other helped us a lot, and I have to admit I probably wouldn't have accepted any other result. You fought with all you had, and I think, in the future, all three of you can get even better. Akatsuki were real quality opponents, and we are glad you were the last unit we had to face, this year. Thank you." The raven haired leader took a deep breath, and looked around him. "It was also our last Dream Festival as UNDEAD, for Kaoru and I, but," Rei turned towards Tenshouin, checking if he had his approval, and got a very fond nod, "we hope you'll keep on following UNDEAD even after that, for the four of us plan on keeping our unit together, next year. Until our activities outside of Yumenosaki start, please keep on following Koga and Adonis's activities."

On the opposite side of the stage, the two third-year students seemed surprised - it was true they probably hadn't heard about it - but what pleased him the most was the reaction from the audience. People were cheering on them, telling them they would be waiting for them, and that warmed his heart. They weren't doing it at loss, right?

After a last speech from the Student Council President, both units went backstage, and finally, Kaoru got to hug his lover, even tighter than just before. His heart was beating fast, and he couldn't help but laugh, and plant kisses here and there on Souma's skin, until he stepped back a little so he could look into his junior's eyes. They were sparkling, as if they contained thousands of stars, and the two of them kissed, as if they didn't want to let each other go - to be honest, he _actually_ didn't want to let Souma go.

When they finally got reminded the world around them existed, Tenshouin was back in his wheelchair, probably helped by Rei, and everyone was chatting happily. Kaoru chuckled, his cheeks red, a tear of joy still rolling on his cheek. He felt relieved. Actually, he felt as light as a feather, and wanted to run and to jump. He could have gotten home like that! But before he could even start running, his leader placed a hand on his shoulder, and Kaoru turned towards him.

"Souma, can I borrow him for a second?

\- You can, as long as you give him back," Souma replied, and Kaoru didn't have the time to tell himself he hadn't expected that answer that he was in his friend's arms.

The thing made him laugh, though he couldn't help but ask:

"What's happening? Are you getting all emotional?"

Though, he hugged his friend back, and the vampire rubbed his neck.

"I am," he admitted. "But I also wanted to thank you. I mean, the Kaoru from six months ago wouldn't even have bothered coming to practice, and had it been him with us today, he wouldn't even have thought we had a chance to win."

The affirmation made Kaoru blush a little, but he sighed, and closed his eyes.

"It's not me you have to thank. It all started because Souma talked to me. And it went on because you didn't let me slack off anymore. Everything I've got now, I owe it to the two of you. My best friend and the man I love, doesn't that sound super cheesy?

\- It does," Rei admitted, "but what matters is that I'm counting on you from now on, too."

Kaoru nodded, smiling.

"Of course I'll be there."

The answer seemed to satisfy his friend, and they decided they'd talk about the important details once they were done with their exams. That said, he was given back to his boyfriend so they could spend a little more time together, before they had to change into their school uniforms. So, when Rei asked them if they were going to celebrate, while the lovers tried to escape discreetly - they did escape, but unfortunately for Adonis, Koga wasn't good with discretion - Kaoru looked at him with the deadest of looks.

"Sorry Rei, right now I just want to pick up Souma and go home," he apologized. "We don't have any obligation but his bed is calling me."

To the last words, Rei smiled:

"Oh, so it's Souma's bed you're in love with, not Souma himself?"

He hit his friend's head, laughed, and took his bag. He could feel himself falling asleep, so he sat on the sofa until Rei was ready to go, and they started walking, chatting happily until they stopped before Akatsuki's dressing room. There, Kaoru waited a moment before he knocked at the door. He could hear his classmate's voice through the door, and according to what he was hearing, he didn't want to interrupt the conversation. Actually, when Kiryu opened the door to see who it was, he even kindly asked the blond if it was okay to wait a little more.

"Is he okay?" he asked. "I know he's panicked about Akatsuki's future."

Kiryu rubbed his neck, and sighed.

"We're trying to comfort him and tell him he'll be alright. Hasumi's giving him plenty of advices right now, I think he's taking it, but..." The red haired man sighed. "Anyway, we'll send him to you, or we'll send you a text if he needs you to come, alright?"

Kaoru nodded, thanking Kiryu for telling him about the situation. He wasn't at peace with the idea that Souma wasn't feeling well, but he knew that, on that point, it would be better if the persons talking to him were there ones who were already doing it. At least he wasn't alone, that was important. After the door had closed, he sighed, and jumped when he noticed Rei. He hadn't even realized his friend had been waiting for him.

"Ah... Sorry," he said, before dragging him to a vending machine. He needed a coffee.

"Is something the matter?" his friend asked.

_Hello Vampire Mom_ , he couldn't help but think, and that made him smile. He picked up his coffee can, and opened it.

"Souma will be alone, next year," he started.

That wasn't exact, since some of his friends would still be there, but their junior was particularly surrounded by third-years.

"Actually, that might be double as hard, for him," he precised. "Because he'll have to take care of both Akatsuki and the Marine Life Club by himself."

Souma was strong, and Kaoru knew he would be able to manage both of these, but right now, he knew that seeing everybody around him leave the school was terrifying. But what he also knew was that nobody had even planned on abandoning him, and that, even when everybody would have left school, they would contact him on a regular basis.

"I see," was the only thing his friend said, for a long moment, and judging by his face, Rei feared the same. "You know... I'm kind of afraid of the future, too," he admitted. "I know Eichi won't be there anymore very soon, and that's terrifying."

Kaoru couldn't help but feel surprised about that confession, and even more when the fake vampire himself bought a can of cafe au lait.

"Because of your relationship, right? I mean, you already look like a married couple," he had to admit, and Rei nodded immediately.

"We spend more time than you would think together-

\- Rei, I'm living at the Kanzakis', I think I have an idea of how much time you can spend together," he interrupted, and that made his leader laugh.

"Yeah, you're right. Well, imagine Souma being ill. You knowing it, and seeing him take medications on a daily basis. Every morning, every evening, and a few of them at lunch. Imagine spending as much time together with him as you do, but seeing his health getting worse every day, and knowing that you have a very limited time with him before he completely disappears from the surface of the Earth."

His heart stopped. He didn't even want to imagine that, that was too cruel. Too terrifying, so much he wanted to cry... And yet his best friend had to bear with that.

"Oh, I forgot to add the dictator part, but heh, he's calmed down," the vampire added, almost too lightly.

"I'm sorry," Kaoru told him. "I don't even understand how you can stay positive and motivated as you do in that situation."

He got a surprised look, but very soon, a tender smile appeared on Rei's lips. And he realized how strong his friend was. He was a bit jealous of that, because himself had never been strong. The proof? He had always run away from his father.

"I can't let that get me down. Because even if he isn't, I'm gonna keep on living when he's not there anymore. Having UNDEAD lets me think about a future, with people I know are the best."

The compliment had him smile, but something still bothered him.

"Are we gonna keep the name as it is? Isn't it gonna be hard for you to keep on with it?"

After all, even if the unit's leader had always been obsessed with death and vampires, he could still find inappropriate to bear such a name after the man he was in love with passed away, and Kaoru would understand that.

"It has a very important meaning, for me," the fake vampire replied, wincing at his cafe au lait's taste. "It means we can get up again and again, no matter the hardships. That even if we're broken, we can get back on our feet. So no," he affirmed, with so much assurance it made the blond shiver, "I'm _never_ changing that unit's name. Especially _not_ after Eichi's gone."

_I had never thought about it like that... For me, it was just a name those crazy guys had come with._ But if he had to be honest, he would probably start looking at it with a different point of view. Somehow, right now, he wished Souma was a member of UNDEAD too.

Speaking about the devil, he felt his phone vibrate, so he took a look at it. The message he had got was from Hasumi, saying Souma was better, but _could you come and get him, please?_ He smiled, and turned towards his favorite Vampire Mom.

"I have to pick Souma up. Wanna come?"

The raven-haired man smiled, and ruffled his hair.

"It's okay, Eichi's probably waiting for me. Thanks for listening, and I hope you understand my decision.

\- I do. Thanks for telling me about it."

On those words, he finished his can of coffee, threw it in the trash bin, and went towards Akatsuki's dressing room. He knocked on the door again, and entered when authorized to do so. There, Souma was putting his coat on, his left hand erasing the last tears on his face, and as soon as his bag was on his shoulder, walked right to him, and hugged him. Kaoru hugged his lover back, leaving him the time he needed before they left the place. As expected from them, neither Hasumi nor Kiryu left the dressing room before Souma indicated he was alright, and for once, Kaoru was happy those two were over-protective.

"How do you feel?" he asked in a low voice.

"Better."

The whisper was so low himself wasn't even sure he had really heard it, but he still continued:

"You tell me whenever you feel ready to go, okay? I won't move until then."

This time, he was sure he had heard the «thanks», and put a hand in his junior's hair. That had probably been a very difficult moment for him, and he wanted Souma to feel as comfortable as possible before they went home.

"I'm falling asleep," Souma confessed after a few minutes. "Let's go home."

Kaoru nodded, and let him step back. His junior waved goodbye to the rest of his unit, and they waved back, letting them go back home. On the way, Souma stayed silent for a few minutes - Kaoru stopped for a minute to buy him a can of hot tea, that he gladly accepted. After he started drinking it, Souma started talking about what his seniors had told him, and the blond listened carefully.

"I know everybody has told me I could do it like a million times, but... I can't help but feeling like I'm not ready yet," he confessed. "They did comfort me on that, telling me I observed their work a lot, but... I don't have Lord Hasumi's gift for organization, or Lord Kiryu's gift for sewing, and I'll be the lone third year student. I think that's the thing I fear the most. And what if I can't find new members, and-

\- Souma," Kaoru replied with a calm voice. "It's gonna be alright. Don't think too much about the «what ifs», because you're only gonna be hurting yourself. Just wait, and see. If you need advice, we'll still be there, you know? You can still call them, and now you can even text them. I'm sure your adoptive parents will be more than happy to give you advices. And don't forget I'll always be there, and that also means Vampire Mom will be around, too."

Souma nodded, and smiled.

"You think your Vampire Mom would accept giving me advices too?

\- Of course," Kaoru happily replied. "Look at the number of his adopted children. He'll be more than happy to help you."

His junior seemed much more relaxed, and Kaoru felt relieved to see that, because Souma needed that, especially with the end of the year exams approaching. He had already seen how serious he was about those, and he had to admit, it had given him no choice but to get all serious about it too. And he had been surprised by his results, because they were much higher than before. He had never had bad results, which was part of the reason why he usually didn't work too much, but he had felt the difference, and couldn't help but appreciate it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♪  
> Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading ~


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ~ A few day late, chapter 20 appears! I also changed the total number of chapters because I kinda forgot to count the epilogue, hahahahaha.  
> Also please be careful, this chapter contains subjects that might be very sensitive. It was really hard for me to write at the time because of a very close thing that had happened my life at the time; this chapter and the next one helped me cope a lot, so the feeling might be very different from the rest of the fic.  
> If you're not feeling well because of it, it's okay to stop reading!

And thus, that was why, as the month of March began, on the evening, the house was all silent. Ryouta, too, was working for his own tests, and though they were easier, the child was very serious about it - that was a quality he had found the Kanzakis had, to be able to focus and work hard. He had to admit, himself had much less difficulties concentrating since he had started his kendo lessons, and had promised himself he'd thank Nobuhiko for that after the results came.

But for now, the objective was just to give his best for his grades. Thanks to the school, and to Tenshouin, Rei and him had found a few places to ask for UNDEAD to be produced on the next year, and they were relaxed enough about that to be able to focus on what was important for the moment.

The test week went on as quickly as the weeks they had spent working, and Kaoru had to admit, he was quite proud standing in the first five places for that round of tests, and that Souma was in the first place of his own class. That night, they just all decided to celebrate together, even though the graduation ceremony would happen the next day.

Kaoru was still nervous about that point. He really hoped his lover would be alright, but he also felt like not leaving the school - he didn't have a choice, he knew that, but seeing all his friends go their separate ways was quite frightening, even though he knew he probably wouldn't lose sight of them. After all, Kanata had said he wanted to stay with Chiaki, and protect the next version of Ryuuseitai. They had decided to stay in the industry, the marine creature bubbling happily in the world of idols.

"It helps me «feel better» in that «world» of yours," he had told Kaoru, who had decided that no matter where Kanata really came from, he liked that his friend had found his place.

He also knew he'd probably cross his adoptive-parents-in-law somewhere in his career path, or just at home, because they probably wouldn't stop being overprotective with Souma just like that. And all the others... Somehow, he had the feeling they would all be around - he just had to look at how the red haired second year was clinging onto the other oddballs, his hand clenched around his band mate's sleeve. After all, he would be the only one of them still in school.

And then, there was Tenshouin. Kaoru could tell something was off with him, that day, but he wasn't able to say what. He still looked way happier than usual, and was talking with all his friends - the blond was still flabbergasted by how much he had started to change after the Dream Festival, but maybe, his way of thinking had started changing even before that, without them noticing. He didn't know. What was important right now, was that he was way more positive, and way less destructive than he used to be.

So, when the time of the ceremony came and he had to let Souma go with Adonis, he didn't mind sitting next to his leader's boyfriend. They chatted a little, and he was surprised that the Emperor thanked him for putting with Rei's decision to keep going with UNDEAD, even after that.

"I guess I grew fond of working with them," he admitted, and Tenshouin smiled at him.

"I think everybody knows that, now," he replied, "It's obvious, when you're all on stage together."

Kaoru couldn't help but smile, and rubbed his neck. Even though he didn't feel like it was much work anymore, he had to admit, he had had to take a lot on himself for the situation to change.

"Also, I have to ask you one thing.

\- Yeah?

\- Please, take care of Rei for me. As his best friend, please, don't let his sorrow take over him, and don't let him turn into a mess."

The request made his heart stop, and he understood what had seemed off, earlier.

"I will. ...It is time, isn't it?"

He hadn't really wanted to ask it, and he probably shouldn't have, but he couldn't help.

"Please don't tell him," his classmate confirmed, and Kaoru nodded.

"Understood."

They chatted a little more before the ceremony started, and, when the time came, Hasumi led Tenshouin to the stage, where the president of the student council had to do a speech. Kaoru checked on Rei, who was sitting just across the passageway, and noticed how tense his leader seemed. _And Tenshouin asked me not to tell him, huh?_ Rei probably already knew, and so did Hasumi, who was silently staying behind the Emperor, looking as sharp and serious as usual. But, before their eyes, Tenshouin just looked perfectly fine, even in the way he stood.

"Dear students, from the first to the third year... First of all, I know this year has been terrible for some of you. And I know a large part of this is due to my egoist actions. For that, I wish to apologize. It will never be enough, I know it. But I have come to listen, and understand how it felt. Once again, I'm sincerely sorry.

"Now, I'm sure you still all managed to learn a lot of new things, in this school. In terms of classes, of course, and how to improve and manage your future life as idols, but also in terms of friendship, love, support, and, of course, in each of your own personal activities. For that, I would like to thank not only Yumenosaki's entire staff, but also each one of you. I wish for you all to progress in your studies, or the new life that is waiting for you after today.

"To everyone, I wish you luck, and a solid determination. Also, please, choose a better student council president that I was."

The look in his eyes was apologetic and sincere, and Kaoru was out of breath. A lot of students would probably think he was just being kind for his last day in school, but the ones who knew him better also knew that, this time, he wasn't faking, and that, even though he still looked majestic, he was holding his head lower than usual. That was, until he collapsed.

"EICHI!"

It looked surreal, and the blond didn't understand immediately, while Rei had already left his seat, to check on his boyfriend. People around had started screaming, and the tension was rising up. Fortunately, the teachers were quick to organize themselves, and started evacuating the students. Kaoru, though, decided to check on his friend, but he could see Tenshouin's eyes were open, and he was conscious. Smiling, even.

"Is it gonna be okay?"

His leader nodded, a faint smile on his lips, looking older than ever, and told him he should evacuate, too.

"Eichi needs some space, to breathe," he calmly explained in a very low voice. "I'll keep in touch with you."

The blond nodded, and started to leave the place, until he heard a very weak «wait!». Turning towards the scene, he saw the Emperor smile at him - and he wondered if the man would ever stop smiling like that - and talk to him:

"Thank you, Hakaze. I'm gonna be alright." He took his time to breathe, and Kaoru could hear how difficult it seemed. "Goodbye."

He lowered his eyes. He hated goodbyes. But this time... He raised his eyes, and, one last time, looked into his classmate's.

"Goodbye, Tenshouin."

On these words, he left the hall, joining the rest of the school. He couldn't help but want to cry, hearing the sirens, and his heart was squeezing. So, he started looking for Souma, but the people were so disorganized it would be difficult. He had to go from group to group, to finally find his boyfriend next to Kanata, both of them discussing quietly. Probably the only ones to do so, if he had to be honest. As he was on his way to join them, he was intercepted by Koga, who barked at him, and right now, Kaoru didn't want to answer him.

"So, how's the situation?

\- Tenshouin's still conscious," he said. "But who knows for long...

\- And Sakuma?

\- I think he'll be okay for now," he explained. But be ready, stay around with Adonis, in the next hours. He'll need us."

His junior finally let him go, and he was happy he got to join his lover's arms. He felt sorry for not even according a look to Kanata, but right now, he needed a hug. Fortunately, those two were good at understanding him, and once he was in Souma's arms, Kanata hugged the two of them, silently. And more than ever, he was glad he had them. He wanted to suggest they'd go to a calm place, but the teachers hadn't had the time to decided on what would be going on next yet.

At least, he could hear the cars park, and one of the doors open. He delicately broke the hug, telling Kanata and Souma he needed to breathe. So, both of them stepped away, letting him find his breath again. He looked all around him - it still felt like he was in a movie, or just in another world - and vaguely saw the emergency staff evacuated Tenshouin from another door, and he was glad about that. At least, they wouldn't have to go through all the curious students. He also saw his best friend climb in the ambulance, while Hasumi was walking towards the hall.

There, he looked all around, and gathered the student council, close enough to the Marine Life Club for them to be able to hear them. Ritsu had joined them, for once not even looking a little bit sleepy.

"How is Ecchan?" he asked, "And brother?"

In the mess that was his head, the thing that the blond understood the best was that Rei's little brother had definitely dropped the «thingy» after the Christmas live. And, that very second, he also realized he was probably lost, too, because that wasn't supposed to be the most important thing, right now.

He vaguely heard Hasumi explain the situation to Tenshouin's surroundings, not even listening anymore. _I just want to go home. I just want to go home and hide under a blanket._ He was in Souma's arms again, and had hidden his head in the crook of his boyfriend's neck. He could feel his junior's hand in his hair, and it felt so good he thought he'd fall asleep and discover, the next day, that it was just a nightmare.

But the hand on his shoulder told him it wasn't a nightmare.

"Hakaze, can I speak with you?"

It took him a few seconds before he felt ready to step away from the hug, and he wasn't sure if he was crying or not. What he was sure of, though, was that he wouldn't like what Keito had to tell him. A little lost, he looked at Souma, as if he was asking him about his own feelings on the moment.

"It's gonna be alright," his junior told him, and he nodded.

"I'll be back soon," he answered, letting go of his boyfriend to go and talk away from the crowd with Hasumi.

They looked for a spot that was far enough from both the hall where the incident happened, and the one where the students were gathered, and Kaoru was glad about that. His classmate seemed so, and the blond realised how tired he looked. Something told him Hasumi was on the verge to break down anytime soon. But he didn't, not right now, and just sat, next to him, so they could talk.

The room stayed silent for a few seconds, though, enough time to settle in and calm down, before they finally felt able to speak.

"Okay," the student's council vice president started, "So, I think you know what's important to know, don't you?"

He nodded.

"I do. I know and understand what's happening.

\- Perfect," Hasumi told him, and Kaoru was surprised to hear a relieved sigh. "I really didn't feel like explaining it all.

\- That must feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders, doesn't it?"

The only answer he got, this time, was a sorry smile, and that said it all. Maybe Hasumi just needed to be understood, and the only other person that could do so was the one who had accompanied Tenshouin.

"I'm already guessing what you're going to ask me. It's about Rei, right?"

Hasumi nodded, seeming really tired, and the blond felt sorry for him. Having to deal with Tenshouin was probably harder than you could believe, enough for him not to look like the angry mother-in-law he usually seemed to be. To be honest, right at this moment, Kaoru wouldn't have appreciated his acting that way.

"What you don't know is for how long they've been together, and thus how much Sakuma might suffer afterwards."

Kaoru bit his lip. That was right, he had no idea about that; but if he had to believe that speech, it had started quite a while ago. So he really hoped Rei wouldn't be alone to bear with that, and would be able to get up.

"That's right," he finally answered, not knowing what was best to say or not. "But what I know is that Rei's world doesn't seem to work without Tenshouin around."

His eyes opened wide. It finally hit him. _Rei's world didn't seem to work without Tenshouin around_. And yet...

"...But I promised Tenshouin not to let Rei fall down," he added, sure of him, this time. "Even if it was only a few hours ago, he asked me to help keep Rei's mind clear. Whatever happens next, I just know my best friend is suffering, and I need to do all I can to have him cheer up." He thought about all the people around Rei, all those ones he called his children. "And I won't be alone. UNDEAD will be there for him, and don't forget all the people around him. He's not alone. Hasumi, I know it's not a right time to say that, but you really worry way too much."

He finally smiled, and patted his classmate's head. Hasumi seemed in disbelief, and his surprised expression didn't move at all for a while. Maybe he was just the one who needed support.

"You just needed to talk, didn't you?" he asked, before adding: "But then, why me?"

The other one looked completely lost, and Kaoru couldn't help but feel sorry for him, again. Yet, he really didn't understand. Why him? Hasumi had a lot of people he was closer to - so why him, and not Souma, who was literally in his arms when his classmate had come and looked for him, or Kiryu?

"...I guess I needed to speak with someone who was aware about the situation," he admitted. "It's just... I'm doing my best to stay on earth so everything goes smoothly," he admitted, "but I'm terrified because my childhood friend is living his last moments - if he hasn't passed away yet."

The blond nodded, and got up.

"Hasumi. Don't lose your time speaking with me. You should be by his sides, at the hospital. I'll speak with Souma to see if he feels like coming, but I think we'll go there, too. Rei needs support, and so will you."

For the first time, he could see his classmate's serious and determined expression break, and that felt unusual. He couldn't help but tell himself that no matter what happened, in the end, all those weird people around him were just humans. None of them were super heros, not even him.

"Thank you. I'll go now. I think the teachers have decided they'd sent everyone back home, they didn't feel like keeping the ceremony going after what happened, since everybody knows he wasn't just feeling bad."

He couldn't agree more with that. Right now, he felt like going to check on his friends, rather than just get his diploma. So, in silence, they left the room, and went back to the hall. A little lost, and he had to admit, tired, Kaoru looked for the other members of his club, and found them in a corner, away from the crowd, discussing together. His heart squeezed when he saw Kanata's naive smile had disappeared, but also when he saw the worries on his lover's face. Souma was someone who was guided by his emotions (especially anger), even though he was working on it, and Kaoru still feared he'd do something stupid. In a way, the fact Souma didn't appreciate Tenshouin was comforting.

"Hey," he addressed his junior, "Let's get home."

He was met with surprised eyes. That probably wasn't what Souma expected him to say, but, heh, even himself was surprised about that.

"Are you sure? Don't you want to go to the hospital?"

He rubbed his neck. Ah, he hadn't been completely wrong, but he hadn't thought that would be the question.

"Well, I'd like to, but are you okay with it?"

He got lightly hit on the head - Souma's «lightly» still hurt a lot - for some reason, and was ready to ask why. But he didn't get to even say a word.

"Lord Hasumi is going there, too, right? That means, I, too, have a friend I should go and support. Also, it's not because I don't appreciate someone that I wish for their death, you know?"

He didn't get the time to say anything before Souma got up, took his hand, took Kanata's arm, and led them outside.

Kaoru couldn't be gladder at that instant, though he hadn't really understood why Kanata was accompanying them. Yet, their Club President seemed so happy to go with them, he saw no reason to push him away. After all, Rei was his friend, too. So, they took on walking to the hospital, but right before the entry of the school, a car stopped, and the person driving it got out, opening the doors.

"We'll get there faster by car," Hasumi told them.

Souma's eyes started sparkling, and he bowed so low Kaoru feared he would hurt his back. They all sat in the car, driving to the hospital.

"I hope they let us get in," Hasumi admitted. "He might need not to have too many people with him."

That was a possibility they couldn't ignore, but Kaoru was ready to wait outside the hospital if needed. He wanted to be there for his best friend, because that would be the most important.

Feeling a finger caress the back of his hand made him realize he was probably a little bit too stressed out. He found out he was holding his lover's hand a little bit too tight, and quietly apologized.

"It's okay," his junior had whispered. "I know you're worried.

\- Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> Thanks for reading! What do you think will happen to Eichi, mh?


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm very happy so many people went through that story ♥  
> Today's chapter is a little bit special, please take a look at the tags before reading it, I modified it them a bit for this chapter ~

A whole eternity seemed to happen before the car parked on the hospital's parking lot, and they had to walk a long way before finally getting to the reception, where they could finally ask for the room Tenshouin was in. After they gave them the number, the lady told them it was okay if they went in, but they had to stay calm. After Hasumi had thanked her, they finally went there.

Kaoru wondered how his classmate could stay so calm, so assured, when his childhood friend was living his last moments. Himself was shaking, knowing someone he had known for a while was about to live that world. Death and him had never really been friends; to be honest, he was a bit frightened, and probably shaking, because the grip on his hand got a bit stronger, reminding him he wasn't alone, and wouldn't have to be anymore.

_That's why I'm here_ , he reminded himself, _So Rei is not alone._

The thought helped him feel better, and he felt glad when they finally arrived before the room. Hasumi knocked, and the one opening to them, tears in the corner of his eyes, was the one they expected to. Him, though, didn't seem to have expected visit. A very little smile appeared on his lips, and he let them enter.

Tenshouin's face, on the bed, seemed to lighten a lot when he saw them all. He probably hadn't expected that, and started to laugh.

"And I always thought I'd die alone," he admitted. "Apparently I was wrong."

Souma looked away, muttering something among the lines of «Don't get me wrong, I'm here for Lord Hasumi», but Kanata was bubbling happily, and Rei smiling.

"Did you really think I would have let you alone at that time?" Hasumi asked him, making the Emperor laugh.

"I had planned to hide the moment it would happen from you, actually. I didn't expect to collapse in front of everyone." The azure eyes sparkled, and he added, fondly: "You were a good mom for the brat I was. Thanks, Keito. I have no words to explain how important it was that you stayed by my sides all along."

Hasumi huffed, and smiled tenderly.

"I always believed in you. I wouldn't have thought you needed a determined vampire and his children to put your mind in place.

\- I didn't either, but I didn't think vampires could be that sexy," Tenshouin teased, looking at Rei the same way Kaoru looked at Souma. "And so dedicated. Cheesy. Enamored.

\- Are you trying to shame me?

\- I'm trying to thank you, idiot."

Rei smiled, sitting on the chair next to the bed. He seemed tired, and Kaoru could only imagine how stressing it could be, to stay by the sides of someone you knew could leave this world anytime.

"I'm gonna miss you," Rei admitted.

"I hope so," the Emperor answered. "But don't stay stuck on that, okay? You're still young. Someday you can find love again, even if you don't want to think about it right now. And it's okay. I just want you to become happy again, okay?"

The fake vampire nodded, not hiding the tears that were falling down his cheeks. Tenshouin erased the tears, and looked at the door that just opened.

"Mister Tenshouin," the nurse addressed, before realizing there were other people in the room. "Oh! Hello. Hum... Mister Tenshouin, are you sure you don't want the care?

\- I'd rather be conscious in my last moments than stay in a coma," he replied, with an assurance someone on the verge to give his last breath wasn't supposed to have. "I need to speak with my friends here, one last time."

The woman didn't even know what to reply, so she just bowed and left the room, closing the door. Tenshouin sighed, and looked at Hasumi.

"Don't give me that aggravated look, Keito. Their care... That would be trying to have at least my heart beating and my breath going, but that would be an artificial life support and I probably wouldn't even be conscious. I just want to go in peace."

The man didn't say a thing, and nodded. He probably didn't even want to see his friend in that state. In the meantime, Tenshouin had turned towards Kanata, who was just bubbling around, his heart not as light as usual - that was a heart-breaking view.

"Shinkai..." Tenshouin's voice trailed off. "I can't help but admire you in such a moment. You, Rei, and Wataru, were like gods to me. And I...

\- Don't worry," Kanata said, smiling. "We «know». It's over, now. Even if Shu isn't «comfortable» yet, he will come to it. I am not «angry». I have friends who «care» for me. And I «met» them thanks to that."

The blond seemed confused, and though he seemed sorry, there was a small smile on his lips. Kanata's words certainly lifted some kind of weight on his chest, huh? That was this guy's superpower.

"Hey, Hakaze," the Emperor looked at him, seeming very tired. "Thanks for listening to me, earlier. And for what you did for Rei. I'm glad I could see so many faces of so many people. And you proved me that changes were always possible, no matter how big they were. Many people will keep on hating me," he admitted, "but I've learned that what mattered was what I aimed for. Thank you."

He didn't know what to say. Of course, Tenshouin had probably watched him from afar, or just from Rei's sides, while his life was completely changing. He wouldn't have thought that his learning to be a decent human being would have any impact on someone he didn't really frequent at all...

"Huh... You're welcome," he replied.

"I hope the two of you live a happy life together," he told him, his gaze going from Souma to him.

Kaoru couldn't help but see his lover's reflex to unsheathe his sword, but not only wasn't the weapon there, it would probably have been confiscated at the entrance of the hospital. So, Souma just hid behind him, making him smile. On the bed, the Emperor placed a hand on his heart.

"Rei?" he called, in a very low voice.

"Mh?

\- I love you.

\- I love you too."

As they kissed, Kaoru understood. Those words were important, right at this moment. Everybody in the room was probably aware of it now, so, when Tenshouin closed his eyes, the expression on Rei's face changed.

"I'm tired. I think I'm gonna sleep," he told them. "Thank you for being there. Tell the ones who aren't there that I think of them.

\- We will," Rei answered, his voice on the verge to break.

A last smile appeared on the Emperor's face, and on the screen, the regular «beep» kept slowing down, until it turn into a long and continuous one. Doctors hurried in the room, and as they left it - except for Rei - they heard the efforts made to try and reanimate him, but...

"He won't come back."

Hasumi had said out loud what everybody thought.

"He doesn't want to come back."

The man sighed, and for the first time, Kaoru saw him cry. He couldn't believe that was possible, and for a second, that seemed like the most fascinating thing in the world. Until the door opened, and the doctors left it, looking at them with a sorry expression. The shook of their heads said it all. As he heard Rei cry, turning towards Souma to tell him he was going to his friend's side, Hibiki and Ritsu were arriving. And they seemed to know that no words were needed.

Heads low, they didn't dare entering the room at first, but Kaoru did. He walked to his friends sides, placing a hand on his back to tell him he was there if needed. On the bed, Tenshouin just looked like he was sleeping peacefully, a smile on his lips. Kaoru heart squeezed. Hard. He was bad with death. Even if it was the death of someone who was responsible for the death of others, even if he was someone disrespectful and hated, Kaoru couldn't help but cry.

To think they were chatting together just a few minutes ago, that this man had, incidentally, become an important part of every student's life, in a good or a bad way, that it was a very important part of Rei's just made him cry, and he hugged his best friend. It wasn't long before he felt two other persons near them, and join them in the hug. The room was almost silent, except for sniffing, and that was terrifying. He wanted run away. To go far from there. But, he knew it, that wouldn't solve anything at all.

So he just hugged Rei a little tighter, and his friend let him do so. He knew how loneliness could be terrifying, and for he had got out of there, he didn't want Rei to fall in there, too. The positive thing about all of that was that Rei wouldn't be the only one to mourn the Emperor. He had close friends, his brother, even, around him. And that alone made Kaoru's heart a little lighter.

He wondered how Souma was doing, outside of the room, with Hasumi. If everything was gonna be okay, there. For a second, he wondered what he felt like, to lose someone you had around you all your life long. And then, he wondered what it was to have someone who loved you all your life long. In the end, it didn't really matter. That wasn't the thing to focus on right now.

It took a good half an hour before any of them dared moving. But exhaustion had them step back from each other, letting Rei look a last time at the Emperor's face.

"Goodbye, Eichi," he said a last time. "I love you."

The vampire's voice was broken, and his head low, when they left the room. They had the surprise to find Hasumi, sat on the floor, his face hidden by his hand, and Souma, looking completely lost, crouching by his sides.

"I tried everything I could," the second-year explained, "but...

\- It's okay. Thank you, Kanzaki," Rei told him softly, before crouching in front of Hasumi.

The raven-haired student delicately took Hasumi's hand, to let him see him, and took him in an embrace. And though that was unexpected, the other one just desperately clung to Rei, crying all he knew. And once again, Rei's tears were unstoppable. Kaoru helped Souma to get up, and asked for a hug, because that was what he needed the most, right now. A good hug from the man he loved, a good comfort of his being by his sides. Because, he didn't need more to understand what Rei was living was terrifying.

He was shaking a bit, and Souma put a hand in his hair, caressing it softly, letting him calm down without saying a word, and he was thankful.

"I'm lucky," he finally managed to say. "I'm lucky you're by my sides."

For once, no punch in his stomach was given - and he was grateful for that - but instead, he felt a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm lucky too," Souma replied, and Kaoru hugged him just a little tighter. "And I hope we stay lucky for a while.

\- A long, long while," he replied, a faint smile on his lips.

A light laugh escaped his lover's lips, and Kaoru felt a little better. He loved Souma's laugh so much it always made him feel a little better.

Next to them, Hasumi and Rei had finally managed to get up and were discussing together, while Hibiki and Ritsu - accompanied by Kanata - were spending time in Tenshouin's room, telling him the things they hadn't managed to say before. He knew there wasn't much more they could do, and decided to check if he was right. So, when he got the chance, Kaoru placed a hand on his leader's shoulder.

"Are you gonna be okay for today?

\- Yes. Thank you, Kaoru. I'll wait for Ritsu, and I guess Mao's going to be around, so we'll get home all together. You can go home, don't worry."

He lifted an eyebrow, not sure about the very last part.

"I won't listen to the «don't worry» part for a moment, but you can send me messages or call me anytime, alright?" He turned towards Akatsuki's leader. "And I think the same goes for you with Souma. Being alone and cry is important, but you should also spend some time with other people, okay?"

Hasumi nodded, and a hand ruffled his hair. He smiled, even if that was a very little smile.

"Understood." His leader turned towards the other oddballs, who were coming back from the room. "But I'm not alone right now, so the two of you can go home and rest, I think you need it," he smiled, while Hibiki was opening his arms.

Rei didn't hesitate and hugged his friend again, quickly surrounded by «bubble, bubble’s», this time certainly thought as a comfort word. The scene relieved him enough, so he went back to his lover's sides.

"Should we go back home?" he asked and the vigorous nod he got as an answer was enough of an answer.

So, they waved their friends goodbye, and left the hospital. The outside seemed completely different, and Kaoru felt a little lost, as if they had just entered a new, different world. He knew the world would have seen different after he graduated anyway, but he hadn't expected it to turn out that way. He wondered if that was how his family had felt when he was born, if that was why they hated him so much. Because the world had changed, and all it had left them was a crying baby. His heart squeezed, and, not seeing the world around him anymore, he let out a single «I'm sorry». He could feel his body start to shake, his tears start to fall again. _Why did I have to break their world?_

"I'm sorry!" he heard himself shout, "I didn't want her to die! I swear!"

He felt like a real mess, crying, shaking, shouting how sorry he was. He felt like he couldn't stop, he wanted to disappear from the world. He felt like shouting he was sorry would help him disappear. He wanted all that to stop, all his life, and knew the way his nails were clutching on his shoulder was a little bit too strong. But somehow, he couldn't help but feel satisfied by the pain.

Until he felt warmth around him. _Where am I?_ It felt good. If felt like love. _Am I authorized to get loved?_ It smelled good. He loved the scent of the cinnamon. It felt like home. _I have a home._

When his eyes started to see again, they first saw the ground of a parking lot. He blinked, twice, and his other senses came back. He felt fabric, but also arms around him. Pain, too. His fingers were clutching so hard on his shoulder it hurt, and he took some time to open them. Pain again, he had managed to hurt himself, and there were tiny blood stains on his white shirt. Cinnamon. That was Souma's hair treatment's scent, and he loved it. It helped him feel comfortable.

"What just happened?" he finally asked.

"I think you had a anxiety attack. You suddenly stopped, and shouted «I'm sorry». And then you were shaking and..."

He felt a hand on the small wound he had inflicted himself.

"I'm sorry," he said once again, completely consciously, this time. "It's just... The world feels different, all of a sudden. So I just... I wondered if my family had felt the same after I was born. Because, you know...

\- I know." He was glad he had already talked about that in the past, because he didn't have the strength to talk about it right now, especially after someone close to them passed away. "But it's okay. The world probably seemed different, yes. But their hating you doesn't mean they're right to do so.

\- But the three of them hate me, and...

\- That's a total of three persons. Kaoru, look around you. Just at home you have four - no, five, I shouldn't forget Kamekichi - people who love you. Three more in your unit. Way much more in our school. And a number you can't even imagine, as fans. So who's right?"

He stayed silent for a moment. Of course he knew his family was wrong. Admitting it was another thing, though. But at least, that helped him come back to his senses, and he ended up smiling.

"Thanks, Souma." He stepped away from the hug, took his lover's hand, and kissed him. "I want to say sorry for the attack but you're probably gonna punch me if I do so.

\- I will," the younger confirmed.

"So let's just go home, huh? And enjoy our holidays.

\- Watching documentaries about turtles?"

The purple eyes were sparkling, and Kaoru couldn't help but laugh.

"And why not going to the aquarium, and watch real turtles? Or better, to the ocean? We could bring Kanata with us."

Souma looked like the happiest child in the world, letting him know that was the best idea he could have ever thought of, and they walked back home, speaking about all the things they could do for their holidays, letting themselves escape from that day's hardships.

It wasn't before they were home that they allowed themselves to go back on everything that happened, when Satomi greeted them, asking how their day had been going. A second later, they were both in her arms, silently crying, exhausted by all that had been going on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaahhahaha finally this is being published... Thank your for staying until the end!  
> Please stay around for one more week, for the epilogue!
> 
> As usual, thank you for reading ♥


	22. Epilogue

Kaoru had never been very good with traditional clothing, and he bit his lip when Souma had to help him tie his _hakama._ He looked at his reflection in the mirror, checking everything looked alright, before he straightened his lover's _haori_. The swordsman winced a little at his own reflection: unlike Kaoru, he wasn't used to wear so much black - though, the blond couldn't help but think, it suited him very well - and didn't seem at ease. Kaoru knew he was uncomfortable with the color, but had resigned when Hasumi had insisted he did an effort for that day.

"I'm still not too sure I want to mourn that guy," he muttered, constantly adjusting his own clothes, and Kaoru had to readjust it right after for it to look correct.

"I know," he answered. "But at least today, for your friend, you need to be there."

He believed that respecting friends' wishes were important; and if he didn't care that much about Tenshouin, he wanted to be there for Rei, the same way Hasumi would need all his friends around him, Souma included. The swordsman sighed, and gave up on his adjustments. He took his handbag, looking at Kaoru who was waiting for him, and they joined the rest of the Kanzaki family.

It was a very strange vision; he was used to everyone wearing all kind of colors at home, from the colorful _kimonos_ Satomi like to wear to Ryouta's everyday clothes. So, seeing them all in black felt quite out-of-place. _This day's gonna be long..._ Nobuhiko greeted them, and told them they were ready to go, and they had bought a bouquet of flowers already.

He wasn't feeling at his best when they parked near the temple. Kaoru wasn't used to going to temples, for he hadn't stepped in one since his mother's funerals. But that day, for once, it was about a very different story. Not one with a very happy ending either, unfortunately, but now he knew it was only a step, in one's life. He felt a squeeze on his hand, and jumped, wondering since when Souma was holding his hand - the answer was «since they had left the house», but his mind had left that away, too focused on separating his mixed feelings from the truth.

He smiled to his lover, and they left the car to join everybody. They hadn't entered yet, and Kaoru felt relieved about that point: it meant he had some time to spend with Rei, to try and help him lighten his sorrow, even just a very little bit, before the ceremony started. So, as soon as they were close to the temple, he started looking for his friend. He wasn't too hard to find: in the middle of the place, surrounded by very colourful people. Four of them, to be exact; that seemed unlikely, since Itsuki and Sakaski were a lot of things but fond of the Emperor, yet they probably were there to support their friend.

"Shall we join them?" he asked his boyfriend, and Souma nodded vigorously.

He took a deep breath, walking towards his friend. He could already guess his expression, and as they joined the group, he could first see the circles under Rei's eyes, and the sadness hidden behind the smile the oddballs were drawing on his face, trying to distract him. The scene lifted his mood a little, and when he applauded the magic trick performed by Hibiki and Sakasaki, the artists curtseyed. Accross them, at least, the smile seemed just a little brighter.

 

* * *

 

"Souma! Kaoru!"

A voice called their name, and the blond told himself it was time - he had already drunk half a two liters bottle of water, and feared he was going to drink them all before their friend arrived. Kanata was not late - he was right on time, actually - but Kaoru had the stupid idea to arrive early, not considering he'd felt like he was going to melt under the summer sun. Souma seemed to have absolutely no difficulty handling the temperature, though, letting him wonder if he was dating a man or a demon. In the end, he had concluded he didn't care about that point, because he just wanted Kanata to arrive quickly.

As soon as he was by their sides, the blond sighed of relief, making his lover laugh. He greeted Kanata, as impatient as a child, and the three of them finally walked towards what he had longed for. They only had a mere minute or two before they were finally walking on the sand, and they could admire the waves of the ocean; and suddenly, the group lost approximately ten years of age, running like the children they felt like, towards the ocean. The were the Marine Life Club, after all, and even though the older ones had left the school, they were no less lovers of the ocean.

Soon, they found the perfect spot for their things, on the beach, and placed towels, bags, and clothes there. For now, the blond also left his surfboard; he needed to go and swim, and judge how the waves felt before he'd take it.

Unexpectedly, though, while he was walking towards the water, he saw Kanata run towards the water, throwing himself in the ocean. Worry made him run, too, even though he knew his friend had learned how to swim - he had never actually seen his former Club President do it, and feared he would hurt himself, or be taken away by the sea. But soon, the azur head popped out of the sea, a smile Kaoru knew way too well plastered on his face. He sighed out of relief, and finally entered the water.

"Kanata, are you okay?" he asked.

_Look at me, I sound like vampire mom._

"I am. Kaoru, look!" his friend told him, showing him how he swam.

And if he had to be honest, Souma was probably a very good teacher, because Kanata was swimming very well, and quite fast. Maybe a little _too_ fast, and the blond had too go and look for him, worried again he'd go too far.

"Kanata!" he called. "Don't," he had to regain his breath, "swim to far. You have to be careful, in the ocean. If you go too far, you can't swim back," he explained.

He had to refrain himself from adding the words «and the ocean will take you», because that would probably have the opposite effect of the inteded one. Yet, the green eyes looked at him with sheer curiousity - Kanata had probably guessed he hadn't, and would never, finish his sentence - before they expressed a joy he hadn't ever seen. They swam back to the beach together. There, his friend turned towards him, and, with the brightest of smiles, told him:

"Kaoru, I have a «request»."

Kaoru tilted his head, now being the curious one:

"Yes?"

And suddenly, something he had never thought he would never see happened right in front of his eyes: his former Club President bowed as low as possible.

"Can you «teach» me how to «surf»?"

_Oh._ He had almost forgot about that, and he just _couldn't_ refuse.

"Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the monster is over... It's weird to think all this started with "HEY WHAT IF I STARTED AN OS ABOUT KAORU'S REACTION TO AKATSUKI'S NEW OUTFIT" in the middle of an airport almost a year ago.
> 
> Anyway, thanks to everyone who followed this until the end! Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I have to admit it: this was first thought as a One-Shot, and ended up as... I'll let you be the judge of what it has turned into. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


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